DISCLAIMER: SM owns all Twilight characters and settings. No copyright infringement intended.

WARNING: Contains graphic vampire violence and religious references that may be offensive.

Did I mention I'm a fan of Stephen King. ;o)

This chapter will explain some of the confusion left in the wake of chapter 5 and 6.

January 1919

I climbed up the steep bank of the ice covered lake, impervious to the late January weather. My inability to feel cold was one of the many things I was still getting use to having only been a vampire for just four short months.

Carlisle was standing on the river bank. His clothes were dry. He had not followed me into the water, not taken me up on my challenge and now he was laughing. Not just laughing, roaring with laughter, holding his sides bending over and I'm sure if it were possible, he'd be crying with the exertion of it.

The velvety sounds of his hilarity were usually contagious, except this time he was laughing at me and I didn't find it funny, not one bit. It took me a moment longer to fathom what he found so hilarious, my annoyance over his gaiety growing; his thought's showing no source of his merriment. But then the gigantic fish in one final struggle for life, flopped furiously, reminding me that I still carried the slimy thing in my teeth, had put it there myself as I climbed out of the lake leaving my hands free to help with the steep icy terrain.

I meant to yell at him, curse him for his laughter, but I couldn't call out, my mouth was full…full of fish. I spat the disgusting creature to the ground. "Stop laughing at me." I hissed and immediately Carlisle became somber.

"I'm sorry Edward." He tried atonement. He was still wary of my newborn volatility. His thoughts were masked, his features serious, but I could see the twitching of his lips; a new round of guffaws were ready to burst from him.

"You told me we could catch fish; feed off of fish." I yelled at him, seeing no humor in the situation. "I thought we were… were...going fishing."

This was too much for Carlisle and he howled with laughter again, holding his hand out at me like that would presumably block my outraged advances on him.

"Edward…..please….please forgive me. I said we could feed off fish, not that we should. You were too eager to beat me to the lake; I didn't have time to explain." He was still bent over holding his sides fighting for control, but as the memory of me emerging from the water with a fish in my mouth floated through his consciousness, he was on the verge of losing it again.

It was true. The moment he said we could feed from fish, the bigger the better, I'd sprinted towards the large lake without hearing him out. I took it as a challenge misinterpreting his desire to share the one thing he could with me, his knowledge; his motives were purely meant to enlighten me.

He couldn't match my newborn speed. I easily beat him and with a thrust of my fist, shattered the foot thick ice. Diving under water, I swam like a sea lion, using my eyes rather than my sense of smell to track my prey, in this case a Muskie as long as my leg. Now I could taste it, still on my lips and I wiped my hand again and again over them trying to rid myself of the foulness of it.

Carlisle saw me relax just a little. "When you came out of that water with that fish flopping in your mouth, it was too much…" More chuckles. "Edward, I think that was the funniest thing I've seen in all my almost three hundred years."

"I'm glad you were amused." I felt humiliated and hung my head ashamed by my absurd competitiveness. Why did I always think I had to beat him at everything? But then I saw his memory of me and I felt a smile tug at my lips; it was funny. My mouth, stretched wide, didn't looked big enough to hold the fish; my hair was frozen in an odd array of spikes and kinks and I was hardly graceful as I climbed up the ice covered snow bank leading from the lake.

"I'm sorry Edward. I didn't mean to laugh at you." Carlisle had himself under control. He was worried that he'd hurt my feelings.

"It was sort of funny." I offered.

"Sort of?"

"Okay it was really funny and I deserved it." I acquiesced, looking up to see him smiling at me, still in good humor, but with pride shining in his eyes.

"Forget about the fish. You got control of your emotions very quickly. Do you feel it?"

Ahhh so that was why he looked at me like I'd just hit a homerun in the World Series. It had nothing to do with my fishing prowess. I thought about it and I did feel more in control. Any angry I felt was subdued, hardly worth contemplation. A change from the rages I suffered through just a few short weeks ago.

I nodded than felt a spurt of chuckles escape my lips. Pretty soon I was laughing, joining Carlisle who played the image of me again through his memories.

"Stop," I managed to gasp. I couldn't watch it again. But Carlisle was merciless, recalling every detail of my fishing expedition including the point when I meant to express my outrage, but realized that I had a mouth full of fish. The look on my face was horrified and furious and this brought a new wave of shrieks from me as I fell to the ground clutching my sides.

