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Contains excerpts from SM's Eclipse.

I caught her unprotected back and with one final simple step the dance was over. My mouth brushed once against her neck like a caress. The squealing clamor coming from Seth's efforts covered every other noise so there was no discernible sound to make the image one of violence. I could have been kissing her.

And then the fiery tangle of hair was no longer connected to the rest of her body. The shivering orange wave fell to the ground and bounced once before rolling toward the trees.

I had no time to waste. Swiftly and coolly businesslike, I dismembered the headless corpse. I did not look at Bella as I piled the quivering, twitching limbs and then covered them with dry pine needles. I could not bear to see her horrified face as she saw the violent nature of our kind. I helped Seth gather up pieces of Riley and added them to the pile then flipped open my lighter and quickly lit the dry tinder.

It was only after making sure that we had gathered ever piece of the two vampires and they were smoldering in the fire, that I took a deep breath and turned to face Bella.

And at that moment, my world changed, though I wouldn't recognize it then, still too puzzled by what I was seeing, or rather, not seeing. Bella, who I had left pressed against the cliff wall, frozen in terror as she watched the battle unfold before her, was no longer there.

Bella was gone.

"Edward, sweetheart, why don't you come downstairs for awhile. Everyone misses you." My mother was sitting next to my prone body on the bed her fingers running through my hair, a ritual that comforted both of us in times of stress.

I shook my head slightly wanting to acknowledge her question. Through her thoughts, I could see that her biggest fear was my relapse into the unresponsive corpse that occupied this room just a couple of months ago.

It had been two days since my spectacularly, theatrical collapse; two days since Carlisle had to carry me in his arms to the house; two days since he practically had to feed me by providing deer captured by my brother. The chagrin I felt over that incident was more than enough to keep me locked away in my room for a human lifetime.

Unfortunately, it didn't keep them out. We didn't have locks on our doors, obviously a lock wouldn't keep a vampire out but everyone in the family recognized that a closed door meant a knock was required to enter. It wasn't about privacy. We could hear even the softest spoken word through the walls and I could hear everyone's thoughts, but it did offer a small sense of having control over one's private space. However, it seemed that courtesy was only extended to the sane members of the family. My door was always closed and I ignored the knocks, but still the precession of visitors never stopped.

It was Esme's turn again. She was humming softly her fingers apparently trying to touch every strand of hair on my head, lest one felt neglected. She was in no hurry to leave and despite my attempts to ignore her, I could not help but sigh contentedly as her fingers worked their magic and some of my anxiety eased. It was easy to think of Bella at times like these. She would stroke my head in much the same way and if I just let my mind drift a little, stopped my breathing and really concentrated, Bella would appear, her fingers running through my hair, the scent of lavender and freesia filling my nostrils, her warm body pressed against my stone cold one.

"Did Carlisle tell you that he gave his notice at the hospital," Esme said softly. She found that I was much more responsive when she voiced her comments and this bit of insight kept me from sinking too deeply into my Bella fantasy.

"Our new house should be ready to move in by then. I've hired two more contractors to help out. It will be close, but I think I can safely say that we won't be sleeping under the stars. The house should be done."

She waited for me to comment and when I didn't, she laid next to me her face only inches from mine and lightly stroked my cheek. "I have a surprise for you. Have you figured out what it is yet?"

Again, I felt a need to acknowledge her so I shook my head. I had not been paying much attention to any of my family's thoughts so secrets and surprises could very well have gone unnoticed by me. I had, however, been privy to the plans of our move; we were relocating to a small town on the North Shore of Lake Superior. Carlisle had been offered a position at St Mary's Medical Center in Duluth and Esme was going to head up the renovation of the Glensheen Mansion.

Duluth also had a reputable university, though as far as I knew, none of my siblings had enrolled in any courses. When Carlisle had broached me on the subject of attending class, I had been noncommittal but said I would check into it. In order to further my carefully crafted farce of caring about something other than what was behind the four walls of my bedroom, or more specifically, the memories within my skull; I had sent for literature from the college and left the opened packets of mail scattered throughout the house. In a moment of uncharacteristic curiosity, I'd inquired as to why we weren't going back to Ithaca, New York, a place that my family had only lived for six months the previous year and was told it had too many bad memories. I didn't mention it again.

