Chapter Twenty

Edward wasn't it the best mood after the La Push visit. Undoubtedly Jake's easy show of affection had turned on his jealousy. At last I couldn't stand his silence anymore and sighed loudly. "Edward?"

He turned his attention to me, away from the road. I panicked momentarily but quickly worked to fight that. Nothing was going to happen, Edward was an excellent driver.

Edward took stock of how I looked and sighed, reaching over and grabbing my hand. He drew circles into my palm and looked back at the road. "I'm sorry Bella. I know I'm worrying you and being upset. It's just been difficult. I've missed you so much and I just want to spend every moment I can with you. I don't want to share you," he told me guiltily. He flashed me his signature crooked smile and I felt my heart stutter for a moment. "Please don't be mad at me, love," he implored.

I squeezed his hand lightly. "I'm not mad. I've just been concerned."

He reached up and brushed some hair behind my ear, glancing at me and smiling. "Do you want to do something before we go back home? Charlie will be asleep by the time we get there anyway. Or are you too tired?"

I looked up at him curiously. "I'd love to hang out. Where do you want to go?"

Edward smiled at me, exceedingly happy that I had agreed. "Just another one of my haunts," he replied, accelerating on the gas.

While we drove I began to ask Edward questions I'd never had the nerve to ask before.

"Do you remember much about your human life?"

"Not very much," Edward confessed. "I was already delirious because of the influenza. But I know I wanted to fight. World War I was practically over, but there was still a lot of patriotism hanging around. And I was taken with the notion of winning some war medals and coming home a hero."

I interlaced my fingers with Edward's, somehow not quite used to his slightly smaller and more delicate build. Don't you dare think about Jasper, Isabella Swan. And I forced myself not to, I was still too upset with him.

"Do you remember having any past girlfriends?" I asked him mildly, granted I was still a bit curious and somewhat awkward.

Edward smiled at me and leaned in close. "Only you," I whispered in my ear. I felt a shiver run down my spine. It happened a lot when Edward got too close.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered and Edward chuckled softly. He pulled off the road to an exit and we headed down a seldom traveled road.

"What was your favorite food?"

Edward frowned. "I can't remember. I haven't really thought much about human food for decades. It's revolting," he told me apologetically.

I shook my head at him, a slight smile still on my face. "Did you ever want children?"

Edward was slightly taken aback by the question and it took him a moment to answer. "I'm not sure. I was still a bit young back then to think of it, and now it's not really an option. So I wouldn't mind having them, but I'm perfectly fine not having them also."

I nodded my head pensively. This could turn into dangerous territory if Edward asked me the same question back. But I think I was on the same page with him. Luckily I was saved from any questioning by Edward pulling his car to a stop and getting out to open my door.

"It's a bit chilly out," he said, shrugging out of his jacket and draping it over my shoulders.

I took a look around. We were a short walk away from a lake, and it was gorgeous. The moon reflected in its serene surface, various water plants newly growing and blooming to complement the reflection. Edward held my hand and guided me over to a large tree, sitting down with his back to the trunk and pulling me up against him.

I loved being close to Edward, it was enthralling. A small voice deep inside haughtily countered that nothing could compare to Jasper, and I told it to shut the hell up. I was going to enjoy this moment. I sighed and leaned more fully back against Edward.

Edward ran his fingers through my hair and I felt myself relax even more. I was putty in the hands of anyone who played with my hair.

"I love it here," Edward said quietly. "I found it the last time we lived here. Back then it was sort of the place for couples to go, but it's been deserted since then."

"So who'd you bring with you whenever you came?" I teased.

Edward chuckled lowly, his chest rumbling against my back. "My most beloved stuffed bear," he replied.

"Emmett?" I asked, faking surprise.

Edward sighed dramatically. "Well the cat's out of the bag now," he said woefully.

I laughed along with Edward and we settled into silence. I tried to assess the past couple of days, but my mind kept straying to thoughts of Jasper. I was undoubtedly upset the other night when Victoria's scent had been all over my house, but what cut me the most that night was how Jasper seemed so distant and cautious with me, just as if all those months had never happened. Maybe he really didn't want to be with me anymore. The thought disturbed me greatly and I switched my thoughts over to the pack.

