DISCLAIMER: SM owns all Twilight characters and settings. No copyright infringement intended.

WARNING: Graphic vampire violence, disturbing images and suicidal thoughts.

"What is wrong with you?"

I opened my eyes slowly and sighed. The young vampire was eyeing me suspiciously, observing, I presumed, my uncontrollable rocking and tremors that despite my attempts to control them, would be noticed by an attentive vampire.

"I don't know," I answered honestly enough. There was no reason to make excuses. The entire coven knew of my bizarre twitches, tremors and rocking despite my attempts to conceal them. Quentin had known me less than a day but now that the initial shock of his capture had worn off, he had the opportunity to observe his new surroundings which included me.

Before his barrage of silent questions, I had been thinking about Alice and Bella's attempts to make a cake for Emmett's human birthday. It wouldn't be a cake he could eat but Bella appeared excited at the prospect of celebrating that human milestone and she validated her reasons for going through the trouble by informing the entire family that she would have a piece for all of us. The cake as it turned out, ended up in the trash. Alice's interference and assurance she could make something as simple as a birthday cake had resulted in a batter with too many eggs and not enough flour and it was clearly inedible, even by human standards. Their laughter was as musically sweet as any composition by Debussy and I played it over and over in my mind ignoring the polite attempts by the Volterra vampire to engage me in conversation.

I wasn't exactly sure how I became his unofficial caretaker, but presumably it had something to do with my involvement in saving him from dismemberment and burning. I had no justifiable explanation for interfering with Cameron's plan to destroy the vampire even after I'd convinced him he wasn't a spy. I could only conclude that it was another example of my poor judgment risking my family again with my deceit and insubordination to save a vampire I didn't know And here he was invading my space, waiting for me to formulate a more coherent answer to a question, I'd heard in his thoughts several times but had deliberately ignored. Now he'd voiced it aloud and it would be rude to continue to disregard him.

"Spending any amount of time in this coven will do that to you," I managed to reply, hearing additional questions form in his mind about my relationship to the coven and how long I'd been there. I adjusted my body still locked in my arms and purposely faced away from him, assuming he'd read my body language and leave me alone.

Convincing Cameron that Quentin was telling the truth about traveling through the southern regions just to feed hadn't been as difficult as convincing him not to kill the young one anyway. I saw in his thoughts that he was ready to summon Stewart to begin the dismemberment just as the captive thought he'd escaped a certain death sentence. Taking a chance I'd spoken up playing on Cameron's biggest weakness and strongest desire; his quest to emulate the Volturi, his desire to rule over the West as the Vulturi did in the old country. The doomed vampire who's thoughts had so clearly left me with the impression that he was part of the Volturi guard could have a gift. It would be most likely that he did. But I couldn't ask him outright and he had no reason to think about it as he pondered whether he would live or die. So in that moment I took another chance."

"He has a gift," I said simply, the intensity of my stare willing him to look at me.

The young vampire gasped, but I could not determine if that was in response to my lie or his perception that I could identify he had a gift at all. I tried to use my abilities in reverse, tried to induce him to read my mind so that he would understand it important to admit it if it were true and lie if in the unlikely event it was not.

"A gift, you say?" Cameron's interest was notable in his voice and the slight shake of his head to Daniel, conceivably warding off an ambush by one of the newborns. "And what is his gift?"

"I'm not sure. He's hiding it from me." I was treading in dangerous waters now. If Quentin didn't see that I was risking all to save him, I would be exposed for my deception and everything I'd said prior to it would also be under suspicion.

"You there. If you want to live tell us of your gift?" Cameron had inadvertently given him permission to lie. Not just given him permission, but suggested the alternative if he did not.

I held my breath needlessly as I waited for his response. And in his thoughts, I got it. He revealed it to me just by contemplating if it was wise to speak of it or not. I did not wait for him to mutter out a reply.

"He can smell things where others cannot. He has the ability to pick up scents from great distances." The words rolled from my tongue as I read them in his mind. "He can distinguish the scents in the most diluted form; old scents, those compromised by time, weather or other scents."

