Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I hope you enjoy the next chapter. The lotus is to do with the manga, Kanda sees lotus flowers everywhere.
Courtship for Dummies
Chapter Eight
Allen had been so stunned after what they were now referring to as the 'Lotus Incident' that they had decided to leave courting for the day and return to the library the following morning to come up with a new plan.
Lenalee was back under Komui's careful eye while Miranda sat opposite the two boys in the library, it looked like she had either forgiven or forgotten that Lavi had used her as an escape when faced with an angry Komui.
Lavi was unrepentant anyway, it was for a good cause and they had more important things to discuss.
"You went on a date?" It was Allen who was doing the questioning, walking behind Miranda, Lavi sat in front, nodding his head encouragingly while taking notes.
"Uh, Y-Yes."
"With Supervisor Komui?" Allen moved to stand just beside the woman.
"Y-Yes"
"And could you tell us how such an event came to pass?" Allen was now giving her a hard stare.
"I d-don't k-know."
"Unacceptable! You must tell me what happened yesterday, in the private room assigned to Allen Walker, after the aforementioned Allen Walker with Lavi, Bookman heir and Lenalee Lee, sister to supervisor Komui left the scene of the crime. If you are unable to comply I will be forced to use unnecessary force." Allen's fist slammed down on to the table in front of Miranda as she trembled in fright.
"Ma'am, I'd do as he says, he can get awful crazy when information is being withheld, we just want to know the truth, that's all, and then you'll be free to go. Is that okay?" Lavi asked Miranda kindly, entreating her to talk.
"W-Well, I was thrown onto Komui a-and then I w-was screaming a-and then he a-asked me out." Pleased that the woman had started to talk Allen removed his fist from the table.
"That's it?"
"Y-Yes."
"That's the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"
"Y-Yes."
"Very well, and what happened next?"
"I-I was shocked s-so I stopped s-screaming and he w-was looking at me s-so nicely that I-I agreed."
"I see. And did you enjoy this date of yours?"
"Y-Yes"
"Would you say it was a good date?"
"Y-Yes"
"What did you do?"
"H-He took me o-out to dinner."
"And you liked this? You felt properly romanced."
"Y-Yes"
"You felt you enjoyed this date so much that you agreed to see Komui again?"
"Y-Yes"
"Ma'am you may step down. Lavi did you get all that?"
Miranda sighed in relief as Allen finally stepped back and stopped staring down at her, his attention had been diverted to Lavi.
"Yes."
Lavi read over his notes to check he got everything down and then came to a conclusion about how Allen would continue his courtship of Kanda.
"So are you going to go scream at Kanda until he asks you out?"
However Allen hadn't come to the same conclusion and instead offered a different solution.
"I was thinking of just asking him out to dinner."
Lavi was doubtful that would work, they were talking about Kanda after all.
"Are you sure you don't want to go scream at him?"
Allen felt his next move was non-negotiable, there was an image he had to consider while trying to appeal to Kanda.
"I'm trying to be a man, I think I need to be the one doing the asking."
Lavi wished Allen luck, as did Miranda who had been forgotten by the other two exorcists until this point, when taking the time to recover from their interrogation. As they watched Allen leave the library a determined air to his stride Lavi hoped that he would come back alive.
Allen returned to the library, copious amounts of sweat dripping from his body.
"He didn't say yes then?"
Lavi inquired as Allen approached the table.
"What happened?"
Lavi purposely deposited a bag of pastries in front of his face and pointed at Timcampy as a silent warning that if Allen didn't tell them what had happened they would just have to see it from the golum's mouth. Allen understanding the threat immediately, complied.
"I asked him if he would like to join me for dinner. He tried to run me through with Mugen."
Allen hoped that a shot summary would be enough. He hoped in vain.
"Now let's try that once more but with details."
A pastry was dangled in front of the golum to emphasise the request and so reluctantly Allen reiterated.
"When I asked him to dinner, he didn't appreciate me…talking to him. So he drew out Mugen and told me he would kill me. I tried to explain that I wanted to treat him to dinner because there is more to food then just soba noodles. He went to attack and I ran. I finally managed to loose him by hiding in a cleaning cupboard."
Lavi was listening carefully to the younger man's description, not completely surprised by the outcome.
"Looks like he is finally starting to get annoyed with your advances." Mused Lavi out loud.
"What do you mean 'starting' to get annoyed? He gave me a black eye!"
"Yeah, but that aside he normally just shuts the door and ignores you. I think you need to be more subtle, wait here I'll be back in a minute."
As Lavi ran out of the library Miranda shrugged at Allen to show that she had no idea what the red head was up to either.
Five minutes later Lavi raced back into the library a pair of cat ears in his hands.
"They clip into your hair so you look like a human cat. See."
The exorcist demonstrated by attaching the ears to Miranda's head. Allen admitted that it did look like Miranda really had cat ears but was confused.
"That's nice, but how does that help me?"
"It's a gay thing, you just have to make yourself very clear to Kanda so that he knows exactly what you want from him, without saying anything, verbally or on paper. So all you have to do is give him the ears and remember don't say a word."
Allen nodded maybe talking wasn't his strong point, lately he found it harder to express himself clearly to Kanda. He took another look at the ears attached to Miranda's head and thought to himself, Kanda would look pretty cute with his hair down and cat ears fastened on. Imagining the older boy he mentally nodded to himself, yep, Kitty-Kanda would be pretty cute.
"What happened this time?"
"He thinks I've gone nuts."
"Oh?"
"I tried to give him the ears, I didn't say anything. He looked at them and asked me what I was doing, I shook my head and mimed that my lips were sealed. He gave me a weird look and told me that I'd finally lost it. He didn't take the ears and backed away slowly, trying not to make eye contact. I thought it would be best if he ran away instead of spearing me on Mugen if I followed"
"Damn, I thought he was definitely a cat. Keep the ears anyway, he'll probably look good as Kitty-Kanda, if you ever do manage to woo him.
Allen tried not to blush, was it so obvious that he wanted to see Kanda as a cute cat boy? Luckily for Allen neither of his two accomplices noticed his flushed faced, too busy in their own fantasies of cat boy Kanda.
A few minutes later, all three exorcists tuned back in to reality.
"I've found something that will help you." Lavi spoke gravely making sure to show Allen his serious face.
Having run out his own ideas for courtship Lavi had decided to scour the library for any useful information. What he had come across was golden; the book he was currently pushing towards Allen.
"What is it?" Allen hesitantly accepted the book.
"It's a manual for courtship."
Hearing those five words leave Lavi's mouth Allen was instantly excited, he knew Lavi would come through for him, this was it, this was what he needed, he was sure to succeed now. Pulling the book towards him eagerly he read the title aloud, ignoring the puerile image on the front of a woman being crushed against a man's bare chest. Although Allen had to admit he had a nice chest.
"Mills & Boon: Courting the Mistress of the Manor."
It would be brilliant Allen thought.
"Read it and we'll meet back here in a couple of days."
Lavi sounded immensely pleased with himself and for once Allen thought he deserved to and quickly nodded his ascent, impatient to start his research.
--TBC--