Hey everyone! Here's the next chapter!

Man, this feels so amazing to write, because the plot isnt centered around Naruto or Sakura succeding in bringing Sasuke back to Konoha or affecting him so deeply that he "turns" good again...

Enjoy, and review!

Chapter 12

The weeks passed. The snow was now a thick powdery layer on the ground, the sky a pale and dreary gray that was only pierced by the dark branches of trees that ringed the Sound base. The cherry tree stood barren and frozen in the center of the field just outside the entrance to the base, and despite it's icy appearance, every time I saw it without leaves or flowers I breathed a little easier. I could put off the upcoming decision a while longer.

The cool floor was hard and uncomfortable as I knelt before Orochimaru, the discomfort forcibly bringing my mind back to the present and away from thoughts of the cherry tree. I could feel his power radiating off of him in waves, though it was also filled with underlying weakness of his curse that was spreading throughout his arms and now his shoulders. My eyes were trained on the ground, and I could hear Sasuke shifting to his other foot beside me, not bothering to kneel. That lucky bastard…

My hair was in its usual bun, but it was so tight that it was almost painful. I had been literally flipped out of my bed by a blank faced servant, who had told me that Orochimaru requested my presence immediately. And so I had hopped around the room frantically, grabbing my clothes and yanking them on while trying to put my hair up at the same time. Not a very wise combination, as I ended up on the floor, one hand pulling up my hair while another tried to get my foot through the pant-leg.

Now I was still half-asleep, blinking the sleep out of my eyes as I waited for Orochimaru to bid me rise. He was purposely drawing it out, and I could feel his eyes on me, those yellow, snake-like eyes.

"Rise, Hikari."

I got to my feet, bowing quickly for a moment before straightening once more. His face was clammy and sallow, almost sunken into the hollows of his face. A slight trembling was present in his fingers, a trait that had been absent when I first arrived here.

Orochimaru was weakening. That much was obvious, and I tried not to look too glad about that fact as a small smile stretched his thin lips.

"Come here, child."

I slowly moved forward, and tried not to shiver as his cold hands reached up to touch my neck, his yellow eyes searching mine with a powerful intensity, and I resisted the urge to look at my feet.

After a moment, he released me, and I instinctively took a step back.

"Hikari…you have grown stronger…no?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"Is Sasuke-kun a sufficient teacher?"

"Yes, my Lord."

A low cackling laugh filled the chamber as Orochimaru leaned forward on his seat, his eyes appraising me with that sick humor of his that didn't seem funny in the slightest.

"So changed, too! When you arrived in this place, you were a fiery vixen…now look at you."

I gritted my teeth, and squared my shoulders, refusing to take his bait.

"I suppose that the life of a ninja does not allow for such a quick temper…" Orochimaru mused, and Sasuke snorted from his position on the ground floor, and I glanced back to see him smirking derisively. There was a melancholy tone to his blank stare, as if he was reminiscing over bittersweet memories.

But that look was gone in an instant, and the coldness was back in his stare.

I turned back around, and Orochimaru leaned back with a sigh.

"Sasuke-kun…how far along is Hikari, in your opinion?"

Sasuke glanced at me, and his voice echoed in the chamber. "She excels at ninjutsu, much higher than jounin level. Her taijutsu and speed are both at jounin level, and her chakra control is chuunin level, as is genjutsu, both of them being her weaker points. With three or four more months of training…she will be proficient enough to fill our agreement."

I stared at him, a pleased blush rising to my cheeks. He had been haranguing me for weeks and weeks, nit picking and scolding whenever I would make a mistake…and then here he was, telling Orochimaru how skilled I was.

Then I remembered my mission, and I quickly pushed the warm feelings away, my fingers clenching into fists.

Orochimaru spoke once more. "Well, then, Sasuke-kun will continue to train you, and in three months, when all the snow has melted, come before me once more and we will see if you have reached the level I expect." He waved his hand in dismissal, and I bowed shallowly before turning and quickly walking out of the throne room.

Once out of the suffocating room, I let out a large sigh, and quickly took out the hair tie that was holding back my hair, and rubbed my scalp soothingly as I made my way back to Sasuke's room. I needed to get some warmer clothing if I was going to train out in the snow today.

As I was re-tying my hair into a more comfortable bun, I heard soft footsteps behind me, and closed my eyes briefly to sense the chakra that was exuded from the figure. It was a warm, gently flowing chakra, and I knew in a second that it was Hana.