It made sense. There was little in the way of details in the young vampire's mind. How he was captured? Why he was alone? Where was the rest of the guard? But if he were out scouting on his own, his unique talent serving to alert him to vampire scents that the others could not pick up, he could cover a greater territory and report back to the rest of the guard once he had a clear reading of the whereabouts of the next coven.

"Is this true? Is that your gift?" Cameron exclaimed, a calculated smile had appeared on his lips.

Quentin looked at me tensely, waiting for me to reveal the rest, his lies about being a nomad, his connections to the Vulturi, but I only nodded in his direction a gesture that could be interpreted any number of ways, but I meant it as offering; permission to speak of it.

"Yes," he finally said quietly and with great reluctance.

I suspected silence and discretion were honed into the guard and loose lips could be met with a quick and abrupt end to one's existence.

"That's why…that's why I'm here. I could smell them, so many humans nearby."

I cringed. Deception was not Quentin's forte or he would understand that he would also be able to smell all the vampires, the sheer numbers would have sent a nomad fleeing from the area. But Cameron wasn't interrogating any more. His thoughts had drifted to how he could utilize this gift, use it against his enemies. Quentin had suddenly become a very valuable addition to his coven.

And so I'd been entrusted with the young vampire, I suspected because I was one of the few that would not be so inclined to kill him.

We could not speak aloud of my deception, my lie to save him, but once we were alone, his thoughts became an open book as he revealed his mission, the mission of the Volturi. The excessive deaths in the region had reached Volterra. Mass graves were being discovered holding dozens of decomposing bodies. Government officials were blaming the surge of killings on drug cartels. The local authorities were short on specifics; the accounts of the deaths were under investigation as the bodies were quickly reburied with little effort made to find out the truth behind the deaths, the fear of the cartels doing much to curtail motivation of local law enforcement officials. The lack of diligence bode well for the surrounding covens, decade's worth of uninvestigated killings leaving them free to continue their creation of newborns.

That was until the Volturi decided it was enough. Too many broken rules, too much media coverage; the antics of the southern covens could no longer be ignored. Already several covens had been disposed of. Quentin was out searching for the next one when he'd stumbled upon the scent of Rachael and Roberto. He hadn't realized there were more until he was surrounded and ran down by the newborns. He'd been lucky to have made it back here alive at all. But he wasn't desolate with his circumstances. The guard knew where he was. He would be easy to track; it was only a matter of time before the others showed up.

Initially, he'd held their identities hidden, but then their faces started to appear in his thoughts; familiar faces. With each identity revealed, I felt a constriction in my chest and a combination of dread and relief. It was the elite guard. There would be no chance of survival. The unspeakably evil coven I resided in was to be no more and with it I too would perish. There would be no second chances, no pardons for ignorance and guilt by association faced comparable punishment. I calculated that I had mere hours left and after pulling from Quentin's mind everything that foretold of my fate, I waved him away from me, turning my back to him and huddled in my corner of the demolished space that served as my quarters. I thought of every pleasant memory I had of Bella and my family having little tolerance for his interruptions with trivial questions. I was running out of time.

There was no warning, no sounds of alarm, no cries for help when the Volturi finally arrived. I wouldn't have been aware of anything at all had not Quentin abruptly moved to the gaping hole in the wall, his talent for discerning scents in full use as he hungrily sucked in the breezes that had picked up as dawn approached.

They're coming.

I heard it clearly enough, a shout in my head, his excitement barely contained.

I did not unwrap myself, but found that the news kept me momentarily stuck in reality. I was listening for them, anticipating their appearance. If my heart could beat, it would have been pounding wildly in my chest. I was not so blasé about dying that I could ignore my pending doom as much as I might have wanted too. Thoughts of Bella could not distract me and even ruminating over my numerous mistakes over the past century which usually would leave me berating myself for hours at a time, failed to divert me from the coming calamity and my eventual death.

