A/N: I'm ashamed over how long it has taken me to update. It's been one long and yet very short fall. My Master's have been haunting me, there have been personal issues popping up at the most inconvenient times, and my fics have been sorely ignored, which I should punish myself for. Oh, wait... Already done that, I've gone almost 80 days without chocolate. If that isn't punishment, then I don't know what is. Anyhow, I wish you all a Merry Christmas. This is my gift to you, because you all rock so incredibly much. Enjoy chapter 28!
Disclaimer: I, the author of this story, do not own any of the characthers associated with Gilmore Girls. That honor belongs to the wonderful Amy Sherman-Palladino. I have no intention of making any money on this (in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm losing money over it…).
28. Shit hitting proverbial fans and inexhaustible Get out of Jail Free cards
"Let me see it! Come on, let me, let me, let me!"
Lorelai was bouncing up and down on her chair, her hands snatching at the copy of Metro in her daughter's hands.
"Stop acting like you're on uppers, little It might get brain damage if you keep it up like that," Rory retorted playfully, keeping the paper well away from her mother's greedy hands.
They were in Stars Hollow for the weekend to sign for a shipment of furniture for the new place, which still didn't have a name. Jess had managed, after a long discussion that included profanities, threats, pleas and non-stop white knuckles, to reach a compromise with Cammie and Matt about what the place would look like. Cammie would get her candles, Matt would get one leather arm chair and Jess would get the assorted odd couches, chairs and book cases. Cammie and Matt also got one red wall, which had been fixed last weekend, and by some miracle, Taylor had not yet reared his ugly head with a bunch of phony paragraphs in tow.
The first shipment of books would arrive next week, and Cammie, who'd already moved to Stars Hollow, would be there to sign for it. Rory would stay, and temporarily move into her old room until Jess wrapped everything up in Philly, after which they would move into the apartment above Luke's until they could find something better. Not that Jess expected it to be easy to find something better after Taylor got wind of the fact that not only had Jess opened a business in Stars Hollow, he was looking to move there, for a longer period of time.
At the moment, Jess and Cammie were out on town, while Rory sat at home, sipping coffee and teasing Lorelai with the Metro-issue that contained her first column. She already had her next one written, and just waited for the deadline to come around so she could send it in.
"Hand it over already, or I will bounce, ferociously," Lorelai threatened, trying to look dead-serious.
"Go ahead," Rory replied teasingly. "You bounce and I will tell on you."
Threatening with telling Luke was an effective measure of getting Lorelai to stop acting like a four-year-old. She'd rather yield in a standstill than have Luke lecture her on the multiple dangers she put the baby in by just getting out of bed.
"You are so playing dirty, missy. Why can't I see it? You've already sent a copy to grandma and grandpa, and I know this because she called a boasted about how incredible it was and then gloated because I hadn't read it yet."
Rory sighed theatrically.
"You are so high maintenance. Were you like this when you had me?"
She threw the paper over to her mother, who happily snatched it and began browsing it for the column.
"Sweetie, I drove myself to the emergency room, what do you think?" Lorelai replied. "What page are you on?"
"Page five, upper right corner."
Lorelai frantically flipped the pages and searched the page until her eyes zoomed in on the spot where Rory knew her column was. She smiled as she saw her mother pull all kinds of faces, mostly happy ones, at what she had written. Rory could guess which things that made her smile. Some of their finest moments had made their way into that column.
"Aaw, sweets, that was so good!" Lorelai finally gave her verdict, putting down the paper.
"Really?" Although Gerald had praised the column, her mother's praise was worth so much more. "It wasn't... too much? Not much enough?"
"It was great, kid, you've really found your place in the world of the employed with this."
"I wouldn't say I've definitely found my place in the world, but this is a good start, at least," Rory admitted, smiling. "If only Jess and Cammie get the place up and running, it could even become a place I'd be reluctant to leave."
At that moment, Jess came storming in through the door, cursing unintelligibly under his breath. He walked past them without even looking at them, stepped into Rory's room and slammed the door shut with a bang that made the windows rattle. Mother and daughter looked at each other, and Rory sighed.