Esme seemed pleased that her secret was still safe. "I haven't told anyone else about it and I try not to think about it too much myself. I think I'm getting better at blocking you too." She chuckled, touching her nose to mine. "But sweetheart, this surprise is going to take me a little longer to complete. I really wish you would consider what Carlisle said."

"No!" The force of my response startled both of us. So much for controlling my anxiety. I rolled away from her and faced the window. Still, her fingers slid through my hair.

"Edward, please tell me why you are so against this? You've always enjoyed spending time with Eleazar and Carmen and it's been a long time since you've visited with them. At least you could try it, just for a month or two. Carlisle has talked to them; they would love to have you." Esme's voice had taken on a slightly pleading note. It tore at my heart that I couldn't do what she asked of me. She seldom asked for anything.

"I can't," I whispered. How could I tell her that the very idea of facing that entire coven and their thoughts about Bella would just be too much for me to endure. They would be too polite to ask outright, it wasn't their verbal queries that would be the problem; it was their inability to restrain their inquisitive minds in the company of a mind reader. And even if they did manage to remember my gift, they weren't as skilled as my family when it came to suppressing their unspoken questions.

Then there was the idea of leaving Bella herself. She was here all around me everywhere I looked I could see Bella. Denali held no such memories of her. Nothing in Denali helped me hold onto my reminiscences of her. I had to stay here in Forks for as long as I could.

But Esme deserved an answer. I owed her that. Maybe she could understand if I phrased it the right way. "I can't deal with Tanya, you know how she is and Irina and Kate, they never stop thinking about...about..."

"Oh sweetheart," Esme mumbled against my neck. She sounded amused. "Is that what you are worried about?" My sweet innocent boy.

Perfect. Now she thought of me as an unenlightened infant, but even that was better than the truth. I felt guilty lying to Esme, but I just couldn't go to Denali and leave Bella behind.

"Let me talk to Carlisle. Perhaps we can get the sisters to come and help us with the move. It would only be for a couple of months. Maybe not even that long. I think you need a change son, the sooner the better and Denali is the logical choice."

She seemed placated with the direction of her thoughts and I did not argue with her again. I didn't have the strength. But one thing was certain; I was not going to Denali.

Later, I was alone except for my Bella vision. She was sitting on my black leather couch, her legs folded up underneath her, smiling as she flipped through a pile of my CDs. "I really don't understand why you sort them by year. Wouldn't it make more sense to sort them by artist? Aerosmith is in the seventies eighties, nineties and the twenty-first century. And what about the greatest hits CDs; you have "The Big Ones" in the nineties but it covers the two previous decades as well. It would be much easier to find them if they were all alphabetized by artist."

"Bella," I purred. She was so cute. "Remember, vampire brain, here." I pointed at my head. Chronological dates are more logical. If I think of a year in my life I can instantly recall the music that was released and find exactly what I am looking for."

"Okay Mr. Spock." She drew an eyebrow up and looked at me expectantly. She loved to test my familiarity with pop culture.

"Spock was a man before his time. There is nothing wrong with being logical."

"Logical? What are you talking about, Edward." That wasn't Bella's voice. Had I been talking out loud?

I really don't understand you, Edward. Haven't you tortured yourself enough? It was bound to end badly, I tried to warn you. Humans are just too fragile. You need to snap out of this. You're killing Esme.

I groaned and tried to bury myself into the pillows on my bed.

"Stop…please… stop… just go. I can't listen to this right now." My hands curled around my head, my fingers gripping my hair. If Bella was my angel than Rosalie was my demon, my own personal demon sent from hell to torment me for the rest of my days. She didn't often visit me in my room, usually waiting to pounce when I ventured downstairs. The rest of the family must be out leaving me defenseless against her evil ministering.