I heard one shout of a newborn, Rico. A warning, then the turbulent racing of his mind as he tried to absorb the significance of the smells that oscillated in the swirling winds. He assumed they were being invaded by a neighboring coven and he'd sounded the alarm. In the distance, the others were called in. They hadn't been that far away. I could pick up the excitement of the battle. They had little fear, confidence in their capabilities evident despite their recent defeats in battle; the ignorance and invincibility of youth, prevalent as much in young vampires as it was in young humans.

It wasn't long before I heard her. Jane, her gift alone the most powerful, the one that commanded the most respect and with her I knew Alec was near, bound to her as if she were his mate, rather than his sister. They were following Quentin's scent, untroubled by the subsequent scents of the newborns. This was what they did, what they were made for, why they existed. To find a large concentrated odor of vampires did not strike fear in their hearts as it would most of us. Instead it was what they sought and they viewed each large find as a victory, a success with only the nonessential details of disposing of the violators still left to be resolved.

In Jane's thoughts I saw her mild annoyance that Quentin had been captured, but she wasn't wary with this new information. She had little to fear from an attack by a coven alerted to their advances. There was no trepidation at the possibility of an ambush, her gift too formidable for any coven to defend against. As Felix and then Demetri approached, their minds jumped from one conclusion to another as they took in the scents and searched for the telltale burning ash of their companion, while calculating the number of vampires that awaited them. Quentin did not have the knowledge to question me on my abilities or what I heard, but his enhanced sense of smell did offer him some insight not afforded by my own and he was aware that they approached though not the specifics of their thoughts that offered little in the way of concern for his well being.

I found nothing particularly revealing in their musings until they happened on the place that I had hunted only days before. Unable to hear them outside of my gift I could only surmise their reaction when they discovered and recognized my scent. Through each of their eyes I was able to view their amazed and shocked expressions as they categorized and identified it in seconds.

"They're coming…they're coming," Quentin chanted quietly under his breath and I wondered if it would be prudent for me to remind him that there were other ears nearby that could still hear him. He would not be protected from the rages of the coven master and mistress nor any of the newborns until Jane was within visual distance and perhaps not even then. It would be just like her to disregard his life, her annoyance at his capture taking precedence over any displeasure Aro might feel should he be killed.

The little time I had to recognize that I was potentially facing the final hour of my life was enough of a depressant to keep me from offering any warning to the vampire I'd just met not a half day before. I struggled for a grip on my memories, something I could latch onto that would pull me down and away from my rapidly diminishing existence, but the thoughts of the Volturi as they approached the coven was so intently fascinating that my attention could not be distracted.

There was no apparent alarm from Cameron and Mary who'd slipped away to hunt and Daniel's thoughts were not within my range so the leaders of the coven were still oblivious to the danger that awaited them. Within minutes I heard the first faint screams of a young vampire mired under Jane's intense powers as she first tortured than had Felix dismember, behead and burn it. I thought the vampire might have been Rachael, but the terror in its mind revealed nothing of its identity and the sounds of death could have been from a male or female.

Next came the newborns; Rico and Spencer the third one Clemente and the fourth whose name I never bothered to learn. As newborns they were ignorant in the gifts of the Volturi and assuming their strength in numbers would be enough, they'd attacked simultaneously. I stayed in the minds of the Volturi, not wanting to experience the young ones' death first hand. Their shocked expressions quickly changed to one of agony as they were paralyzed by Jane's powers than quickly subdued in their disorientation by Felix and Demetri. Hasty dismemberment of a limb was enough to distract them until all were meticulously decapitated and burned in a roaring fire set by Alec. Jane's twin remained surprisingly passive, his gift, as powerful if not more so than his sister's, but it offered little in the way of pain which was such a tangible part of the Volturi lore.