It felt good to laugh; maybe Carlisle was right and I wasn't such a monster after all.

Edward?

"Edward?"

That didn't sound like Carlisle.

I opened my eyes and stared into the red demon eyes of Daniel. He was peering thoughtfully at me as I huddled in my space oblivious to his approach.

"I don't think I've ever seen you smile. It must be a good memory." He smirked, motioning me to get up.

"One you'll never experience."

"And one you'll never experience again."

He had me there. My memories were all I had. I hadn't consciously thought of that memory with Carlisle from so long ago. I just slipped into it; letting the security of it embrace me, fill me with warmth remind me of the life I'd thrown away.

Now as I followed Daniel to what I assumed was my trial, guilty verdict and sentencing for lying about Michael's thoughts, I was oddly comforted. Perhaps I'd been wrong to exclude my family's memories. Bella could only get me so far and then I would remember that she was dead, dead because of me and I would feel the heartache all over again. But my family was alive; still alive and as long as I kept them that way, it was safe to think about them.

It didn't stop the tremors though. They appeared worse; the constant twitching was almost painful in its intensity and certainly uncomfortable. I found if I squeezed myself hard enough, I could get them to subside somewhat, so that's how I sat; scrunched up in a corner of my room, my arms wrapped around my legs and as far around my back as I could reach and I squeezed.

The fear clung to me gnawing on my insides taking precedence over everything else, even my thirst. It was the waiting, anticipating what my punishment would be for making Cameron look like a fool in front of his coven. I tried not to think of the other incident, watching…feeling Michael die had shaken me unlike few things had in my vampire life. I attributed it to the overall ghastliness of this place, the uncertainty of my future and my only solution which was almost as horrifying as living for an eternity surrounded by this wickedness.

In the twenty four hours since I'd burned with Michael, Cameron had expressed his displeasure with me through his thoughts, though displeasure wasn't exactly the right word. He was irate. His verbal rantings could be heard by a human if one was still alive within a half mile of us and the unspoken ones were even more incensed. I tried not to listen, didn't want to know how I would be persecuted. I'd seen things in Jasper's thoughts. He described tortures that at the time had fascinated me in their cruelty and originality, but now that I was living it, I had no desire to reminisce through Jasper's memories.

Daniel, as usual had his thoughts concealed. He was an educated vampire. The literature he could recite was varied and extensive. I had no idea what his age was, how long he'd been a vampire or how he ended up in this place as I was sure he wasn't born to it. There was something sinister about him. He'd only ever been courtesy around me, but under the surface, he was hiding something, something hideous.

"Edward, so nice of you to join us," Mary said peaceably, as if I had a choice. She was sitting on an ornately decorated bench, one of the few pieces of furniture that hadn't been stolen or destroyed. Cameron was with her, standing apart from her staring off towards the setting sun. His annoyance with me evident in his posture.

"Edward, we aren't going to ask you why you lied." Mary began, as I stood before her trying to look contrite and attentive. I was wary of Daniel behind me, had seen in his memories how lethal he was.

"But you must understand that by not being truthful, not relaying the thoughts of those that we request them from, be it friend or foe, you are putting us in jeopardy." Mary reached her hand out and gripped my arm. I did not pull away. "I would like to give you another chance, truly I would, but we just can't take the chance."

Had the tremors reached my jaw? I felt my teeth clench and only with some effort could I unlock them. I didn't try to speak and only nodded my head figuring it was the polite thing to do. My instincts were screaming at me to run, but I wasn't young, I wasn't a newborn. I could control myself if I had to. Did I have too? We were decidedly alone, the four of us, the newborns and young ones were not within my smell and I could hear none of their thoughts. I didn't have to stand there. I could try and escape. The odds weren't in my favor, but they were better than Michael's. Mary's hand was still on my arm; would her grip tighten? Would she reach with the other hand and twist?

"Edward calm down." Her face was collected. She didn't look like she was about to dismember me. But then that was Mary's role. She enticed…she dazzled…and then he…

"Edward, come with me." Cameron had moved away from the window and floated by me without looking at either of us.

