disclaimer: What I wrote in the other chapters. I hate the fact that I don't own Naruto.
Another bunch of reviews. Happy to get some critiscism, and even a rant.
Elemental Dragon Swordman: As I am evil, you will have to wait to see how that goes.
Fuyuriku:I enjoyed your rant, as I don't feel that it affects me all that much. I'm so happy that I stayed away from nosebleeds. (No, I'm not talking about my- whoops, eh hehe.)
Demonkid: Oh, I don't know, it's not that much shorter than the once before. Still, everyone should thank Demonkid for a slightly longer chapter. I suppose they will keep growing.
Dragonjek: The drama isn't over, and there will be more of it as the seven days (slowly) moves on.
Dmygo: Thank you, and the juicy stuff can be found in so many other places than here, and in much better writing. (My keyboard can't handle the nosebleeds).
:Glad you like it, and yes, Terry Pratchett is one of my absolute favorites among all authors.
More comments might be found at the bottom (or can they?). Enjoy
Relationships are too troublesome
Sunday, the Nara clan compound
Shikamaru leaned forward, carefully observing the battlefield. The enemy looked to be in a position of strength, but his trap had been set, and the enemy commander hadn't spotted it in time. With the face of a veteran winner, he moved the last shogi piece and ended the game. "Tsumu." He said, only a hint of satisfaction evident. The fact that it was his fourth win in a row that day alone was, perhaps, icing on the cake. But then again, he did like icing.
His opponent took the loss gracefully. For being Lee that is. "Ohh! That was a brilliant and sneaky move Shikamaru-san! I feel the need to improve myself further! Let us run two hundred laps around the village to improve ourselves and our youthfulness!" The walking fashion crime that was Rock Lee was standing up, fists raised to chest height and enthusiasm evident all over. Shikamaru briefly wondered how anyone with barely existent chakra coils could somehow produce what looked like flames in their eyes. Then he remembered that Lee probably expected an answer, and that if he waited too long he'd be dragged off by the taijutsu specialist and forced to do something troublesome.
"Tch, too troublesome. I won after all, why would I bother with that?" Having finished the troublesome task of replying, Shikamaru lay back until he was resting on the floor. The early morning had not yet gotten the oppressive heat that would be arriving later, and right now he could enjoy the few clouds that were crossing the sky at their own, leisurely pace. He envied them their freedom. He'd soon have to get to work. It was troublesome, but having the Hokage threaten him with debriefing/comforting female ANBU was even more so. Why she kept holding that particular threat over him, he'd never understand.
At least the Games & Theory section of ANBU could be a bit challenging.
He had been surprised when Tsunade had him placed in the ANBU tactical planning department, but he quickly came to see how he belonged there. He'd never admit it to anyone, but secretly he'd started to enjoy it. It reminded him of shogi and a whole bunch of other games. Poker, for example, was all about gathering information and calculating risks. He usually made it to the final table at their internal tournament, but seldom lasted long. It was almost motivational to meet people who could actually outthink him.
Almost being a keyword of course. He did have a reputation to uphold. Not that he couldn't be lazy, but the protection granted by seeming to be a harmless slacker had made his life safer and a few enemies easier to deal with. Three times, it had let him kill. He blinked and tried to veer his mind away from that troublesome subject.
"Ohh! I wish that Naruto-kun was back. He was a most youthful sparring partner." The green-clad young shinobi had not really shifted his position, but now anyone looking could almost imagine that the (possible) flames had changed into stars, as the over strung Lee took a trip down memory lane. If his so far unreturned infatuation for Sakura wasn't common knowledge, Shikamaru might have wondered if Lee was only missing Naruto as a training partner. Thankfully, that disturbing idea could be safely tucked into the dark recess whence it came from.
"Didn't you know that Naruto is back?" Shikamaru asked offhandedly, knowing that this might well be the quickest and most diplomatic way to make his sort-of, more-or-less disciple decide to leave.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out Lee's reaction, withholding the information until it could be used properly did. Lee's reaction once again confirmed why they had been able to finish four shogi matches in just over twenty minutes.
