Chapter Thirteen

I was frozen in place, in time, staring at the two vampires before me. I would have been fine except for the unexpected presence. Alice I could deal with; I'd prepared for it, thought about it, steeled myself for the confrontation, but Edward? Edward was a most unwelcome surprise.

They took a step forward in unison and I stepped backward, my grip tightening on Bella. "Jasper?" she whispered. Her shock, her pain and desperation were overwhelming.

My eyes traveled between Alice and Edward and I tried to gauge their emotions. Relief, worry, anger, confusion, hurt; it was all too much. I opened my mouth to say something, but my throat was stuck. For all my charisma, I honestly couldn't string together two words right now.

"Jasper?" I looked down at Bella, her eyes wide and wet. She was shaking from silent sobs, shaking her head back and forth. I knew what she needed, even if she didn't. I used my power to put her to sleep and Bella fell limp in my arms. I couldn't let her deal with Edward this way. If it had just been Alice, sure, but Edward too? It would be too much. Hell, it was too much for me.

"Jasper." I hated how their voices melded together, a perfect harmony grating at my nerves.

I said the first thing that popped into my head. "I need to put Bella in her bed." I breezed past the two members of my family and deftly jumped through Bella's window. They followed behind silently. I took my time and great care in placing Bella in her bed, tucking her in securely and then placing another blanket on top of her. I brushed the hair off her face and was just able to stop myself from leaning forward to kiss her forehead. At last I couldn't waste any more time and I turned around to face them.

It took a lot of courage, but I finally looked into their eyes. Edward first; he was confused mostly. And happy. So happy. I knew why; Bella. I wanted to wipe that smile off his face.

Then Alice. My lovely Alice. It took all of one sixteenth of a second for her to leap across the distance and wrap her arms around me. I inhaled her scent and my body reacted without my mind, holding her closer to me.

"You're alive," she whispered, her voice trembling. "You're alive."

Bella moaned in her sleep behind me and brought me back to reality. Abruptly I set Alice down and stared at her. "Of course I'm alive," I said. "What are you doing here?"

"Alice had a vision and suddenly it went blank," Edward explained, staring at me curiously, his forehead wrinkled in concentration. It didn't escape my notice that he was sitting on the side of Bella's bed, too afraid to touch her but wanting to be close to her anyway. I realized with surprise intensity that this upset me greatly. I forced myself to keep my mouth shut and focused on Alice, careful not to think anything about Bella.

But it was too late.

Alice gave a sharp glance to Edward as he stared at me, his mouth open in surprise, and Alice was taken by a sudden vision. "Jasper," she said slowly, in a tone I didn't like. "I think we need to talk."

I hesitated, shifting on my feet. All hell was about to break loose, that much was for sure. I could already feel the storm raging in Edward, and the flurry of emotions begin to build up in Alice.

"Yes," I stated, more roughly than I'd have liked. But I wasn't about to leave Bella alone with Edward in case she woke up. "Can I borrow your phone?"

Edward handed his cell to me, his face a mixture of rage and disgust. I jumped down to the forest and ran just far enough away to keep an ear out for Bella. The phone rang twice before it was picked up.

"Hello?" Jacob's tired voice came floating through the line.

"Jacob."

Jacob shifted the phone, yawning. "Jasper. What's wrong? Did something happen?"

I sighed. "Listen, we've got some complications." Jacob waited patiently for me to find a way to explain. "Look, Alice showed up right after the meeting. But the problem is that Edward is with her." I waited out his string of curse words, feeling exactly the same way he was. "I know. Look, do you mind coming over to Bella's? I know you're tired, I'm sorry. But I'm going to have to resolve things with both of them, and I don't want Bella to be alone with either of them in the event that she wakes up."

"Yeah," Jacob said. "Yeah, give me ten minutes, I'll be there."

I sighed, relieved. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. And…good luck."

I smiled slightly as I hung up the phone. The little reassurance that Jacob was on my side was the small confidence boost I needed to be able to face Alice and Edward. I waited outside for a few minutes, trying to stall for time, but after five minutes Alice and Edward joined me. I returned Edward's phone and took in the set of his jaw.

Alice came up to me, craning her head to get a better look at my face, her own features set in hurt and anger.