"I think it might be time for you to learn the lore of this coven; our history, our reputation. It's time you were enlightened in our ways." Cameron's voice held no menace but a shudder different from the tremors rippled through me.

"It's alright Edward; I'll go with you too." Mary said reassuring me like this deduction would make me feel better. She was the seductress luring in her prey.

With Daniel behind me and Mary's hand on my arm, I felt I had little choice but to let them guide me as we followed Cameron.

"In your brief time with us, surely you've heard bits and pieces of our history, how a coven as small as ours could exist in this region despite numerous attempts to overtake and destroy us." Cameron paused, turned and looked to make sure I was following him. "But perhaps that is not stating it correctly. Exist is too passive of a word. We dominated this region for decades."

I'd heard the stories, as much as I tried not to listen; their arrogance and superiority out of place given their current diminished capabilities.

"I want you to understand, Edward, how we managed all of these years. Yes it's true we've fallen on hard times but that is unfortunately my miscalculation. I assumed our legacy would carry us for decades into the future. I understand now that I must replenish the well from time to time. We must remind those around us of our special brand of punishment. Do you understand what it is to have a reputation that eliminates the need to fight? "

I shook my head. The Volturi were such a coven, had such a reputation, but I knew of no others.

We'd ventured a mile south of the hacienda, an area I hadn't traveled through and had actively avoided. The human population was close. I was still confident that I could control my bloodlust and keep the monster at bay. I hadn't worked for decades to keep it under control only to have the memories of newborns feeding destroy everything I was, yet the fear was there. I wasn't the same vampire, didn't have the same loyalties. If I came upon the young ones feeding, I might not be able to resist.

"No one is going to hurt you Edward," Mary purred in my ear as I moved no faster than a human at a brisk walk. She was pulling on my arm. I heard Daniel sigh behind me. He kept a reasonable distance away from me, trying, I assume to ease my alarm.

"Of course we aren't going to hurt you." Cameron affirmed. "You are our most prized possession. We have great plans for you. But you must understand the entire truth about our coven, Edward, about our kind. There are worse things than death. Did you know that? I need you to see why we were so feared, why death, even death as you witnessed it yesterday with Michael, is preferable to what I'm going to show you. Why covens live in fear of our special brand of retribution."

As if he were adding an explanation point to the end of his dramatic sentence, he turned and looked at me, eyebrows raised, his lips turning up in a slow ominous smile. Then, unbelievably, he reached his hand out for me. I stared at it as Mary released my arm. My feet no longer floated, but dragged on the ground. I felt her hand on my back, pushing me forward towards him. My mind was screaming to run, I didn't know why, didn't know what awaited me but I knew it was terrible; something I wouldn't want to have burned in my memories for all the rest of time. Still, I didn't resist when his hand gripped my elbow, pulling me alongside of him.

We had come to a clearing in a small valley. In the distance I could see the silhouette of a small village. The setting sun added a tranquil feel to the idyllic little community, but with a group of vampires approaching, it wouldn't remain tranquil for long. At that moment without hearing any thoughts to confirm it, I could see where this was leading. They were bringing me to town to feed, to feed on humans.

I stopped abruptly feeling Cameron's hand tighten around my arm. He did not push me and stopped when he realized I was no longer moving. He had no wish to instigate a fight with me fearing my unavoidable destruction in the process. He valued me enough to avoid any confrontation that would bring on my untimely death.

"What is it Edward?" Mary said magnanimously.

"I won't feed on humans."

The laughter from the three vampires was almost as unnerving as Cameron's allusion to a punishment so feared it was enough to keep neighboring covens at bay.

"There are no humans where we are going, Edward," Mary said lightly. "This village has been deserted for many years. But tell me, can you pick up any signs of life out there. What do you hear?"

I was immediately wary, but didn't resist as I was pushed forward between the three, our progress exponentially faster as I felt delaying the inevitable would only make the situation worse. I tried to listen. Other than the hidden mumblings of those around me, no thoughts strayed into my consciousness. I heard nothing, blissfully nothing.

"I don't hear anything." I replied.

"Let's get closer, tell me if you hear or smell anything unusual." Cameron had me by the elbow again, pulling me along.

I listened tentatively, expecting a frenetic rush of thoughts so shocking, so appalling, that there would be little chance I would miss it. But when I did finally hear something, it was really nothing at all.

