A/N: See, this is the thing about juggling stories, you always feel like you haven't updated in forever. On the other hand, updating a story you feel like you haven't updated in forever gives you a great sense of accomplishment, so I guess that evens the playing field… Thank you everyone who reviewed last chapter, and though some of you may have been hoping for a chapter involving a certain paper hat… Sorry. Not this chapter. Rest assured, there will be a situation involving Jess, Rory and the Paper Hat. I will try my best to get it into chapter 23. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I, the author of this story, do not own any of the characters associated with Gilmore Girls. That honor belongs to the wonderful Amy Sherman-Palladino. I have no intention of making any money on this (in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm losing money over it…).
22. Paul Anka, Saffy and other assorted references
Two weeks went by, and Rory was beginning to lose hope. After the interview with the Philadelphia Inquirer, she had been to interviews with Philadelphia City Paper and , and there and been no word back yet from either one of them. She wasn't sure if this was good or not. Was two weeks too early or too late? Were she still in the running or was her try-out column lying in a rubbish bin somewhere? The thought alone irked her and made her jump everytime her phone rang.
She sighed, taking comfort in the fact that herself, Jess and Cammie would be going to Stars Hollow tomorrow. Andrew had called two days ago, saying he had the papers in order, all they needed to do was sign them. He had offered to mail them to Philadelphia, but Jess had insisted (after having made sure that Kirk no longer worked as a notary, since Rory had let that information slip) that they come to the Hollow to get the contract signed in person. This was undeniably good news, but to Rory it felt like this endeavour was fate's way of rubbing the fact that she herself didn't have a job, in her face. She did not want to end up at the Stars Hollow Gazette, where her first piece would probably be a first page article celebrating her homecoming…
Distraction. She needed it desperately, and so she got up from the couch where she was sitting and picked up her Sidekick from the small table by the door to call her mom. She realized as she dialled Lorelai's number, that she needed to pack, and headed towards the bedroom as the dialing tone sounded. Rory reflected briefly on how simple things had been before she had... grown up. Chilton seemed like a walk in the park compared to job-hunting, and that said something.
"The Gilmore residence, the lady of the house speaking!" Lorelai then answered with a chirp, and Rory could hear the unmistakeable sound of a flannel-clad grunt in the background.
"Mom? Put Luke on the phone, will you?" she asked her mother patiently.
"You don't want to talk to mommy?" her mother asked in a whiny voice.
"I just want to say hi to Luke before we begin."
"Fine… Oh, Luke..? It's my daughter, Rory! The one with the incomparable brains, an ex-hoodlum fiancé and killer looks to boot!"
There was a brief rustling noise before Luke's distressed voice took over.
"She is insane!" he nagged relentlessly into the phone. "She's been like this for days, and I have no idea where she's getting it from!"
"It's from a British tv-show," Rory explained calmly, pulling out her trusted suitcase from under the bed. "It's about this really funny lady who thinks she's upper class, so she answers the phone like mom did, only she says 'the Bucket residence'."
"Bouquet, isn't that French?" Luke asked, confused.
"No, no, they're really named Bucket, but pronouncing it like French makes it seem more classy."
"Naturally…"
"Has she begun singing Rule, Britannia! yet?" Rory asked matter-of-factly, throwing the suitcase on the bed and prying it open with the phone jammed between her ear and her shoulder.
"No, should I be worried?"
"It all depends on how much more you can take."
Right then, Rory could hear how Lorelai eclaimed "You're talking about me! Paul Anka would be appalled! And I mean dog-Paul Anka!" in the background.
"Save me," Luke begged her desperately.
"Hide the tapes when she's out, then put on Godfather III when she gets home."
"Why Godfather III? Don't they kill people and suck on fat cigars like in the two previous movies?"
"Sofia dying-scene. Classic Gilmore mocking scene," Rory informed him proudly, ignoring the fact that Luke had more or less blasphemed by demeaning the intricate and entertaining plots of Godfather and Godfather II.
"You mock someone who dies?" Luke countered, befuddled. "That can't be normal."
"It's the Gilmore way."
"And just when I thought there was some rationality to your insanity… Okay, your mom wants to monopolize the phone for an hour or so. It's good hearing from you, Rory. Tell Jess I said hi."
"I will. Bye, Luke."
It was quiet for a few seconds before her mother's voice sounded again.
"You are so spoiling my fun, you know that, right?" Lorelai complained.
"I told him to let you watch Godfather III, chill out," Rory reproached her, once again getting the feeling that she was the parent in their relationship, though that could be fun at times.
Lorelai lowered her voice to a whisper, which meant Luke was still within hearing range.
"Sofia dying?"
"Mm-hmm."
"You are so my favorite daughter, even when you pull a total Saffy on me."
"Ab fab, and other Ab Fab-expressions," Rory replied, smiling, mentally going through the list of what she had to pack.
"I expected so much more than that. What, no 'darling', no likening of your man to an antique store?"
