Chapter Six

Sometime as the sky was beginning to lighten Bella's breathing became deep and even. For the longest time we had sat there unmoving, Bella's cheek snuggled into my palm, her eyes closed contently, affection radiating off her. Her dark hair fell down her shoulders, tickling my arm as it brushed against me softly. At last she shifted, uncomfortable, but still content. I grabbed some pajamas for her and turned away as she changed. Bella was still sitting upright on the bed, looking at me when I turned around.

"It's late," I told her, readying myself to use my powers if necessary.

"I don't have school tomorrow," she countered, her chin jutting defiantly.

"You don't want to mess up your sleeping habits. And you look like you need a good night's sleep," I insisted. She'd probably been having nightmares.

"I don't want to." Bella sounded like a whining child and I chuckled slightly.

"Why not?" I asked at the same time I rose to force her under the covers. Bella knew better than to try and resist, but it was more than that. She suddenly seemed very small, anxious and a bit defeated. I frowned. "Bella, what's wrong?" Perhaps I had scared her too much earlier. I didn't mean to, but she just needed to understand the danger I posed to her life. I brought the covers up to her chin but she grabbed my hand before I could pull away, tugging at it until I let her bring my cool hand to her face.

She held my hand to her face and breathed in my scent. Her eyes were closed now, but her cheeks were wet. "I'm scared."

I felt affection flood through me. Bella looked so vulnerable, her tiny frame quivering and pain still etched across her features despite my calming waves. "I won't let anything hurt you," I promised.

"Not that," she muttered, burying her face in my hand and gripping it even more tightly.

I was perplexed now. "What, then?"

"I'm scared that this is just a dream. And that I'm going to wake up and I'll find out that none of this was real. No vampires, no Edward. No you." I knew my heart would have clenched had it still been beating. "And I don't want it to have been a dream."

I leaned down next to her, brushing the tears from Bella's face gently. Always gentle, I couldn't allow myself to hurt her again. Her nose was turning pink and her breathing labored from trying to control her tears. I decided then and there. "I'm real. I'm here. I won't leave you. I promise."

Bella peeked up at me and smiled, her chin still quivering slightly. She brushed some hair from my face so that she could look into my eyes and hit me with the full force of her emotions. It was staggering, the love and adoration that was spilling forth from her. I didn't deserve this; no one could ever deserve such a love. "Me too," she mumbled sleepily. "I won't leave you. I promise." And she fell asleep.

It might have seemed insignificant to Bella, this little exchange of promises, but to me it was one of the most important moments in my existence. I cradled her face long after she had fallen asleep, stared at the human before me in amazement. I wondered if this is how Edward felt. To have someone so innocent, so perfect, love you and trust you, even when you could kill them with more ease than drawing a breath. To have them find comfort in you, think you were remarkable even though there was nothing incredible about you in the first place. How could Edward leave this? How could I?

No. I would protect her, especially from myself. I sighed. God I sounded terribly cliché. I studied Bella all the while she slept, memorizing the contours of her face, how her dark lashes fluttered whenever she talked in her sleep. I got a little thrill of excitement when my name came forth from the jumble of Charlie, Renee, and Jacob's. Of course, this didn't quite explain the jealousy I felt when Bella murmured Edward's name, as though she was caressing it. I had to hide in Bella's closet when Charlie peeked his head in then crept over to give Bella a kiss on her forehead sometime around 5 am.

While Bella still slept I shrugged out of the clothes I'd been living in the past week and put on a fresh set. I had no idea what we'd do today, but I wanted to be ready for anything, so I stole downstairs and flipped through an old cookbook to find a breakfast recipe. After settling on crepes, I was frustrated to find that I was lacking a few of the ingredients. No matter, I could run to the store and be back before Bella awoke. Or so I thought, until I felt the tumult of emotions as I neared the house on the return trip.

I didn't think twice as I discarded the groceries on the table and scooped up Bella, whispering soothing words to her as she hiccoughed into silence. "I told you I wasn't leaving," I told her gently as she tried to stem the flow of her tears on my shirt.

"I'm s-sorry. It's just a habit I guess," she half joked. "Ugh. I cry too much."

"Why don't you go clean up?" I suggested, and Bella nodded, climbing the stairs to grab her things for a shower. So this was the first obstacle, I thought, as I brought out the remaining ingredients for the crepes and began measuring and mixing them. Get Bella secure enough in my promise to know that I wouldn't run off the first chance that I got. Easier said than done.