Whispers…disjointed mumblings. It was more than one mind, I was sure, but I didn't think they were communicating with each other. There was nothing coherent, just random words, maybe hints of a prayer, pleading, signs of confusion and all of it difficult to hear which I'd never experienced before. I had to reach for these thoughts, concentrate, focus on each word and most weren't words at all, but mutterings that might have been words.

My skills as a mind reader were such that I could either hear the thoughts or I couldn't. They did not manifest into my consciousness as I got closer to my subject or diminish as I moved away. An individual mind could be harder or easier to read, or in Bella's case, impossible, but it had nothing to do with how close I was to the person. I looked questionably at the vampires around me who were staring at me in anticipation. "I hear…sounds."

"What kind of sounds?" Cameron asked eagerly.

"Maybe voices, but I can't make them out. I think they belong to more than one, but I'm not sure."

"Let's take a closer look. Make sure to let me know what you hear." He was pleased. This made me feel slightly less agitated. I had been sure we were walking into some medieval form of torture for me, but perhaps I was only being asked to solve a mystery.

When we were within a mile of the village, I noticed an odd odor that accompanied the muddled thoughts overwhelming my brain. I instantly recognized it as the smell that had accompanied Daniel and the newborns when I warned of a sixth vampire; the indistinct smell that suggested a vampire without the distinctive odor of anyone specific.

"What Edward?" Mary asked, noticing me test the air.

"I smell something."

"What do you smell?"

"A vampire. The same vampire that was following Daniel."

"How do you know it is the same one? " Mary asked.

"It has a peculiar smell. Almost like no smell at all."

"And what do you hear?" She appeared less interested in my ability to smell them; their enhanced sense of smell was no less powerful.

"Still just mumblings, nothing specific."

We approached a small Catholic church on the edge of the little village. It looked like it hadn't presided over a mass in decades. My alarm at the harmony of thoughts, unfamiliar vampire thoughts, was not mimicked by the others with me. Cameron and Mary seemed eager, like parents waiting for their child to open that perfect gift; I assumed their enthusiasm was generated from the anticipation of my reaction. Vampires rarely got to witness anything new.

Daniel's thoughts were hidden behind a cloak of literary works by Kipling, but occasionally he would slip and his amusement would become evident. He looked forward to whatever awaited me with a sadistic relish reinforcing my fear.

Eventually I stopped moving all together.

"Edward, what's wrong? Do you hear something?" Mary asked placing her hand in what she deemed an appropriate place in the middle of my back.

"Tell me, who's in there?" I was done with their games.

"Edward, it's not something we can easily explain. We must show you." Mary encouraged. "We can promise you only that you will not be harmed. They can't hurt you."

"They?" So there was more than one.

"Please Edward, just go and have a look and make sure you listen." Mary coaxed.

I knew I had no choice. Why did I resist? And despite my fear, my curiosity was piqued. Who was in that church? Had this coven figured out a way to restrain vampires? Could it be as simple as that? I briefly thought of Carlisle, how his sponge of a mind would relish some new piece of information; his ongoing quest to educate himself enabled him to pass from century to century with renewed enthusiasm. Maybe someday I would be the one to enlighten him with something new. Maybe.

I took a deep unneeded breath and listened hard, but only heard the same perplexing sounds. Nothing alluded to danger, but the pleas were very real. If not rich in specifics, the disquieting inference was there. Then I heard it, one clear word, a name…Gina.

"What is it Edward." Mary responded to the expression of shock on my face.

"Nicholas…you have Nicholas," I gasped.

"How do you know that?" Cameron asked, delighted with my pronouncement.

I ignored his question. "How is that possible? How are you holding him?" My voice was a breathless whisper. I tried to see through Nicholas' eyes, but his vision was unfocused. I could make out nothing significant. It was odd. It was as if his vision, while intact was not registering, the images not reaching his brain, so consequently I could not observe them.

"Come, we'll show you."

I didn't resist the pressure of Mary's hand on my back and our pace picked up so that we were standing in front of the decrepit old church in mere seconds. I no longer thought about the befuddled thoughts in my head, I had to see, see with my own eyes. I moved past the others who had stopped to watch my progress and slowly made my way up the crumbling stairs pushing aside the door that was hanging by a rusty old hinge.

