So, I must admit- this chapter is by far the one I am most proud of and I can keep it from you no longer. If you leave no other reviews at least review this one, please.

Chapter 16: Sand in the Hourglass

The word 'relationship' was still bouncing around in Alice's head when the night gave way to morning, and especially when she heard Claire stir around 2 a.m. and sigh with disappointment.

They had a little more than 800 miles until they finally crossed into Alaska, and Alice estimated they would be there with two more days of driving and one more stop for fuel. After that the plan was to head towards Anchorage until they found a place to set up for winter.

Claire was at the wheel when they drove into the Yukon and pulled off the forested road for the evening. Alice was tempted to offer to drive through the night just so she could avoid a situation similar to last night. She decided to bring it up after dinner.

As the survivors ate their meager meal outside of the Hummer, Alice rummaged through her saddle bag to find the leather string. She cut the correct length and tied the newly cleaned bear claw to it in a special knot.

Alice waited until K-mart was alone, Claire having left to clean their utensils, and approached the girl with her hand in a fist around the piece of jewelry just like the teen had done to her.

K-mart raised an uncertain eyebrow and then held out her hand.

Alice released it with a comment. "Don't worry; you can't be infected by it."

The teen held up the claw; its two inches of length seemed massive in her hand.

"I-it's beautiful."

Alice chuckled. "I don't know if beautiful is the word I would have used," she thought for a moment, "maybe badass."

"I don't kn-know what to sa-say."

"Thank you – usually suffices."

K-mart smiled dimly and then looked back down at the claw. "M-my dad was al-always big on hunting. Al-always bragged a-about the time he took down a bear."

The teen's eyes began to water, and Alice knew she wasn't ready for the girl's emotional life story. Where's Claire when I need her?

"Wouldn't let me ne-near his guns though, said they were too da-dangerous."

Either from Claire's reemergence or the teen's ability to sense Alice's unease, K-mart stopped talking and placed the cord around her neck. The blonde couldn't just leave the teen like that though.

"Well, you've got your father's blood in you, kid."

K-mart wiped the tears from her eyes as Claire approached her and enveloped her in a hug. Alice left to give the two space in hopes that the redhead could take over, and that K-mart would finally open up to the one who watched out for her since the death of her father and more than likely her entire family.

Claire's words from the other night came back to Alice, specifically those about forgiveness as she heard K-mart's crying on the wind. A chill sent shivers down her spine, but it wasn't from the breeze. The clouds were condensing around her in the darkening sky as the trees began to sway. There was a storm coming. She could smell rain on the air, and they wouldn't be driving if it was bad as Alice predicted. That flat out pissed her off.

The blonde snuck to the back of the Hummer, and she could overhear K-mart and Claire's conversation as she quietly opened the hatch.

"I miss th-them. I mi-miss them all s-so much."

"I know you do," Claire comforted as the blonde dug through one of her bags. "But you're not alone. You've got me, and we've got Alice."

Oh Claire, if only you knew how much that isn't true, Alice thought, and then smirked with masochistic glee when she finally found what she was looking for. Now, she didn't have to listen the girl's sorrow, didn't have to deal with the guilt she was feeling, didn't have to face the real reason she'd been hunting through her pack – not with a bottle of Jack in hand and alcohol in her altered blood.

She didn't even worry about the noise of slamming the back of the Hummer, but it was hidden just the same by a loud crash of thunder overhead. The rain had yet to start, but the atmosphere was in uproar as Alice walked away from the vehicle.

The blonde held the bottle up but didn't drink from it; she considered once what was actually driving her to do this.

Claire…

Her mind couldn't form the thought past that single word. She put the glass to her lips, and took a long swallow as lightning flashed behind her closed eyes.

The blonde roamed the woods nearby with absolutely no destination in mind, and no attention to how far she was going or what she was leaving behind. The wind was cut significantly when she got deeper into the forest. Rain began to fall and collect on the leaves above her until the flat blades couldn't hold the weight any longer. Water pelted down on her in heavy drops.

