Chapter Sixteen

School was insufferable. I didn't even make it to first period, which was spent in an empty classroom with Angela, crying my eyes out about Jasper, and the rest of the day was a blur. Lunch was tolerable because Mike did his best to make me feel better, and I was surprised to find that I did for a little while.

And that is precisely why, sitting in my truck in the parking lot, staring at Edward as he walked casually into the school's office, I felt even worse. Now was definitely not a good time for Edward to see me. I probably looked terrible and I definitely needed a couple hours to straighten myself out before I could really be happy that he was back.

If I even was in the first place.

I shook my head. No. Of course I was happy that Edward was back! It's what I'd been wanting since he left...until Jasper...

I grit my teeth against the sharp stabbing pain and forced myself to think of something else. Like Jake. Jake would be a great distraction from...everything.

I peeled out of the parking lot before I changed my mind and drove automatically to Jake's house. For some reason I wasn't surprised to find him standing outside his door when I pulled up to his house, a big goofy smile plastered on his face.

"Hey Bells!" he called, jogging over.

I couldn't fight the grin that found its way onto my own face. "Hey Jake," I replied, stumbling out of my truck. Despite everything Jake was still my best friend, and I couldn't help but be happy whenever it came to him.

"Great timing Bella. I was just getting ready to come kidnap you," Jake told me, crushing me in a hug.

I gasped for air for a moment before Jake loosened his grip. "Believe me,"I told him in short breaths, "I would have gone willingly."

Jake frowned at me as he set me down and grabbed my hand, tugging me over to his garage. "You've been crying a lot," he observed.

I sighed. There was no point in hiding anything from Jake. "Yeah. I'm just wondering if we made the right choice is all," I explained, following him through the door of his garage and sitting down on the chair he kept in a corner while he began to work on his car.

Jacob frowned at me. "I still don't understand why you made the decision to go back to Edward," he told me gruffly. "After everything that he put you through."

"Because I love him," I responded instantly. "And it would be better and easier for everyone if we just go back to how things were before."

"Love isn't easy," Jacob told me, focusing on using his wrench somewhere in the hood of his car. "Love takes work and dedication. The challenges are what make it so much fun and worthwhile."

I couldn't not defend my decision. "Loving Edward isn't easy," I countered then backtracked. "Okay, that came out wrong. I mean that it's not...well, it's just-" I quit before I started spluttering.

"Sure, sure," Jake replied, shrugging at me and going back to his car.

"I'm just saying that loving Edward is fun and worthwhile too. He's a really great guy, he's perfect and he's sweet and he really cares about me."

"And I'm just saying that Jasper is ten times better than Edward. Jasper wouldn't leave you just because he thought it was less dangerous. He'd probably stay by you no matter what," Jacob said heatedly. "Though of course neither of them are better than me," he added, winking at me to soften his previous words.

"Jake!" I cried frustrated. "You're supposed to distract me from this all, or at the very least not make me feel like I made the wrong choice."

Jacob sighed. "Okay, okay, calm down Bells. You're right, since I can't not do the other, I'll at least do my best to distract you."

I slumped down in the chair feeling guilty. "Sorry Jake. It's just been a rough day."

Jacob came over and lifted me so that he could sit down and pulled me onto his lap, hugging me. "I know. Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "I'm all talked out. I actually told Angela everything. Well, except for the whole mythical creatures part of it."

Jacob laughed, the sound sending vibrations through me. "I bet you never thought you'd get caught up in any of this nonsense, huh?"

I smiled at him. "No. But I'm glad I did. Usually."

"Is Bella Swan finally seeing that there are some downsides to surrounding herself with dangerous creatures 24/7?" Jake asked ruffling my hair.

"Oh ha ha," I said sarcastically, but smiled genuinely. Because I really was happy. "Big brother" Jake was finally back, and I definitely needed him.

**

Charlie noticed something was off at dinner that night, and he waited until the end to ask me about it. After his last not so furtive glance I sighed and asked him to go ahead and spit it out.

"Well Bells," he began, "you just seem a bit off. I was just wondering what was wrong," he asked uncomfortably.

I felt just as uncomfortable, but I didn't want to worry him. "I've just been doing a lot of thinking lately," I told him evasively. I paused and Charlie looked at me expectantly. "And I' m not sure I quite like all the conclusions I've come to," I added.