"WHAT! I have heard nothing of the sort! I'm must immediately find him and challenge my old rival to a match! If I cannot find him today, I shall carry a rock up and down the Hokage monument one hundred times. And if I fail-"
"You're losing daylight, troublesome person." Shikamaru interrupted, knowing exactly how important it was to head Lee off early.
"Ah, indeed! Thank you Shikamaru-san, I shall see you later then. I'm coming, Naruto-kun!" With that, Lee sprinted off to search for his unsuspecting old friend. Shikamaru sighed. He'd have to move soon, and one of his favorite spots, a bench outside the front door of his family's house, had a perfect blend of heat and shade. Knowing that Tsunade would hear about it if he tried slacking, and figuring that he'd rather not find a girlfriend among the semi-psychotic female members of ANBU, he only stayed a few more minutes before getting up and setting of for ANBU HQ.
Walking through the village, Shikamaru barely noticed the crowded streets and busy stores. Konoha's economy had picked up after the invasion of Oto and Suna, and although they had pretty much had to work overtime for a year, the village as a whole had prospered. An early proposal from him about intensifying and updating the methods of the academy, coupled with Tsunade's decision to increase the number of medics, had slowly filled the ranks. They were still under strength numerically in relation to the number of civilians, but that was offset by decreased deaths and crippling injuries. As a bonus, the decreased casualty rate also led to a slow increase in the number of higher ranked ninja.
"Hmm, wonder what'll be discussed today. Thank Kami for Sunday half days." Sundays, were usually for planning and preparing for the coming week, as well as for forced R&R. Some shinobi were zealous enough to not take breaks when needed.
"Ohayo Shikamaru-kun!" The shouted greeting came from just behind him.
"Gah! Damn it, don't scare me like that Chiyo." He answered the brunette, a feeling of unease building in the pit of his stomach.
"And why not, you're so cute when you look scared. Won't you come by my apartment again soon? I can scare you out of your clothes and wits, and then I'll comfort you when you break down." That Chiyo was smiling the whole time didn't make Shikamaru feel one bit less uncomfortable. Sure she was easy on the eye, ANBU operatives tended to keep fit. But she was also one of the weirder ones. She and Anko had a lot in common, being deadly and sexy at the same time among the less noticeable.
"No thanks. Besides, the last time you drugged me, tied me up and dragged me there. If Yamato hadn't shown up, I'd have gotten you locked up for that."
"Aww, and I had this cute little outfit made for you."
"Sorry, I don't look good in leather. Or handcuffs."
"Mou, you're just no fun when you're able to run away."
"Bite me."
"Where and when?"
"Never mind. Anything new otherwise?"
"He he, I had a good time guarding the jinchuuriki." At that, Shikamaru stopped and glared at her.
"He has a name, Yamato-san. Don't forget that." Then he started walking again.
"Right. Sorry, we try not to say it in the open, just in case, you know. Anyway, he and his date made a real scene at his place last night."
"How troublesome. What happened?"
"Well, Tenten seemed to be doing, well, you know how she's been since Neji was forced to marry, right?"
"Oh, yeah. She actually went after me once. If Ino hadn't practiced on me I might have fallen for it as well."
"Well, she was trying to play with Naruto too, and the idiot went and got all serious, telling her about, you know, it. I'm not sure what she thought about it, but she just walked away." Chiyo grinned. "I almost jumped down there to console him myself. He looked so downhearted. Then she came back earlier this morning. Guess what happened?"
"She tried to kill him?"
"I thought so too, but-"
Earlier that morning, Naruto's onsen
Schick!
Naruto's eyes popped open, a burning pain spreading across his throat. Looking up, Tenten was grinning at him, something in her smile worrying him.