"Edward, I'm not trying to be cruel, but you have to hear this. I think I can speak for everyone when I say we are tired of this self deprecating, self loathing, over dramatic, self centered behavior and it's gone on long enough. Don't you understand that you've taken the entire family on this miserable journey with you and it's got to stop. It's completely selfish and completely you and it's about time you realize that you are not the only one that is suffering."

That was too much. I jumped up from the bed and was immediately in her face. My hands were clenched at my side, a low hiss emanated from my lips.

"Suffering," I roared. "How can you say that? You didn't even like Bella. When you lose Emmett you can talk to me about suffering. Of course you would make it about you. This has nothing to do with you. I'm not asking anything from you, anything from anyone. Just leave me alone. Why is that so hard?" I wanted to grab her, throw her through a wall, tear her wicked head off and toss it out the window. But as I stared into her eyes I could only see compassion and a weary sadness and this confused me.

She took a step towards me and I backed away. That look on her face was not of a demon now. It was strangely sympathetic. Another step forward and I took one back. I was ready to run and she knew it. Her hands were already on the sides of my face holding me, forcing me to look into her eyes.

"Edward…Edward, listen to what you just said. You are so close. You know the truth, just say it."

"No… No… No." My hands were wrapped around her wrists trying to loosen her grip. "I can't listen to this. You'll ruin everything."

"She's dead, Edward. Bella is dead and denying it is not going to change anything." She held me firmly, her gaze so powerful, I could not tear my eyes away. "Say it, Edward. Say it. Just say it."

"I can't, please, I can't"

"Yes you can," her voice had become notable softer. "Do you think we don't hear you up here talking to her, Edward? We know what you're doing. You can't hold onto her like this. You have to face reality. It's been months. If no one else is willing to make you face it then I will. This has to stop. Bella is dead. Now say it. I know you can do it."

"NO," I threw her back against the wall sending half my CD collection, the collection arranged chronologically by year, crashing to the floor.

"Say it Edward," her voice was calm, untroubled, unfazed by my aggression. She floated toward me again.

"Shut up about Bella, I'm warning you." I covered my face with my hands breaking her mesmerizing hold on me. The back of my knees hit the bed and I sat down. Alice's frantic thoughts fill my head as she came within my range.

I'm coming Edward. Don't run!

"Edward, say it," the demon said again. She was back to being a demon.

Bella was gone.

One minute she was standing against the sheer cliff wall clinging to the sides of it watching Seth and I battle Victoria and Riley, but now she was gone.

I could hear Alice first, her thoughts screaming at me, then Carlisle's and finally Esme's, frantic and panicked, but I could not pick out particulars. I did not understand their alarm.

I would follow Bella's scent. She could not have gone far. Had she run? Bella had never shown an ounce of self-preservation. It would be just like her to decide to take it upon herself to intervene. Was she was trying to get back to the clearing? Jasper had told her that her presence would drive the newborns into a frenzy. Did she really think she could make it across several miles of forest all on her own? No, of course not. It couldn't be that.

Jacob. That was it. Jacob was linked to Seth's thoughts. He would have seen Victoria coming for us; he would have come back for Bella. He loved Bella. That made me feel better and it made perfect sense. Bella was with Jacob, he was hiding her.

But then why were Carlisle, Esme and Alice here and what were they doing. I was standing on the cliff ledge where I had left Bella. I was going to track her and Jake. But I couldn't smell the dog; his scent wasn't mixed in with hers. I could see Carlisle below me, not far, just forty or fifty feet down the embankment. What was he doing?

Bella? He was bending over Bella. What was wrong with her? Why was she lying on the ground and why were Esme and Alice holding her hands.

I couldn't move. I could only watch, waiting for Carlisle to help her up, help her stand. Bella needed a lot of help with that. The thought of her clumsiness brought a smile to my face. But rather than pull her to her feet, Carlisle did something completely unexpected. He bent over her, tilted her head in a familiar way sending a shudder of trepidation through me. . He lowered himself like he was going to kiss her lovingly; he was going to kiss my Bella. Kiss her on the neck, but no, not kiss, bite her, bite her on the neck. Why was Carlisle biting her?