I hadn't really hung out with Jacob much recently, nor Emily. I came to the decision that I was severely deficient as a friend and needed to remedy the situation right away by spending time with them tomorrow.

Edward shifted behind me, and I glanced back at him. He was staring at me intensely, his eyes slightly darker than normal, but of course that might have been the lack of light. His unwavering gaze made me nervous and I licked my lips before bringing in the bottom one to chew on. Edward followed the action with his eyes before snapping them back up to my own.

"Bella," he asked slowly, and his voice was huskier than usual.

"Hmm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

My mouth dropped open in surprise. Edward had never asked before, and truth be told the fact that he did now, and looking at me like he was, really was setting me on fire. I nodded mutely and the next instant his lips were on mine, his kiss urgent and needy.

I responded almost immediately, needed a second to get over the shock of it all. I twisted around in Edward's embrace so that I could better face him and not strain my neck with its being turned at an awkward angle. I brought my hands to Edward's face and tried to pull him closer, urging him on.

Edward seemed to hesitate, sending a first warning flag off in my mind, but I didn't listen to it. I attempted to pull him closer again and licked his lower lip, seeking for the never granted entrance.

I had gone too far this time. Edward snapped back, breathing heavily, and leaving me thoroughly unsatisfied and miffed to say the least.

I stood up from him angrily and glared at him accusingly. His continual refusal at my advances was definitely on my last straw. "Dammit Edward, if you're going ask to kiss me you should at least do that!" I cried angrily.

Edward stood up quickly, his temper rising slightly with his frustration. "Bella you know why I can't. I don't have nearly the self control necessary," he argued.

"Bullshit," I spat. Edward took a step back in utter surprise of my use of expletive. My mouth started running before my mind could make it shut up. "You always go on and on about how you don't have the self control to kiss me. But you're always so self-rightous when it comes to your control around humans, and you know what? You can never trust Jasper with his control. Well, Edward Cullen, for someone who had 'so little' self-control, Jasper sure does a hell of lot better in kissing me than you do!"

I was heaving with my exclamation while Edward stared at me in complete and utter shock, and not just a little hurt. t wasn't soon before my mind came to and I clapped my hands over my mouth, utterly shocked at what had just spewed forth. I did my best to keep my feelings of guilt at bay and return to my anger. It was easy enough.

"I'd like to go home," I said quietly. I turned around and head back to the car without waiting for an answer.

Edward followed behind me I presume, and still intended to open my door for me, but one dirty look was enough to keep him away. Childishly I slammed my door shut.

The ride back was definitely not present, and it soon began to pour heavily, the heavens opening up and letting loose upon the earth with no mercy. I was feeling quite guilty by now, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to Edward. I handed back his jacket without a word and ran to make it inside.

I kicked off my boots and shrugged out of my own jacket, throwing it over a chair in the kitchen. I made my way upstairs as noiselessly as I could, already able to hear Charlie's loud snores coming from his room.

Once I made it back to my room I resisted the urge to slam shut the window and instead closed it quietly and locking it. After going through my nightly routine I flopped on my bed, still quite angry. The rain had picked up outside, beating down on the house and alternating between thunder and lightening. I was undoubtedly in a bad mood and I hoped, rather vindictively I must admit, that it was Edward who was outside watching me tonight, stuck in the torrent. Not that it would bother him much.

I was too riled up to sleep and instead spent my time on the computer going through the emails I had neglected for a long time. Renee's obsessive desire to update me on every new event in her life and check up on me was often overwhelming. I spent the better part of an hour reading and replying to her lengthy emails until the room filled with unnatural light, a clap of thunder resounded loudly and the power cut off.

I sat there for a moment, hoping it would come back on, and slightly annoyed that I would have to rewrite my email, but nothing happened. I clicked the power button but it was still dead. I stumbled my way across the room, banging into my bed, and tried to turn on my light, but to no avail. The power was dead.

