Chapter 2: Changes

I had more immediate concerns. My legs were broken and I was bleeding over the streets. Where the vampire bit me, fire was spreading through me veins. Anything that was tainted by the devil spawn was destroyed. The bodies, everything. I could not risk people finding me. I had to go. The painful fire was worsening. I had to go, while I could still move. Slowly, I dragged myself towards a street level window into a cellar. The opening was small, but somehow I managed to squeeze through it and found the cellar full of rotting food. It was an old potato cellar, probably forgotten. The pain was torturous. I buried myself in rotten potatoes and fought to stay quiet. I wanted to scream. The pain was so intense. My heart thudded in my chest. Each new wave of pain was more severe than the last. I wanted to die. I wish I just would. I should. I had probably lost enough blood, as disoriented as I was. I could not even smell the rotting vegetables that I had taken refuge under. I was wholly consumed by the flame. Briefly, I wondered if this was how it felt to be burned as a witch at the stake. If it was, I would never wish this kind of death on another person, if I could just die. If the Lord Almighty would just take away my pain.

I was not sure when the climax of the fire was, but I slowly began to feel it retreat. First from my toes and fingers, and then from my extremities. The fire seemed to be receding towards my heart. It beat faster and faster. As it throbbed in my chest, I fought to keep my body from moving. I could not give myself away now. I seemed to be finally dying. Faster and faster and faster my heart pounded. The fire burst to a crescendo, and then ceased. My heart gave one final, half beat, and stopped.

But I was not dead. At least, I was pretty sure neither heaven nor hell smelled so badly. The church bells tolled in the distance, telling the residents around it that it was the ninth hour after midday. Good, it was dark. Slowly, I stood up. Or at least, I thought it was slowly. But really, I moved amazingly fast. My slowly was twice as fast as a normal human reaction. The half decayed potatoes flew everywhere as I stood. In the night, I looked down at my hands. Beneath the rotted food, my skin was the pale white, same as the vampire's had been. The one that I had chased. The one that had attacked me and had left me to die. I looked at the world around me and saw so much more. Everything was in sharp detail now, like I had been looking through a foggy pane of glass and had finally looked away. I could see every flaw in the wall, every crack in the cobbles of the street through the eye level window. Looking at it now, I wondered how I had squeezed through such a small space. I inhaled and tasted the sweet smell of humans. The most delicious scent I had ever smelled. My throat burned, as if I was thirsty for water. But I was not thirsty for water. I was thirsty for blood. I could hear the pulses of the people in the tavern above, just on the other side of the floor. The planks suddenly that looked so fragile now. But I was repulsed by the thought of taking their lives. I had realized exactly what happened.

I was one of them now. I was one of the evil monsters that fed off of humans and coerced with the devil. How could this have happened to me? I was the son of the pastor, a good, righteous man. I could not be found. I could not bring the shame and horror upon my father's name. I had to kill myself, for the betterment of the world.

I pulled myself out of the cellar, not bothering to squeeze. The wood and stone crumbled under my iron grip. A cask of rain water stood at the mouth of the alley outside where the garbage pile rotted. Going over, I contemplated my reflection in the water. I was handsome now. Any flaws in my face, including the scar on my chin from when I would tripped over a dog in the street, was gone. The angles of my face were smoother now. But it was not my new looks that drew my attention. It was my eyes. My blood-red eyes that stared back at me, reminding me that I was indeed a monster. Those were not my eyes. My eyes were pale blue, the same as my mother's had been. These were the eyes of a monster, and this monster, I could destroy. I plunged my head into the water.

Nothing happened. I could have stayed there all day with my head under the water and I still would not have felt anything. Because seemingly, I did not need to breathe anymore. I tried inhaling water, but that did nothing but make me feel uncomfortable. I waited for half an hour with my head in the barrel, just to be sure, but it was no use. I could not drown myself.

I pulled my head out of the basin and looked around. There was nobody around. It was late. You did not want to be out too late, especially in these times. People might just believe that you were a witch, out to perform some midnight curse.

With nobody to see, I ran. I ran at amazing speeds, covering ground that would have taken me hours in minutes. Somehow, even at the speed I was going, everything remained in focus. I traveled down the street, dodging the sound of people that were out at night. I remembered the temptation of the sweet smell. The gnawing at my throat gave a sharp protest at the memory. I did not trust myself to be able to ignore that enticement.

Soon I was outside of London. The countryside swept ahead of me, dotted with forests and farms. As I ran, I kept away from farms and the road. Anywhere where there might be people. I would not kill them. I could always starve myself.

When I came to a bridge, I threw myself off it. Again, nothing happened. I did the same at a cliff that had been worn away by the river. Still, nothing happened. I stood up from my fall and walked away. My skin was like rock. It did not bruise, it did not burn, it did not even dent. I couldn't stick a knife through my gut, I couldn't strangle myself, I couldn't even get an animal to attack me. They all ran away in fear.

And in the mean time, my control was weakening. The burning in my throat began to take over and cloud my judgment. I did not trust myself to be even five miles near a human. So I hid in a cave, buried deep within a hillside.

I could not sleep anymore. Night time was when I was usually active. I found that in the sun, my skin shown like thousands of tiny diamonds. I could not go out during the day. At least, not when the sun was out. I would draw too much attention. So I only went out at night, and that was only to try yet another way to kill myself.

That night, I was at the edge of my willpower. I did not seem to be able to starve myself and eating food was like eating dirt, unsatisfying and unappealing. So, when I heard the beating of a heart and the sloshing as blood pulsed through live veins, I could not stop myself. I attacked the herd of deer that happened to be passing my cave.

I brought down the buck, He thrashed, but his antlers were nothing on my skin, no more than the knife had been. I broke his neck and bit down on the buck's neck.

Warm, red blood flowed from the deer. While it was not as appealing as the scent of the humans had been, the blood partially satisfied the thirst in my throat. I drank until the buck was empty. My throat still burned, but I was stronger now. I had found that I could drink deer's blood.

I had eaten venison as a human, and if I could drink a deer's blood, I could probably also drink any other animal's blood. Pig, cow, chicken, maybe even some of the carnivores like wolf. There was another option. I did not have to be the monster that killed humans. Perhaps, given time, I could learn to control the thirst that begged for human blood. I could feed off of animals, and maybe help people. What better way was there to atone for my sins than to help others?

That night, I fed off of two more animals, a doe and a badger. I only stopped when I felt too full of blood to drink any more. The thirst, it seemed, would always burn in my throat. I would just have to try and live with it.

But I felt much relived now. There was hope. Hope that I could help the world. Vampires were immortal, everyone knew that. With immortality, I could help people through the centuries. That night, I formed a plan. I would study at night, become an academic. There was another way to live this life, and that was the way I was going to take.