I felt myself drift. My physical body wasn't moving my feet were still firmly planted on the rocky ledge, but I could feel myself flying towards them, the small little group, floating above them. I was detached from feeling anything other than intense curiosity. Now Carlisle was taking Bella's small hand from Alice, turning it and kissing her wrist, lingering over it, licking the wound he had created with that kiss, closed. Placing her hand back in Alice's grasp, he reached for the other and repeated the motion. The act looked almost intimate and I wanted to look away, but I was hypnotized, everything around me was hazy, the only true clarity was right before me, Carlisle and Bella. Esme and Alice had faded into the background.

I was transfixed; there was nothing in my line of sight other than Carlisle and his modus operandi as he hovered over Bella. He was changing her. Carlisle was changing Bella. But why? It was to be my gift to Bella. Why was Carlisle taking away the one thing that Bella asked of me?

She was hurt. That was it. Bella was hurt. Bella fell. It was alright. Carlisle was changing her because it was the only thing he could do. Bella was hurt. It would be alright. In a few days, Bella would come back to me. It was not the ideal situation, but it would be fine.

A little more reality seeped into my obscured thoughts, as I watched Carlisle start CPR on her. Two breaths, thirty pumps, two breaths thirty pumps, two breaths, thirty pumps, two breaths, thirty pumps. He would stop, watch, listen, and then start again. Two breaths, thirty pumps. I could hear the whooshing of her blood and Carlisle's venom as it flowed through her veins with each of Carlisle's compressions. When he pulled back, there was nothing. For the first time in her presence, I could not hear Bella's heart beat. The sound of the silence was deafening.

Alice was crying. Her face was contorted in agony, her ragged breath sucking for oxygen she did not need. I stared inquiringly at Esme's blank face. She wasn't looking at me, or Carlisle or Bella. She was just gazing off towards the setting sun. For the first time in nine decades, I wondered what she was thinking. Her mind was blank to me. Eventually my eyes found their way back to Carlisle. The whooshing had stopped. He wasn't doing CPR anymore. He was staring at me, a look in his eyes like one I had never seen before, shock, sadness, pity, but mostly shock. I knew he was talking to me. His lips weren't moving but I could see the thoughts moving behind his eyes, I just couldn't decipher them.

"Rosalie, what are you doing?" It was Alice's voice. She sounded annoyed. But why was she talking to Rosalie? Rosalie didn't care about Bella.

"It's time he faced the truth. We can't go on like this." Rosalie didn't sound like her usual defensive self when someone challenged her. She sounded completely confident.

I didn't look at Alice. I didn't want her to know where my mind had been.

"And this is the way, by bullying him into it?"

"I'm not bullying him into anything. He knows, he almost said it. That is the first step. How long do we let him live in this little fantasy world he's created. We've been catering to it and it needs to stop."

"Carlisle thinks it's best for now."

I felt the mattress move and realized that Alice was sitting next to me. "I'm not deaf; I can hear what you're saying," I muttered indignant that not only would they come in my room uninvited, but then they would insist on talking as if I wasn't even there.

"Well Edward, most of the time we can have conversations right in front of you and you don't hear a word. So excuse us if we were just assuming that you had checked out again." Rosalie sounded exasperated. She wasn't far off. I hadn't been listening.

"I really think we need to discuss this with Carlisle first," Alice said sedately. She apparently didn't like what she saw in my future.

"Discuss what? That it's time for Edward to not only face the truth, but voice it, admit it, embrace it. That's all I'm asking him to do."

"You can't make me," my childlike comeback was not lost on her and it preyed upon her weakness.

"No Edward, I can't make you, but don't you see, it's the only way you will get well."

She was standing in front of me and her arms reached out pulling me to her before I could see her intentions. She quickly disengaged my fingers from my hair and pulled my arms around her waist.

I knew I was being enticed by the demon, but I didn't care. I had never considered myself exceedingly affectionate, but as I had become more and more lucid over the last couple of months, I suddenly craved physical contact. Without thinking, I buried my face in her stomach.

"Edward….Edward, what are we going to do with you," she cooed. She'd wrapped her arms around my head holding me to her.