Don't get me wrong, I still didn't like Hana, but after Kabuto's threat, I was more accepting of her annoyingness than before, seeing as I wanted to keep my eye on her as much as possible without driving Sasuke or me insane.

Hana moved so she was walking beside me, and smiled widely. "Are you going out into the snow?"

I nodded, and turned down the hallway that led to Sasuke's room, Hana chattering happily at my side.

"Before I came here, in my village, we would always go out and make snow sculptures shaped like our enemies, and then we'd beat the living crap out of them…my best friend even lit his on fire once…" Hana's emerald eyes glowed as she remembered, a loving smile turning up her lips. I smiled.

"Where is this best friend now?"

Hana flushed darkly at my suggestive emphasis, and swatted my arm. I easily dodged, grinning evilly as the struggled to compose herself.

"H-he's….uh…."

"If I didn't know better…I'd think Sasuke has some competition…"

I laughed loudly at the horror that flitted across the young woman's face, and I darted into my room before she could pummel me to a pulp. Hana was incredibly strong…stronger than even Sasuke, I think. This was just plain odd, seeing as she was this little petite thing, comparable to a china doll.

I grabbed a lightweight jacket that hung over the chair, and slipped it on while grabbing Sasuke's scarf – it was in the far recesses of his cabinet…I doubt he even knew it existed – and wrapped it around my neck a few times before heading out once more. Hana was gone; I assumed she was getting her own warm clothing from wherever she stayed.

I smiled, and decided to let my hair out of its bun once I got outside, seeing as Sasuke hadn't told me that we would be training, and I just wanted to be free of restrictions for once. I hadn't had any fun in a long time…so screw what Sasuke wants and lets just indulge Hikari for once.

And Lily too.

I had begun to think of myself as two separate people. Hikari was the ninja; strong, merciless and risky. Lily was myself before all of this; confidant, compassionate, playful. I was Hikari most of the time, but I had to remind myself to let some of Lily shine though the ninja exterior.

Lily and Hikari were slowly blending together though, and I couldn't stop the Hikari part of myself forcibly meshing with the Lily of the past.

Would I soon forget my name? Would I be forever known as Hikari, or would I….someday, be able to tell someone my real name?

I didn't know.

The air brought me to my senses as I stepped out into the brisk winter morning, and I untied my hair and let it fall down my shoulders and back. I leaned my head back, and let some of the falling snowflakes fall onto my tongue, smiling widely while spinning in a slow circle.

I walked towards the trees that were covered in snow, feeling the snowflakes fall into my hair as I went. The bark was black and cold, and I lifted my bare fingers to run them along the smooth and icy surface. I looked up at the twisting branches, seeing small creatures sliding along them, fat little chipmunks that were chattering down at me for touching their tree. I laughed, and stepped away from the trunk, watching their furry bodies disappear into their niches somewhere in the solid trunk.

I heard a sound to my left, and turned to try and identify it, and saw a flash of white but nothing more. I frowned. Had it been a rabbit? Oh well.

"Hikari?"

I glanced back to see Hana standing there, her eyes wide with surprise. I turned to frown at her.

"What?"

"Your…hair…it's so pretty!" I flushed as she ran over, her emerald eyes alight and her cheeks rosy in the icy air. "It's so wavy and long…one of my friends would be so jealous right now if she saw this. She has blonde hair too, but its straight, and though its really pretty…it's not as pretty as your waves."

I smiled, and quickly changed the subject. "I never had any snow where I'm from…so how do you make a snowman?"

Hana gaped, aghast. "You've never made a snowman? Oh my dear Lord, you poor soul!" I laughed at her expression as she tugged me over to a snowdrift with several feet of snow.

For the next hour, Hana and I struggled to roll the balls that would make up the snowman's body. It was surprisingly difficult, and I was breathing hard by the time we were done.

"Jeez…that was hard…"

Hana was gasping for breath, and grinned. "Yeah…we probably should have made him a bit smaller. But whatever…it looks good."

Our snowman was at least ten feet tall, and I stood back to admire him with a smile.

"I don't think we have any carrots or buttons…"

"Carrots?" Hana snorted, and pulled out a kunai. "Why be a sissy when you can use kunai and shuriken instead?"

I laughed, and Hana and I quickly placed shuriken for eyes and a sharp kunai for the nose. I used some pebbles for the mouth: shaped into a freakishly wide smile that made me smirk and made Hana raise an eyebrow in silent question of my sanity.