"Not good enough, Naruto-kun." She had her hands on his forearms, he hadn't even noticed it before, and now she was holding him down, practically defenseless. Something wet was inching down along his neck. "Killing you isn't much of a challenge you know."
"!" He tried, finding himself unable to speak. "What the hell?!"
"Oh, and I put a paralyzing agent on the blade, you won't be able to talk for a little while." Then she bent over and kissed him again. "Mmm, this is awful, you know. First, I just wanted to hurt you, then I thought you were lying to get rid of me, so I wanted to kill you, but you would have stopped me. Now, when I have a real chance to kill you, with a good reason to boot, I can't." Her eyes got softer. "You're just too sweet to kill, and if I decide I want you, I want it to be for real. And I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet."
The burning pain came back, as she quickly scratched his arms. Then she covered her breasts with one arm, almost as an afterthought, before turning around, marking his legs as well. Then she turned back, and if he'd been worried before, he was terrified with the face she made at him. "My mother got killed by the Kyuubi, and your sweet, infuriating attempt at chivalry ruined my fun last night. This time, I'm gonna ruin it for you. You just lay there and relax while I play with you for a bit, and when you're certain you'll die if I don't give you release, I'll leave." The grin was very nearly a snarl.
"So, let me show you just how it is that pain can be pleasure and pleasure can be pain."
Now, outside ANBU HQ
"Then she did exactly what she promised, although she left soon after when he got his voice back. Guess she didn't count on him working through the poison that fast." She said, something primeval in her voice.
"Bet you enjoyed the show. And that it's why you came looking for me." Shikamaru replied as he entered the building after her.
"Oh, you're so clever Shikamaru-kun. So, can I expect you at my place later then?"
"Will you refrain from the whole tying-up-and-whipping-my-partner-thing you've got going?"
"Nope!"
"Ditto, then. Now, I think I've gotta go to work, and seeing as how you're not allowed beyond that door, I expect you'll have to find someone else to play with."
"Coward." She snapped at him, a pout adorning her face.
"Thanks, see ya." With that he turned his back and went through the unmarked door, his identity checked by the guard on the other side.
Heading down the slightly run-down corridor, he entered his office, casually catching and returning a kunai tossed at him by one of his coworkers. "Ohayo Akira, been outside this week yet?"
"Ohayo Shikamaru. I did take an hour long walk during the afternoon three days ago. A total of eight ANBU had me watched the whole time, so I think I'll do it twice next week." Akira was a genius, in his own way. The problem was that it was hard to read him. Aburames often were, of course, but Akira coupled their usual anti social behavior with a bewildering way of using logic and half sentences to leave most people dumbfounded as to what he really meant. The fact that he could make you believe he thought it was raining on a day like today didn't sit well with many of his superiors, who therefore had him watched closely at all times. Unless he was at the HQ.
"So all the ANBU were women?"
"No, not all of them, but those that weren't ordered to check me were. I haven't slept in my own bed since, and I estimate I won't have to for another two nights. Very entertaining." Shikamaru had for some reason become a good friend of the eccentric genius, finding that they had many things in common. Akira was a few years older, and was almost obsessed with misleading everyone around him. Shikamaru hadn't ruled out that he was also being wound up somehow, but didn't care much. The Aburame were generally considered to be the most stable and loyal clan in Konoha, as their bugs and fanatic devotion to logic tended to quickly expose any treasonous tendencies. It was amazing what the possibility of being eaten from the inside out could do for morale.
"You mean one of them have a fetish for bugs, and decided to use you to blow off steam. And she's heading out on another mission in a few days." Akira generally never told you the truth as you thought you heard it, but seldom lied outright either.
"Actually, she wanted to hear about their mating procedure. The idea of several males servicing one queen seemed to intrigue her. And excite her as well. Score." Oh yeah, if you dared to fence with him a bit, you'd usually notice that he could be quite entertaining. Saying 'score' in that monotone, low key baritone certainly was enough to make Shikamaru smile a bit. The fact that Akira had once referred to Shino as the comedian of the clan had led Shikamaru to start a hobby project of his own, something to whittle away on during his hour long cloud watching sessions. He knew it had a low probability of success, but he needed something to tell himself that he might have a long life yet.
