No, you aren't hallucinating This really is an update. For real. Please accept my sincerest apologies for this taking so long – until a couple days ago I was trying to keep a schedule no sane person can keep. But fate intervened and worked things out quite nicely. No more 'I'm supposed to get off work at 9:30 – just kidding, it's 11' for me. I haven't even had a chance to watch the Gossip Girl premiere! Must watch before Monday...

I haven't gotten around to replying to all of your reviews. I've got them saved in their own special folder in my email and will reply to them sometime this week as well as any new ones if you guys haven't given up hope on this story ever being updated again. I can promise it won't be so long next time – I'm pumped about writing the next one!

THINGS I OWN: A big 'ol mess as part of my new schedule involves a new apartment (YES!). THINGS I DON'T OWN: Gossip Girl.

It hadn't been a lie when he'd told Blair he liked a good scandal. Scandal kept his life interesting, particularly if it were him adding fuel to the fire. Whether it was unveiling his third nanny's double life as a call girl and then holding it over her head to get whatever he wanted at the ripe age of eight or being the one who discovered one of the board members of Bass Industries was embezzling, scandal made his world go around in between his frequent benders and one night stands.

Serena van der Woodsen was the very definition of a scandal. That was what he had uncovered within hours of Blair's departure from his suite. He had the basic details on her before he started his research. He knew she liked a good time and experimented with a variety of substances. He knew she was as promiscuous as he was and was the crooked road to Blair's straight arrow. He also knew about her and Nate.

But the more he found out, through reading Gossip Girl's archives and then old tabloids while he waited for his detective to get back to him, the more impressed he was with Serena's delinquencies. She was gorgeous, with legs for days, long blond hair and a rebel without a cause attitude. She was his kind of girl. Except he had already written her off as the one girl on the Upper East Side he wouldn't try to sleep with. He had developed a strange sort of allegiance to Blair and a friendship with Nate. Serena was intricately tied to both and he wouldn't touch that, regardless of the stories he had heard about her, even if he were more than intrigued.

He had discovered through his detective work that Lily van der Woodsen was residing in the Palace while her penthouse was remodeled. It was convenient, of course, seeing as his father was residing in a suite there while searching for a more permanent residence. It also made it easy for him to lounge in the hotel's lobby, one eye on the elevator, the other on the door, waiting for Serena to come through one of them.

He didn't wait long.

She stepped off the elevator, her hair tucked under a newsboy hat, big sunglasses over her eyes. Her outfit was far simpler than anything Chuck had seen in the photos from Gossip Girl and that his detective had given him. She was, he realized, trying to go incognito. Seeing as her reappearance in the city hadn't been reported on Gossip Girl yet, it had worked. Until now.

"Serena van der Woodsen."

Serena stopped in her tracks and turned hesitantly. Chuck was leaning against a pillar in the heart of the lobby, arms crossed over his chest. She looked him up and down before she took off her sunglasses.

"Who are you?" she demanded. Chuck smirked and pushed off the pillar.

"I'm Chuck Bass," he said as he approached her. "And at the rate my father is going, I could soon be your new brother.

"Bart Bass' son," Serena stated as the pieces of information started fitting together. "Mom mentioned you."

"Did she?" Chuck asked with bored curiosity. "Only good things, I hope."

"Just that her dinner date had a son my age."

"So they've moved on to dinner," Chuck mused. "Dinner is much more serious than coffee or a lunch date. Looks like my assumption about us being siblings may not be too far off. My father does work fast and from what I hear, your mother even faster."

Serena shifted her weight from one foot to the other and looked impatient, the barb about her mother rolling off her shoulders. It was nothing she hadn't heard before.

"Do you want something?" she asked. "Because I've got somewhere to be."

"And where, exactly, would that be?" Chuck asked. "Certainly not a dinner date with your former best friend. No one else knows you're back from boarding school besides your mom, myself and Blair – and likely my father - so it couldn't be a shopping trip with any other friend you might have either."

"Blair knows I'm back?" Serena asked, surprise showing on her face. Chuck had found the opening he was looking for.

"She does," he confirmed. "She saw you waiting for her outside her building a few days ago. She chose to come to my suite rather than be reunited with you so I guess that should tell you how happy she is to know you've returned." He watched a wave of sadness wash over Serena.

"I knew she wouldn't be too happy to see me," Serena said softly. "She's not exactly the forget and forgive type."

"Imagine how unforgiving she would be if she knew about the Sheppard wedding." Chuck smirked as he watched Serena's eyes widen.

"How...?"

"Nate is a friend of mine," he said with a casual shrug. "He was kind enough to show me around school on the first day. He's a little dense, naive to be sure, but he's not a bad guy once you get past all the cobwebs. He was also rather quick to correct my good-natured ribbing of his supposed virginal status."

"Blair can't know," Serena said hurriedly. She looked truly worried he would tell. "Neither of us ever meant to hurt her."