A tapping at the window alerted me to someone's presence, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I stood there for a moment with wide eyes, frozen in place with fear, until I saw someone's golden eyes shining out at me. I breathed a sigh of relief and flipped open the lock and stepped back to allow in the large form of Emmett.

"Hey Bella," he greeted quietly. "I'm gonna grab towel," he told me before disappearing and returning with several towels. "Don't look," he told me, winking and faking an embarrassed tone.

I shook my head at him, snorting and felt my way back to my bed, my eyes still not yet adjusted. When Emmett alerted me to his decency I looked back to find him with a towel around his waist and one over his shoulders.

"Sorry, I didn't want to get your room all wet," he told me grinning. He looked around and frowned. "You can't see very well right now, can you? I'll be right back."

I pulled my knees up to my chest on my bed and waited for his return. He came back not a moment later carrying some candles. He flipped open his lighter and lit the candles, placing them throughout the room to illuminate it should I choose to walk around. I studied the lighter he left on my bed. It was a shiny silver Zippo lighter with a confederate flag on it. It reminded me violently of Jasper.

"Emmett?" I called. He looked up from placing the last candle near the window. "This lighter..."

Emmett grinned widely. "It's pretty cool, huh? I won it from Jasper after a wrestling match a couple months ago. Boy was he mad. He's been trying to win it back ever since."

"Huh," I said. Of course it was Jasper's. It was so him. "Sorry about your clothes," I said, feeling a bit guilty. "If I knew it was you who was watching I would have asked you in."

Emmett laughed loudly. "Don't worry about it. I like to walk around half naked in front of ladies, but don't tell Rose." He wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively and I threw a pillow at him. "Shhh," Emmett laughingly said. "Charlie just woke up."

Emmett ducked into my closet, not an easy task for him, and we waited for Charlie. After about a minute he knocked on my door and poked his head in.

"Hey Bells. Power go out?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, gesturing around at the candles.

Charlie looked at me for a moment then asked, "What are you doing?"

I suddenly realized how odd it must look for me to be simply laying on my bed and staring around. I colored a little and replied, "Just thinking."

"Hmm," Charlie agreed. "Well, goodnight."

"Night Dad," I called as he closed the door. After another minute Emmett came back out and in a few more he could discern Charlie's snores again.

"What's the matter Bella?" Emmett asked, sinking down on the bed next to me. I moved over to make room for him.

I sighed. "I'm just in a bad mood," I confessed.

"Date with Edward didn't go so well?" he guessed. I nodded my head in affirmation. "Bad kiss goodnight?"

I snorted. "You could say that," I replied, somewhat embarrassed that I was discussing this.

Emmett chuckled lightly, throwing his arm around my shoulder. "Don't worry about it Bella. Edward's always been a prude. You'll just have to work harder to seduce him," he winked.

I shook my head and yawned. "Are you watching me all night?" I asked.

"Jasper's supposed to come near morning," he told me. At my sudden alarm he hastened to add, "But I don't mind staying all night."

"Sorry I'm being so selfish," I told him quietly.

Emmett gave my arm a squeeze. "Don't worry about it. I'll just flaunt it around that I got to sleep with Bella Swan. That'll make them all jealous, especially in town."

I shoved Emmett playfully and flushed while he laughed. "You will not," I said.

Emmett chuckled some more. "Okay, okay. Maybe just around the house," he told me with a wicked grin. I shook my head. This was definitely a lost cause. Emmett ruffled my hair and said quietly, "Why don't you get some sleep?"

I agreed and he went to blow out the candles and sit on the rocking chair, grabbing a book off the shelf. "Night Emmett," I whispered.

"Night Bella," he replied.

**

When I woke up the next day Emmett said a quick goodbye and I went to take a shower. Afterwards I met Charlie downstairs for breakfast and was pleased to see the power running again.

"I think I'll hang out at La Push today," I told him.

"Sounds good. The game is on, I'll watch it with Billy," Charlie replied. Good. At least he would be protected.

I washed my dishes then called Jake to let him know we were coming down. He agreed heartily and couldn't wait to see me. He was getting sick of being forced to watch games with Billy.