Now, he had to work. Finding out how to make an Aburame laugh could wait.
"Has team Neji returned yet?"
"No, it seems to be as projected, Iwa most likely had an inbuilt failsafe, and they may have suffered a casualty, although the plan doesn't include a fatality or crippling injury."
"At least Neji knows to keep the medic off the front line. ETA?
"Logistics says another two days, but they never could appreciate the genius factor. I'd say this afternoon. We can probably send the team out in another week if they have an injury, three days if the Hyuuga did his magic and they got out scot free."
"Okay, let's go over the talon series again before the collaboration meeting. I don't want that Danzo bastard to get so much as a word in edgewise about our planning."
"Your planning, you mean. I'm just an idiot savant."
"And I'm too lazy to do any work, think we can push the glory on the doorman?"
"He's got a family, don't want to make more orphans if we don't have to."
"Right, guess I'll have to take a mission this week then. Think I can sneak off to Suna again?
"Probably, you can do the third stage of Red Talon when you're at it."
"I suppose. What do we know about Akatsuki's movements?"
"No news since yesterday. I think we can expect them to head for Suna soon. If you can find an excuse good enough I'd say that the last phase of Red can be done there as well. Gaara won't need all that much support if we give you a few air brawlers." Akira probably gave him a look, although it was hard to tell through the sunglasses. "Just be careful not to show off your skills before they come. Naruto spending a month there probably threw their time table a bit, and they'll be putting a lot of resources on making the capture a success. You tip your hand, get noticed, and they'll strike at you first."
"Divination still doesn't have any clue as to what they want the jinchuuriki for?" Shikamaru replied, concern absent from his voice and face.
"Nope, they are even more clueless than us. The idea that they want the demonic containers for anything is just a theory to those idiots."
"Man, I hate not having that information. So, how far along are we on Black and Blue?"
"Black is pretty much done, Blue is impossible until we know the location of the jinchuuriki. He's gone off the grid. No one knows anything."
"Hmm, I think I'll ask for one of the ex-Bamboo teams for Red. I need to know more about their skills. If they're anything like I suspect, I'll want them for the entire Black series."
Akira gazed at him for a bit before responding. "Your funeral, I wouldn't want one of those women getting all hung up on me for all the dango in Konoha. They're fucking crazy you know."
Shikamaru shrugged. "Can't be worse than Chiyo. 'Sides, I reckon all women are a bit crazy. Especially the kunoichi." He looked at the wall clock. "Let's go and try to mess up Danzo's day, shall we?"
"Ain't gonna live forever anyway."
They headed out, passing the bored looking guard at the door. On the way to the conference room, Shikamaru stopped and checked if Neji was logged as having returned, but was disappointed. It was always hard, having one of his old friends out on a mission he'd planned, never knowing if he'd missed something vital.
As they headed into the large room, he sealed away his worry. Neji just had to do the best he could.
Meanwhile, the village of Kusagakure
"Oi, cap'n, we heading out anytime soon? I wanna catch the Sunday special." Neji ignored his teammate and looked at his chrono. It'd take about six hours to get back to Konoha from here, and he wanted to get the secondary objective if at all possible. And delay his return. Just because he'd married a beautiful woman didn't mean that he was in love, and he was trying to buy himself time to get to grips with the way his life had changed.
"Oi, Kiba, shut it. The target will be out soon if our info is correct. Focus." That was from Chouji, an Akamichi with more brains than many dared credit him for.
"Now now Chouji, you know that the dickless people always have to complain." That was Sai talking. Just Sai apparently. He was one of the weirdest shinobi Neji had ever worked with, and his old team had been led by Might Guy and his almost-clone Rock Lee. Neji knew more about weird than any three ninja should have to know.