Alice tugged my hand, urging me away from Edward and Bella.

"Stop it," Edward said quietly.

I narrowed my eyes at him, getting ready to tell him I could damn well think about whomever the hell I wanted, but Alice interjected, shooting a glare at Edward and tugging my hand again. "Jasper lets go talk."

I shook my head. "In a few minutes, I'm waiting for someone." The next four minutes were excruciating. The air was so thick with tension that I nearly buckled under the weight of it. Of course it didn't help that Alice and Edward were having a mental conversation.

Suddenly Alice gasped. "It's happened again!" she cried.

Edward snarled at something in the forest but I held up my hand. "Jacob?" I called. A moment later he emerged, tying the band of his sweats.

"Jasper," Jacob greeted, coming to stand beside me against Edward and Alice's crouched figures.

I turned to him after telling Edward that Jacob was going to stay with Bella while we all sorted things out. Edward growled. "Bella's asleep in her room. Charlie won't check on her; he's sleeping in late today." I gave Jacob a meaningful look and he clasped me on the shoulder as he walked towards Bella's window.

Edward let out a low hiss. "What is that dog doing here?"

I felt a surprising need to defend Jacob. "Jacob," I said, stressing his name. "Is here to watch Bella."

Edward opened his mouth to retort, but Alice cut him off. "Edward, don't. I need to talk to Jasper, and so do you. Go stay with Bella if you're so worried."

My satisfaction as I watched Edward sulk off lasted a fraction of a second as Alice called my name again. She began to walk deeper into the forest and I followed her, feeling a lot like a kid who got in trouble with his teacher.

After a while she stopped, not turning around to face me yet. "I thought you were dead," she whispered, and I could tell she wanted to cry.

"Why would you think that?" I asked, perplexed.

Alice rounded on me, livid. "Because one moment I'm just having these little flashes, whispers of visions of you and Bella, then the next I see Laurent and Dustin attacking you and then everything goes black!"

I cringed back from her as though she had slapped me. Alice had only yelled at me twice before, and things were not going well then either. "What do you mean everything went black?" I tried again.

"You're future! It just disappeared altogether!" Alice cried, her voice high. "Do you know how worried I was, how devastated? Jasper I thought you were dead!" Alice was heaving from her exertion. "But I come back and you're not. And I was so happy," she told me, her voice falling to a whisper.

"I was so happy. But then I find out this. This…" she shook her head, spluttering, trying to find a word. Finally she turned her eyes on me and they were full of hurt. It was as bad as if she had slapped me. "I thought they were just flukes, little flashes because I missed you so much. And I did as you asked; I didn't look for you or your future. But I'm so attuned to you I couldn't help it. I thought maybe I was going crazy, Jasper. Because why would you kiss Bella? Why would you hold her while she slept? Hold her hand and embrace her like you did?

"I tried to rationalize it. It was a combination of missing Edward, Bella and you, all mixed up and distorted into these false visions. Because you love me and you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't forget how much we mean to each other. How much I love you." Alice paused, eyeing me, giving broken, tearless sobs. "But they were all true, weren't they," she stated more than asked as my silence lengthened. "You really did kiss her. You lie next to her at night. You cook for her. You love her."

It wasn't the words but the tone that made me snap. Alice was accusing me.

"Do you want to know why I left, Alice?" I asked her quietly, folding my arms across my chest as a form of shield. "Why I had to get out of that house?" Alice stared at me, confusion and curiosity marring her distraught face.

"I left because I could feel it, just like I feel it now. The accusation, the despair. How you all pretended that everything was okay while our family fell apart."

"I never blamed you," Alice insisted, defensive.

I let out a mirthless laugh. "You didn't have to. But you felt it, and you can't deny it. Even now I can feel it. I know what you're thinking: What would have happened if Jasper hadn't tried to kill Bella on her birthday? We'd still be living in our cozy world; Bella and Edward would be happily trying to get through high school; the family would be just fine. But it's not fine. Even before I tried to kill her, things weren't going well were they? I could feel it; Edward was so unsure of himself, unsure of his love and his control. And luckily he got a scapegoat not too much later.