I brushed my teeth and gathered my things before meeting Charlie downstairs. We decided to take the cruiser.

Jake opened the door when we arrived there a while later and smiled at us widely. "Hey Charlie," he greeted. "Bella," he said, holding his arms out to me. I smiled, feeling stupidly giddy for no apparent reason other than Jake made me ridiculously happy. I stepped into his hug and he asked me what I wanted to do.

"I'd actually really like to visit Emily," I told him. Jacob readily agreed; there was always food ready at Emily's.

Jake drove us there in the Rabbit and Sam came out to greet us, concerned. "Did something happen?" he asked as he let us in.

"Smells good Emily," Jake called. "Nothing happened," he then explained to an impatient Sam. "Bella just wanted to visit."

"Hello," I greeted. I always felt somewhat shy with Sam, him being the leader, but he turned to me with a warm smile.

"Hello Bella. How have you been?" he asked as we walked into the kitchen where Emily was baking brownies.

"Oh you know. Going to school, struggling with Calculus, vampires hunting me. The usual," I replied nonchalantly.

Sam laughed. "Good then?"

I grinned back at him, put at east with his friendly demeanor. "Good," I replied. "Emily," I greeted as she came over, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Hey Bella!" she greeted enthusiastically. She hugged me tightly and I noticed something that wasn't there before. I looked down at her stomach before looking back up to Emily. She positively glowed as she walked over to Sam and kissed him. "Three months now," she informed me.

My mouth dropped in surprise. "Wow! Congratulations!" Sam looked at Emily adoringly and placed his hand on her stomach, his smile growing in brightness.

Emily and I visited while Sam and Jacob went out to run patrol. "We've been wanting kids for a while," Emily told me when I gave her my congratulations again, "so we're so happy. You should have seen Sam when I first told him, I thought he was going to faint!" she giggled.

I laughed at the thought of Sam nearly fainting. He was always such a serious, strong looking man.

Emily then turned thoughtful, casting her eyes upward. "We haven't really told anyone, but I think that Sam is considering stepping down when I give birth. We'd both really like to start a family," she told me, her eyes shining.

I smiled at her, though my mind was going somewhere else. Emily was so excited about starting a family, having children and settling down. It caused a bunch of 'what ifs' within me. If I was turned into a vampire I wouldn't be able to have any children, not that I'd cared much for them. But my maternal instincts sometimes longed for kids. Then again, forever with the man I love was fairly more tempting than raising children.

Emily sighed happily and stroked her stomach, smiling goofily at me.

I grinned at her. The sheer amount of love that poured out of her whenever she talked about or was near Sam was impossible to dismiss. "I'm so happy for you two," I told her again. "That's really great."

Emily smiled and handed me a glass of lemonade. "So Bella," she told me with an expectant look.

"So?" I asked, drawing out the word.

Emily rolled her eyes. "What happened with Edward and Jasper? And don't lie to me, I know when a girl is lying about love."

I groaned internally. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing is happening. I'm with Edward, Jasper is with Alice."

Emily shook her head disapprovingly. "I guess I should ask you what you intend on doing. Don't try to pretend, I could tell how much you wished it was Jasper sitting with you and not Edward yesterday," she prompted, her tone melting into one of concern.

I groaned out loud this time and wiped my face with my hands. "I really don't know what I can do."

"Well, who do you want to be with?" she asked me, all in suspense.

I took a moment to think about it. Of course I loved Edward. I had missed him while he was gone, despite falling in love with Jasper. The memories we had had together, Edward and I, were so sweet and I honestly longed to return to them. But at the same time I realized just how deeply I cared for Jasper. At times it was stifling, and yet so filling that I thought my heart would burst just from the thought of it.

"I don't know," I told her honestly. I was silent for a few moments before hesitantly adding, "But would it be very bad of me if I said that maybe I would like to be with Jasper?"

Emily smiled at me and patted my hand. "I would have thought you utterly deceived if you hadn't said that," she told me.