Then their target was moving, stepping out into the street and looking pleased with himself. A low grade genin, he'd gotten away because the only thing he had going for him was a damn fine henge and that the village hidden in the Waterfall was too small for a dedicated hunternin cadre. He would bring in a decent bounty however, and since Neji could see through his camouflage, the orders included a capture order to be pursued at the team leader's discretion. Neji guessed that Shikamaru had something to do with it.
"Let's catch that traitor alive. I need a good workout." With that, Neji disappeared up onto a roof, Chouji walked into the teashop, Sai started walking after the genin and Kiba remained seated, just in case.
The genin seemed to feel safe, walking around relatively carelessly. The two years of not being hunted, as he would have been if he came from one of the larger villages, had apparently dulled his edge. If Neji didn't know that he had actually been kept busy with low level jobs, he might have underestimated the harmless looking teen. As it was, he almost missed the scrawny girl that almost randomly started following their target. Friend or foe or both? He wasn't certain, but she would have to show her colors soon. The target was almost at the alley he usually took as a shortcut home.
Now was the moment of truth. The target turned left and headed down the alley and the girl didn't disappoint, going into and most likely through a textile shop on the same side. What she wanted was still unknown, but he would be damned if he lost the target to a single kunoichi.
"Wait, she is alone? Something is wrong."
Not wanting to take any chances, he keyed his wireless. "Chouji, girl coming through a shop on your side, probable nin, status unknown. Acknowledge." Two bursts of static told him that the message was received. He saw an old beggar turn into the alley as well. The beggar had slept outside their target's apartment every night that they had been scouting their objective.
With Chouji forewarned he started to move, activating his Byakugan and letting a very, very low amount of presence slip out. The genin sensed it, masking his reaction almost perfectly, but the Byakugan didn't forgive imperfection. He landed behind the old beggar, making the target look behind him before dashing for the safety of his hideout. Pushing the old man roughly to the side, he followed quickly, trying to close the distance before the genin slipped into the relative safety of his home.
However, he apparently wasn't fast enough, and the objective slipped through the door, doubtlessly activating all manner of interesting traps and seals. "And here is where the trap outside activates". He thought turning and barely dodging a barrage of shuriken. The man responsible had an arrogant smile, a jutsu already on the way.
Then he was down from a heavy hit to the neck, the beggar releasing his henge and turning back to Sai. Neji thanked Kami that he'd managed to convince the ex-spy that killing enemies was not preferable to interrogating them. The man was most likely not a real shinobi, but making sure was for later. From inside the house came a shout, and a short bark. The target was being secured by Akamaru and one of Sai's creations. Now the question was what Chouji and Kiba would bring in. So far the plan was going pretty much according to plan. This usually meant that something horrible was going to happen.
"Neji, Chouji here. Target captured, heading to rendezvous point three." He blipped his mic twice.
"Neji, Kiba here. Have taken two captives. Also heading to rendezvous three." He blipped twice again, then went to the door. It had the expected traps set, but the genin obviously wasn't any kind of expert. Anyone that had tried to sneak up on Uzumaki would scoff at this.
A few minutes later, he was carrying the objective out, while Akamaru had two small children on his back. Apparently the piece of shit had dipped his hand into the slave trade, apart from working as a small time thief and hit man. Disgusting as it was, he was content to have managed to secure a few documents, which might lead to a few more rescues at a later date.
"Sai, bring him. Let's join up with the others and go home." Sai simply nodded, a look as close to anger as was ever possible evident on his face. Sai really didn't like those that traded in people, and those who shipped children were on the top of his private torture-with-extreme-prejudice-list.
They left through the back streets and alleys of the village, not wanting to explain why they were carrying a number of presumed Grass citizens. After a few minutes they were all gathered at the rendezvous point.
"Any difficulties? Chouji?"
