A/N: So these are ideas/events that DarkenDepths said (some of which have happened to me, but I just didn't get around to posting them.). Many will be short, so I've put them all into two separate chapters. Enjoy!

Misadventures of the Eagle: Pt 1

Of Horses

"Ah, Forli… But too much dirty water for my taste. What do you think?" Ezio patted the white horse he rode in on.

The horse whinnied.

"I agree." Ezio jumped off the horse and looted a nearby treasure chest. He turned and saw a purple horse. "What the?" He walked around, and the horse followed. "Now that's not natural… I rode in on that?"

The horse whinnied again.

"That's not right."

Of Couriers

"I've almost got you, you damned courier!" Ezio attempted to tackle the courier, but he slipped out of the assassin's hands. He ran too close to a guard, and said guard shoved him off the roof. "Eh. I'll still get the money." Ezio shrugged and looked where the courier fell. He wasn't on the ground. "Where the… shit. How'm I supposed to get your money now?"

The courier hung by his foot on a flowerpot, swinging in the wind.

Of Boats and Gondoliers

"Messer… I need to borrow this." Ezio jumped from the nearby ledge onto a boat.

"What the? AH!" The gondolier jumped into the water, drowning.

"But… you didn't have to… Oh why am I the only one who can fucking swim?" Ezio took the oar.

Of Rubber Guards

"You can't run forever!"

"I bet you I can!" Ezio yelled over his shoulder as he ran across the rooftops. "Let's see how quickly you bore…" The assassin slowed down enough for the guard to catch up, then started running again. When he failed to hear the guard behind him, Ezio turned around and saw the guard was falling. He watched the guard fall to the streets below. "Damn." Ezio sighed, then his eyes widened to his surprise when he saw the guard bouncing in the streets. At points, he bounced up to the assassin's eye level. Finally his body came to rest on the rooftop next to Ezio's foot.

"Who did this?"

Ezio looked onto the streets again, and saw three guards gathered around a place where the body should've been. "Ma cosa?"

Of the Doctor's Mind

"A weekly bleeding is part of a healthy lifestyle."

Ezio's arm ached from the recent beatings it just took. He walked up to the doctor.

"You again? If you weren't my only customer, I'd call over the gaurds." The doctor scowled behind his mask. "How may I help you today?"