"I could feel it from everyone, no matter how silent they were in that respect. I could feel the accusation and blame emanating from them when they thought I wasn't there, when they talked in whispers about what to do. I'll be fair, I know that they still love me, that they didn't want me to leave, but I couldn't stay there knowing the one person I love most in the world was going right along with the rest of the coven, loving me on the outside but secretly blaming me."

Alice's face fell and she looked ashamed. "I'm sorry Jazz. I didn't know you felt that way." She looked so upset that I felt bad. "You know that I always do my best to help you with your control. It's just that I can't foresee everything, and the others were just upset. I was upset; Edward wasn't very happy and then I didn't even say goodbye to Bella; and everyone was unhappy. It's not that I blamed you-"

"Don't," I said sharply, and Alice stared back at me with wide eyes. "Sorry," I sighed. "I didn't mean to be so rude." Alice walked up to me, her eyes glistening and after a moment I wrapped my arms around her.

"I didn't mean to blame you. It was just a hard time for everyone," she told me quietly. "I love you so much Jasper, you know I do. And I missed you every day. It felt like a piece of me was missing. Everyday I wondered where you were, what you were doing. I wasn't sure if you were okay or if you were in pain. I felt dead." Alice looked up at me, her face bleak. "Didn't you miss me at all?" she asked.

This was not going the way I thought it would. I had expected Alice to be angry, to yell at me, not to act defeated and hopeless. And as I stared at her I could begin to remember why I loved her in the first place: her gentle demeanor, energetic personality, her crop of hair that exemplified all her best qualities.

"Of course," I said. "How couldn't I?" And as I said it a dozen memories rushed forward. Alice and I getting married. Alice stopping me from attacking a human. Alice unwrapping her birthday gift from me. Hundreds of little moments that were testaments to our love.

But even as these memories rose to the surface, other memories interrupted them. Bella sleeping. Bella smiling at me. Bella flying a kite. Bella cooking breakfast. Bella doing her homework.

"I love you," Alice told me. And I could feel it, feel the love radiating off of her, despite everything. My hesitation caught her attention. "Bella?" she asked, and at last her tone was a bit more indignant, on the verge of true anger.

I released Alice and took a deep breath. "Alice, you know I love you. God, I love you. But Bella is…god, she's fascinating. All the time I've spent with her is so precious to me. She understands me in a way that not even you do. And every moment that I've spent with her just confuses me, blurs the line of my love. I just…I need to talk to her."

In fact, the longer I was away from her the more worried I got. I couldn't bear to leave her alone for more than five minutes anymore. I looked at Alice for a long while and felt my heart melt once again. All the draw of first love was pulling at me as though she were a magnet. I love her.

"Alice, you know I love you. That won't ever change."

"How can you say that when you tell me you love someone else?" she whispered to me.

I felt awful. But what was I going to say? I loved Alice, but I also loved Bella. Bella knew this, just as surely as I knew she loved Edward as well as me.

"I can't apologize for loving Bella," I told her slowly, "but I am sorry that I've hurt you." And I'm sorry that maybe I don't love you enough anymore to forget about Bella. It was a slow truth to realize, that I was able to function without Alice. For a good part of my existence, my life was centered on Alice. Her optimism and jollity kept me grounded, gave me hope for the future. I depended on her to prevent me from making mistakes, from slipping up. Alice was my everything.

And yet I was surprised by how quickly, how naturally I fell in love with Bella. Being around her was like taking a breath of fresh air. I gladly centered my life around her; I didn't want to do anything else. And Bella's independent and erratic nature always brought me new surprises and peace; I never knew how she would react, and yet whatever the outcome I was always peaceful, as if this was natural and perfect. I didn't have to worry about the future beyond the time I had with her, because I was perfectly content as things were. And while Alice prevented my slip-ups, Bella saved me from them. She saved herself multiple times and even helped me gain control over my stronger urges. Bella completed me.

"Jasper, I don't understand," Alice told me softly. "Are you someone else now? Do you just need time? I don't know what's going on, I don't know what to do," she told me. I could bring myself to say anything to her and she let out another tearless sob, frustration and hurt battling for dominance. When I couldn't even bring myself to comfort her, Alice cried harder. At last she looked up at me, then stared at a spot just to my left.