The frantic thoughts of Mary and Cameron drew me away from carnage of the newborns, as they, upon returning from their hunt had only enough time to decipher the danger before attempting to run from their doomed coven. The scents of the guard though not specifically familiar to either of them, did trigger some suspicion that the attack was indeed from the Vulturi. The presence of four vampires would not normally be enough to take down their coven unless the attackers were particularly gifted. They could hear the slaughter of the exceedingly strong newborns as easily as I, the pitiful pleas for mercy fading as the fire burned higher.

I did not try to stop Quentin with words of warning as he fled from the house and ran to the smells of the others. Only Daniel and Roberto remained unaccounted for and I was sure that Roberto would not find it in him to attack Quentin given the current extenuating circumstances. Cameron and Mary were attempting to flee but Demetri was on their scent now. It would be forever etched in his mind. He would be able to use it to track them anywhere in the world, so even if they managed to escape, they were already doomed.

I began counting the minutes of my rapidly dwindling life, each tick of a nonexistent timepiece bringing me that much closer to the end of my one hundred and nine years of existence. I was reminded of a time as a newborn when it was just Carlisle and I. The fear I'd felt each night when he left for his shift at the hospital, my hours alone faced with unrelenting dread, fearful that I might succumb to my bloodlust without his steady thoughts to guide me. I would watch the minute hand of the huge Seth Thomas grandfather clock in his study slowly counting down the time before he would reappear, the nightly routine excruciatingly slow given I now faced an eternal life

I never shared with Carlisle, how scared I'd been when he left me alone, waiting for those hours to pass as I pretended to read from his vast library, but spent most of my time watching the face of that accurate old clock. It was only when the hour hand was at six, the minute hand at twelve and the chimes would start, clamoring like a large church bell, deafening to my highly sensitive hearing that my anxiety would subside. Carlisle shift had ended and he would be stepping out of the hospital into a back alley behind it and heading home to protect me from the monster that roared within me, barely under control, the thirst of the beast threatening to override my desire to adhere to his values.

The feeling I had now was similar only in recognizing the importance of time and how little control I had over it. Whereas then I'd watch that clock and felt relief with each passing minute, now I watched that same big grandfather clock locked in the memories of my mind, but this time as it counted down each minute, I was nearer to facing my death and oddly I was no longer comforted by the idea of it.

I heard more screams, these were close, if not in the courtyard, certainly not too far out of it. There were pleas before Jane rendered them incoherent garble. It was Roberto and for the first time I felt some remorse towards one of their deaths. The tragedy of a life lost affecting me only in that he was never given an opportunity to escape from here and learn that there was more to being a vampire than slaughtering humans and terrorizing and killing others of our kind.

I heard Felix call my name, not in my thoughts, but out loud. They would know I was near and perhaps they considered it a sign of respect to call me out rather than to have to come and search for me, dragging me kicking and screaming to my inevitable end. But I wouldn't be summoned. My time for obedience was over. My family was no longer in jeopardy with the demise of this coven and for the first time in weeks, I felt relief. I would no longer be ruled by the threat that hung over their heads, my deeds would no longer impact their lives; my bad choices would no longer become their burden.

Better that I was felled by the Volturi then suffer under the rule of a coven that had no morals, no values, and no sense of responsibility to others. There would be something slightly admirable in being destroyed by the most powerful coven of vampires in the world. And my death would not be undocumented, my fate forever unknown. It would be remembered. There would be someone to share the news, however unwelcomed with those I'd once known and loved. It was this knowledge I took with me as I drifted again.

I called it my summer of Bella, after the incident with James but before her fateful birthday party. She spent almost all of her free time with my family and I, first recovering from her injuries, then blossoming under my family's love and attention. They saw her as my mate, a daughter, a sister and she was adopted as one of us even as she still lived, her heart still beat, her blood still flowed. It was the most contented time in my life and would have been the happiest except for her persistence requests, some subtle, some quite audacious, to be changed, turned into one of us, into the undead, into a bloodthirsty monster.