"And yet that's all either of you do," Chuck retorted. He was surprised when the words came out of his mouth. He felt protective over Blair, especially after her revelation that she was visiting Eric in his sister's absence. The way he figured it, someone had to be. Call him chivalrous, but it seemed he had appointed himself to the protector post for the one person who liked to think she could take care of herself. The irony of the situation – that he thought he didn't need anyone to take care of himself – was not lost on him.

"I don't know what you think you're implying...," Serena started. Chuck held up his hand.

"Does the name 'Georgina Sparks' ring any bells?" he asked. Serena's eyes widened once more, her jaw slack. "I see it does. As it should, seeing as she's been your partner in crime in recent history."

"Georgina is in the past," Serena said as if trying to convince herself. "I don't know what you're up to, but it ends now. Things are different now." Chuck shrugged.

"If you say so," he said. "Though I'm curious as to how long that will last. I do suspect one Nathaniel Archibald would be very interested to know of your return to the city that never sleeps." He took his BlackBerry out of his pocket and held it up. "Now say cheese." Before Serena could respond, Chuck snapped her picture. "Gossip Girl will be very interested in this particular tip," he said, sending the tip to the number he had programmed in his phone earlier.

"No!" Serena gasped, grabbing for the phone. Chuck smirked as he let her grab it.

"Too late," he said. Serena looked panicked.

"I wasn't ready for everyone to know I was back!" she exclaimed. "How could you?"

"Wasn't ready for everyone to know? Or wasn't ready for Blair to know?" Chuck asked. Serena studied him, searching for his motives.

"What kind of person are you?" she finally asked.

"The kind that knows what drove you out of New York," Chuck answered. "And the kind who knows the only reason you came back to New York was because you found out your brother tried to off himself."

"You know about Eric?" Serena asked. Chuck was enjoying himself, watching Serena switch from annoyed to panicked to surprised and back again as quickly as a car crash.

"You must not be bright enough to realize I know everything. Which, come to think of it, makes you a perfect match for Archibald."

"Charles," came his father's voice. "Are you bothering this young lady?" Chuck turned to see his father striding across the hotel lobby, attempting to look menacing. To others, he might. To Chuck, he looked like the man who kicked a cocktail waitress out of his bed just before Lily van der Woodsen arrived for breakfast the morning before.

"No, father," Chuck answered. "I was just introducing myself to Ms. van der Woodsen's daughter." Just as he had expected would happen, his father's eyes widened in recognition. Chuck could practically see the Bass charm being summoned from it's resting place.

"You must be Serena," Bart said, extending his hand. "I'm Bart Bass. Charles, as I'm sure you've learned, is my son. I'm a friend of your mothers."

"She's mentioned you," Serena replied, shaking Bart's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," Bart said, letting go of Serena's hand. "I'm actually on my way to meet your mother for dinner. You – and Charles – are more than welcome to join us." Chuck fought to refrain from rolling his eyes.

"Oh, um, thank you but I have to... Meet a friend," Serena stuttered. "But next time."

"And unfortunately – fortunately for me – I have plans. And I probably will next time as well. If I don't, I'll make some." Bart spared Chuck a disdainful look while Serena wasn't looking. Any other teenager would fear repercussions if they addressed their father that way. Chuck wasn't concerned however. It wasn't like Bart cared enough to ground him.

"Next time, then," Bart said, nodding politely at Serena. "You'll have to excuse me. I don't want to keep your mother waiting."

"Unless breakfast is running late," Chuck said to his father. Bart shot a look full of daggers at him before he dismissed himself.

"I've got to run too," Chuck said. "I have dinner plans that need to be attended to."

"You are a horrible person," Serena informed him. Chuck smirked.

"I've been called far worse so I'll take that as a compliment," he replied. Their text message alerts sounded at nearly the same instant. "Looks like you've got a message," he said with a nod towards her purse. "You should check that." He turned on his heel and strode towards the entrance, reading his phone as he went.

Spotted: Serena van der Woodsen come home from a place far far away. What brings her back into town? Better yet, what drove her out? And how will Queen B react to the news? You'll know when I do, XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Chuck slid into the back of his limo with a satisfactory smirk as the picture he had snapped of Serena van der Woodsen colored the screen of his phone, Gossip Girl's biggest story of the school year – so far – typed out under it. Serena van der Woodsen was officially back in New York. His games had officially begun.

"I'll pick you up at six." Chuck dropped a manila envelope on the dining room table in front of Blair and looked expectant. Blair glanced up from her physics book she had previously immersed in before Chuck Bass' unannounced arrival.

"It's seven-thirty," she told him pointedly before turning her attention back to her book.

"It's also Thursday. I was referring to Friday. As in, tomorrow."