What was so formidable about this church that could hold a vampire captive; for I had little doubt that Nicholas was being held against his will. Was it some sort of mind control or hypnosis that could keep a vampire in a suspended state, unable to control his physical body? Perhaps a gift similar to that of the Volturi twin, Alec, but even more powerful; one that didn't require constant concentration.

The church was dark; the windows boarded shut from the inside, as if someone was trying to keep something from getting in. Most of the pews were torn out and those that were left were stacked against the walls. I had no trouble deciphering the contents of the old church, but there was little to see. Were they holding Nicholas and the others underground? I smelled the air and other than the dank odor of an old building and the odd scent that hinted of a vampire but provided no specifics, I smelled nothing else and there was no hint of Nicholas' scent. I looked back and saw the three vampires behind me waiting, anticipating what I would find. To say they looked gleeful was an understatement. They looked like they were ready to burst with excitement. I took no comfort from their hidden thoughts and went back to focusing on the murky interior of the church.

Stepping carefully, I moved inside scanning every darkened corner, every misplaced piece of furniture, every suspicious shadow and still I found nothing. It was unlikely that a church like this, built when it was would have crypts, but perhaps underground passageways used to hide rebels escaping from Santa Anna's troops? I couldn't bring myself to ask one of the vampires outside where they were hidden.

Just as I was prepared scourer the outer perimeter of the church looking for a hidden stairway, something on the altar caught my eye. The free standing table was covered in debris and looked inconspicuous enough, but there was movement.

"Hello?" I didn't consider how ridiculous it was to call out to a vampire that would know I was there.

I moved through the church at a human pace, my eyes never leaving the altar in front of me. Something had moved, I was sure of it. As I got closer I could see it, wondered why I hadn't noticed it from the start. Amidst the broken beams that had crashed down from the ceiling and the overturned pew that rested against it I could see pieces of the broken crucifix; a large rather elaborate crucifix given the impoverished location of the tiny village. I walked closer, mesmerized by what I was seeing.

At first I thought it was just part of the crucifix, placed lovingly in the middle of the altar on the mensa. But then it moved, not much, just a twitch in the cheek or maybe a wink; though I didn't think the thing looking back at me was capable of winking. Its brown hair was pulled back though wisps of it had broken free and hung down over its face. I found little else that was familiar. The eyes were no longer the deep crimson red of a well fed vampire, but a muddy brown sunken into the skull, no life flickered in them. The face itself was just hanging skin. I'd never seen such features on a vampire. Our skin was unyielding, barely supple, not like this elastic goo that seemed to sag down to its chin.

It's….his mind held nothing notable, nothing I could understand as sentences or questions or even memories. I did feel his thirst, a deep intense burning, but it wasn't just his thirst. I could feel the thirst of all of them and there were others. I didn't want to look around to find them. Because now I understood, understood how a vampire could be kept physically against his will and I understood that there were more of them than just this one, than just Nicholas. And all I had to do was look around, just turn my head to the right or the left and I would see them. I could feel them, hear their thoughts enveloping me, their whispers and mumblings, their prayers and pleas, no words but the sounds were there, they were trying to speak.

I felt a weakness in my knees; I remembered the feeling, had it the day I saw Bella die. That weakness that no vampire had any business feeling, like I could collapse, like my legs couldn't hold me, the weight of my body too much for them. I heard the movement of the others behind me, Cameron, Mary and Daniel, their thoughts were no longer hidden, they were relishing in my discovery, eager to learn what I'd been able to gather from their…captives. They didn't need to hide anything from me. I understood everything completely now.

"What do you think of my collection, Edward?" Cameron's voice practically purred.

I didn't speak, couldn't speak and I tried not to hear the mumbles, the babble of words that formed no conclusive sentences. But my eyes were drawn back to Nicholas or what was left of Nicholas. Because even though I recognized his hair still pulled back in that ponytail, and his features, saggy and elastic as they were and those muddy brown eyes that no longer glowed red with life; even though I recognized all of that, I really couldn't think of him as he was, as the vampire he was, because he was just an apparition of his former self now.

