Ha. Mikayla, so nice to let me take Joanna Rivers. One night with Sims Pet Stories and a dead Joanna Rivers and your whole life goes round and round. Haha, Selena Gomez's song. I'm listening to it now. Round and round and round!
Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight people. Only Joanna Rivers...

Chapter 5: BLONDIE!
Edward's POV

I don't know where I'm going. I needed to hunt though, that's all I knew. I'm sure Alice saw me, and told the family where I was.

They didn't have to blame my moodiness out on not having a mate. A guy can have so much of his little sisters' pixie dust spread onto him.

I didn't want to think about being scolded at by Carlisle and Esme when I went back, so I spent most of the day hunting. I let the monster inside of me take over, and picked up the scent of a herd of deer. I crouched down into a pouncing stance, and pounced on my prey. I quickly snapped the leader of the herd's pack, and drained it quickly.

After 2 more of those, I looked around at my surroundings. I was in some sort of...meadow I guess you could say it was like that. Huh, nice place to take someone.

But I didn't need anyone. I have a loving family, and that's all I need. I didn't want anyone. End of story. Just then, I noticed that I wasn't alone in the forest. I turned around, and whished I didn't.

I now faced the one vampire, to fall off the face of the earth. But, then I guess she wouldn't be dead? She could live in space I think, right? Oh whatever! You get what I mean! To much time with Emmett can do this to only a vampires mind...

Tanya's POV

I hadn't seen my Eddie in so long, I thought I would go insane. I know he wants me! I can tell by how many times he's talked to me.

I've asked him so many times to go out with me, but he always says "no". Playing hard to get with me. Everyone knew that me and him were ment to be.

But, since I can't get him to like me, I'm adding a twist, to our relationship. Joanna Rivers is my bestest friend for eternity! She wears like, the coolest clothes I've ever seen! I think she looks even better then that Alice Cullen chic. But, I couldn't say that outloud. What kind of impression would that be, to diss his vampire family?

Anyway, Joanna has a power also! She can minipulate someone to love someone else! But her powers don't work on the person if he doesn't know he's in love yet. And, of course, my Edward IS in love with me! I mean, who can't be in love with me? Anyway, I'm gonna make Joanna use her powers on Edward, and make him fall in love with...yes, you guessed right, ME!

Except, her powers wear off when she dies, and vampires' can't die, so...ITS THE PERFECT GIFT! Oh, this is gonna be sooooo good!

"Tanya! Are we almost there!" Joanna complained like a little, whiny brat.

"Oh, quit your whining Anne" I screeched. That was the 28th time that she said that in the last 10 minutes. As we continued to go to Edward's house and surprise him, I caught his scent, and ran as fast as I could, dragging a complaining vampire to where my Eddie was awaiting me.

I guess, he was waiting for me, as he turned around when we neared him.

"Hey, Edward..." I purred, knowing he probably found it attractive.

"Tanya," He said my name like it was a disgusting swear. I know, playing hard to get.

"Edward, this is my friend, Joanna Rivers..." I started off, trying to distract him with small talk.

"...Tanya! Don't do it!" He yelled, backing up deeper into the trees. How did he know what I, well WE were goi- ugh! Stupid mind-reader! How does someone forget that?

"Oh, wipe that smirk off your face, Edward!" I shouted in outrage.

"Joanna! Now!" I instructed her.

"Tanya! No! I-" But, before he could finish his sentence, Joanna used her powers on him. YES!

"So, Edward," I asked innocently, strutting up to him...

Edward's POV

Before I could finish my sentence, Joanna used her powers on me. I felt like, something zapped me, trying to get me to fall in love with...the creature I call Tanya. Well, I guess she is a creature...she IS a vampire, so- Oh! I've been spending to much time with Emmett!

"So, Edward..." She said innocently,was she trying to... strutt up to me? It looked like she was a dog with 3 legs, trying to escape. "Do you, feel different?

"Nope," I said with a smirk, backing up deeper into the trees, and trying to make an escape from the two blondes. I still hated Tanya, and her new friend.

"Tanya, it didn't wo-" Joanna tried to explain to Tanya, but was interupted by being slapped by a furious Tanya.

"How could it NOT work? You...uh...er...BLONDIE!" Tanya screamed at Joanna.

Wow, 'blondie'? That was all she could think of? On that note, I took off at top speed, without anyone knowing I may add, back to the shelter of my house.

But, there was one thing that I couldn't stop thinking of... why didn't Joanna's powers work on me?

Was that a good chapter? I know you guys are waiting for Bella to join the Cullen's family, which I want her to too! So, I'm going to let her go over to the Cullen's house tomorrow, and you'll just have to see if it goes well. Please review. I won't add the next chapter until I have 5 review for this chapter. Thanks!