Still, I valued our time together, relished her humanness, delighted in a world I could show her that had long grown tiresome for me but through her eyes became new and exciting again as she greeted each new experience with delight and joy. And her love, I basked in it. The warmth of it did more to pull me from the self loathing cloak I'd always shrouded myself in, than anything had in the past ninety plus years. With her presence, I discovered a new kinship with my family, my relationship with them evolving into something more. I was their equal, one of a mated pair, no longer the third wheel, the one they had to include or hide their joy with their mated status lest I feel excluded. It was a good summer. A good memory.

I thought I heard my name again and I listened and waited but instead was drawn into the conversation between Cameron and Jane. He was pleading his case, she was listening politely, patiently, but she was thinking about how his face would contort in agony under her burning gaze. She was trying to decide who she would kill first, him or Mary, understanding that the bigger agony lay with the one who was forced to watch the other die.

As Cameron laminated his position to protect himself by creating an army that he claimed was wholly under his control, their feedings discreet and not in violation of any of the Volturi laws, Jane decided she would kill Mary first. His self importance irritating her, his denials, an insult to what they had witnessed as no coven could possibly contain four newborns and turning so many at once was strictly forbidden.

I had no strong feelings about it but I tried not to listen which was an effort in futility. I heard Mary's screams clearly enough and the moans of Cameron as he agonized over his mate's suffering, held firmly in the grip of Felix as Jane drew out the torture for longer than was needed to make her point. The smells of Mary's burning corpse didn't escape my notice and her terrorized thoughts as she slowly burned to death were impossible to disregard, so for the first time since I'd returned from that place, I thought of Cameron's collection of heads, one horror distracting me from another, a memory distracting me from a reality and I almost managed to drown out the sounds of his torture and death.

It was done then; my new coven had been annihilated and it had hardly taken half the morning. The efficiency of the Volturi was impressive, their thoroughness complete. I'd not heard Daniel die but I'd assumed that was an oversight on my part, the Volturi didn't miss anyone. So it wasn't a surprise as Cameron's corpse still smoldered that I felt the presence of them, their soundless footsteps stilled as they stood around me. The five of them.

I saw myself through Jane's eyes, curled in a ball, my back to them, dressed in my tattered dirty clothes, the same ones I'd left Forks in so many weeks ago. I could visibly see the tremors of my body and I silently cursed myself for lack of control as it appeared I was trembling in fear and I was long past feeling an emotion as simple as that.

"Edward?" Jane's sweet musical voice purred out my name.

"Jane," I replied, but I declined to untangle myself or turn toward her.

"What a surprise to find you here and in such a condition. Too bad we don't have time to hear your story. I'm sure it would be fascinating," She said, sounding absolutely delighted.

"Not so fascinating," Came my reply. I would not delay the inevitable.

"Jane. I don't think we should be so quick to destroy him. He helped me. Lied for me," Quentin interjected.

I was surprised he spoke up. I understood that even the other members of the guard were reluctant to draw Jane's attention. She could be quick to use her gift if she was irritated.

"Ahhh yes. Saved you from your own stupidity, but is that really so admirable?"

Quentin withered under her attention, his regret at his outspokenness evident in his expression.

"Perhaps he saved your life in an effort to save his own. But he is as guilty as the rest and so he must die as the rest." Her sing song voice held no regret.

"Jane, we must think of Aro's wishes. He may want Edward returned to him."

I was shocked to hear Alec speak against his sister. I suspected it was a rare occurrence by the sudden indecision I saw in her mind.

"Aro, isn't here. I'm in charge. I must do what is right, what is the law. There are no exceptions," She spoke methodically and then leaning over me, she whispered. "Besides, I do think we'd be doing him a great service. Isn't that right Edward? Then you can go be with your Bella."

I gasped and without thinking sprung to my feet, spinning to face her, ignoring her comrades who jumped forward to protect her, as if she needed any protection.

"How do you know about Bella?"

"We were there the day she died, don't you remember?" Jane smiled, tilting her head thoughtfully at me.