Her clothes became soaked as she finished the first half of the liquid. Her vision was fogged with inebriation, and her balance was so offset that she tripped over the root of a tree and stumbled to her knees. Her only concern was for the whiskey that was left, and she decided to crawl up to the tree that crippled her so she could lean against its trunk and finish getting blitzed. The alcohol's effect was exaggerated by her lack of sustenance over the past week, and she quickly succumbed to complete intoxication.

Alice couldn't tell if it was the cold rain or the liquor that made her skin pale and clammy, but had she been in any sense of awareness she would've realized that her slowed breathing pointed to a dangerous level of alcohol poisoning. Anyone else probably would've blacked out and died from drowning in their own vomit. To Alice, anyone else would've been lucky.

The storm was drawing closer; every strike of lightning was coupled with a deafening explosion of thunder as the blonde enjoyed the destruction that played out in front of her. Her buzz was beginning to turn from the hazed state of bliss to a dangerous one of anger.

At first she was enraged to the point that blame was easy to pawn off on someone else. She believed completely that humankind let her down. I tried to help; I did everything I could. I wasn't the one who failed, they failed me. Then she started to think of the two survivors she was with. Every moment that led up to the one where Claire's Hummer barreled down the road in that Colorado town was a moment to regret. It brought her happiness, and on a moral whim she knew that was wrong. Her contentment shouldn't have been brought on by the death of billions. Each fatality fell on her weighted shoulders like sand collected in an hourglass – individual grains couldn't constitute an hour, but as a whole her guilt could destroy her.

Still, she wasn't thinking of the reason she'd escaped into the woods.

Claire…

In rash fury Alice slammed her left fist down, her right one was occupied with holding the liquor bottle. Her wrist broke as her watch smashed against a rock she hadn't known was there. Fuck! She rapidly looked at the smashed device, and then had to turn away as tears emerged.

The bones in her wrist healed, but Alice's timepiece would not and she was in agony. Suddenly the wind changed directions, and another sound besides that of clouds crashing together could be heard.

Alice didn't worry herself about the fact that it was a human voice – Claire's voice, and she was calling out her name. A flash of light illuminated the redhead; she was soaking wet and completely distraught a few yards away.

When the light died the blonde watched Claire's silhouette continue to search for her as the redhead's frantic tone pierced the wind until it was overtaken by the rumbling sky. Another lightning bolt struck, and in the bright light Alice's blue eyes met Claire's. She couldn't read the expression on Claire's face at the sight of her because in another instant they were thrown into darkness. Next thing she knew, the redhead was at her side and the storm kept on.

Alice felt Claire's hands reach under her arms to lift her to her feet as she pleaded. "Alice! What's wrong?"

The blonde said nothing as she stood, but she was too dizzy to stay up so she fell out of Claire's hold. The empty bottle hit the ground next to her. There was a double flash of lightning and the glass reflected the strikes like a mirror, but in the light all Alice could do was stare at the way the rain fell from Claire's nose.

The redhead berated her. "You're drunk! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You know what, Claire?" Alice asked, her words slurred though the emotions behind them came through just the same. "Everybody has their poison…and I think I'm yours." She stood using the tree to keep her up this time as she continued. "I'm so bad for you, yet you can't help yourself. Am I right or am I right?"

Claire shook her head as she waited for a bout of thunder to pass. "You're wrong. You're not bad for me Alice, but you're damn bad for yourself."

"Say whatever the fuck you want, but it's always – blue for the virus, green for the anti-virus."

Claire shouted to keep her voice above the oscillating wind. "You're not making any sense!"

"What's not to understand?" It made perfect sense to Alice. She remembered the color of her eyes and looked into Claire's. Yes, it's completely obvious. "Blue for the fucking virus! God, Claire!" she cursed in aggravation.

"Why are you doing this?"

Before drinking, Alice would've been able to keep her lips sealed, but the alcohol in her system made the truth that she'd been avoiding pour from her like champagne at a wedding.

"I can't die."

"What? What are you talking about?" Claire questioned.