Charlie raised an eyebrow at me. "Would this have anything to do with that Hale kid?"

I choked on my lasagna and had to take a quick swig of milk to clear my throat. "Dad," I complained.

"Well, Bells, I'd say he seems pretty all right," Charlie said. "He was nice the other night. And probably a lot better than Edward." Charlie muttered the last bit, more to himself than me, but I still paled.

"See, that's what I'm not sure about," I said softly. Charlie turned to me sharply and I gulped nervously. Jake and I had decided it best to break the news to Charlie before Edward started to unexpectedly start escorting me around again, but now that the moment had come I felt as if I had a million butterflies in my stomach. I knew how much Charlie disapproved of Edward.

"Bella?" Charlie prompted.

"Well, I was talking to Jasper yesterday and he gave me some news. Um, well, they're moving back into town, the Cullens." Charlie's mouth dropped open. "I know, he didn't even know until yesterday either, and I don't know all the details anyway, so don't bother asking me," I hastily explained. I knew I was a pretty bad liar.

Charlie gave me a stern look. "Don't tell me you're going to get back together with Edward," he said gruffly.

"I love him," I said simply.

"I just thought that maybe you and Jake were, well, you know..."

I tightened my grip on my fork as a little pain stabbed my heart. "I know Dad, but we're just friends. I really love Jake, but not in that way."

Charlie glared at me for a moment but kept his thoughts to himself for which I was thankful. Suddenly he let a slow grin back on when he asked, "So why do you look so glum? You don't want to get back with Edward?"

I furrowed my eyebrows at him as I frowned. "I do," I told him. "I love Edward, it's just..." Charlie waited expectantly. "Dad, seriously, why are we talking about boys?"

"I'm only concerned for the welfare of my daughter," Charlie said innocently, taking the final bite of lasagna. He fixed me with a more serious look. "But, well, if you ever need to uh talk about it or anything..." he trailed off.

I gave Charlie a soft smile. "Thanks Dad."

I washed the dishes and said an early goodnight to Charlie. Without Jasper I had to face Calculus homework on my own, and that was proving to be fairly difficult I realized as I stared at the problems. After reworking the problems a couple of times I finally got it right and moved on to my reading assignment. Around nine o clock I finished up the rest of my work and got ready for bed. Before slipping under the covers I glanced at my ajar window.

Tonight was definitely not a night I wanted to face Edward, so I went over and shut it just in case. Although a locked window would hardly impede him, I hoped he would take the gesture to heart.

I clicked off the lights and tried to relax, which was an absolute failure. All I could do was think about Jasper and Edward and Alice. I hadn't even had a conversation with Alice, and truth be told I just wanted to avoid her. Although she was a vampire she was still a woman, and most women don't take kindly to their friends practically dating their...husband. I groaned. How could I ever face her, let alone any of the other Cullens. Maybe Emmett I could face. He was usually pleasant and friendly.

In fact as the night wore on I found myself tossing and turning in bed as I imagined all the terrible scenarios that might take place. Edward deciding he didn't want to be with me after all, Esme and Carlisle disapproving of me, Emmett deciding he wouldn't want to even speak to me. But one of the worst was the reality of the imminent situation, the fact that I would indeed have to see Jasper when I came over to the house. I doubted I could avoid such a trip for long, and I couldn't very well live my life in La Push.

At around one I finally drifted into an uneasy sleep of disapproving looks and breakups. I wasn't mentally or physically prepared for school in the morning, and I definitely wasn't prepared for Edward's silver Volvo parked in my driveway as I prepared to dash to my truck through the drizzle.

But there he was, leaning back against the passenger side, his hair and clothes surely damp from the rain, and that crooked smile that made my heart stop plastered on his face. God I missed him.

I walked slowly up to Edward and glanced up at him. "Hi," I said meekly.

"Hello," he replied. Edward hesitantly reached a hand to my face and lifted my chin so that he could look into my eyes. "Hello," he said again, a mix of passion and longing infused within his greeting. His hand dropped to my waist and he pulled me into a hug, breathing in deeply as my scent assaulted him. "Bella," he sighed, pulling back to open the door for me. I glanced at it nervously but couldn't come up with a plausible reason about why I should drive myself to school, so I relented and ducked inside.