It took me a second but then it came back. Carlisle's sad face. His brief hug before he ran back to the clearing leaving me with Esme and Alice and my dead Bella. He'd gone back to intercept the Volturi, Jane and the rest of them. Of course he would have told them about Bella's death.

"You should have turned her; she'd be alive today if you had. What a waste." Felix smirked, his eyes not leaving mine. In his mind I saw his memories of Bella, his desire for her and it wasn't just for her blood.

A rumbling growl escaped my lips and I crouched, my lips pulling back from my teeth. Their smugness at Bella's death was torturous. I wouldn't just lay here and die. I would go out proudly, perhaps take one with me. It would be a good death; Emmett would be pleased. I couldn't touch Jane, but Felix was a possibility.

"Edward, be a good boy now. We wouldn't want to hurt you before we kill you," Jane cooed. "Aro would be displeased if I tortured one of Carlisle's offspring. A quick death would be so much more fitting don't you think?"

I straightened. Blinked. A thought occurred to me that pre-empted my murderous rage against Felix. The heads. The Volturi could help with the heads. They suffered in their existence. It was my obligation to release them. The one good thing I could do. The last good thing I could do.

I turned from Felix to Jane. Her eyes were suddenly wary. My expression had softened, turned contemplative.

"After I'm…gone, you have to take care of the rest," I whispered. "There are more, not far from here, in a church, southeast. Just go south. You'll find it. They…they don't really have a scent, the odor is odd, but that should be enough to get you there. You'll understand."

Jane smiled, a puzzled expression on her face. "What are you prattling about?"

"There are more vampires in a church. They're harmless, they can't hurt you, but…but you need to kill them," I said, frustrated at her failure to understand me. "They are in the church. You must burn the church."

I saw Jane glance at her twin who was staring at me in confusion. Their thoughts revealed their mutual feelings that I'd gone completely mad, no longer speaking rationally, thus my comments were not to be taken seriously.

"I am not insane!" I snapped, running my fingers through my filthy hair. In Jane's eyes, I looked insane. "You must go to the church. You don't even have to go inside. But it must be burned."

"You will come with us, show us this church." Jane said.

"I won't." I was barely able to find the words to speak. Go back to that church? Hear the thoughts of those…those heads? I could not. Not even to end their suffering. I would not go back. Not alive. Never. I shook my head, as I saw Felix approach. "I won't go."

"Edward, don't make this difficult on yourself. If it's so important, you must show us," Jane said pleasantly.

"No." I held up my hand to Felix. I was sorry I'd mentioned it. I should have just let it be. They would have found them. A sweep of the area would have revealed that nondescript but highly unusual scent. Quentin with his gift would have found them. I backed away from Felix; thoughts of fighting him, killing him, no longer a reality. He would subdue me easily enough. It was absurd to think I could injury him, not with the others, the gift of the twins, Demetri there to step in. They needed to go away now.

My back hit the wall of the room; pieces of it crumbled off and fell at my feet. I slid down. I wouldn't fight. They could end me now, but I was not going back to the church of horror. I read their thoughts; they were bombarding me with them. My ability to block them decidedly weaker given my current mental softness. Quentin's were full of pity. Such a compassionate vampire. He had potential outside the guard. Too bad Carlisle wasn't here to guide him. Alec was worried about Aro. He did not want to displease his master by killing me, thus destroying my gift. He had to convince his sister that it would be wise to reconsider. Demetri thought I was insane; he'd seen it in others, he was leery of me, understanding that in my insanity I could be dangerous. Felix thought only of how he would take me down, his strong arms once wrapped around me would be enough to secure me and Jane was curious. She was not worried about displeasing Aro, he would forgive her, whatever her transgressions, but my reaction amused her, she wasn't done playing with me yet.

I felt Felix's massive hands pulling me to my feet. My growls were not enough to warn him and my struggles were having little effect. I would not go back. Roaring I jerked free of him and swung at him wildly. I connected with his head and he staggered back but Demetri was there. His hands on me throwing me through the undamaged wall of the room. Now there were two gaping holes. When I was able to stop the momentum of my tumbling, I jumped to my feet. I would run. They would catch me eventually but for now I would get as far away from the church as I could. They wouldn't bring me back.

