# Chapter 4 – Kellin's Revelation

Kellin idly looked at the status board in auxiliary control. This week's security drill was dragging on into its second hour, and she was getting a bit bored. Last week's scenario of a boarding party had been much more interesting than this warp core sabotage. They had practiced different scenarios on the holodeck in that previous drill and it had been quite exhilarating. Auxiliary control had nothing to do in this particular drill except stand by and monitor the displays.

"Status everybody," Tuvok's voice called in over the comm.

Well next to nothing anyway. Various stations started reporting their status and Kellin turned to Lieutenant Ayala who was sitting next to her. He was in charge here during the drill. Ayala reminded her vaguely of Chakotay in appearance, a sort of ex-Maquis ruggedness and mystique. Ah, Chakotay. Now that was a puzzle. Ayala shrugged, and so when it came to their turn, Kellin said, "Auxiliary control nominal."

She had tried talking to Ayala earlier. He was quite handsome and listened attentively, but offered little conversation in return. After a few valiant attempts on her part, they had instead eventually fallen into a quiet routine of checking the status and updated the log. The idle time had allowed Kellin's mind to wander to thoughts about her, her friend Seven of Nine, and of course inevitably Chakotay. Just when she thought things were settling into a tolerable routine, now Seven seemed to be avoiding her and it was becoming more uncomfortable again to be in the same room as Chakotay. Something had changed, but she couldn't figure out what. Kellin glanced at the timepiece on the control panel for the tenth time in as many minutes and was beginning to wonder when and if the drill would ever end, when Neelix came into auxiliary control. "Good afternoon," he said cheerily. Neelix was in a security uniform and looked about auxiliary control as if he was appraising works of art in a gallery.

"What are you doing here?" Kellin asked, surprised to see him.

"Mister Tuvok asked me to relieve Lieutenant Ayala so he could spend some time in charge of the operations down in engineering," Neelix replied, and clapped Ayala on the shoulder.

Ayala looked relieved, nodded to both Kellin and Neelix and then left auxiliary control.

"Good luck," Neelix called after him and sat down in the seat just vacated by Ayala.

"I didn't know you also worked with Tuvok in security," Kellin remarked. "Let's see, morale officer, cook, requisitioning… just how many jobs do you have aboard Voyager?"

"Oh," Neelix reflected, "Lieutenant Tuvok sometimes calls me in for these drills, and occasionally I've been assigned to security for a time when needed. I'm more than happy to help out. It makes me feel useful. Captain Janeway still sometimes calls me her ambassador to the delta quadrant, but I'm afraid we've traveled well beyond my knowledge of the area."

"Ambassador Neelix," Kellin mused, and was again impressed by both Neelix's optimism and willingness to pitch in whenever and wherever he's needed. In a way, he reminded Kellin of her brother. He was easy to talk to and always seemed to brighten the mood. "I'm glad you're here. Ayala's a nice guy, but he doesn't talk much."

"I gather there's not much for us to do here in auxiliary control."

Kellin gestured to the control board in response. Indeed, all vital functions related to the drill were being performed in other parts of the ship. Mostly engineering now, Kellin noted, by the looks of it. She looked back to Neelix. Besides Icheb and herself, he was the only other member of the crew native to the delta quadrant. "So Neelix," she began. "What made you stay with Voyager? I imagine you're one of the most traveled Talaxians in history, and there's no going back to your home now."

Neelix became unusually solemn, as if reluctant to talk about it. "There's nothing left for me back in the Talaxian system," he finally said. Some painful emotions appeared to play over his face.

This was unexpected. "You don't have to talk about it," Kellin said.

"It's OK," Neelix replied and forced a smile. "When I was a young man, Talax was at war with the Haalkonians. I was called up to serve in the Talaxian military, but I felt the war was wrong. When I went to protest this on Talax, the Haalkonians unleashed a terrible weapon on Rinax. Rinax is moon of Talax, and was my home. In moments, Rinax was enveloped in a deadly cloud, and my entire family was killed."

Kellin was stunned. She wanted to say something, but didn't know what.

"I became a wanderer." Neelix continued. "I took odd jobs here and there, and traded in water and junk. I had no home and no family, until I met up with Captain Janeway and these fine people." Neelix looked about auxiliary control, with the same look as he did when he first entered. "Voyager is now my home and family, and I plan to stick with them all the way to the alpha quadrant. And I hold on to what's important up here." Neelix turned back to Kellin and pointed to his head. "I dream of them each night, and so the important things to me about Rinax are still with me. How about you, why have you stayed on Voyager?"

Kellin sighed. "Borg nanoprobes, I suppose," she said flippantly, but then turned more serious. It was obviously more than that. She had been thinking of that same question over the last two months, trying to reconcile a lifetime of isolation and secrecy to her current situation. She missed Ramura and her people. She was the only Ramuran on board, and she would likely not see another Ramuran for the rest of her life. But, she was OK with that. Humans, Talaxians, Vulcans, and Ramurans. They all shared similar hopes and similar fears. Perhaps she stayed because of what happened to her brother. When he had returned after the reconditioning, he had been… different. It's why she became a Tracer. She wanted to make sure other runaways were treated fairly, and the reconditioning and reintegration back on Ramura was handled correctly. But, there was more to it than even that. She sensed Neelix waiting patiently. "There's more," she finally added, "but I'm still working on that. I'm not ready to talk about it."

"That's OK. I'll always be here to lend you an ear when you need it."