I never thought it possible, couldn't have believed it so, not in all my years, wouldn't have even imagined it and Carlisle certainly hadn't. Never once in any of his thoughts had he even alluded to the prospect that something like this could be possible. So it wasn't without much effort that I had to force myself to believe what my eyes already told me was true and that truth was that Nicholas was there in the church, placed on the altar, but not completely, because on that altar was only his head, there was no body, no arms or legs, just his head and it was…..it was still alive.

…and then I looked, because I had no choice. I couldn't just keep staring at Nicholas' sagging twitching face. So I looked around me, looked to the right at the broken statue of the Virgin Mary cut off at the waist, a head sitting nestled in the womb of the marble body, tilting back eyes permanently focused upwards; and at the completely intact pulpit with the blond head of a female, her eyes darting back and forth though she wasn't, from her thoughts, seeing anything. To the left I saw more, some in better shape than others, the hand of time causing decomposition, not in the traditional human sense, but an aged look of a worn old over used sofa or favorite piece of clothing; they looked used up, completely drained of whatever essence of life they once had. And still others, damaged, cracks in the skull or dislocated jaws from poorly executed decapitations. And those too were alive…

"Edward, tell us. Do they have conscious thought; see if you can communicate with them? "Mary's voice, how could I ever have found it appealing? It was monstrous in its pleasantness amongst this horror.

I looked at her, my mind trying to register what she was asking me and when I couldn't focus, my eyes strayed past her towards the door of the church, towards the fading sunlight and I ran. I ran as fast as I could away from the church of abominations; out of the valley, running without knowing where I was going, just away. I knew they would follow, could hear them clearly, their astonished thoughts, their screams and shouts at me to stop. But I didn't stop, not even when I heard the others coming, the young ones, the newborns. I didn't stop running and they couldn't catch me, none of them could not as they spread out, their bodies crashing through the trees, perhaps not crashing in human terms, but I could hear them all plainly; the thrill of the chase. If they caught me I wouldn't live to see another day. The newborns were too inflamed, they wouldn't be able to control themselves and they were much faster than Daniel. They would be done with me before he arrived to stop them.

But I ran faster, I was still faster. I knew I could outrun them as I heard them fall back, one at a time.

And just when I thought I might be free, finally free of them, I heard Cameron, heard his thoughts, his threatening thoughts. Edward, who in your former coven should we bring back and add to my collection?

I gasped even as I ran harder. No! He wouldn't.

I'd like a pretty one this time. Nicholas told me that you had a very pretty sister. I think I'll take her.

"NO…..NO…" I screamed, my voice reverberating through the trees.

I gave no thought to where I was going, but I knew where I had to go. I was going to my home; the place I had doomed myself to; the place I would never be able to escape from so long as I still had some foot in reality. Carefully, avoiding the newborns, I maneuvered my way back and was in my room before any of the others even realized I'd turned around.

It was around that time that the rocking started.

I was largely left alone over the next week. Unfortunately I wasn't alone with my thoughts. Cameron was pleased that he had me under his control, that he could stop my escape with a simple threat to my family, my former family. Mary was worried about my mental health, thoughts of Gina forefront in her mind. It was no wonder the girl was insane. I wondered where she was. Had they killed her, found her head not worthy of adding to their collection? Certainly she was beautiful, stunningly so. Cameron did say he wanted a pretty one and she was more than pretty. Maybe she escaped. I felt a little better thinking that she had. Would she know to run as far away from here as possible or had she followed them as they carried the head of her mate back with them. Was she out there somewhere lurking in the trees waiting to retrieve it?

Roberto was sympathetic and worried about me. He came to my room once, but I couldn't muster the energy to pull myself out of my cocoon, my arms wrapped tightly around me as I slowly rocked back and forth; so with a muttered I'm sorry, he left me alone. Daniel and the others found me pathetic. They were disappointed that they couldn't use me to talk with the heads; apparently they took great pleasure in visiting the church to play with them. When Daniel tried to torture me with the details, I thought of every composition I'd ever written and played each, note for note on my imaginary piano until his thoughts drifted to something else.