"Nah, I had to watch it so I didn't hurt her too badly though. She's really thin." Chouji was slated to be a jounin instructor the day he was deemed ready. He still had the girth and appetites of the Akamichi, but it had been tempered by his maturing. Now his abilities with understanding people and judging character was emerging, and if he survived the next year or so, he'd soon have his own genins to nurture.
"These two probably have a connection to Chouji's girl; they suddenly went hell for leather trying to get to that house. Thankfully that made them careless, so I got them easily." Kiba was known for not wanting to be rough towards girls, which probably had to do with his upbringing in a family dominated by quite fierce women and b-err, female dogs. He was also being considered for the Tracking & Recovery section of ANBU, his morals making him unsuited for the often grisly task of the hunternins, but probably perfect for search and rescue missions.
"The plan worked well. I am happy that Nara-san is not as retarded as he looks." Sai was a mystery to the others. Even Neji hadn't been briefed on his origins. He was apparently as close to a total sociopath as was possible, without having the urge to mass murder people for breathing out of rhythm. They had also discovered that he was, slowly, trying to learn how to act towards and around other human beings. Apparently, the shutting down of ROOT had turned up all sorts of nasty surprises, and Sai had been one of those better off. Neji didn't want to imagine those that were bad cases. Too bad they couldn't off the leader, but Danzo had a lot of protection.
"Good, then let's move. I want to get that waste of breathable air off my hands as soon as possible." He looked at Sai. "I'm sure Ibiki will be happy to have an assistant for the interrogation, if you feel up to it."
"I shall consider it, freaky-eyes." Neji only nodded at the reply, having heard a lot worse during the mission. Then he turned and headed off, leading the way towards Konoha, and home.
Later, Naruto's home
"Damn it, Akane-chan, will you stop laughing! It wasn't at all funny, and I don't consider torture a good way to start a relationship!" Naruto was sulking again. He knew it, but couldn't help it. "I haven't been that scared since Sakura found out about the harem no jutsu! She was smiling the whole bloody time!"
Managing to uncurl from the ball of laughing hysterics she'd been reduced into, Akane slowly got up, a hand on the kitchen table helping her keep her footing and the other wiping her eyes. "I have to thank the girl later. That was an excellent lesson on why you shouldn't let your guard down at any time. And you fell for it like a newly graduated genin too!"
"Go suck a blade! Do you know how it felt to finally tell someone from the village my secret and have her just walk away, not saying a word. And then, when she comes back and says she's sorry, I end up as an anatomical test doll!" At that Akane slumped again, laughter peeling out and fists drumming on the table. Naruto gave her a disgusted look. "I'm gonna go pray to Kami for a trade in, my new best friend is malfunctioning."
"Fine, how'd you like a big sister instead?" She said without thinking. When he didn't make a snappy comeback, she looked over at him, then felt the urge to swallow and looked away again. "Damn brat doesn't even know he's doing it, this week will be interesting."
Some people referred to showing one's feelings as 'wearing his/her heart on his/her sleeve'. Currently, Akane figured Naruto would need arms the length of a full grown gorilla to fit them all there. Sure, Gaara had sort of taken him in, but that was jinchuuriki to jinchuuriki. She'd just made the mistake of openly offering him that which not even Tsunade had dared yet. Cursing her tongue, she forced herself to say something.
"D-don't think of it as a favor. I'm already wasting time trying to teach you how to behave among civilized people. I just figured I'd get some of the perks from it." Once she had done a quick rerun of that sentence she slapped herself mentally. "Oh, way to get past an awkward moment idiot."
"You mean it?" Naruto's voice was low and thick with emotion. There was both hope and disbelief, as if he was already shielding himself from rejection. Akane had to force herself not to retreat into a mental rant about the people who had built in those instincts in a little boy all those years ago.