The thought had barely formulated in my mind and I hadn't even taken a step towards escape when I felt the burning. It started in my spine and exploded through my nerve endings. I knew this feeling and this time I screamed. Scaring Bella was no longer a concern and it hurt. But even the pain was better than reliving the nightmare of that church. This was it then. I would be disabled by Jane and torn to shreds by the others. I wasn't human so my life didn't flash before my eyes, but my vampire brain could recall every memory, I just had to focus on them. But it happened too fast. Jane's special brand of torture was gone and Felix's arms closed around me. I didn't struggle, not until I felt us moving. Why were we moving?

"Are we going the right way Edward?" Jane's voice again.

"No. please. I can't go back there." It wasn't over yet. They were going the right way.

I tried a new tactic. I would not think about it. I would think about something else, something so shocking, so horrifying it would distract me; the memory of Bella's cold flesh pressed against mine, her unbeating heart, her eyes, the lids only partially closed, not seeing me, cold, lifeless. But I couldn't hold it. I was too aware of the familiar scents of the landscape, the path I'd gone just days before with my now doomed coven. I struggled against the grip around my chest that held me aloft. Felix was much stronger than Emmett. I could break Emmett's grasp, could slide under it. But Felix's was a vise, formable, unyielding. Any flailing and kicking on my part was met with chuckles.

Quentin was out front, I had my eyes closed but I could see him through Jane's, perhaps a mile ahead. He was sniffing the air for that odor I couldn't describe and as I knew he would, his head snapped abruptly when he picked it up. I felt the pace quicken. This wasn't like that last time when I was practically dragged along with the others; this time my feet didn't touch the ground at all as I was carried forward. When the dead scent hit my nostrils it spurred a new round of struggles and despite my best attempts to remain somewhat dignified in my final moments, I'd begun to whimper, unable to contain the sounds that I felt gurgling up from some where in my chest.

We slowed as the village and more importantly the little church came into view. Now the vampires were cautious. It was as I described. They had considered me unstable, insane in my ramblings yet what I said was coming to fruition. What was in that church that was so horrifying it would cause one of their own to whimper and struggle, even seek death rather than be subject to experiencing it again? They believed now, at least in part that there was something unspeakable in that church. But they weren't going to burn it. Not immediately. They were going to investigate, view for themselves what horrors lay within.

The sounds that emanated from me were neither exclusively vampire, nor entirely human. A combination of the species made for a chorus of whimpers, moans, howls and the more aggressive snarls, rumbles and hisses. None of them had any impact on Felix who entered the church with some concerns for his safety, unable to defend himself while holding me, the deranged withering spitting vampire that so desperately tried to struggle free of his unrelenting grip. Demetri and Quentin had entered first and were inspecting the church much as I had the week before. Jane and Alec stood in the doorway, blocking out the sunlight that did little to improve our already excellent vision, but created a less ominous atmosphere when the church was swathed in its rays.

I could hear the whispers and mumblings just as before and just as before I could only hear hints of words and attempts at sentences, but nothing specific. Yet in the unintelligible mummers, the horror of their existence was somehow communicated. The others still could not see them, but I did and this time I was able to pick up the decipherable difference in the tones. They were aware of our presence. The tempo of their thoughts discerniblymore clear, more attune then when we were still approaching. The fact that I had missed this the first time was a blissful ignorance I could no longer claim to have. They knew we were in the church.

"Oh my God," Quentin whispered when he finally spotted the macabre scene on the altar.

Demetri didn't have to say anything, nor did he. He'd already seen them, standing transfixed in light of the ghastly scene before him. But it wasn't until he saw the movement; a twitch under a sunken eye that he truly absorbed what he was witnessing. I felt a slight satisfaction when I saw him step back, his lips working as he tried to speak. I wasn't the only one that viewed the bodiless collection of vampires as horrific. Even one of the mighty Vulturi guard appeared stunned.