"Thank you Neelix. Remember that first day, after the Tracer?"

"How can I forget?"

"I'm really glad we have become friends this time around."

"Me too. And in just two short months you've reintegrated back into our family."

It was true. Two months ago, she wouldn't have thought it possible. Yet now, Voyager did feel like her home. "And l guess like you, there's nothing left for me back on Ramura. Voyager is my family now."

"That's wonderful," Neelix replied, his normal good humor returned.

There were just a few lingering issues, and her mind was never far from them. "I've been just brooding over the situation with Chakotay and Seven," she lamented.

"Oh? Is there a problem between Commander Chakotay and Seven?"

Kellin paused, but then replied, "no, not with each other, with me. Chakotay, because I don't think I'll ever be what he wants me to be, and Seven, because she seems upset at me for hurting Chakotay. It's now like there's a thousand kilogram wolmaling in the room whenever we're together."

"What's a wolmaling?" Neelix asked with interest.

"Oh, just a big lumbering reptile on Ramura. There were some that lived on an island off the coast near where I grew up. It's a saying that describes a problem that everyone is aware of, but no one wants to discuss. Substitute your own Talaxian creature if you like."

Neelix reflected. "I grew up in the forests of Rinax. It was beautiful, and in the forest behind my house where my sisters and I played, there were sometimes these large slugs that would migrate past. You had to be careful where you stepped after a herd of them came through."

"OK then. It's like a thousand kilogram Rinaxian slug in the room whenever we're together."

Neelix chuckled. "Oh, perhaps the babies were that small. Some of these slugs could grow to be…"

"Neelix!" Kellin interrupted. She was annoyed, but at the same time amused by Neelix's diversion.

Neelix smiled mischievously, as if aware of his antics. "Kellin, it's not your fault. You are the one with a five year memory gap carved out of your head. There's an old Talaxian saying; don't punish the broken leg for not being able to walk."

Kellin sighed. "Meaning?"

"Don't blame yourself. You are still healing from a traumatic experience."

"I don't know Neelix," she said frustrated. "It's been over two months and I'm comfortable here on Voyager. Perhaps I've been able to heal faster because I don't remember the past five years? If it was just me that had gone through a traumatic experience, I'd be fine, but it's not just me."

"Commander Chakotay," Neelix agreed.

"Yes. He's been so strong in the face of my indifference. I can see him waiting, and hoping for me to change my heart. I did love him once, am I wrong to turn him down now?"

Neelix looked uncomfortable. "Only you can make that decision," he finally said.

"He's very much the type of man I'm attracted to, contemplative and strong in character, but also sometimes impulsive. Perhaps I should trust fate and get back together with him."

Nellix touched Kellin's shoulder. "There is absolutely no hurry. Don't blame yourself for this situation."

"Oh Neelix. I feel as if I'm being given only two choices to set things right, and both are equally unappealing. Either I get back together with Chakotay and give it a try, or I completely cut it off and have nothing to do with him and hope that things clear up between me and Seven."

Neelix eyes brightened and he turned to the control board in front of them. "When the road before you splits in two," he said sagely, "take the third path."

Kellin narrowed her eyes. "Is this another old Talaxian saying?" she asked, mocking irritation.

Neelix turned back towards Kellin. "You started it with your wolmaling."

It was true, although she had adapted that particular saying from an Earth idiom she had recently read. She loved sifting through the Federation database; so many cultures and so much diversity. She did miss Ramura, but her choices had been so limiting, and now it was as if she had opened a door to discover she had been living in a closet her whole life and the rest of the universe was now at her feet. Perhaps she would add to her reading list some Talaxian selections. "Say it to me again," she prompted.

"When the road before you splits in two, take the third path."

"Interesting, but cryptic," Kellin commented. "I guess to save time, why don't you just tell me what it means and how it applies to me."

"It's a reminder that you don't have to settle for just the options you currently have. When you have equally unappealing courses of action, it's time to construct another possibility; the third path. Perhaps there is another way to resolve these lingering relationship problems between you, Commander Chakotay, and Seven that you haven't yet considered."

Something occurred to Kellin as Neelix spoke. It wasn't just the relationships between her and Chakotay and her and Seven that had changed and needed resolution, but also between Seven and Chakotay. A memory clicked into place in her mind as she recalled the look on Seven's face after she had scored that last goal in hoverball. Seven had just mentioned Chakotay yet again, and it was getting on her nerves. What had she said in return? That was what must have distracted Seven. Not as much surprise, as …

"Were Chakotay and Seven romantically involved before I arrived five years ago?" she asked.

Neelix looked taken aback. "I don't believe so."

Kellin sighed. Had she misremembered Seven's look? Now that the thought occurred to her, she recalled it was similar to how Seven was looking at her and Chakotay back when all this started. Is it possible Seven has felt this way about him all this time?

"You know," Neelix offered. "Now that I think about it, up until recently, Commander Chakotay and Seven would have lunch together in the mess hall regularly. Several months ago, I heard them both laughing at something. It sticks out in my memory because I think it was the first time I've ever heard Seven laugh like that before. In recent weeks, I've seen them often talking and laughing together."

Kellin perked up a bit. "Do you think they might be attracted to each other?" she asked hopefully.

"I don't know," Neelix responded. "I suppose it's possible. What are you thinking?"

Kellin leaned back in her chair and smiled. A plan was beginning to form in her head. "I'm thinking it's time I start building that third path."