Edward held my hand on the drive to school, which was quiet but for the soft classical tunes that his stereo emitted. We pulled into the parking lot and as Edward got out to open my door for me at human pace I took the few seconds to steel myself. Because I wanted this, I wanted Edward, and it didn't matter that he had left me with a lie and a broken heart. He was back and he loved me and that was all that mattered. The curious Forks High students were nothing. The fact that Edward was pretending nothing had happened was nothing. Edward was everything.

So why was I so irked at his gallant display of chivalry. It wasn't like I was incapable of opening my own damn door.

I took a deep breath, mentally conjuring up an image of a calender. Maybe I was so emotional because it was nearing that time of the month. Yes, that must be it.

Everyone stared in shock as Edward and I walked together to class, and the whole day was miserable. Angela shot me sympathetic looks and every time she did Edward would frown and squeeze my hand slightly in a reassuring manner. Facing Alice was just as difficult, but she seemed to be taking the "I'm going to pretend the whole thing never happened" route, so I decided to play along. I still felt incredibly uncomfortable in her presence.

I was actually thankful when Mike asked me to help him with his Calculus assignment during lunch, as it gave me an excuse to leave Edward and Alice for a while.

Mike gave me a concerned look as I sat down next to him, grabbing my graphing calculator out of my bag. "You okay Bella? You look like someone killed your dog."

I sighed. Leave it to Mike to be all perceptive today of all days. "Just a little stressed is all," I said with a slight smile. A little stressed was a big understatement.

Mike was quiet as he took out his assignment and took a bite of his pizza. "So you and Cullen are back together? I was surprised when I saw him back here yesterday," Mike observed.

I made some noise that Mike must have taken as agreement. "You have to take the integral of this equation, Mike, not the first."

Mike quickly erased the wrong answers and rewrote the problem. "What about Hale?" he asked abruptly.

I choked on my lemonade. I swear, if the men in my life didn't quit asking me questions about...the men in my life...well, I was going to seriously injure myself via choking. "W-what?" I spluttered.

Mike scratched his head as he attempted to work out the math problem. "Well, I just figured that you and Hale were together, seeing as he wasn't with Alice anymore, and well, you know, that one time you kissed him." It must have taken a lot out of Mike to say that because his face turned sour.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably. "Don't forget to write 'plus C' at the end. The integral doesn't have any limits, so you need to account for any possible constants that the original equation may have had." I took another sip of my drink. "And well, I kinda don't want to talk about Jasper," I said apologetically. Why on earth was I apologizing? It must be how grateful I was to be able to escape for a while.

Mike was kind enough to refrain from any more uncomfortable questions an observations for the rest of lunch and even walked with me to my next class, much to Edward's displeasure. He seemed just as regretful as I did to leave my side when the bell rang.

I paid little attention in class, something I knew I would regret later, as I focused my energies on making a mental list of reasons I was happy to be back with Edward. It was a long list. And Edward helped to solidify it after school when he took me out to get ice cream and regaled me with an adventure he had when he was still a human. It was thoroughly interesting; I didn't know very much about Edward's life when he was human beyond the few days he had leading up to his becoming a vampire.

It was strange and wonderful to hear the memory, and I found myself falling back into the easy, familiar relationship I had with Edward before...the incident.

"And that's precisely why I never ate ice cream again," he told me with a sigh. I giggled and smiled at him, licking my spoon clean.

"That was a lovely story," I told him, and Edward smiled his crooked smile at me. His expression then turned a bit sad. "I miss your laugh. And your smile. I missed you so much Bella. I could barely function without you." Edward traced my hand with his fingers as he looked at me helplessly.

My throat constricted as I was forced to relive all my previous feelings of despair when Edward left. "I missed you too," I told him. "So much."

"Bella, I love you. I have never stopped loving you. Please believe me," Edward told me quietly.

I nodded my head, unable to say anything. I was conflicted; all at once I wanted to wipe away the desperation in his voice and yet I wanted to slap him. I wasn't sure where all this blind fury was coming from, but the bit of me deep inside did. I was angry because he was expecting me to reaffirm my love for him and make everything seem okay.

My ego fought to balance the id and superego and I ended up giving him a tight smile and squeezing his hand. I glanced at the clock to my right and sighed. "I have to go home and make dinner for Charlie," I told Edward. "And do my homework."