Taking a deep breath, she looked him in the eye. "Kami, a guy shouldn't be allowed to have eyes like that. The girls will need to be separated by ANBU when the fighting starts. Naruto. I know I can be a bit of a pain sometimes, but unless you'd prefer not to, I'd be proud to call myself your sister." Then she smiled. "Of course, I can't stick around here for very much longer, but whenever you pass by Suna there'll be a room and a cup of tea for you." Now it was her turn to be vulnerable. "What about you, would you mind if-"And then she was being hugged like she'd never been before.
She made a mental note to have a serious talk with Tenten. Naruto might be tough, but that didn't mean he was indestructible. She had hopes for some of the other girls as well, but if Tenten could be convinced to watch his back for him, that'd be a good start. And then-
"Uff, Naruto, I need to breathe damn it!"
A few sappy moments later
"So, was she hot?"
"I'm almost wishing I could have a second trip with Jiraiya. If I'd had some training I wouldn't be acting like a hormone-strung-out-teen. I'd have preferred being as old as everybody says I am, or at least with the experience of one."
"You are a hormone-strung-out-teen, and you're resident might prove a problem if you're not careful. Gaara did tell me that any intense emotion could get the badger going. As for the experience thing, well, don't believe what everyone is telling you. It's usually later, they're never that good and it won't be all that nice either."
"Thanks, now I'm depressed and disillusioned. Anything you'd like to add to my heap of burdens, nee-chan?"
"Well, aren't you supposed to go on a test today?"
"Yeah, I will, I'm planning on going to visit the Ichiraku ramen stand before going there though. By the way, how come you know all these things?"
"I asked Hokage-sama to relay your daily schedule to me, so I can get you through the first week alright. I'll ask Temari to send a fast slip message to Gaara for me, I'll want to spend some time with my new otouto, but don't expect me to be able to pull your nuts out of the girls hands every time you mess up from now on." At this point she stopped to ruffle his hair a bit. "Now, I don't know what kind of test you'll be getting, but finish it in good time before your date tonight. I understand that Ino was livid when she understood that she couldn't take you for a shopping spree using the Hokage's money."
"Thank Kami, Konoha would have been facing an economic depression if that happened."
"Which might be why you're being tested today. Oh, and I don't know if you heard, but your team is supposed to be active by next Monday. Get dressed and head off now. Enjoy a bit of peace and quiet.
"Okay, nee-chan. Will you help me prepare for the date?"
"Only if I get to play dress-up, and wash your back, otouto."
"Can't you let me wash my own back this time?"
"Where would the fun be in that? Now, off you run while I go and recuperate after my night out."
"Man, no one said that sisters could be like- oh, wait, Gaara did. And please don't tell Temari I said that."
Akane blew him a kiss, which he dodged, and headed off for the bath, while Naruto started the walk towards Ichiraku's.
Meanwhile, at the western gate of Konoha
"OOOOOHHHHH! Hello there guard-san, is it true that Uzumaki-san has returned?" Rock Lee was never the most discreet of Konoha's shinobi.
"Um, yup?" The guard answered, taken off guard by the seemingly burning mini-Guy.
"Ossu! Then I know for certain now that he is indeed in the village! I shall find him and challenge my rival and we will burn with greater flames of youth than ever! Thank you guard-san, have a nice day!" And with that shouted semi-command, Lee was off again.
"What the-"
"I don't know, and I don't wanna know. Let's just pray it isn't contagious, I think I got some spit on me. Do you think we should warn Naruto?"
"Well, somehow I reckon he'll be happier of not knowing. What with all the dates and all."
"True, true, he'll have enough problems keeping those ladies from sucking him dry, without having to worry about that weirdo. Are we still sure he's not gay?"
"Na, that would be Sasuke I reckon. Bastard, his own fan club and not one new heir to show for it. And then saunter off to that snake-perv."
"Yeah, so who do you reckon will win the finals?"
