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Summary: Raph is sure he can't take Leo's almighty attitude any longer. He channels his rage through the Nightwatcher, a mask he puts on to beat down criminals of all kinds. However, when Raph (as the Nightwatcher) is captured by desperate criminals, he begins to realize how much he really needs a leader. He also might have found love in the process. RaphxOC, M/M SLASH! Don't like, don't read.

Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles.


The light of the morning shone into their room, allowing for Raph to see Flame in all of his rumpled glory. The former king wasn't quite awake yet, and Raph was aptly using his extra time to memorize the curves and contours of his lover's body.

He pulled Flame closer to him, carding that strange red hair between his fingers, reflecting. Ever since Raph had (very recently) discovered that there was a slight possibility for his participation in an intimate relationship, he had been scared out of his mind. He had thought he wouldn't know what to do, wouldn't be able to please his partner.

Flame's easy confidence had actually helped ease his fears, in hindsight, though Raph would never admit that. The redhead had shown remarkable patience, gingerly guiding Raph at times when coherency seemed impossible, reminding him to relax. Afterwards, Flame had given every indication of enjoying it as much as Raph had. Soon, they had both fallen asleep.

Now that he was awake, questions burned in Raph's mind. Did this mean they were in an official relationship of some sort? Flame didn't seem like the type to take being tied down like that lightly. Really, Raph didn't even know if the criminal would be interested in anything more in the future.

Living in a sewer did not mean Raph was blind to human customs. As far as he knew, all of this could have been nothing more than a one night stand for Flame. No attachments... Just physical. That was how it worked in the real world.

Reality struck hard.

...I've just lost my virginity to this guy, and he might not even care.

Raph didn't know if he could deal with the implications of that. He had developed a bit of a 'crush' on Flame before all of this had gone down, and he still wanted something more for them. It hadn't even occurred to him that he could be losing his chance for a relationship when he had allowed Flame to take him in the night. Though the sex had been fantastic, he'd much rather have had Flame's love later on.

He was just beginning to berate himself for his own stupidity when the subject of his apprehension stirred. Raph ran a hand through Flame's hair again, and said redhead "mmm'd" appreciatively.

"Morning," Raph said, boldly running his other hand up Flame's thigh under the sheets. He figured if Flame decided to vacate all illusions of a potential relationship, he could at least enjoy this time while he had it.

Flame carefully pulled his face from the pillow in which it had been buried for the last several hours, letting out a deep groan. His face was a little flushed and puffy, so Raph had to quickly stifle a laugh.

"Mornin'," Flame grumbled. He squinted against the sun filtering into the room and then rubbed his eyes, which of course only served to make them even puffier. "How are you feeling?"

Honestly, he was a little sore. "I'm fine."

Flame quirked a brow at him. "Just 'fine,' huh? I would've hoped to get something a little more than that."

Raph couldn't help grinning. "Okay, okay. You were spectacular. A real Casanova."

"Now you're just trying to butter me up," the redhead retorted half-heartedly, shivering as Raph's hand inched further up his thigh and settled against his lower back. Raph took the opportunity to pull Flame even closer, the redhead arching against his plastron.

"Is it working?"

A muffled 'yes' came from the crook of Raph's neck, where Flame had recently taken to re-exploring his territory, well-marked from the night before. Light nibbles on the sensitive skin there were soon making Raph forget his earlier worries. He allowed his eyes to flutter closed.

Raph almost started when harsh breath assaulted his neck, the following words making him dizzy. "Tell me..."

As Raph waited for Flame to finish his question, the redhead bit down so hard he surely drew blood. Raph gasped, and without his will, he jerked back a little bit. He opened his eyes to find Flame staring at him evenly, his gaze unreadable.

Flame repeated himself. "Tell me, Raphael, because I need to know. Whose are you?"

Looking almost ashamed, Flame buried his face in Raph's neck once more, leaving Raph to puzzle over the surprising inquiry. Immediately, Raph found himself wishing he could say he was his own. That he was independent, and strong, and didn't need anyone.

That had been true, for most of his life. Leo didn't have a handle on him, Donny and Mike certainly couldn't prevent him from doing whatever he wanted, when he wanted to. Even Master Splinter could no longer control him in that respect. But now...

Grudgingly, Raph had to admit there was a certain criminal who could dictate his actions, if he so wished. And if Flame really needed to hear that... Raph was powerless to deny him.

He rolled them so that Flame hovered above him once more, flashbacks of the previous night leaping into his mind unbidden. Flame himself had instantly forgone giving attention to Raph's neck in favor of studying his face, and Raph thought for a minute he was being too symbolic. Yellow eyes glinted down at him, brighter in the new light.

"Yours," Raph growled. He reached for Flame's hands, twining their fingers together as best he could.

Flame stared back at him dumbly. "Mine."

"Have been for a while now," Raph said, cocking his head to the side to shoot his lover an easy smirk. Inside, his heart was pounding.

Flame was shaking his head. "I'm not good for you, Raph. I want you, believe me, I do, but for your own protection-"

"I don't care about my own protection," Raph cut in, rolling his eyes. "I care about you. I love you."

It was a major admission, to say the least. Flame instantly stiffened above him, his mouth dropping open and then closing again. As the silence grew longer between them, Raph realized something horrific. His breath caught on a huge lump that was rapidly forming in his throat.

Flame wasn't going to say it back.

XXX

Flame's mind was running through a million and a half scenarios.