"Well, I didn't call just to be your automatic reference-enabler…"
"Sad! Sad, lonely, abandoned…" her mother ranted unyieldingly, and Rory couldn't help but wonder how her mother had ever survived during the years Rory had spent at Yale.
"I called," she interrupted loudly, making her mother temporarily stop babbling. "…to tell you that I will be enabling you in person tomorrow."
Just saying that sent a jolt of excitement through her body. It was silly, really. It had been almost a month since they had been to Stars Hollow, and Rory still felt like she was six and it was Christmas morning.
"Happy!" Lorelai exclaimed into the phone. "Waffle's extremely very happy!"
"And apparantly losing her grasp of the English language…" Rory noted off-handedly, walking to the wardrobe, opening it to ponder her choices.
"Oh, shush, sweetie darling. Waffle's Belgian, what do you expect? Speaking of expecting, when can I expect to see you tomorrow, and how long will you be staying?"
"We, meaning myself, Jess and Cammie, will leave as early as we can…
"Okay, so you'll leave at 11 when Jess gets you out of bed without getting a violent response," Lorelai deadpanned, chuckling.
"Thanks for the confidence, but Jess and Cammie agreed to meet with Andrew at 11, so that trumps my sleeping needs, unfortunately…" Rory rebutted sensibly as she pulled out two pairs of jeans, a fancy skirt, a bunch of t-shirts, sweaters, socks and underwear, as well as a nice top and cardigan to go with the fancy skirt.
"Fine, so how long will you be staying, you never answered that one?"
"Probably over the weekend. Cammie needs to scope the place for an apartment, so Jess swtiched shifts with Chris tonight so he wouldn't have to go back to Philly alone on Friday night."
She walked from the closet back to the bed, haphazardly dumping the clothes into the suitcase. Shoes next.
"You're telling me he voluntarily switched shifts so he could stay the weekend, even it it means he'll have to go to Friday Night Dinner with the monsters formerly known as your grandparents?" Lorelai asked, souding abashed.
"Apparantly so," Rory affirmed, as she walked from the bedroom out to door, opening a small chest that held all her shoes.
"Wow… Even after the major debacle last time?"
"All evidence points to that… I need shoes."
"Black high heels for Friday Nightmare Dinner, loafers for looking pretty and sophisticated, and something crazy just for the heck of it," her mother quickly counted. "By the way, I'm still wowed."
"Thanks for the shoe tip. You're getting good, you don't even know what I packed," she complimented, pulling out a pair of sleek black pumps and a pair of zebra striped ballerinas she had bought on sale the day before. The loafers she used as everyday shoes would suffice for the trip and anything Stars Hollow might throw at her. Which, at this point could be anything, really. "And as for being wowed, I get it, moving on…"
"Did you or Jess tell Cammie that Taylor owns most of the apartments up for lease and that he doesn't haggle over the price? Like never, ever, ever?" her mother inquired, thankfully changing the subject.
"And spoil the fun?"
"You are so evil, and I am seriously liking it! Listen, mommy's gotta run, we've got a French party arriving at the inn today, and I need to be there when Michel pretends to be a Texan countryboy again."
"Bring him a Stetson hat," Rory laughed, trying to picture Michel with a texan accent.
"Already on it," Lorelai replied devilishly. "As soon as I get there, I'm gonna go on the internet and google one of those name generator-doohickeys and give Michel a cowboy name to go with his supposed texan heritage."
"And there we have it, ladies and gentlemen, scientific proof that evil is hereditary…"
"Hey, it isn't scientific unless we've been studied, and to my knowledge we haven't, though it would be kinda cool if there were scientists running around Stars Hollow, writing notes about us... Hey, does this mean you don't want me to text you Michel's cowboy name, possibly with a picture of him almost exploding in a girly cowboy hat?"
It was tempting. More than tempting. Michel in a cowboy hat, and Rory knew exactly which one her mother was referring to; the one she had snatched during the rummage sale conundrum of 2000.
"I'm evil…" she sighed heavily, walking back into the bedroom, throwing the shoes onto the pile of clothes in the suitcase.
"It'll be worth it, trust me. See you tomorrow, sweets."
"Can hardly wait…"
But her mother had already hung up when she muttered out the last statement, and she dropped the phone on the bed. People would talk, and ask her if she had a job yet, and it would pain her to have to tell them no. On the other hand, there was the unspoken promise of Lorelai reenacting Michels fit of rage from the cowboy hat and matching name. What could be better?
A/N: Blame my fiancé, he's the one who got me to watch Ab Fab and Keeping Up Appearances. He really has the strangest taste in tv shows: Star Trek, Ab Fab, Keeping Up Appearances, Scrubs… The reference to the antique store is my favourite Ab Fab-joke (perhaps one to use in the presence of Mama Kim..?):
Eddy: "Being married to him is like being married to an antiques shop, full of crap and always closed."
I meant to take this chapter further, to at least get the gang to the Hollow, but there were far to many good references thrown around in this phone call to just jump ahead one day and get them from Philly to Stars Hollow, so this is just a filler chapter. Drop a review and I will with 100 % certainty reveal Michel's cowboy name in chapter 23.