We spent the better part of the morning engaged in conversation and around noon I helped her make up sandwiches for all the boys. She expected most, if not the entire pack to be there. It was almost a daily occurrence.

We had just finished up when said pack filed indoors, laughing loudly and shoving each other. Jake lead them in and reached around me to grab several sandwiches off the plate.

Quil whistled and winked at us. "Geez Jake, why didn't you tell me you and Bella were an item?" he asked cheekily.

Jake grabbed a magnet off the fridge and threw it at him. "Shut it Quil," he warned, giving me an apologetic look. I just smiled at him, embarrassed and amused at the same time. We moved to sit around the table and I was just finishing up my own plate when the phone rang.

"Would you mind getting that Bella?" Emily asked. She was currently engaged in cutting up the brownies and passing them out to the boys.

I hastened to the phone and picked it up on its third ring. "Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Edward?" I asked confused.

"Finally," he sighed relieved. "I called your house but you weren't there. So I had to call the Black's and they said you were at Emily's house."

I remembered my anger at him but it had dissipated in the hours since we'd been apart, and I couldn't bring myself to bring it back up, especially when he sounded so alarmed.

"Yeah. Um, what's wrong?" I asked hesitantly. Surely he wasn't mad that I had come to visit my friends.

"It's Alice. Her vision changed," he told me quickly. "She saw Victoria at the border of the reservation, and you were just leaving it in Charlie's cruiser."

"What?" I cried. "Does she know when?"

There was a silence for the briefest moment. "Today," he said at last.

My heart went cold with dread or fear, I'm not sure which. Victoria was waiting for me at the border? How could she be so bold? Why would she even think of such a thing?

"Bella?" he asked, concerned. I noticed how it suddenly was very quiet in the room.

"I'm here. Do you know what time?"

"Sunset."

Jacob came up behind me and took the phone from me. I leaned back against him and started hyperventilating. This was not good, this was definitely not good. Charlie was here. We weren't prepared for her this soon. What if someone got hurt?

"Yeah, we'll see you soon." Jake hung up the phone and walked me over to the couch, where Emily sat down with me. He turned back to the pack and spoke in low terms of what had just happened. I sat there in more than mild shock, my mind playing over the conversation again and again until I heard Sam open the door.

Emily held my arm and we followed the pack outside to where Jasper and Sam were discussing what to do. After much deliberation they decided to have me drive out with the cruiser with the pack running along in the forest behind me and the Cullens waiting just behind them, deeper into the forest. When the wolves began their attack, the Cullens would join them, luring the Victoria away from public sight.

"Charlie?" I managed to force out when it seemed as if all deliberation had completed.

"I'll call my dad and have him as Charlie to stay the night. They can go fishing or something tonight and tomorrow morning so that they won't be in harm's way," Jake soothed me, brushing my hair behind my ear and giving me a smile. I nodded gratefully, still unable to speak.

Alice came up to me then with Esme. The former grabbed my hand and the latter wrapped her arm around my waist. "Don't worry Bella, we'll take care of you," Alice told me quietly.

I nodded at her, taking in her worried smile and I couldn't help it. I started to cry. I cried because I felt terrible about the strained relationship between not only her and Jasper, but Alice and myself. I hugged her tightly and Alice rubbed my back soothingly.

"Shh Bella. It's okay, don't worry," Alice murmured. Esme was running her hand over my hair, petting my soothingly.

"I just, I just really want to be friends," I told her as quietly as I could.

Alice smiled at me, and for once I could detect a hint of the old her. "I do too," she told me simply.

I wiped my face on my sleeve and sighed. Even if everything else went utterly wrong, at least I had reconciled, to some degree, with Alice. At the very least I could rest in easier peace.

The next few hours were incredibly nerve wracking for Emily, Esme and myself, though most everyone seemed at ease, and some were even excited for the upcoming battle. Charlie called me to inform me that he would be staying over at Billy's so that they could have an impromptu fishing trip and I told him that was completely fine, to be safe and that I loved him.

Finally, as the sun began its descent in the sky, we all moved into position. Instead of taking Charlie's cruiser it was determined that I would drive Jake's Rabbit out. I only hoped that this didn't change things too much, in addition to worrying that everything would be okay.