**

I'd never been one to appreciate the dark much, but lately I couldn't have been more grateful, or confused for that matter, by the blackness that surrounded us. Charlie being gone on a fishing trip left the house quite a free and safe place for me to stroll around in. We ended up watching movies on the couch of the living room. In jest I had tried to frighten Bella by playing a scary movie, something about vampires [just to be ironic], and turning off the lights. It had been fine for the half of the movie, until Bella had gotten up to use the bathroom. When she returned she stumbled on her way to the couch, landing on top of me unceremoniously. Normally I would not have thought any more on it but for the sharp jolt of electricity that shot through me upon contact with her soft skin.

I froze, my mind going blank for a moment as I fought with more primal instincts. This was Bella after all. I shouldn't be feeling anything for her, more than sisterly affection. And yet the almost unquenchable desire to stroke her face, run my fingers along her jaw, feel the warmth of her skin on mine burned at me.

"Sorry," Bella mumbled, pushing off of me and sitting down on the other side of the couch.

"It's what I'm here for," I tried to joke, but it sounded forced. Bella sat rigidly on the other side of the couch, her eyes staring at the television, but her hands were clenched and folded under her arms and she was biting her lip worriedly. I forced my eyes back to the screen but ended up just thinking anyway. I must have imagined the shock, the sudden tension between us. Bella was probably just frightened by the movie. After all, I loved Alice and Bella loved Edward. Despite everything that fact still rang true.

No matter that Alice had let me go away. That Edward left Bella. The love between both pairs was unbreakable, that much was true. It was just this damned darkness. After all, I was no stranger to the heightened passions that erupted in human teenagers when the lights went down. But this was just preposterous. I was a vampire, more than a century old, and yet here I was contemplating kissing Bella senseless, my brother's love and wife's best friend nonetheless!

A little part of me argued that I could use those terms loosely. Edward had all but abandoned the family, and Alice…I gulped, unable to think any more on that topic. No, I loved Bella, but it was platonic. I loved her like Emmett loved her, a little sister and nothing more.

Despite my new resolve, the second half of the movie was still hell. I didn't watch it at all, and it didn't seem Bella was either. It was relief when the movie ended and I quickly rose to turn the lights back on. It was late now, and Bella was yawning. I followed her up the stairs and waited patiently as she went through her nightly routine. "At least I know I don't have to be afraid of vampires," she muttered, climbing under the covers and reaching over to turn off the bedroom light. I was loath for her to do so, and my suspicions proved me right. The moment the lights clicked off I could feel desire pool into me.

"Bella," I said softly, crouching down next to her.

"Mmm?"

"I'm going to go hunt," I told her quietly. It was as good an excuse as any. She peeked up at me, her brow furrowing in worry once again. "I'll be back in the morning. I won't break my promise." She sighed contentedly then and snuggled deeper into her covers.

I jumped out the window and took off, as far away from the Swan house as possible while staying within the state. I drank heartily from a couple of deer. At least I was able to quench one thirst that night.

**

Inevitably Monday came, and Bella was loath to go back to school. Bella insisted that I stay home, but I ignored her warnings and drove her to school myself. It was just my luck that Mike Newton would be waiting for her on this day of all days. For a moment he stared at me and Bella swore softly under her breath. "I told you to stay home," she muttered, and I could feel the growing tension within her.

Surprisingly I could feel intense waves of jealousy coming off the Newton kid, and it amused me slightly. When I heard him mutter angrily, "All this time and I still haven't gotten my chance," I cracked a smile. Bella shooed me off, but I merely drove a bit down the road, parked Bella's truck on the side and ran back to catch the rest of Mike's interrogation of Bella. I swiftly climbed up one of the trees and canvassed the scene below me.

"What are you doing with Jasper Hale?" Clearly the platitudes had already been said, and now Mike was jumping head first into what he wanted to ask. Never had much sense, that one.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked, defensively.

Mike stared at her shrewdly. His confusion was clear on his face; you didn't have to be an empath to see that much. "I mean, are they back, the Cullens? I didn't ask last time, because I thought, I dunno, that maybe I was seeing things. That maybe it wasn't him, but…Jasper Hale." My name was an accusation, almost as if he was questioning whether or not Bella and Edward had broken up and she was with me. I dismissed the strange thrill of happiness at the thought.