It was funny…in that moment; the two of us were no longer ninja who were struggling to survive in this hellhole of a base. Hana was still annoying, but in more of a bearable way, because neither of us were very pressured and I had more patience to deal with her. In that moment, we were just teenagers, and if I closed my eyes, I could see it all playing out before me. That's right…we just got home from a stressful day of drama-packed high school. The snow was bright and tempting outside the window, and after chugging some hot cocoa the two of us of rushed outside, our mittens and scarves hastily thrown on. The sky was pale and dusted with clouds that stretched across like swaths of silver silk…the snow powdery soft and malleable, and Hana's black hair was strikingly vibrant against the pale whiteness of everything.

But then I saw Sasuke standing beside the nearest tree, his dark eyes staring at me with their chilling intensity, and the peaceful vision was shattered.

I let out a breath, and Hana's green eyes were painfully irritating once more with their surprise and longing as they noticed Sasuke leaning against the tree, carelessly handsome. Of course, he was also carelessly arrogant, cold-hearted, and power-hungry. But even I couldn't deny that he was definitely carelessly handsome…

Sasuke was still staring at me, his lips pale pink and yet so at one with the icy snow around him, his skin even more so. He was just as cold…just as heartless as the snow. Layers upon layers of bitter ice and unfeeling numbness forever concealed whatever warmth was in his heart, and the thought made my unbearably sad.

But wait…that didn't made sense.

If his heart was so warped by that coldness, then why did I sometimes catch glimpses of kindness?

I sighed, and glanced at the snowman for a moment before murmuring a soft goodbye to Hana, moving past her towards my teacher. Hana's eyes were sad, and she bit her lip as she reached out as if to touch my arm, but let her hand drop to her side after a moment's hesitation.

I flinched as a gust of wind blew against my skin and my exposed legs. I quickly pulled my hair into a tight bun, pushing aside those visions of school and warm hot cocoa as I reached the brooding Uchiha.

His eyes lazily drifted over my shoulder to where Hana was standing, staring after us. His brow was furrowed in a slight frown, his lips turning downward in a scowl. I sighed, and moved past him, towards the training grounds.

"Don't tell me you're going nuts for her too…I don't think I could stand it if I had to associate myself with another besotted idiot…"

Sasuke scowled even more deeply, shooting me a deathly glare. I smirked at him, and leaned against the cold bark as Hana turned to head back inside the base. Her hair – just above shoulder length, in choppy layers – blew behind her as another gust of wind sent the snow whirling into tiny tornados around the field.

Sasuke watched her go, and his eyes flickered towards the bare cherry tree in the center of the field, and his black eyes widened slightly as something clicked in his mind.

"Sasuke-sensei…what's up?"

"I…her…"

Okay, something was definitely up, if Sasuke of all people was having trouble articulating.

I walked so I was in front of him, and waited until he met my eyes.

"Okay, buster, spill it. What are you going crazy about?"

Sasuke's eyes flickered towards the cherry tree once more, and his eyes were thoughtful as he stared at me.

"How much do you know about her?"

I blinked. "Hana?" He nodded curtly, his eyes watching my face carefully. "Well…you probably know this already, but most of the time's she's a pain in the ass to be around because of her infatuation with you."

"…"

His glare made me laugh nervously. "Okay, okay, calm down. She works in the medical field; she's quite good, actually. I've sparred with her a few times…she's really, really strong. I think I still have bruises from her last punch, though she offered to heal it. I guess I was too embarrassed to let her help me…shows how smart I am…"

I lifted my shirt a bit to show the boy the large purple bruise that was a large blot on the side of my ribcage, and his onyx eyes narrowed at the sight.

"Hana also…" I quickly shut my mouth, but Sasuke sensed my hurried silence with a snarl.

"What else do you know?" His eyes went scarlet, with dark commas swirling in their depths. I was startled into blurting out Hana's greatest secret, and was ashamed of my betrayal as I spoke.

"She…um…talked about how her real name isn't Hana. She seems so sad when she looks at you, as if trying to get the courage to say something. Her eyes…they never leave you, they are so…familiar…as if she's known you your entire life and is just waiting for you to remember. I've also had dreams, dreams about a girl that has the exact same color eyes as she does."

Sasuke's eyes widened, the Sharingan fading from them in shock. "Dreams?"

"Yeah…and she had pink hair. She was talking to a boy…she was leaving on some undercover mission to find someone–"

Sasuke's hand was suddenly tight on my throat, and I was lifted into the air, my back slamming against the tree. I choked, taken by surprise by his sudden attack, and struggled to remove his hand, gasping.

