A/N:

Apologies for the extemely late update! But as promised (LezBot) I have not given up on the story, just lacked time in addition to motivation as well as the fact that I don't really like writing dark chapters (yeah the irony as I came up with the plot!).

Well hope you all enjoy it.

WARNING

Angst, extreme angst, description of past bloodshed by Yamato that he remembers. Nothing to horrific...well I don't think it is.

Chapter 18

Yamato blinked clearing his vision, his mind was hazy and his body was limp. But something was keeping him upright, he blinked again as his vision came into focus. He found himself being supported by a snake bound around his abdomen as it hovered its sneering face just above his head; tongue revealingly slithering in and out of its mouth. He heard a hiss behind him as another being moved out of the shadow into his vision "well, well, well" it hissed as it drew nearer. "I warned you against running. I told you, you were mine did I not?" the face came into view "Lab rat" Orochimaru smirked in his true form, a scaly face with fangs bared on a snakes white body "Your mine Tenzou" he hissed with laughter.

"You've escaped my notice for far too long Tenzou" the scaly face came closer, tongue flicking "now I will claim back what is mine" the raspy voice hissed in Yamato's ear. Yamato's breathing was harsh, his eyes blown wide in horror and his body stiffened as he took in the scene in front of him. "What have you become?" Yamato said through gritted teeth looking at the form before him with distress. The sight of the legendary Sanin was disturbing. Orochimaru saw the look on Yamato's face and glowered into the large almond eyes "I won't be like this for long young Tenzou" Orochimaru shrilled as he dived at Yamato suddenly "You will help me finish what I started" he shrieked as he hit Yamato square in the chest.

Yamato's body was knocked backwards as all the air rushed out of him to be replaced by a great force. His vision whited out as he felt himself falling, falling into a depth he couldn't grasp as a swirl of familiarly disturbing energy passed through and around him in a haze. He heard the echoes of Orochimaru's slithering voice whispering mine, don't fight it, you will finish what I started!

"No" Yamato tried to say and find his vocal cords wouldn't work "No!" he strained and found he heard a small whisper that he could barely distinguish from the sound of the swirling energy that surrounded him . "Nobody knows you better than I do, lab rat" the whispers carried on "don't fight it" he felt something brush his cheek "they don't need you". "NO" Yamato tried again and was shockedto hear a hiss emerge from his own throat. This isn't happening he told himself as he looked down at his body changing into something he didn't recognise "you can't do this!" Yamato shouted his voice shockingly taking on Orochimaru's raspy tone further. "NO, NO, NO!" Yamato gasped in the hissing tone sending more shivers down his back as the swirling energy slowly absorbed his every cell.

Suddenly Yamato's mind went back, back into that dark deep space he had fought so hard to get out of. Images flashed past him unrecognised, tress, rivers, mountains. Drip, drip, drip is all he heard, it echoed in the stillness. On closer inspection he recognised the cause of the dripping sound. Blood. Blood dripped from all angles, partially covering the leaves of every tree above him, shrouding the blue of the river and staining the white of the snow topped mountains. "What is this?" Yamato hissed "What are you doing?"

The echo of laughter filtered through to Yamato's ears "you're no different to me Tenzou" the voice resonated in his ear then bounced away, he couldn't place it "all this blood" the images before him changed as mountains, rivers, trees came crashing towards him. "All this blood…it's what you shed Tenzou" Orochimaru's voiced cackled with laughter "look around you" Yamato felt his feet move of its own accord as he turned to take in the surrounding covered in blood and then faces, faces he thought he had long forgotten emerged. Each and every person's whose blood he had shed, no matter how evil, had left a dent in Yamato's gentle soul and they all mocked him now. Murderer! Not so big now are you? Where's your stolen jutsu? Murderer! Screams, cries, gasping, it all surrounded Yamato as he screamed "NO! NO! NO!" closing his eyes and covering his ears blocking out the sounds "it was for the good of the village!" he shouted as he heard the screams muffled by his hands covering his ears "for the good of the village" he whimpered.

Orochimaru's taunting laugh was again in his ear "give up Tenzou" Yamato tried to get away from the mocking voice "you won't win this battle, so don't fight it anymore". Yamato struggled against Orochimaru's hold; he had to stop Orochimaru from taking over. He couldn't take it, the voices, the faces, the bloodshed. He couldn't breathe. Pant, pant, pant. And then out of know where there was calm. His ears rang from the stillness as he floated and lost consciousness to the depth for what seemed like days.