Bella grabbed the front of her shirt, and I could feel the pain beginning to surface again. I growled softly, but didn't interfere. I didn't want to give myself away. "No, they aren't back," Bella said slowly, and I could tell each word was physically hurting her to say.

"Then why did Jasper Hale drive you to school?" Mike insisted.

"What does it matter who drives me to school!" Bella exclaimed, anger getting the best of her at last.

"So you're seeing Hale now!" Mike accused, and I could tell that not only was he jealous, but frustrated and upset as well.

Bella's eyes narrowed. "Who I see or don't see is none of your business," she replied acidly, her voice dangerously low.

"You kissed him!" Mike cried, his temper getting the best of him. For a moment I was stunned; when had Bella kissed me, exactly? I wracked my brain, the images floating up easily. The first time had been that quick peck I gave her to discourage the other girls, then the ice incident. Ah yes, I suppose that you have looked like a kiss to anyone other than Bella and myself. I focused back on Bella to see her looking both dumbstruck and indignant, her cheeks a nice pink.

"Mike Newton, you have absolutely no right or authority to talk to me like this," Bella said quietly.

Mike seemed to sense the danger and back tracked. "Look, I'm sorry Bella. I was just surprised is all." He held up his hands, palms facing her in a gesture of surrender. "Forgive me?" Bella glared at him still, shifting from one foot to the other, glancing around as more students filed in. "Do you really want to be stuck with Jessica all day?" he asked teasingly and Bella snapped her head up, horrified.

"All right, fine," she conceded, and Mike grinned like an idiot. How could she put up with him?

"Great!" Mike enthused, and slung his arm around her shoulders as though the little incident had never happened. "We can face Jessica's Fascist Rule of Gossiping together!" Bella laughed, and my eyes narrowed. I had the sudden urge to jump down and forcibly rip the two apart. Seeing Mike sling his arm so casually over her shoulder, to hear her laugh at him so easily brought my temper to the surface. How Bella could switch from wanting to hurt him to being his friend again was beyond me. It took a moment to process, but then oh god. I realized I was jealous.

The rest of the day wasn't any better. The more I watched, okay stalked, Bella, the more I had to analyze my own feelings. I had come to rationalize my sudden, unexplained emotions as those of an older brother being overprotective. I didn't like the way Mike tagged along beside her all day like some lost puppy, how Tyler walked her to her class after lunch, or the way Eric would chat her up as they walked to the last class of the day. My mood had turned foul, so when I picked up Bella later that afternoon I was a bit gruffer with her than I intended.

"Had a good time at school?" I asked bitingly.

Bella sighed, seemingly oblivious with my mood. "I guess. Mike was a bit annoying though." I smiled despite myself, suddenly appeased. Bella finished buckling herself in and I revved her truck to life. "How was your day?" she asked. Had I still blood flowing through me, I'm sure I would have flushed slightly.

It was great; I spent it stalking you from afar. "It was fine," I replied, pulling out and carefully keeping my eyes on the road, fighting the urge to run over Mike Newton as he walked across the way, his back to me.

There was silence, and I looked inquisitively at Bella as I pulled onto the highway. She was biting her lip, a line of worry creasing her forehead. "Bella?" She looked up at me, her eyes searching my face for a moment before she took a deep breath.

"Aren't you bored?" she asked, the words rushing from her mouth before she could lose her nerve.

I stared at her incredulously. How could I be bored? She was so interesting; I knew exactly how Edward felt. "Never," I replied.

"Okay," Bella said, playing with one of the straps on her bag.

"Aren't you bored with me?" I asked jokingly, but curious nonetheless. Surely she could do better things than spend all her time holed up in her room at home with a vampire.

Bella's head snapped up and she gaped at me. "Bored?" she asked, looking at me as if I was insane. "How on earth could I be bored?"

I chuckled. "Now you know how I feel," I told her, secretly pleased by her reaction. Bella colored a little but still smiled as she stared out the window.

Still, I had to admit that the time not spent with Bella was exceptionally dull. With no Emmett to wrestle with, Esme to coddle me or Alice to…well without anyone else to talk to I suppose things got a bit…dull. "Let's go for a walk," I told Bella as soon as I pulled up in the driveway.