Rosalie was my biggest nemesis in the house, my constant tormentor, the bane of my existence, yet when she unleashed her maternal nurturing on me, I wanted to please her in a way that a son wants to please his mother.

"Bella is dead," I said in a monotone voice.

"Yes, Edward, she is, but you are alive, now what can we do to help you start living again."

My body shuddered as I wept against her. I had no answer; it was beyond me.

The roaring sound came upon me gradually, like a tsunami rolling across a large body of water. I felt numb, but I found myself moving towards my family, towards Bella. Carlisle had stood and slowly walked towards me his arms held out, in defeat; an attempt to embrace me; I wasn't sure, maybe both. His lips were moving, he must have realized that I was not responding to his thoughts so he had switched to verbal communication. I could see that he was asking me a question, but the roaring in my ears was too loud and I couldn't hear him. I saw, rather than felt his arms close around me, felt his firm embrace, but then he was gone. Only one word stood out, floating like a puff of smoke where he'd been standing.

Volturi.

Bella lay unmoving between my mother and Alice. I stared expressionless at her still figure, listening carefully for her heartbeat; anticipating the tha-thump, tha-thump to resume at any moment. Hadn't Esme jumped from a cliff and survived, Carlisle's venom flowing through her veins, healing her? Surely Bella's injuries could be no worse. She looked like a sleeping child, not a mark on her, her skin pale and unblemished. She was perfect.

I saw Esme's hand reaching for me and I moved toward it, unsure what I should do. She pulled me down against her, her face buried in my shoulder. Slowly, gently I lifted Bella up against my chest, her head sagged backward, but with an adjustment of my grip, I was able to cuddle her in a less distressing position against my shoulder.

She was only sleeping. I loved watching her sleep. I found it fascinating. Soon she would start mumbling; it was my favorite part of the night. Bella's unguarded musings were quite entertaining. Any time now she would talk, I pulled her tightly to me, my face buried in her hair, kissing her again and again on the top of her head. She was so quiet, not moving, not talking, not even breathing and still I held her. The roaring in my ears got louder. Alice was holding her hand, again, rocking as she clenched it to her chest, ragged cries escaping her lips. And Esme was still there, rubbing my back, her lips moving against my neck, but it was too loud, her voice didn't register. At some point, I realized that the roaring was coming from me and it wasn't roaring at all, it was screaming. I didn't remember anything after that.

When I suggested to Esme that she should bring a sofa to my room from downstairs, she laughed. I wasn't joking. Since my latest breakdown with Rosalie, the visitors in my room increases exponentially, and seating was becoming a serious problem. Apparently the ideal spot to read, watch movies, or just hang out happened to be in my bedroom and no matter how much I protested or more often, ignored my visitors, they just kept coming.

It was Carlisle's turn, again. He was sitting in my only chair, not looking at me, not giving me the opportunity to glare at him. I wasn't interested in exchanging hard looks anyway. I lay on the bed, facing him, but deliberately looking past him. There was a spot on the wall behind him that was quite interesting. I didn't often view the room from this vantage point so I had no idea if the blemish was a recent development or if it had always been there. I wondered if Bella had seen it. What did she imagine she saw in that gray mark that I suddenly found so mesmerizing?

"Esme says you might be willing to go to Denali if Tanya and her sisters aren't there. Do you want me to talk to Eleazar about it? He could speak to Tanya."

"She is mistaken. I never said that." I decided the spot looked feminine. How one determines if a gray smudge no larger than a human hand was male or female, I wasn't sure, but it definitely looked maternal.

"Edward, I don't understand why you won't consider it. Staying here in Forks, isn't in your best interest, I'm afraid. It would only be for a month or two and I understand that Esme has a surprise for you, she's been quite secretive, but is adamant that she can't get it completed before the month is out. It would make her so happy if you would let her surprise you."

Carlisle played dirty. Esme's happiness was the only thing that could get me to do something I didn't want to do.

"I'll stay here." The spot definitely suggested a face and the features were beginning to come into focus. The silhouette of the emerging torso was motherly, shapely. It definitely was not Bella.