"Okay," she whispered. "I guess there's nothing left to say. But Jasper," and here Alice looked at me. "Just know I'm here whenever you need me. I'll wait for you. I love you." Alice took my hand in hers, interlacing our fingers. "Come back to me," she implored.

We walked back to Bella's house like that, holding hands and in silence. I called Edward down while Alice took his position by Bella's bed. Jacob looked out the window, a frown on his face. Edward stalked toward me, the intensity of his feelings nearly overwhelming me.

"Jasper," Edward said, his voice cold.

I glanced up at Jacob who shot me a worried look. I shook my head at him and Jacob went back to Bella's bedside. "Edward," I greeted. I suddenly hated that this was happening, that my relationship with Edward was so thoroughly splintered. I started to head towards the forest but Edward stopped me.

"I'm not leaving the house," he told me.

Bella will be fine, I thought. Jacob will keep her safe.

"I'm not leaving Bella," Edward clarified, annoyed.

I grit my teeth and fought the urge to bring up a memory of what Bella looked like when Edward left her the first time. "Fine," I ground out. "Why are you here with Alice then?"

"I could ask you the same question," Edward responded. "Is there any particular reason you've decided to spend my entire absence in the presence of Bella without any of the family?"

I love her. My eyes widened as I completed that thought and I wanted to slap myself.

Edward's eyes widened and he gaped at me. "What?" he spluttered.

Well, everything was shot to hell now anyway. "I love her. I love Bella," I told him as evenly as I could while still preparing myself for a possible attack. "Why are you here? Didn't you promise never to interfere in her life again?"

"I left so she would get away from vampires," Edward told me, his tone acidic. "Not so that another vampire would insert himself in her life while I was away."

I scoffed. "You make it seem as though you were going to come back," I told him. "Do you even know what you did to her when you left? What kind of a state she was in?"

"She would get over it in time," Edward said, his face hard and body tense.

Do you want to see how well she got over it? I thought. Before Edward could answer my query, I dragged up an image of Bella when I first began to follow her all those months ago.

Edward gasped, falling to his knees. "Stop," he implored. I let it linger for a few more moments before I banished the thought from my mind. After all I was feeling a little bit sadistic; Bella would never let him know how bad she had been.

"That is what you did to her Edward."

Edward glared up at me as he slowly stood up, and I could tell he was shaken by what he'd seen. "So where do you come in? And Jacob?"

I gave Edward little snippets of memories, lingering on the conversation between Bella and I about Edward leaving her. And, just because I was feeling a bit malicious, I thought about little intimate moments we shared as well. Edward wasn't the least pleased about those.

"She honestly believes that I don't love her?" he asked, awed at the prospect. "That's crazy," he murmured.

"I suppose you did a professional job in lying to her that day in the woods," I bit out. Edward cringed and for a moment I felt satisfied, but quickly I was surprised. I was acting too much like a teenage boy fighting over a girl.

"Look, Edward, I love Bella. Every moment I spend with her is one of the best of my existence. And I just want her to be happy. And if it's with you, well, I'm still going to fight for her. Because I don't think I'll be able to give her up."

Edward glared at me. "You would turn her into a vampire? You'd take away her soul?"

"I would do whatever she wanted me to if it made her happy. Visiting Jacob makes her happy. Driving to school makes her happy. Going for walks in the forest makes her happy. And if becoming a vampire is what she wants, then I won't hesitate to grant her that wish; in fact I'd love to. It would give me so much more time to enjoy her in my existence. It's a win-win situation."

"Would you remain with her even if she was a human?" Edward challenged me.

I paused for a moment. I thought of all the possibilities, all the fun we'd have if Bella were a vampire. But then I thought of all her human tendencies and characteristics and I knew I'd miss them too. I gave Edward an even look. "I love her no matter what she chooses to do. If she wants to remain human, we'd just find a way to make it work."

"But you'd take away her soul?" Edward asked me, tortured.

"We live forever," I told him. "It wouldn't matter. There are worse things than not having a soul. But I honestly don't see how someone so wonderful wouldn't have soul. How Carlisle and Esme wouldn't have a soul."