"What?" Bella asked reflexively, and I waited a moment for what I said to sink in. "Oh, all right." I waited outside while Bella put her bag away then sighed impatiently when the phone rang. At last she made her way outside. "Sorry. It was Charlie. He said he's not going to be home for dinner because he had to go up to another county to help the police department with something."

That was good at least. We'd have more time to hike without Charlie worrying about where Bella was. I figured that her woods were as good a place as any to start, seeing as how we'd get where I wanted no matter where we started. The walk was spent in companionable silence for the first part, Bella tripping on the occasional root. After about half an hour of silence she finally spoke.

"Where are we going?"

I pointed to the top of a nearby mountain. "Right there."

Bella gaped at me. "You expect me to walk all the way up there?"

"Of course not," I told her as I grabbed her arm and slung her across my back. "We're going to run." Bella's shrieks were mingled with fear and excitement, but she kept her eyes closed the entire way. It took an hour to get there, because Bella had to sit down several times for feeling nauseous.

"Sorry," she gasped, her head between her knees as she tried to ground herself once more.

"We're almost there. We can walk the rest of the way if you'd prefer," I tried to encourage.

"Yes," Bella replied, slowly standing. I turned and began leading the way up the mountain when I felt a tug on my shirt. Looking down I could see Bella blushing, her eyes averted. "In case you forgot, I'm incredibly clumsy." How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but was stopped when Bella's hand found my own. "Is it okay if we walk like this? It helps my balance."

My mouth dropped open in shock for a moment at the feel of her warm, small hand in mine. I managed to turn the tender moment into one less serious by chuckling slightly. "Of course." I wondered if she felt the fire on her own skin that she ignited on mine.

Bella was right in respect to her clumsiness. We had barely gone twenty feet when she tripped on a stone and fell in a sitting position. Embarrassed she tried to let go of my hand to brush herself off, but I snatched her hand back in mind and pulled her up in my arms. Bella let out a rather undignified squawk and I grinned down at her. "Don't worry, I'll go slow." Still she clamped her eyes shut and didn't open them again until we got to the top.

"You can look now," I told her as I reached the level ground at the pinnacle. Below was a sea of green, misty white clouds swirling just below us.

"You never cease to amaze me," Bella muttered, her hands still interlocked behind my neck. "We're so high up."

I sat down quickly, causing her heart to jolt. "I won't let you fall." Bella crawled out of my lap to sit down next to me, and silence reigned for a stretch as we watched the sun make its descent in the sky. "I used to come up here to be alone sometimes," I confessed to her. Bella didn't speak, just let me feel her surprise and hear her unasked questions. "And for privacy," I amended. "When you're stuck in a house where your own thoughts and decisions aren't private, ever, it gets tiresome."

"I think I know what you mean."

"And it's calm. I don't have to be flooded with a hundred other emotions."

I dared a glance in Bella's direction as the sun slipped behind the horizon. She seemed content, her face free of any worry, and the feeling swallowed me whole. I could sit here for eternity with the promise that Bella's feelings brought to me. Her hair blew slightly in the breeze, surrounding me in a thick wave of her scent. The blood lust was still there, I doubt it would ever go away, but it was less; it was bearable.

The rain came suddenly and with a vengeance, darkening the sky completely after only fifteen minutes after sundown. Bella shrieked, trying to shield herself to no avail. I felt a tug on my shirt and I looked down to see Bella shivering. I grabbed her hand to pull her to a nearby cave and felt the electric shock come back full force. Bella shrugged out of her heavy overcoat and used the damp material to try and dry her hair. The rain was coming down in torrents, and while this wouldn't have bothered me I knew I couldn't bring Bella all the way down the mountain in one stretch; the rain was coming down hard enough to hurt her.

Sitting there side by side with darkness pressing in on us felt very private. I knew I should be worried about Charlie, about him coming home and not being able to find Bella. But some other part of me reasoned that we still had several hours before he got home. And besides, I couldn't help myself from stealing glances at the girl shivering beside me. I removed my own coat to remove the underlying sweater and handed it to Bella. She tried to refuse but I pulled it over her head.

"I'm a vampire. Weather doesn't bother me."

Bella struggled to get her arms through the sleeves then worked on tugging her hair out from underneath the cotton. The sweater wouldn't hold any warmth yet, but it would protect her from the chill winds. I reached over and pulled her hair out for her, idly noting in the back of my mind that I could never do such a thing with Alice. And there it was again, the strong flush of excitement flooded through me as I felt her skin, the heartbeat thudding gently.

