When Caroline woke up, it was dark outside. She had cried herself to sleep. She was hungry and emotionally and physically exhausted. What she needed was a rabbit, 'Good God I have to get into that blood bank soon' Caroline thought. This bunny blood everyday just wasn't cutting it anymore. Tomorrow she would have to compel her way in. She hated having to use compulsion, but sometimes the ends justified the means. It was either blood bank or the vein and she did not want to hurt anyone. Damon's words began to ring in her ear. "Don't act like you haven't done anything questionable in your existence…" Yes. She had done questionable things. There was a time when she used compulsion for, well, everything. She would compel her way into parties, houses, lives, beds. Caroline shuddered at the thought of things that she had done in the past. Caroline was far from perfect, but she would not, could not, go back to the way she used to be. She used to be a lot like Damon. She would seduce, feed, and kill. It was an endless cycle with her. For centuries. Until one day something struck her. She saw what a horror she had become. And decided then and there things would be different. It wasn't easy, but she did it. Caroline took pride in the fact that she COULD control herself. That she DID overcome herself...but here she was contemplating if she really did overcome herself. Ever since she had come back, she started questioning herself. Questioning whether or not she really was a "good" vampire…or PERSON for that matter.
After she ate her rabbit for the night she got a shower and collapsed on her bed. She was wide awake by now and thoughts couldn't stop coming into her mind. Thoughts of the past and where she was right now. Then she thought she should leave. Leave this place and not come back. Compel everyone into forgetting her, especially Damon. Damon. She hadn't started feeling this way until she met him. She saw a reflection of who she used to be. The careless vampire. Not caring if people found your leftovers or not. Then her thoughts went to the kiss. At first it was forceful and hard, then it turned into something tender…the way she hasn't been kissed since..no, no let's not go there again. She had kissed men since she left HIM..but none of those kisses reminded her of him. Those were kisses that SHE enforced so she could feed off of her victim. It was a matter of survival…and personal amusement. Chills ran down her spine as memories of who she used to be swarmed into her brain. She needed to bury them again and not be reminded of them. After a lot of tossing and turning, she finally drifted into what turned into a fitful sleep.
Caroline dreamed that night. She dreamed about being lost in the woods. She was calling his name. Trying to find him in the darkness. But there was no answer. She felt alone and cold and almost…human again. She would choke between sobs and screech out his name. But still no answer. Her heart ached for his touch and for his protecting arms once again, but she could not find him. She felt like a part of her soul was missing, and try as she might, she couldn't get it. She saw a figure in the woods. A mans figure. Was it him? Yes! It must be! As she ran and her tears stopped falling, she saw the man. It was him! It was her heart, her soul, and her very life. As she touched him ,her turned around and the face she loved contorted into someone else. It was Damon. All he did was smirk at her and start to laugh at her. She kept yelling at him to stop, but it only made him laugh more. She felt weak and as if she was going out of her mind. All she wanted was for him to stop. She grabbed a stake and shoved it through his heart. Hoping that would silence him. As he shriveled in agony, his face changed to HIS. Her love. And all he said was, "You killed me…"
Caroline woke up screaming. She was drenched in sweat and felt as if she couldn't breath. Thankfully she didn't need to. If she were human she would've been "scared to death"…literally. The sun was shining and she decided to just get up, shower, and go somewhere. Anywhere. Somewhere that would make her forget her dream. She would do something that would help her block out the realities that laid bare before her, at least for a while. All she knew was that she had to leave this house, because for some reason whenever she was here, she would remember. And remembering was just too painful.
OKAY! So alot of emotions for Caroline running in this chapter. I want to make it clear that Caroline IS a very strong individual. She is fighting her demons though. She hasn't questioned herself since she came back "home." AND no she does NOT have "feelings" for Damon. Damon as I've said in the chapter is a REFLECTION of how Caroline USED to be. He is a "temptation" almost. Also the nightmare part was just something that sparked in my mind as I was writing this. This chapter is merely to prove that Caroline is like any other Original in TVD...she has a past, her own demons, and certain people or things set her off. Not alot of dialogue in this chapter because I want to get into Carolines mind and her emotions. I'll bring in more dialogue next chapter. Please leave me your questions, comments, and concerns. Also suggestions are quite nice as to where you the READER would like this story to go. Follow and review my lovelies! :)