While this was true I also wanted to get home and be alone so I could sort through my thoughts and feelings. Edward drove me home, informing me that Esme and Emmett had returned yesterday and were anxious to see me again, and that Rosalie and Carlisle weren't far behind.

I gulped nervously at that. I wasn't quite sure what would happen if I saw them, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. What I wanted was to talk to Jasper, to discuss what we would do and figure out what to say to them.

Charlie wasn't home yet and Edward gave me a soft kiss on my doorstep. My heart accelerated, but I was too surprised to formulate any other response. Which was just as well, as Edward pulled back quickly after that. I stumbled inside and shut the door quickly behind me, willing myself to take deep, slow breaths. After a minute or two I calmed down enough to start moving again and I climbed the stairs to my room and took out my calculus homework. I was starting to get really tired of integrals, but related rates wasn't my favorite thing either.

By the time I was finished with that it was time to start dinner for Charlie. I settled on chicken pie, as it was one of my favorites and I definitely needed a pick me up. I was surprised when Jacob and Billy showed up not long after Charlie for dinner. I knew Jake would still be hungry so I hastened to whip up a batch of brownies for dessert and fixed up a salad as well.

Jake found me in the kitchen, sniffing the air appreciatively. "That smells great Bells. You'd make a great wife," he said.

I raised an eyebrow at him but couldn't find it in me to contest him. "Hey Jake," I said instead. "Dinner will be ready soon."

Jake walked up next to me and ducked his head to whisper, "Are you coming tonight? We're supposed to have another training now that the rest of the Cullens are back, and well, if you don't then one of the pack will stay by your house to watch you."

I looked up at Jake in surprise. "So soon?"

"Well, we can't exactly sit around and wait in case she comes looking for you Bells. And since they're all together now, we might as well get on with it," Jake said with a frown.

I bit my lip in frustration. I didn't want to take any of the pack away from something so important, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to see Jasper again so soon. I barely survived my first day without him, seeing him now and not talking to him, or seeing him with Alice, or me with Edward, or whatever would happen, would just be rubbing salt in the wound.

You can do this, you can do this, you can do this.

"You don't have to go," Jake said, stilling my hand and turning me to face him. "I know it'll be hard to see Jasper, and I could come guard you tonight."

I shook my head. "No, this is important. I'll go," I said.

Jake still looked at me worriedly. It was easy to tell how much I didn't want to go. "How about I keep you company then? You could come sit with the pack, I can even be your own personal blanket and pillow."

I smiled up at Jake, feeling my heart swell. I hugged him tightly and muttered, "I love you, you know that right?" into his shirt.

"Sure, sure," Jake said, hugging me back and kissing the top of my head. "Now quit torturing me with your sweet words," he sighed and I pulled back quickly, feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. I had forgotten about Jake's feelings.

"Well, I suppose I could forgive you since you are feeding me tonight," Jake said seriously.

I hit him playfully and he broke out into a grin. "Just go set the table," I replied, smiling back.

**

Jake and Billy stayed for a while after dinner to catch up and on the way out Jake whispered, "I'll pick you up around one."

I raised my eyebrow at him wondering how on Earth he'd pick me up in the Rabbit without alerting Charlie. Charlie helped me clean up and then we said goodnight. I set my alarm for one but didn't fall asleep. After tossing around for an hour I gave up on sleep entirely. Something just didn't feel right, and it took me a while to realize that I was missing Jasper's presence. Upset I stumbled out of bed and headed toward my computer, waiting impatiently for it to start up. To pass the time I decided to get a head start on my history paper. I was actually fairly engrossed in my work and was bewildered when I heard a tapping at my window. I glanced at the clock and sighed in relief when it read one am. It was probably just Jake.

I peeked outside and there he was, standing under my window, tossing pebbles in the air. "Hey Jake," I called down quietly.

"Hey Bells. You might want to grab another blanket. It might start to rain," he called back up.

I grabbed the blanket off my bed and stared back out the window. "I'll be down in a minute," I called.

"Just jump," Jake responded and I looked at him like he was crazy. "Really Bella, it'll be okay. I'll catch you."

"You're crazy!" I hissed.

"Bella, honey, I'll catch you. This way, as long as you don't scream, there's zero chance of you falling down the stairs, slamming the door or making any other noise to wake up Charlie."