Tears stung Alice's eyes again and fell to mix with the rain on her skin. "I'm not getting any older. I heal from every wound – I'm never going to die!" She was close to becoming hysterical in her breakdown though it was no longer spurned mostly by alcohol. "I don't want to be forced to remain here after – after you…"

The redhead took Alice's hands in her own and squeezed them, but the blonde couldn't bring herself to return the gesture. She rose from the support of the tree, but her legs were too weak to hold her and she collapsed to her knees. Claire echoed the motions, and met her tormented gaze. It was then, with their hands joined as they kneeled in the mud and rain, that Alice had the realization that had the near effect of total sobriety and that would change her forever.

I love her.

Alice looked down for an instant, the revelation made her heart pound and she knew only the color of Claire's eyes could soothe her. She lifted her head back up and fixed her sight on Claire as she mouthed the hopeful words so prominent in her mind.

"Green for the anti-virus."

The redhead was still confused, so Alice tried again.

This time the declaration could not be misconstrued. "I've gone from needing nobody, to needing so much – to needing you. I can't live without you." It was the closest she could get to admitting her feelings; she yearned for it to be enough.

Claire's olive green eyes never left hers as she moved in to kiss the blonde, but Alice closed hers tightly when their lips touched. She trembled at the sweetness of it.

The redhead continued to kiss her, and Alice was certain that it was because there were no words that could possibly bring her any kind comfort from the reality that one day Claire would die and leave her all alone.

When they stopped, Alice remembered the storm that was going on around them. She knew that she was freezing, and that Claire had to be feeling likewise. If the redhead got sick now, it would be on her.

Alice pulled Claire to her feet, keeping one of Claire's hands in hers and looked around in anxiety. They were surrounded by trees, and she realized that she was lost.

"Which way?" she requested.

The redhead turned left and pointed. "The Hummer is back that way."

Alice led her in the new direction by their clasped hands until Claire walked fast enough to stay parallel with her. The blonde had no sense of time as they trekked through the woods, but suddenly there was a sharp crack of lightning.

The bolt of hot electricity hit the tree in front of them and caused the tree to catch fire; then begin to split at its lowermost fork. Alice paused and watched a thick, burning branch separate from the rest. She immediately wrapped her arms around Claire who had gotten a step ahead of her, and pulled the woman back.

The limb fell to the ground mere inches from where Claire had been a moment before, and Alice tried to take a breath to settle her pulsating heart. Smoke filled her nostrils instead as the fire consuming the wet tree burned out. That was way too fucking close.

Alice took to the front again as they walked around the storm caused wreckage. It was still raining when the yellow vehicle came into view, but the storm had lessened considerably. The blonde was struck with the question of how to get the redhead warm.

Her course of action decided a second later, she thought with a smirk, gotta respect the classics. Alice walked Claire to the rear of the Hummer and voiced a single syllable.

"Strip."

Claire was taken aback. "What?"

"You heard me," Alice said as she began to pull off her own wet clothes. "Strip."

The redhead began to undress, but Alice felt she should explain. "You'll get warmer faster if we both lay naked under a blanket in the back."

"No arguments here," Claire responded and Alice could hear the smile behind her words.

The last thing left to remove on Alice was her busted watch. She pulled out the strap and unhooked it. The blonde held it in her right hand for a moment, and then let it fall to the ground without looking at it. Fear threatened to overwhelm her, but she pushed it down as she collected their clothes. She laid them out on the hood of the Hummer to dry when the rain stopped as Claire climbed into the back seat.

The relative darkness spared everyone the embarrassment of being naked in front of K-mart who was still awake and worried in the passenger seat.

"A-Alice?"

"I'm here," she responded as she joined Claire. The teen breathed a sigh of relief and finally settled down to sleep.

Claire already had a blanket out, and Alice pulled it back so she could get in behind the shivering redhead. Her own skin was like ice, but it was still warmer than Claire's. She enfolded the redhead in her arms beneath the wool fabric as it absorbed some of the rainwater. Alice couldn't help her smile or the warmth that was beginning to wash through her as Claire cuddled deeper into her embrace.

Don't forget, everyone-

It's always blue for the virus, green for the anti-virus.

Hopefully you see what I was getting at.