"It's nice to dream, at least," she said, and shrugged her shoulders as she got up from the table.
"Always," Lorelai replied, glancing longingly over at the coffee maker.
Rory opened the door, and stepped in, closing it behind her. At first she didn't see Jess, but then she saw him, leaning up against her wardrobe. He had his eyes shut tight, breathing evenly through his nose, a sure sign he was trying to calm himself down.
"Something wrong?" she asked calmly, and sat down on the bed.
"Wrong?" he said, a tone of subdued rage in his voice. "Shit has hit the proverbial fan more like it."
"Cammie being Cammie again?"
"Oh, trust me, that would be freaking peachy right now. I said, shit has hit the fan."
"Oh..." It dawned on her. "Taylor. But you have all the papers in order, everything is signed and whatnot."
"He was quoting phony bylaws at me, and said that he would never approve any of our applications even if it was the last thing he did."
"He's just mean, Jess. And he can't hold back your applications if they're in order."
"I told him that!" Jess exclaimed exasperated, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor.
Rory cocked her eyebrow. Taylor was a sore point, and with Jess this aggravated, Rory doubted he had only told Taylor that he was acting wrong.
"Fine," Jess admitted. "I may have told him that not approving our application might be the last thing he'd ever do."
"Nice, Jess. Death threats always work great with Taylor," Rory quipped sardonically.
"He started it!"
"And you basically told him you'd kill them."
"Like I meant it!"
"Jess, you were talking to Taylor. He's the only person in Stars Hollow that would take a death threat from you seriously. I'm sure he's already informed the Stars Hollow police force."
"What, all three of them?"
Rory looked at him pointedly.
"Why couldn't Jackson have kept on being town selectman? It would have been so much easier," Jess muttered sourly.
"No, it wouldn't," Rory protested, and came over to him. "Taylor would still be chairman of basically every town-related association, so he'd still be there to give you hell."
"That's not so comforting, Rory."
"All I'm saying is that Taylor is an inevitability. And he can't refuse you, you've got the paperwork to prove you're legit. Come on, where's my 'I'm gonna get Taylor with paperwork'-Jess?"
"Packed away in a box," Jess deadpanned and looked up at her.
"Don't be sad. You can nail him on the next town meeting. Think about it, you come in with paperwork and everything. Mom will bring fries and throw them at people because Luke won't let her eat them, and Cammie will be there, and she will talk over Taylor's head, and everyone will be on our side," Rory coaxed, reaching out a hand to pull Jess off of the floor.
"You think?"
"If that is a bust, I promise I'll play my Town Princess-card."
"You already did that."
"Jess. The Town Princess-card is like an inexhaustible Get out of Jail Free card. Taylor wouldn't dare."
"You think you could shove it in his face now? I'd hate to wait to the next town meeting," Jess grumbled.
"He's still there?"
"Unless Cammie has scared him away, then probably."
Without another word, Rory rose, and she was already half-way to the front door before Jess realized that she was on her way to the bookstore. He couldn't help but admire her willingness to really kick Taylor's ass, although thinking about it, the entire town (save perhaps for Kirk...) would be willing to help if the task was to kick Taylor's ass. Jess got up from the floor and jogged after Rory, catching up with her when she turned onto the street from the Gilmore driveway.
"I thought Gilmores didn't run," he commented when he caught up with her. For being a person who rarely ran, Rory could move surprisingly fast.
"I know, but we walk as fast as we talk," Rory smiled teasingly. "And now I made a totally lame rhyme, which I know you will hold against me until the day I kill you for it."
"You know me so well..."
They walked the short distance from the Crap Shack to the town square. Jess looked over towards the bookstore. No Taylor in sight, maybe he had left. Cammie was nowhere in sight, which Jess couldn't determine if it was positive or negative. However, when they came closer to the store, they could hear voices from inside, and the voices were unmistakeable. Cammie and Taylor were having an argument.