"Jasper?"

My eyes snapped back to Bella's face, taking note of the worried look. The warm eyes, rosy cheeks and lips. Oh god, they looked so inviting. I did it before I knew what I was doing. Hell, I'd never been one for self-control anyway, according to any other member of my family, so why start now?

I used the hand still locked in Bella's hair to pull her closer to me but stopped a millimeter away from her, my eyes searching her face while I tested her emotions to determine if I should go ahead or stop. It took all but a fraction of a second, but it was long enough for me to decide that it was okay. I pressed my lips against hers softly; they were warm and inviting, and her scent swirled around me in an enticing way. I slanted my lips over hers, pressing firmly but gently against her mouth, exceedingly careful as I recalled just how breakable she could be.

I was worried for a moment. Bella didn't move she just stared at me with open eyes, shock radiating through her entire being as I tried to coax her lips to life. After another second I began to pull back, fear suddenly coursing through me that I had made the wrong move. But the instant that Bella registered my movement she pressed forward, her hands finding their way around my neck and into my hair.

She was enthusiastic to say the least, her mouth yielding to mine easily as I traced her bottom lip with my tongue. She opened her mouth willingly and fought for dominance with my own tongue. And god! Bella tasted so sweet. She was so soft and delicate and warm and delicious. I felt a new hunger awaken within me and I struggled with myself for a moment. If I didn't stop soon I wouldn't be able to stop at all. And yet Bella's tongue was coaxing mine, her hands moving from my hair to my shirt, timid but curious as to what was underneath. I moaned as her warm hands slipped under my shirt and left a blazing trail up my chest. I definitely had to stop this now.

"Bella," I breathed, breaking free of her mouth. She merely tried to recapture my lips, and I had to gently pry her hands free of their explorations and hold her still. Her eyes widened and I could feel the beginnings of fear and rejection spiking up within her. I leaned against her, burying my face in the crook of her neck and breathing in her scent again. I nearly lost my resolve then and there. "I think I finally understand how Edward feels," I muttered for my own benefit, half-hoping she would here, half-scared she would.

I noticed the flesh of Bella's neck redden slightly, the sudden wave of confusion and nerves strong enough to cause me to look up. Bella had a hand pressed against her mouth, her eyes wide. She dropped her hand, meaning to say something, but no words came out. Realization hit me then, as the passion of the moment seceded, and I felt my own face take on a worried look.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself."

"No!" she cried, startling me. "I mean. It was great, I just. I feel…I mean, Alice and Edward…" she trailed off, her eyes downcast as new emotions of sadness erupted from her.

"Oh." There was nothing else to really say, and I was now beginning to feel guilty about the whole thing. But I didn't regret it. I tried my best to send some calming waves towards Bella as the rain thundered on. It worked well enough if we didn't catch each others eye as we surreptitiously looked at one another. It worked well enough for the twenty minutes that we spent waiting for the rain to let up. At last I determined that the rain had slowed enough to not cause Bella any physical harm if I ran down the mountain.

"Come on," I told her, helping her stand. "Put this on." I handed her my coat and she tugged it on over my sweater. I opened my arms for her and she hesitated for a moment, caught between embarrassment and fear. Then she stepped forward and I pulled her up into my arms. "Hold tight," I murmured to her then took off down the mountain.

The return trip was much quicker, and Bella didn't even ask to be put down once. Luckily Charlie wasn't yet home as I slowed to a walk on the Swan driveway. Once inside I sat Bella down on the couch and she finally opened her eyes. I ran upstairs to get her a blanket and grab her pajamas while she began peeling off the layers of soaked clothing.

"What would you like to eat?" I asked, strolling into the kitchen as she pulled on her pajamas.

"I think there is some leftover lasagna," she called.

I opened the fridge, my nose wrinkling at the unappealing food. And they thought drinking blood was weird.

A/N: First, I am so sorry about the terribly long wait! I thank all of you who have waited patiently to read this! Secondly, ugh! I feel so blah about their kiss, what do you guys think? I mean, I've been trying to find a way to do this, and this is all I came up with. I don't know! Please let me know what you think!

Thanks to Katja1982, whose review let me add a bit more to this chapter in regards to Mike.

So let me know what you guys think, and if you have any suggestions and comments or questions! Thank you all so much!