What? An update? When did I find the time to do that? Honestly, folks, I have no idea. I had the majority of this written awhile ago, but only recently decided that it was post-worthy, and have now satisfied my OCD and proved that I am still alive and writing - it's just taking longer than it used to for the ideas and R/D love to flow from my fingertips (I'm just totally out of practice).

Hope you enjoy it. I am having so much fun finding those awkward cliffhangers that you all hate me for. But if you don't like them, know that soon I probably will run out of ideas and there will be boring, regular chapter breaks...

WARNINGS: Hermione cometh.

Ron couldn't believe his rotten luck. Clearly, Draco Malfoy was a recipe for disaster since nothing normal had happened once Ron had let himself get within twenty feet of the bloke.

And what was the git doing now? Smirking up at Ron in amusement and stroking his sticky stomach slowly and sensually as if it was an invitation.

Ron felt his neck flair up in heat and threw the towels on top of Malfoy clumsily, "Thought you might need some towels for the shower. Make sure you clean up after."

It seemed as if Malfoy almost pouted as Ron slammed the door and stalked away, trying to hide his current state of embarrassment.

Ron ran into the kitchen and angrily started cleaning up the pans that he had used to make Malfoy breakfast, "Honestly, I let him sleep in my bed, I make him breakfast, and I let him use my shower, and he repays me by jacking off in the loo? I knew I never should have brought him home."

Draco's aroused body flashed before his eyes again and Ron dropped a plate as if burned.

"S-Stupid prat…perverted exhibitionist…" Ron grunted as he drew out his wand and repaired the dish.

Finally he sighed and put the dishes away. He decided Draco Malfoy was only a small catastrophe. In an hour tops he would disappear from Ron's life again – and this time hopefully forever.

"Thank Merlin," Ron sighed again and turned around to see Draco Malfoy - wearing only a towel - leaning against the door.

"For what? Being one of the few to see my beautiful body naked?"

Ron swallowed and stuttered, "From what I could tell, it doesn't take that much right? Just buy you some drinks and you're drooling."

Clearly that was not what the blonde had been expecting, but he rebounded quickly, "Only the best get to buy me drinks, Weasley. Idiots like you would never stand a chance."

Ron grated his teeth and ignored the blood pounding in his ears, stepping closer until he was looming over the small Slytherin, "Oh? So you only sell out to the higher clientele?"

Draco's eyes flashed but were unable to hide his realization that Ron was physically much bigger than him, "I do not 'sell out'. I allow them to witness perfection."

Ron raised a brow, "Which is why that man last night just left you in that bathroom after he was done with you."

"I don't like it when they stay. Usually it means they want love or money, things that I won't offer them."

"But apparently, you want to stay here. You've been awake for nearly an hour and you're not even dressed."

"That's because I haven't gotten what I want yet." Draco reached out and stroked Ron's chest gently, looking up at Ron with big grey eyes.

Ron shoved Draco's hand away, "Well, it just so happens I only allow one person to "witness perfection", and you're not her."

Draco, not put off at all by the rejection, scanned Ron's body appreciatively and stepped even closer, until they were nose to nose, and smirked, "Every man wants to do me, in some way. Even you."

Ron's eyes narrowed, his anger rising up, he clenched his fists, keeping himself from beating the stupid git, "Not a chance of that, Malfoy."

"Really? Then why are you completely hard?" With that, Draco reached out and grabbed Ron's crotch firmly with one hand.

Ron gasped in disbelief, "That's –"

"What? Just proving me right?" Malfoy smiled triumphantly and leaned forward, and all Ron could do was watch in disbelief as Draco Malfoy made to kiss him.

They were both interrupted by the doorbell. Ron, thanking the gods for their mercy, ducked away from his aggressive guest and ran to the door, forgetting his major erection.

As he swung open the door, his feelings of relief changed to dread as Hermione's face greeted him.

"Oh, you're awake then?" She asked, surprised that Ron was shaven before noon on a Sunday.

"Yeah I've been up for awhile."

Hermione nodded, and then her eyes caught on his crotch and she grinned, "Up in more ways than one, I see?" She stepped closer and kissed him gently, "I think there's something I can do to fix that..." She pushed him further inside and shut the door behind them.

"Wait, Hermione –"

And that was the precise moment that Malfoy decided he had had enough waiting and walked out of the kitchen butt-naked and stroking himself.

!HOMGZ WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

PLEASE throw your comments, tomatoes, and general-relief-for-me-still-being-alive my way...nothing is a greater inspiration than knowing that somewhere out there people are waiting to read the next chapter just because they liked the last one so much.

...Not nearly long enough, I know, but I couldn't resist the perfect cliffie.