"Yamato" came the gentle whisper from the stillness "Ya-Ma" said another teasing voice. Yamato stopped struggling and opened his eyes blinking at the sight before him. "Yamato" said the familiar voice as the person smiled down at him. "You just going to sit there Yama?" said the second voice with a smirk "come on, take his hand", Yamato carried on staring "wh-what's going on?" he asked. Before him stood Iruka with his hand out to Yamato as Kakashi looked over his shoulder with his trade mark crinkle in the eye, smile beckoning him to move. "You're not real" he told them. "Yama" Iruka said in exasperation "take my hand baby" he smiled back down at him.

It's not possible Yamato thought still looking at both his lovers. "We haven't got all day Yama, come on, I want to show you something" Kakashi shouted over his shoulder as he walked away. Yamato blinked a few times "Kakashi wait" Yamato called out and then reached tentatively for Iruka's hand even though he knew this couldn't be true. As Yamato's fingers got closer to Iruka's who stood smiling his bright smile at Yamato, an object shot out and whizzed past Yamato's peripheral vision towards the beaming Iruka. "Iruka NO!" Yamato shouted as he pulled out a kunai to protect his lover and turned towards the attacker to be faced by darkness. Before Yamato could form hand seals he felt the splash of a warm substance hit the back of his neck, he turned to direct his attack in that direction but as he did his eyes grew wide and his blood run cold.

Yamato's soul was tormented as he dropped to his knees and reached out for Iruka. Iruka, his gentle Iruka, who was still smiling as his body was thrusted forwards as a sword protruded from his stomach towards Yamato. The realisation hit him then that the wet feeling on his neck was actually Iruka's blood. Yamato cried our brokenly as he reached for Iruka who was being dragged backwards with the sword. "Iruka" he screamed struggling to reach his lover as he was disappearing into the darkness, but then he precipitously noticed the scaly body of a white snake to the side, wrapped tightly around Kakashi's body, whose face had gone purple with the constraint. Yamato froze in fear and utter shock feeling helpless. "Told you your no use to them" the snake leered reading Yamato's mind "we could have avoided this" Orochimaru's voice reached Yamato through his haze" they actually loved you lab rat. You who was unwanted. And where did that get them?" Orochimaru laughed manically "look at them" he hissed "you did this!"

Yamato continued to stare as the words reached his ears they actually loved you he heard the hiss you did this. Yamato went further into shock as Iruka's blood pooled around his lifeless body and Kakashi's head fell back his skin taking on a horrid tone of grey. You did this Orochimaru's voice echoed again; Yamato looked up into the darkness and met the white snakes yellow gaze. "Why?" he asked "Why them?" he shrilled at the snake "Aahhhh!" he screamed running at the snake and pounding on its scale with his bare fists "Aahhhh!" he screamed once more shattering all the walls that he had built in his mind to protect himself and those around him. But now he had nothing to live for. He continued his attack as hundreds of fangs descended on him without trying to defend. He felt the fangs pierce his body but he felt no pain. He attacked with no fear, no hesitations, no preservations; there was nothing to live for any more, nothing at all. He felt numb. "NO!" he screamed repeatedly and when the snake grew larger he dove into the abyss of the snake's mouth as it engulfed him whole. From the inside Yamato let loose his jutsu with a sky shattering scream. Roots, branches, and even splinters erupted from every pore of his skin and his conscious faded to black.

-oOo-

Kakashi and Raidou lead a 3-man squad each as they rushed through the forest towards two locations nearby that they knew were former Orochimaru hideouts. Suddenly the forest around them erupted as hoards of animals and birds run/flew towards them. Kakashi swung on impulse, narrowly avoided a large bird of prey flying past him and climbed higher to avoid further animals and bird scouring for cover. As he landed on the branch he felt it tremor beneath him, he looked up just in time to see earth up ahead explode into a large dust storm from which erupted out mud, rocks, and trees that burst in all directions . Kakashi held on tight shielding himself with one arm from the flying debris. Yamato his head screamed at him as his heart pounded in his ears as the dust cloud settled. What Kakashi thought was debris erupting from the explosion ahead was actually a forest of large trees taking root in the ground and branches reaching magnificently towards the sky. Any other time, Kakashi would have marvelled at the beauty before him but now his heart pounded faster as fear gripped him. The eruption of the trees could only mean one thing. Yamato Kakashi whispered as he high tailed it towards the eruption sight ignoring the debris still flying towards him. The loss of control over the jutsu was what Kakashi had dreaded and why he was so willing to offer his body to Orochimaru. I won't lose you Yamato Kakashi said swallowing down the bile that threatened him, as he flew through the forest in desperation.

The loss of control, the eruption of such a large mass of trees could only mean that Yamato was no more…Orochimaru had won.