Edward was quiet for a while, and I took this chance to gather my own thoughts. While I talked as if I were completely sure Bella would wake up and want to stay with me after seeing Edward, the truth is that I was not sure in the least. Even seeing Alice for a few minutes was enough to re-ignite my love for her; who's to say the same wouldn't be true for Bella? And I highly doubted that Edward wouldn't beg her to take him back.

Edward gave me a smug smile. "You don't even know if she loves you enough to want to stay with you," he said quietly.

I narrowed my eyes at him but kept my cool. "And you don't know if she even loves you anymore."

I could feel Edward's anger despite his best attempts to hide his emotions and smiled spitefully. What I really needed now was just a moment to think. Edward had the decency to grant me a few minutes alone, and we separated to think things over.

I had no idea what would happen next, and Alice certainly couldn't tell, at least not with Jacob around apparently.

I sighed, banging my fist against a tree. Okay. The things I did know then:

One: I still loved Alice.

Two: I love Bella.

Three: Alice still wants to be with me.

Four: Edward wants Bella back.

Five: I was wearing a white shirt.

I sighed and leaned against the tree. This was getting me nowhere fast.

The problem was that neither Bella nor I really knew what we wanted yet; I wouldn't know until Bella made a choice, and then things would have to go from there. But the truth of the matter was that I still loved Alice so deeply that even seeing her hurt ripped wounds across my still heart.

And Alice was being so calm and nice about it all! How could I turn down someone who was so in love with me she didn't have it in her to be mad that I had, for all technical reasons, cheated on her. If what Bella and I did was indeed cheating. What really defined the lines of fidelity in this case? And truth be told the love that Alice and I had was tempting beyond all reason. There's a certain confidence, security, in loving someone so long and deep as Alice and I have loved each other; it grows out of years of overcoming hardship and tender care.

And yet I was utterly enamored with Bella; with her scent, her hair, her eyes, her warmth, her personality, her love. Until I met Bella no one had even had a speck of the interest that Alice had. And then…I knew I would love Bella forever the moment I looked in her eyes and saw something entirely different.

Different from the way Alice looked at me. Different from the way Bella looked at Edward. It was how Esme looked at Carlisle, or Emmett Rose. It was one hundred percent, honest to god, pure unadulterated love. It was what I needed, what I craved, and exactly what I felt towards her too. I simply never believed I would find anyone who I would love even remotely as much as I loved Alice; it was just unfathomable.

And everything had been going so well! We were finally moving on, enjoying the ride and whatever Fate brought. Except Alice and Edward; this part of the coaster was certainly not enjoyable.

"Jasper!"

I knew that voice. Its melodic tone was hoarse with sleep, hair probably a mess from tossing and turning, and at the moment utterly terrified.

It took me all of one second to make it back to the house, scale the wall and jump in through the window. Edward was in one corner of the room, his hand held out towards her, his face longing, while Jacob sat as a barricade between the two. Bella sat behind him, eyes wide, hair slightly mussed, and mouth slightly agape.

I must have been slow; but then Edward had always been the fastest in the family. I watched as recognition filled Bella's face, her mouth rounding into an 'oh', as she slowly crept around Jacob's large frame. She stared at Edward, her gaze slowly becoming just as pining as his; longing and loving and sweet all at the same time. My presence went unnoticed.

"Edward," she whispered.

It was reverent, a caress, full of a love long buried and newly resurfaced. Bella stepped forward to meet him, and I felt my world crash down.

A/N: First and foremost, I want to thank all of you lovely readers for all your...enthusiastic! expressions from the last chapter, and I want to apologize for such a terrible cliff hanger for so long. I truly appreciated every review I came home to, and I just hope that this first confrontation scene lived up to your expectations...please let me know what you thought of it!

Secondly, a tremendous thanks to JaspersBella, without whom this chapter would have floundered and died where it stood. Thank you for your continual support and encouragement!

Thirdly, for anyone that cares, Russia was amazing and while I do feel guilty about leaving you all for so long, I thoroughly enjoyed my trip and would highly recommend going to Russia to anyone.

I'll do my best to whip out a new chapter, but I'm still fighting my jet lag, so please be patient! Thanks all of you! 3