Seven in the evening, Naruto's home
Naruto had thought that he was ready for the date, he had his wallet, the nice suit, the present, not flowers considering her parents owned a store and so on. But when Akane handed him two tickets and he saw what they were for, he went for a spin. "No! I'm not going! Period! Naruto-sama does eat ramen! Naruto-sama does indeed cater to his escorts every need (up to a point) and Naruto-sama loves his sister! But, Naruto-sama does not collect stamps, steal from old grannies or go to the freaking opera!"
Akane didn't seem too impressed however."Naruto, would you prefer to ruin the date with Ino? I did not expect you to act like this towards an old friend of yours."
"No you don't, that card is currently out of the game! No matter how much a precious person she-"
"Yes? Go on, say it?"
"I mean, she looked cute and all, but-I just-it's. Please Akane-neechan? Pweety pwease?" Turning the most soulful teary eyed look he could muster on her, Akane almost melted there and then. Luckily she had had some practice resisting with Gaara. She'd never reveal this, as Gaara had declared his Teary-eyes-no-jutsu a triple S secret. Naruto's was even worse.
"No, Naruto. You are going to the opera, in your fancy suit, after the dinner, which you will eat in an adult and exemplary manner, and then you'll possibly go clubbing. I will not hear another word about it."
"Not even for two sexy-no-jutsu-clones?"
"No, this is for your own good. Ino will punish you even worse than Sakura would if you misbehave, so act right."
Thankfully the seal announcing someone passing the outer gate flared at that point. As Akane checked Naruto and herself over, he could only fidget nervously. "I'm gonna fall asleep at the opera or something, and then Ino's gonna give it to me, and there won't be anything pink colored involved either."
As was Naruto's want in these situations, he mentally summed up his situation and described it in the good old. "I'm so dead." Picking up a package he'd gotten at a store near Waterfall village, he moved over to the door, waiting for her to arrive. It didn't take long.
When the knock came, he waited until he'd counted to four slowly, and then opened the door. The date before with Tenten had sort of prepared him for the fact that his old friends had grown up. Unfortunately, that didn't mean that he was ready for one of the best seductresses of his age group. Ino had, as they say, gone to town, with a purple, off the shoulder gown. It didn't glitter so much as gleam, and was obviously cut for a night at the opera house. She'd also put on heels, white elbow long gloves and, Kami help him, a tiara like headband.
"Come on, say something, polite, a-hmm-oh yeah, a greeting. Hurry!"
"H-h-h-h-hi Ino."
"Good evening Naruto."
"Yay, go me saying hello first!"
"Would you like to come in?"
"Yes, thank you. Hello Akane-san."
"Good evening Ino-san. All set?"
"Pretty much. Well have to go soon, we've reservations in thirty minutes."
"Oh, then you should leave right away, just a moment please." With that, Akane pulled Naruto aside.
"Okay, just give her the present during the dinner, after the main course but before dessert if you can make it." She instructed him in a whisper.
"Well then, you two head off and have fun, see you later Naruto-otouto."
"Later nee-chan. Let's go Ino."
With that they were off, and Naruto's next lesson started immediately. "I didn't know you had a sister, isn't she from Suna? Do you live together? How did you get such a big house?"
A/N: Yes, My wicked ways have taken over again, as another hottie joins the fray. What does she want, money? Power? Raw, hot, steaming-My nose!
Err, right. Let's try again.
Yes, it's another date getting started as an ending, gonna have to figure out another kind of cliffie for you. I know many of you are hungry for ninjaness and cool jutsus, while some of you have trained hard and being doublehanded (perverts) and want those juicy lemons.
Me, I haven't got any intention of letting this fic run away with me, so bear with the romace and sappiness (I am writing for my own sake after all.) while the plot will develop off stage for now. Don't worry, there will most likely be some nice action scenes, as well as infuriating and often missleading clues as to just what the **** is going on. Please keep dropping off remarks that make me want to get batter, (oh, I'm getting hungry)-er bettter, and if anyone knows someone who knows someone who once shared a flat with someone that might want to beta this for me, please ask them nice to look this over.
Till the next update. (Whenever that will be)
Ja ne.