On one hand, he could return Raph's sentiment wholeheartedly, thus appeasing his lover and sending him to his death in one fell swoop. On the other, he could refuse to utter his feelings. Raph would never want to be with him again, get his heart broken, but... He would be alive, at least. Flame honestly wasn't sure which situation was worse.

As he struggled to decide on the lesser of two evils, he didn't fail to notice Raph's smirk fading, his eyes clouding. They were too shiny, too bright. Tears?

Flame gazed down at Raph, trying to send him some kind of message through his eyes alone. I can't tell you-I'm sorry-what am I supposed to do-please forgive me...

Who would want a partner who couldn't tell them that he loved them?

"Raph," he finally choked. "I can't..."

The ninja tensed under him, and Flame knew he had misunderstood his meaning. What could he do? What could he say? Nothing came to mind, and he hated himself for so many things all at once. He hated his eyes, his heritage, the look he was putting on Raph's face...

His nature.

Raph was squirming under him, trying to get away. Flame tried to find something to say, words, any words, but still nothing came out. It was all he could do to hold Raph in place, pleading with his eyes. Trying to make him understand, because he had to understand.

"Hold still-"

"Flame, let me up!"

"No."

"I get it. I know you can't love me; heck, if I were normal I wouldn't either. But at least leave me some dignity, here, okay?"

"I want you to stay here," Flame panted, straining. Raph was struggling harder now. He grabbed the red-banded turtle's wrists to better hold him down, mirroring the night before.

"Fat chance-"

"You will if I tell you to!" Flame all but snarled, pulling out the stern expression he used whenever he came across an unruly subordinate. He didn't necessarily mean to do so, he just defaulted. It was a mistake he knew would cost him dearly the minute a new fire ignited in Raph's eyes.

In a seemingly effortless motion, Raph threw Flame's lighter weight off of him. Flame felt a strange sense of similarity (pertaining to one of his earliest run-ins with Raph) right before he hit the solid wall on the far end of the room. He didn't think anything for a moment, then. For a time that seemed to stretch for minutes but in reality must have taken only a few seconds, he blacked out, left alone in his own little world of numb darkness. It was what he imagined hell to feel like.

Then just like that, he was back. Colors came, morphed into blurry shapes, sharpened. He vaguely registered that Raph had shrugged on his coat and escaped out the window. That is a bad thing, his mind supplied. Raph should stay with me.

Soon after this sparkling revelation, the rest of his mind came back to him. He'd lost his chance. Raph had basically declared his love for him, and Flame had blown it. All because of a stupid prophecy. He would have wished Marius eternal damnation, but the bastard was already there.

Flame reached behind his head, gingerly feeling around for any damage. Something wet... He withdrew his fingers, and hissed when they came away bloody. He stared for a long time at the new red coating on the tips, numbly aware of a softer part of himself dying inside. It was soon replaced with bubbling anger. Why couldn't he just feel like everyone else..?

In black rage, Flame scrambled for something to throw, to break, anything. He found a door-stopper, awkwardly wedged within the opening of a small storage closet. His fingers closed around it, and he flung it blindly toward the other side of the room. He didn't flinch when it crashed into a mirror, instantly shattering the fragile glass.

As soon as the anger had come, it left him. Flame held his head between his hands, feeling nothing but a creeping emptiness in his chest.

If a few salty tears escaped his eyes, he didn't notice.

XXX

Raph raced a memory home. It was the ghost of a rider he didn't care to see at the moment, much less imagine, but Flame's image seemed to keep up with him easily. He would turn a sharp curve, thinking he'd lost the redhead, only to find himself staring at what he knew in his mind to be empty space next to him, seeing a criminal smirk in his direction.

He had been stupid, stupid, stupid. To think that someone as normal-looking as Flame could possibly... No, he could find some attractive human to mess around with.

Raph knew he deserved to be loved. He believed in it, somewhat, and he wasn't willing to accept anything less. If Flame couldn't give that to him... Well.

There was no chance.

Something in Flame's expression earlier that morning still haunted Raph, though. It was almost as if he had been trying to express something he couldn't quite get out, and Raph couldn't imagine what that could have been. Cold wind rushed around him, permeating even his thick coat, and Raph relived another memory.

Flame, flying through the air. Hitting the wall with a dramatic thud. Sinking to the floor. A part of Raph desperately hoped he was alright, while another part took pleasure at the memory of Flame's grimace when his head had hit the wall hard.

He pulled into the trashed alleyway that held the manhole he had used to enter and exit the sewers all of his life, and sniffed curiously. Something here seemed off... The alley seemed a little too well-trodden, the smell a little too unfamiliar. Raph couldn't quite put his finger on it. Shrugging to himself, he justified his paranoia using the recent stress he had been under. After all, the city was always changing. New smells could have been drifting from anywhere nearby.

Raph dismounted his bike and pushed it the rest of the way into the alley. He was just about to open the garage door when something sharp came from the rooftops, firmly embedding itself in his arm. He glanced over his shoulder at the tiny object... A dart, which had already emptied its' contents into his circulation system. He wavered on his feet, struggling to stay upright, but the darkness at the edges of his vision was growing rapidly. His limbs felt weak.

He saw a few humanoid shapes lunge toward him before he passed out from dizziness.


You see, Raph has this chronic problem of being kidnapped.. We've been trying to get him away from it, but he just won't take instruction! Stay tuned for Flame's reaction: Will he rescue Raph, or no? Is he even going to go after him to find out what happened? You'll have to see!

My heart aches for the guys in this chapter.. Just when I thought they had crap figured out..

Please R&R!

-DauntlessAdrenaline