The rocking was an interesting development. I hadn't realized I was doing it until I saw the wall moving back and forth and realized it wasn't the wall, it was me. I had some control over the tremors, but no matter how tightly I held myself, the rocking continued. Carlisle had never been interested in psychiatry, so I had never invested much time in it myself, but now I wished I had. I wondered what my diagnosis would be. I was waiting for the rest to come, the weird swirling visions, the delusions and vivid hallucinations; would these manifest themselves the longer I was here? Would I eventually lose myself to them, become unaware of my surroundings, create a little world for myself? I couldn't be blamed for that, they couldn't go after my family for that, could they? I needed to believe it so when the time came and I felt myself slip away I wouldn't fight it, I would just let myself go.

At some point, I left to feed. I felt others following me, Daniel was one, I didn't bother trying to separate the smells to determine who else was behind me. I fed on two small deer and when a test of the air revealed no other large animal scents, I returned to my room, still thirsty, but afraid of the human scents I did smell in the air.

On the sixth day of my self imposed isolation, I heard him, the kinetic thoughts of a terrified vampire. Daniel and the young ones had captured a nomadic stranger. The frenzied delight of the newborn thoughts was difficult to ignore, the intensity of them pounding in my skull even as I pressed my fingers against my temples trying to still their monstrous plans of torture and execution.

Soon I could hear his pleas, his defense, his denials that he was a spy and just the victim of an unfortunate piece of bad luck. He'd only been passing through the area and as he begged for mercy, it only incited the newborns further. His smell revealed nothing. I didn't know him. He was a stranger to me. I was indifferent to his plight. Too many other lives were held by a thread waiting for my slip-up, another poor decision that would seal their fate. I couldn't bear the burden of another life, held precariously at my finger tips; I had too many memories left to explore.

"Edward, I won't let you hurt anyone." Carlisle's thoughts were concerned but not unduly so.

"You said yourself, I'm faster and stronger than you; how would you stop me?" I'd tasted the scent of humans, I knew the uncontrollably urge I would have to drink from them if we went anywhere near them yet Carlisle was insisting that we do that very thing.

"You can control yourself. Just don't breath and listen to my voice." Ever patient Carlisle motioned for me to follow. We were approaching a hobo camp along a railroad track. I judged them to be a dozen or more. Unlike the humans near our home, these transients would have no family, no one to miss them, it would be so simple to sneak in and snatch one, just a taste, no one would miss…

"Edward!" Carlisle's sharp tone brought me back.

"You must focus on me, on my thoughts. Don't breath and do not think of the humans. We will stay well clear of them, but the temptation will be strong, you will want to feed. You mustn't. Do you understand?"

I nodded, swallowing a mouth full of venom. Even Carlisle's mention of the word human, made the thirst in my throat ache.

"You can do this, son."

Had he just called me son? It wasn't the first time. Periodically over our seven months together he'd said it. When he realized it, he looked apologetic, but he often didn't realize it, referring to me as son was almost second nature to him now. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I couldn't really remember my human father. Now and then I would be reminded of a tall graying man in a distinguished looking suit holding out his arms to me in the door way of our home and would recognize him as my human father, but more often than not, I barely remembered I had ever had a father. So hearing Carlisle calling me son, somehow made me feel safer, like I belonged, like he considered me more than just his creation and companion and that he wouldn't make me leave if I did something wrong. Something like feeding off of humans.

"Very good Edward. I told you, you could do it." Carlisle was beaming at me.

I cocked my head listening for voices. Still hearing them I looked at Carlisle skeptically, but then I tested the air and could smell no sign of them. We truly were out of range and I hadn't even thought about breaking away from Carlisle.

I smiled at him tentatively. "It wasn't that hard once I stopped breathing….fa….Carlisle." It felt wrong to call him Father. He was barely older than I in human years; but I wanted too.

Edward?

I was being summoned. It wouldn't due to ignore it. They would just come and get me and the sooner this was over with, the sooner I could settle back into my memories. I unwrapped myself and found the source of the voice, Cameron, with Mary waiting in the killing field, otherwise known as the courtyard. The remnants of Michael had scattered with the wind, but the black soot and scorched weeds left no doubt that his execution had been real. I stood silently by them as we waited for the others to come with their prisoner. At least he would make it here alive, but from Cameron's thoughts I knew that his fate had already been decided.

"Are you listening to him Edward?" Cameron whispered; they would be within our hearing now. We would rather he not know of your gift until you can read him.

Did it matter? I couldn't see how, but I didn't say anything. I didn't care.