"I take it you have info on Serena." Chuck's response was to nod at the envelope he had dropped. "I also sent the Gossip Girl blast I'm sure you've already read. Sorry if you wanted to be the one to do that, but I just couldn't resist."

Blair eyed him a couple seconds longer then turned her attention to the envelop he had dropped in front of her. She reached for it and carefully opened it's flap, as if expecting a bomb to explode with any sudden movement. She removed the sheaf of papers inside and, without looking at Chuck, started to read through them.

Chuck watched her. He found he didn't need words to understand her. The creased eyebrows and slight frown on her face as she read the first few pages and glanced over pictures told him she was curious, despite feeling guilty. She wanted to know what he had found out, where Serena had been. But at the same time, Serena was, once upon a time at least, her very best and only true friend. Did she want to continue reading and find out Serena had done something awful?

She chewed her lip, a sign Chuck read as eagerness. Despite the guilt gnawing at her from somewhere deep within, she couldn't have turned down the chance to find the answers she had sought for months if she had wanted to. As she read further, her frown deepened and her eyes grew larger, rounder. She was getting to the meaty part, Chuck knew, and she couldn't believe her eyes. Once she was through the last page, she laid the papers on the table and looked at Chuck.

"You didn't make any of this up." It was a statement, not a question. Chuck shook his head.

"I didn't," he confirmed. "Though I appreciate the vote of confidence, Waldorf."

"I've already learned that I can never be too careful with you, Bass," she shot back. Chuck ignored her dig.

"So what are you going to do about our friend, here?" Blair looked contemplative. And a little conflicted. Chuck raised an eyebrow. "Are you going soft, Waldorf?"

"Of course not!" she snapped, scoffing at the idea. "I'm thinking."

"I'm quite handy with revenge plots, you know. The only thing I'm better at occurs between the sheets. Against a wall. In the bathroom of a bar..."

"I get it, you're a sex god," Blair cut him off. She stood, picking up the papers Chuck had brought. "And for the record, I am the master of revenge plots. You think you're good but you haven't seen a Blair Waldorf take down."

"Then by all means, allow me to be present when this take down of yours occurs. Perhaps I could learn something," Chuck said, taking a few steps closer to Blair. His eyes fell on the strap of her dress. It had slipped down her shoulder. Images of his lips grazing the perfect skin innocently exposed made him swallow hard. He reached out and using just a finger, righted her strap. He felt the jolt of electricity that passed between them with just the slightest of touches. His eyes met hers and he knew she felt it too.

"I'll send you a save the date," she breathed. Even her breath, minty with a hint of something sweet, lured Chuck in. He swallowed hard, his desire for her growing.

"I look forward to it," he replied, pushing back visions of throwing her down on the dining room table. He tore his eyes from hers, the only way he knew to break the spell she was somehow casting over him.

"Until then, you stay out of it," Blair instructed him. "You've done your part." Chuck looked at her again. He needed to remain close to her for his plan to work.

"You may want to rethink that," he said casually.

"And why should I?"

"Her mother is 'dating' my father. I have major inside access that you, as the former best friend now engaging in open warfare, may be limited to."

Blair studied him. He had a point. Serena knew her too well to not know she would be planning something. She didn't know Chuck, however. None of them did, really. There was a chance she could work with this. As long as she kept her eyes open.

"I'll keep it in mind," she relented. "Stay out of it until if and when I give you word."

"Your wish is my command," Chuck answered. "Speaking of which, where are we going to dinner? I'll need to make reservations and I believe one of the stipulations of this bet of ours was that you would name the place, should I win."

"I can't believe you're making me go through with this," Blair replied. "I have a boyfriend."

"A deal is a deal and it's just dinner. And do you really think Nathaniel enjoys being carted around to these functions with you? If he can get out of dinner, playing your arm candy all night while you work the room will be at least slightly less painful." He could tell by the expression on Blair's face that he had hit a nerve. That had been his intention.

"You know what, Bass? Surprise me," she told him. There was a challenge in her voice. "You pick the place. Prove that you are capable of eating food for dinner instead of a strictly liquid diet and that you can behave yourself in a respectable establishment instead of tainting already tainted side bars and dives."

"Fine," Chuck replied, studying her. "I'll surprise you. I'm still picking you up at six."

"Six it is," Blair agreed. "I'll be ready."

"That, I doubt," Chuck answered. He turned to leave. "Don't forget my save the date," he said over his shoulder as he exited the room. He waited until he was exiting her building to place a call.

"Yes, I need a reservation for tomorrow at 6:30." He listened as the voice on the other end of the phone rambled about how they were were sorry, but that wouldn't be possible and to make reservations at least a week in advance in the future as their restaurant was rather popular. "I'm sorry," Chuck interrupted. "I must have forgotten to mention – I'm Chuck Bass."

He ended the call moments later with reservations at 6:30 at the table of his choice, a complimentary bottle of champagne to be presented to him upon his arrival.