"You are not staying in Forks by yourself and you are also missing the point. You need a change of scenery. I understand your issues with the sisters, but honestly Edward, I'm surprised you wouldn't look forward to spending some time with Eleazar, I know…"

"I am not going to Denali!"

It seemed the spot was morphing in front of me. She was turned to the side, her face staring down at something in her arms. It reminded me of a pose commonly assumed by the Virgin Mary in sculptures and effigies as she held the Son of God against her breast. The thought made me smile. I wondered what Carlisle would say if I told him that the Virgin Mary was taking shape over his shoulder.

"I think I'm going to study Catholicism after we move," I blurted out.

The muscles on the side of Carlisle's face twitched. "If that's something you're interested in, I would support you of course. There's a Catholic Archdiocese in Duluth. I could check into it."

I sighed. Was there nothing that would fluster Carlisle? "I'm particularly interested in the Virgin Mary and why the visions of her always appear in the most unlikely places, like water spots on the wall, for example."

Carlisle looked at me, saw the direction of my stare and glanced at the wall. Whether he saw the spot or not, I couldn't tell, but even if he did, I doubted he saw the Virgin Mary manifested in its shape.

"I've heard that a person can become quite obsessed with visions of her, I've never understood the fascination myself." He was looking at me and I met his gaze and smiled in what I hoped was not a maniacal way. My family already thought I was insane; I didn't need to encourage them with my incoherent ramblings.

Satisfied that I was not currently having a mental breakdown, he started on another topic. I think you'll like Silver Bay. It's right on the shores of Lake Superior. The house sits on a cliff overlooking the water, very gothic, though by the time Esme gets done with renovations, I doubt gothic will be an accurate description. He chuckled.

The spot which was more of a blob, a female blob, had distinctive features now. It was not the Virgin Mary. No, these features seemed a combination of Esme and Rosalie, in a Buddha earth mother sort of way. I wondered what type of Freudian revelation that was. Regardless, it was disturbing and I rolled on my back. Thankfully, the white ceiling was free of any dark spots, blemishes or water marks.

"The area in and around Duluth has become quite a tourist attraction since the twenties when we last hunted there. Quiet in the winter, but summers could become problematic."

So many smells…large coven…dangerous to approach, alone.

"Still it seems to have plenty to offer, particularly as it relates to hunting. Deer, elk, even some moose. Black bears are abundant, no mountain lion, but plenty of wolves.

"Wolves?" Bella wouldn't like it if I fed on wolves.

The tone of my voice must have alerted Carlisle. He had stiffened in his chair. Wolves have always been one of your favorites. Has being around the Quileutes changed that? You know that they aren't truly wolves, Edward.

"I…..wolves…I don't have a problem with hunting wolves, I don't even like those mutts."

Carlisle was no longer a casual observer. I could feel his gaze burning a hole in the side of my head. "Then what, Edward? Is this about Bella?"

"Bella? Why would you say that?" Dangerous territory.

"How are you feeling about her, Edward? Alice told me Rosalie was quite persistent with you yesterday. I don't approve of her tactics, forcing you to talk before you are ready. I doubt it will do anything to assist in your recovery. I'm sorry that I wasn't here to stop her."

"My recovery? I snorted. "What does that mean? Recovery from her death? If you are waiting for that, it will never happen, I will never recovery." How dare he. My eyes locked with his, I only saw compassion in his gaze and this infuriated me. How could he be so presumptuous to assume I would recovery? Like this was a medical condition that one only needed to heal from. How could he expect me to recover from Bella's death?

It was my fault. If I had left her alone, not found her interesting, ran away and stayed away from her the moment I knew that she was not just another human girl, Bella would be alive today. Instead, I set her up to die not once, not twice, but three separate times. And what was that human saying, third time is a charm. Well it certainly was for Bella.

"I think you misinterpret what I mean," Carlisle was speaking soothingly. His eyes held nothing but concern for me. I hated him for being so understanding. I had to look away, the white ceiling held nothing that I could focus on, so I closed my eyes.