"Bella," Edward called softly, grabbing my arm as I prepared to get in the rabbit.

I looked up at him nervously. I didn't even bother trying to speak.

After a moment of intense deliberation and staring at me, Edward bent forward and captured my lips with his own, kissing me thoroughly, and with so much passion I almost wished we could escape somewhere else.

"I love you," he told me quietly. "Be careful."

I nodded my head, still a bit dazed at what had just transpired. Jake came over, a large scowl on his face, and told me how to best work his car before disappearing into the forest. I looked around and I was alone. Everyone was in position.

I started the car and kicked it into gear, driving away from Emily's house. I looked back and she waved at me, her face scrunched up with worry.

I had only been driving for about a minute before the passenger door opened and someone hopped inside. In a panic I let go of the wheel and stared at the intruder. "Jasper!" I gasped, placing my hands over my heart.

Jasper smiled at me and grabbed the wheel, steering until I reclaimed it. "What the hell were you thinking?" I grumbled, suddenly self-conscious and worried and in love.

Jasper stared at me for a while before answering. "I couldn't let you go alone," he told me softly. I glanced at him and noted how his hand was just a few inches away from my own. How I wished he would grab my own and hold it tightly.

"Thank you," I squeaked.

"Just take a deep breath and relax. You can do this," Jasper told me. "If you squeak anymore I'll be inclined to think of you as a mouse."

I huffed at him. "Easy for you to say," I replied. I bit my lip worriedly. "Do you think everyone will be okay?" I asked. We were getting very near the edge of the reservation and my panic was returning full force.

"They're all ready. Just worry about you," Jasper told me. I nodded my head, still unable to look at him. My grip on the wheel was painful and I couldn't help but glance out the window into the forest every other second. "Ready?" Jasper asked quietly as the sign came into view. His voice was tense and it alerted me to just how nervous he was too. "They're here," he told me.

I gulped, nodding my head. "Uh huh."

Jasper grabbed my free hand and held it tightly in his. "You'll be fine," he reassured me once again. "And Bella?" He waited until I turned towards him before he leaned in quickly and gave me a kiss right on the lips. "I love you," he told me.

Not a second later the car came to a violent halt. Victoria stood before me, her red hair whipping in the wind. "Bella," she sneered, her lip curling. She turned to Jasper with another violent smile, her soprano voice tinkling with laughter. "Jasper. I've got a friend whose been dying to see you again," she told him.

Jasper left the car and was at my side instantly, pulling open the door for me. I stumbled out and hid behind him. Jasper stiffened as two other vampires walked out to meet him. Jasper grabbed something from within the car and sneered at the approaching form of Laurent.

He threw something at him which Laurent caught with his remaining arm. It took me a moment to realize that Jasper had thrown the arm he had ripped off back to its owner. "How else would it be a fair fight?" Jasper taunted. Laurent hissed at him.

"I see your manners are still the same," came a silky voice from behind Laurent.

This time Jasper stilled completely and he took a step backwards, closer to me. A woman vampire stepped into view, her olive skin pale and her dark hair blowing softly in the breeze. Behind her I noticed at least a dozen other vampires waiting tensely in a line. These must be the newborns.

"Maria," Jasper hissed.

She walked right up to him, passing her glance over me and licking her lips, a smile breaking out on her face.

"Hello Jasper," she whispered, her accent much thicker than Jasper's own. She struck him across the face and I screamed.

A/N: Okay, I was alerted to this story called Cold Desert by my-heart-is-just-as-silent. Things are a little confusing at first, but by chapter 4 you understand what is going on, and oh the angst kills you! It's a Jasper/Bella story, and it has a very interesting idea put to it, that I haven't read about before. I would definitely give it a shot, and let the author know what you think!

Also, thank you to the usuals, namely JaspersBella and Sunshine and Chocolate. I am sorry I've not really gotten back to you, but believe me I appreciate everything. And I'll get my butt working on the story. Thank you to all my reviewers. As slow as it might be I promise to finish the story.