I tried to speak, but his fingers only tightened around my throat.

Those black eyes were furious, and I realized with a jolt that they held the same anger as they had on that same day when I talked about him abandoning people close to him.

Those sad, desolate eyes that were filled with something beyond my comprehension.

I felt my vision going fuzzy, and blinked rapidly to try and stay awake. "S-Sasuke, stop!" I choked out, feeling a dizzy numbness spreading through my mind, tingling through my fingers and legs.

At the sound of my voice, Sasuke seemed to come to himself again, and quickly released me. I fell limply to the ground, and something hard and solid collided with my head.

The last thing I felt was the coldness of the snow around me, pulling me deeper, suffocating me. Then everything went black.

Sasuke stared at the unconscious girl before him, and quickly knelt down.

The anger was slowly pulsing away, and he realized that in that moment when his fingers were around the girl's throat…she had become Sakura to him. Her eyes had that same emerald shade, her hair was that vivid color of pink that both endeared him and annoyed him.

But this was not Sakura.

A few long blonde strands had come free of the bun, and were strewn around her cheeks, golden and shining against the pale snow around her. Those eyes…they were blue-gray, like a shallow pool with gray slate at the bottom. Not even close to green, not even close…

Sasuke sighed, and let his hand gently touch those golden strands, his eyes staring at the girl without seeing.

Sakura was here. In the base.

The thought made Sasuke want to burn every tree in the yard to the ground, something to vent his anger. Why couldn't the two of them just leave him alone? Why couldn't they be just a bit more selfish, and think about themselves rather than imagine that they knew what he wanted.

If anyone knew what he wanted – truly and without a doubt – it would have to be Hikari.

Saying her name to himself made his breath come easier, and he realized with a scowl that it had been her voice that brought him back to reality.

The Uchiha slowly retracted his hand, and slipped his arms under her form and lifted her up, something twisting his gut at the groan that escaped her lips as her eyelids fluttered.

Hikari.

Saying her name relieved the anger even more, and he began to walk towards the entrance of the base. She opened her eyes, and those piercing blue-gray eyes stared unblinkingly at him.

"I'm sorry…for making you carry me. Let me down, I'll walk." Hikari growled, her eyes closing in pain for a moment before she squirmed to be let down. Sasuke hesitated, and quickly set her on her feet, watching as she took a few unsteady steps before swaying. He caught her before she fell, and she scowled.

"Dammit! Why the hell did you have to nearly choke me to death, anyway?"

Sasuke sighed, and didn't answer, instead walking towards his room, not waiting for her to follow. He wanted to rid himself of these guilty flickers of emotion that roiled in his chest at her words, and something caught his eye.

Her emerald eyes bored into him as he stood there, and something fiery boiled in his blood as her brow creased in worry at the sight of Hikari.

Sakura Haruno.

How had she gotten under his guard? How had she tricked him, even Orochimaru?

Why couldn't she just go be annoying somewhere else?

Sasuke glared at her, and let his Sharingan eyes frighten her for a few moments before icily moving past her, his mouth turned down in a snarl.

The frightening thing was that at one point in the first few years at Sound, Sasuke had almost missed his pink-haired teammate. She was everything that was innocent and pure to him, and Naruto was all that was good. He had…almost….loved her, in his own way.

But now that she was actually here, the memory that had conveniently failed him before now reminded him of how persistently annoying she could be, and how she could never understand why he had to leave Konoha.

No one could ever understand.

Sasuke glanced back, and found that Hikari was staring after him, ignoring Sakura's worried words and frantic movements.

There was no resentment in that gaze – surprising, seeing as she had just snapped at him for nearly choking her to death – instead only curious patience.

He quickly turned down a different hallway, eager to escape that gaze and yet missing its calm acceptance the moment it disappeared.

Orochimaru's throne room was only a few moments away…he must have a few missions that were open. Long term ones, which was what Sasuke was hoping for.

Hikari's face flashed before his eyes once more, and he made a mental note to bring her along.

Not because he particularly enjoyed her company…but because he felt almost possessive of his student that had no knowledge of his past and what he had done to his former friends to attain this power. She was a clean slate for him, and he knew that if Sakura was allowed to continue associating herself with him, Hikari would be ruined by her.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and he pushed open the door to the throne room, letting the heavy wood fall behind him to close with a soft click.