"You've shut yourself off so completely from us, Edward. Yes it's gotten better, but I think part of that are just your conscious attempts to hoodwink us into believing you've started to make your journey back from that darkness that you've clung too. It's considerate of you to try and alleviate our worries, but it doesn't help you, son. And do not misunderstand me. I will not deny you one moment of your grief. But Edward, you are suffering from a very human condition called depression. With depression comes a variety of symptoms one of which could be delusions. It's okay to remember Bella, but Edward she is not here with you and yet you interact with her like she is. I think that is what Rosalie was trying to force you to realize."

"Bella is dead; she's dead, dead, dead, dead!" Does that make you feel better? Have I recovered because I said it?" I tried to sound steady, sure, but my voice had risen an octave. I clenched my eyes shut as tightly as I could. It wasn't enough that I hated him for being understanding. I hated him for being persistent, for being right, for being unrelentingly cruel in making me see that he was right.

"Edward, are you going to bring Bella to Duluth?"

"What!" I gasped, my eyes flew open, I felt a pulling in my stomach, the need to curl myself up in a ball. "What do you mean, bring her to Duluth?"

"Easy son, I'm sorry, we don't need to talk about this now." Carlisle's hand was gripping my shoulder; he was leaning over me, a worried expression on his face. He should be worried. I was glad he was worried. He was pushing me too far.

Six, maybe seven, hard to tell for sure…and so many gifted ones.

"Edward, we've been avoiding this conversation for too long. It's hard to let her go, but it's not healthy for you, son. I need you to think about starting over in Duluth. Do you understand what I mean, Edward? Do you think you can let her go?"

Very interesting…no patrols…they must not be hostile.

"Carlisle?" I didn't recognize my voice. Too many emotions were rolling over me; I felt I was losing control. Why couldn't I have a simple conversation about Bella without turning into a quivering mess?

"Edward, I don't want you to worry about it. If you're not ready to let go, it's alright. This all takes time." Carlisle was using his professional bedside manner now, back tracking. He could sense my panic.

Mind Reader!

I was up on my feet in an instant, Carlisle staggered away from me, shocked by my posture. I was in a defensive crouch staring out the window.

Edward what is it?

"Someone's coming. A vampire. I don't recognize him."

"Are you sure?" He was crouching now too, looking out into the darkening woods, it was almost twilight. Is he imagining this? Who would it be? I should never have brought up Bella and Duluth.

"I'm not imagining it," I hissed though I couldn't blame him for not trusting my judgment. My behavior was anything but rational. I could see through the intruder's eyes. He was west of the house, too far out to pick up his scent. He was hesitant, but his curiosity was getting the best of him. He was moving closer.

"Carlisle!" It was Alice from somewhere in the house. I saw her vision. He was standing in front yard we were on the porch, defensive but not aggressive. Carlisle, always welcomed visitors. Wait, where was I? In Alice's vision, I was missing.

"Alice sees him," I whispered. Carlisle could trust Alice's visions. She wasn't delusional.

"I'm coming Alice. Edward hears him too. Let's greet him on the porch."

Edward stay here. We can handle this. We'll talk later.

He touched me reassuringly as he left.

I realized after he'd gone that I forgot to tell him that the approaching vampire had a gift like Eleazar. I thought about going downstairs, but then, did it really matter? Instead, I curled up on the bed stared at my Esme-Rosalie spot on the wall and wondered just how pathetically broke I was that I couldn't even be trusted to help defend my family. I had always been the first line of defense against any unfamiliar vampires, reading their thoughts, gauging their intentions; but now I was too far gone to even do that. I would not turn to Bella until the visiting vampire had left. Even if Carlisle had no confidence in me, it was still my responsibility to protect my family.

Author Notes:

Bella's death can only be explained this way. She was a clumsy girl and propped up on the cliff wall she fell as she watched the battle between Edward and Victoria. Her injuries, most likely head injuries, caused her heart to stop. Alice saw it but too late, since it wasn't a conscious thought on Bella's part to fall off the cliff. Carlisle's attempts to revive her came too late. She was already dead by the time he bit her and one thing vampire's cannot do is revive the dead.