"I have a bad feeling about this..." Jess murmured, and prepared himself mentally for having to pull Cammie away from Taylor before Taylor could banish Cammie. Cammie kicking Taylor's ass would any other day be fun to watch, because Jess was sure Cammie could take Taylor in a fight, but if Cammie got banished there would be no end to the amount of crap that would hit the Jess-fan.
"Calm down, Darth Agious. You created a phony crime scene and had every intention of creating a phony bidding war. This should be a cakewalk," Rory told him, holding back a snicker when she used Jess's Star Wars-name.
"You do know who's in there, don't you? My arch nemesis and my loopy, forced-upon-me sidekick. In the movies, this always turn into a disaster."
"Really? What movies?"
"Plenty!" Jess said weakly, when he couldn't come up with any good example. "Trust me."
"You are such a sissy, and I'm gonna hold that against you until the day we die."
"Oh, so when I have something to hold against you, you will kill me to end the suffering, but when you have something to hold against me, you will torment me untill the day we die?"
"It's fair isn't it?" She winked diabolically at him as they entered the bookstore.
The scene that met them was not really was Jess had imagined. The interior was still intact, Taylor was still intact. Sure, him and Cammie were arguing quite loudly, but it didn't seem to contain too much animosity. Cammie was waving a bunch of papers in front of Taylor, pointing at various paragraphs, and Taylor countered emphatically, but Cammie just flipped to another paper. They turned around when Jess cleared his throat.
"Oh, hi!" Cammie said happily. Taylor didn't even nod hello.
"What's going on here?" Jess asked darkly, looking from Cammie to Taylor.
"Oh, Mr. Doose here is trying to shut us down, and I'm just telling him that he has no grounds whatsoever to do that."
"Young lady, I have been town selectman in this town for many years, I'm telling you, your enterprise is not in line with Stars Hollow regulations, and I know my regulations!" Taylor protested wildly, looking at Cammie.
"Yeah, so do I. What do you think I've been doing while those two have been in Philly?" Cammie said, her voice full of authority. "You say you will deny our application to open up the store once it's up for discussion with the town council. You can deny all you want, but you have no legal ground to do so, as all the papers are in order, all forms have been turned in, all permits have been copied, signed and submitted along with our application. If you deny us, we will take this to the town meeting, and as you will be part of the dispute, you will have to recuse yourself as chairman, and no matter how hard you try, Mr. Doose, you will lose. You might as well give up now and stop trying to sabotage us."
Taylor looked like someone had punched him in the face. Cammie had beat him, it was clear as day. No amount of fake rules and bylaws could mend this, as Taylor wouldn't have time to make them official in time for an eventual town meeting where he would have to recuse himself in order to defend his case against Cammie and Jess. Jess suddenly liked Cammie a hundred times more than he had done this morning. The girl was resourceful.
Taylor gave a loud and indignant "hmpf!" before he stormed out of the store, and Cammie stood smiling widely, looking like a pink Cheshire Cat.
"Okay, am I awesome or what?" she said laughinly, raising her hand for a high five.
Jess didn't say anything, he just walked up to Cammie, gave her a hug and then proceeded out into the back room. Cammie looked at Rory quizzically.
"Oh, I'd say he's doing some sort of embarrassing happy dance," Rory guessed. "And yes, you are so awesome. I didn't even have to use my Town Princess Eternal Get Out of Jail Free-card."
"Your Town-what?"
"Nothing. I can explain it some other time."
"So, now that our business is saved from the evil bylaw-monster, what do we do?" Cammie asked.
"Smuggle coffee for my mom?" Rory suggested, cocking her eyebrow.
"Luke will throw a fit if he finds out, he's been ranting over the phone with Lorelai all week."
"We'll have to be sneaky."
"Should I wear a disguise? A fake nose with an even more fake mustache?"
Rory just laughed, and together the two of them walked out, leaving Jess to celebrate in the back room. Rory felt at ease as she and Cammie walked across the square to Luke's. She had a job, Jess and Cammie would soon have their store, and she was back in the town she loved. Soon, everything would be perfect.
A/N: Leave a Christmas-review, pretty please!