As Felix attempted to move closer, I bucked and withered against his grip wildly. His fingers tightened around my throat in annoyance. He wanted to see and didn't appreciate my distraction. My hands were free and in a vain attempt to block the sounds of the heads I covered my ears, allowing the noises from my lips to escalate, hoping the volume would drown them out but understanding that I wasn't hearing their thoughts in a traditional sense and only the skill I'd spent a century developing, could keep their thoughts unvoiced. But the ability to willfully block thoughts was no longer within my grasp and Carlisle wasn't there to help me silence the voices like he'd done when I was still young.

Jane and Alec had moved forward, recognizing that they faced no danger. I saw their hands grip each other, not out of a need to comfort but with enthusiasm, the unfamiliar delight of witnessing something new. Again I was reminded how we lived such tedious lives, surprises were rare and to be celebrated regardless of the horror.

"Master will be very interested in this," Jane said softly.

Despite my own slipping sanity, I had to admire her fortitude and dedication. She was staring at each individual head, burning it into her memory to be shared later with Aro as he viewed them through his touch. Even I could not imagine showing the same such commitment and consideration if Carlisle had been blessed with such a gift.

A noise drew Jane's attention and she turned and looked at me. Without conscious thought, I'd slide into her mind and viewed myself from her eyes. What I saw startled me. I didn't recognize myself. My fingers were curled around my ears, pulling at them, my eyes were wild and unfocused and worst of all my lips were pulled back in an agonizing grimace, my teeth chattering, the noise drawing her attention. It occurred to me that the only way I might hang onto some semblance of sanity was to view myself as a separate entity from the more rational minds of others, not that I necessarily thought of Jane as rational.

I slide from her mind and tried to focus, finally viewing her face through a blurry haze as she contemplated my destruction.

"Can you hear them Edward?" she said with a smile, knowing from my reaction that I could.

"Aro would be interested in those thoughts," Alec spoke slowly, his eyes on his sister.

Jane sighed. "Yes I suppose he would. Very well then."

Mercifully we left the church and I was dumped on the ground. Certainly not far enough away to stop the voices, but I found being outside helped and I focused on Jane; her terrifying mind enough to keep the sounds of the others away.

"Burn the church," She said to no one in particularly. But Felix and Quentin were only too eager to comply. "There are you happy now Edward?"

Was I happy? I didn't think so, but at least the sounds of the heads would be silenced.

"I suppose you won't be obedient and come with us quietly."

I stared at Jane's lips as she spoke as if the visual conformation of the question would make it more clear to me.

"Come with?" I asked mutely.

She sighed again. "Back to Aro. He will want to read you."

Then she grinned. I saw it in her mind and I jumped to my feet. The tremors were doing something to my coordination and I felt myself sway.

"Oh don't worry Edward, it was just a thought." She giggled.

Alec and Demetri looked on confused. Of course they would be, they didn't have my abilities. They wouldn't know that Jane, however briefly had contemplated taking only my head back to her master.

As if that one terrifying image wasn't enough, I was drawn to the sounds from the church; the sounds of vampires burning. There was no doubt now that they could recognize their surroundings, understand their circumstances and experience pain. The sounds of their silent screams clarified that for me and as I grabbed the sides of my head, uselessly covering my ears, I felt my legs go and I fell to the ground. In my brain I flipped through memory after memory, grabbing at each one as they went by, trying to hold onto one, trying to let myself be taken over by it, but it wasn't until I heard Jane's voice through the screams and my own pathetic sounds that I felt hope.

"Alec, be a dear and take care of him for me."

And then, just a fraction of a second later, my pleas were answered. I heard nothing; all of it was gone. I was gone.

Peace.

Author Notes:

In case it isn't obvious, Edward is not dead. It will just be easier to get him on the private plane to Italy if he is disabled in some way. Please remember that Edward is on a journey that will eventually lead somewhere