Jake had a point, but jumping out my window? I just had to trust him, and I did. I gripped my blanket tightly and bit down on it as I climbed to the window's ledge. Jake stepped back as he adjusted how I would fall and after mentally counting to three about twenty times I closed my eyes and jumped. The air whipped around me for the briefest second, and I was luckily too afraid to scream.

But the next second I landed unceremoniously in Jacob's arms and he held me while I hyperventilated. "Told you I'd catch you," Jake said, laughter in his voice as he set me down, keeping his hands on my waist to steady me.

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered. I looked around suddenly noticing the absence of any car. "Didn't you drive here?" I asked him, suddenly getting an ominous feeling.

"Nope," Jake said proudly. "I ran."

"Then how exactly are we getting there?" I asked him.

"We're going to run," Jake said with a smile. "Or at least I am."

I shook my head, willing myself to come to another conclusion. I didn't. "Do you mean to say that I'm going to...to ride on you or something to get there?"

"Oh don't worry Bells. It's just like riding a horse, except I much quicker and more comfortable." I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. "Come on, lets not be late," Jake said. "Just uh, stay there for a moment okay? I'll come back in a sec."

Jake disappeared into the forest and reappeared in a couple of seconds in wolf form.

It still took me a moment to get used to seeing him like that, and Jake gave me that before trotting up to me and kneeling down.

"Climb on?" I asked dumbly. Jacob whined, nodding his head in response. I could just imagine what he was thinking, Come on Bells, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. I hesitantly climbed on and fisted my hands in Jake's soft fur, wedging the blanket between my chest and his back so that it wouldn't fall. Jake gave a warning growl and I shut my eyes as he took off. The wind assaulted me on all sides as Jake made his way expertly through the forest, but his stride was smooth and sure, and I wasn't hit by any stray branches, for which I was thankful.

When at last we started to slow down I peeked open my eyes and glanced around. The trees were thinning out on either side and we broke through the line of trees within the minute. Jake jogged to the left of the field where his pack was waiting. I was a bit afraid to glance at the other side of the field. I suddenly wished I could speak to Jake in his wolf form so that I wouldn't be put through the misery of not knowing which vampires were here already.

I kept my eyes focused on the pack and climbed slowly off of Jake's back. He stretched before lying down in a slightly curled position and looked at me expectantly. I noticed that without the warmth of his body the night was indeed chilly. I wrapped the blanket around myself and curled up next to Jake who nudged me with his nose and licked my cheek. I scratched him between the ears, too nervous to tell him that his kiss was all slobbery but I still appreciated the thought.

"Bella!"

It was a voice I hadn't heard in such a long time I looked up in surprise. There was Emmett, waving his arms over his head and grinning like an idiot. Next to him Rosalie looked slightly displeased and just as amazingly gorgeous as I remembered. To their right were Esme and Carlisle, both of whom were waving hello and smiling at me, and Edward stood next to his father, his mouth set in a frown as he glared at Jacob. To Rosalie's left was Alice, looking as happy and bubbly as ever, and of course, standing on her tiptoes to whisper something in Jasper's ear.

Jasper.

Even looking at him hurt like hell and I clenched my fist in Jake's fur more tightly, willing myself not to break down. Jasper looked at me when he felt my distress and I quickly averted my eyes back to the others, waving hello back. Neither side moved to meet. The vampires because they weren't particularly fond of the smell of werewolf and didn't want to alarm the pack, and me because I didn't think I would be able to be in such close proximity to Jasper for more than a split second. So we just grinned at each other like idiots and waved our arms.

Jacob nuzzled his muzzle against my neck when and gave me a look that I interpreted to mean, Don't worry. Everything will be okay. I'm here. Why don't you go to sleep now?, when Jasper stepped up and walked in between the two groups.

So I let myself drift into the first blissful sleep I had since the last time we had had one of these training meetings. In it Jasper and I were picking strawberries.

A/N: Sorry again about the wait, but I'm falling back into schedule. Indeed, I've finally made an outline for the rest of the story and anticipate about 7 more chapters. Hopefully now I will be able to write faster, since I've got a plan!

Sorry to the reviewers I was unable to respond to, the site is being weird and won't let me D:

Again, many thanks to JaspersBella, as well as the many reviewers and readers that have stuck with me. We'll get through this together. And hopefully before I start college! Til next time :D