The captive was young, extremely young, even younger than me in human years. He was petrified, so much so that his mind was clogged with thoughts one tumbling over the other. I had a hard time deciphering where one thought ended and another one began.

Cameron wasted no time with the interrogation.

"Who sent you? Which coven?"

"No one sent me, please. I'm just passing through."

"Just passing through? What kind of fool do you take me for? What is your name?" Cameron demanded.

This was not the first time he'd interrogated someone. Through his memories I saw others, the same questions, similar responses, that was, until the torture started. I shuddered, catching Mary's concerned glance.

"My name is Quentin. I'm telling the truth. I'm not from any coven….please." He was clasping and unclasping his hands, his eyes darting to Cameron who he understood to be the coven leader, than Daniel, than back to Mary, lingering on Mary; she was doing her best to dazzle him.

The newborns were on the perimeter, but I could feel their need growing. One of them, Stewart was to be given the honors of dismemberment, much to Rico's disappointment. Apparently there was some civility in them. At least they took turns.

"It's rather peculiar that you would be traveling through this region, known for its violence," Mary said, her fingers running through her thick blond hair, amused as Quentin's eyes followed her gently stroking.

"I didn't know about that. I just know the feeding is good here in the south, less suspicious." He bowed his head, obviously trying to break Mary's spell.

"Liar! Enough of this." Cameron spat. The newborns inched forward, anticipating…

Edward? Please make sure you make no mistakes this time. His words left little doubt what he meant. His collection was enough to convince me.

But I didn't need to listen further. Everything from Quentin's thoughts suggested it was just as he said. He was passing through. I could get nothing of his motivations. There was no back-story behind his words. He was in the south, just passing through, feeding here was good.

"He's telling the truth," I mumbled. They all heard me and Quentin looked up quickly, his face first showed confusion, then understanding, his eyes widening as he looked at me, seeing me for the first time.

"I see." Cameron's disappointment mirrored most of the others. And you're sure about that?

"Yes," I replied noting the bewilderment of the newborns who didn't understand that their master was speaking to me in his thoughts.

"You….you….can read minds?" Quentin sputtered, his eyes wide, his face contorting in fear.

I ignored him. Was I sure? Even I knew thoughts could be hidden, disguised and even faked. It didn't escape me that he recognized and accepted my mind reading abilities understood that it was even possible; quite impressive for a young nomadic vampire.

I listened harder, feeling both Cameron and Mary watching me closely. They seemed pacified that I was still studying Quentin's thoughts, still searching for lies.

And in his thoughts, I saw the monologue over and over. I'm in the south, just passing through, feeding here was good…I'm in the south, just passing through, feeding here was good…..I'm in the south, just passing through, feeding here was good. And then I saw….just a flicker, a slip of concentration and it was all I could do not to gasp out loud.

"Edward, are you sure he is telling the truth?" Cameron asked again.

I thought of my family, the risk I'd put them in. They would have no warning of the danger, not with Nicholas being…held like he was. And I thought of them, that horrific collection and being part of that, spending all of eternity in a conscious bodiless state, I couldn't risk that, risk my family, I just couldn't. But in Quentin's mind just for a brief instant between his repetitive explanation, I saw that one word that would set me free, set me free and finally stop this evil and in that one moment of weakness I felt the words forming on my tongue and I turned to Cameron, my face revealing none of my inner turmoil and with the words I spoke next, I would seal my fate one way or another and finally end this.

"Yes he's telling the truth."

My eyes slipped from Cameron's to Quentin's and his eyes didn't widen in shock, he displayed no emotion on his youthful face at all. He was young in human years but not so young in vampire years, he had an iron grip on his control now. He looked at me with what…gratitude, understanding, kinship; his thoughts suddenly cleared and he left me with one word that stood out above all others.

Volturi.

Author notes:

I'm interested in what people have to say about a vampire being able to survive minus a body. Everything I've read in SM's books suggests it is possible. A vampire does not need to eat to survive. Blood is absorbed by the body (or in this case the head), the organs don't function or serve a purpose and nothing is pumped through the veins, not even venom.

And as my theory goes, their brain would continue to function until it was burned. The reason the vampire has no smell is that their essence has been drained; there is nothing to contain the venom which in my view is the one distinguishing feature of every vampire.