AN:/Hey there! Bit of a time lapse here, it's the end of fifth year! Enjoy:D

Lily looked around at her clean dorm, smiling sadly. She was sad to be leaving Hogwarts once again, but she was also looking forward to seeing her parents again.
Petunia? Not so much.
From the letters from her mum, Lily got the impression that Petunia was dating a walrus.
Vernon Dursley…Merlin, even his name sounded boring.

The Christmas and Birthday presents Lily had sent her older sister had been sent back, unopened. Her countless letters were also returned, still sealed.
She hated not being able to talk to Petunia, they didn't have a normal sister relationship. Though, Lily thought, could anything in her life really be considered normal?
The past few months had been eventful to say the least.
The fifth years OWL's had been horrible as expected, but it wasn't those that had been hanging in her mind for weeks now.

"I don't need help from a filthy mudblood like her!"

Severus Snape's harsh words played through her mind, seemingly stuck on repeat. At the time Lily had been so angry, so embarrassed, so betrayed, that she was unable to hold a quill for a week, without it bursting in her hands.
Now, after a month had passed, the feeling of regret had begun to sink in.

James Potter was avoiding her. At least, that's what she reckoned. He hadn't spoken one word to her since that fateful day by the lake where she had told him he was just as bad as Snape. Perhaps that had been slightly harsh, he hadn't called her a mudblood, had he?
He was still James Potter though, arrogant, mean and a bully.
Lily wasn't too beaten up by his reluctance to talk to her. The rumours had finally died down, seeing as they clearly weren't talking. She was carefully trying to sink back into the shadows; get on with her schoolwork and her prefect duties.

"Lily, you coming?" Alice stood in the doorway, wearing jeans and a jumper. "The train leaves soon." Lily grinned and walked to the door, hauling her trunk behind her.

Later, Lily was sat in a compartment aboard the Hogwarts Express. Hestia and Alice were engrossed in a heated game of exploding snap. Marlene had left some time before, saying she needed the bathroom but they all knew she was really going to see Sirius for some last minute 'bonding time'.
Lily was sat re-reading a book she'd finished at the start of fifth year.
She soon realised that her eyes had not moved away from the same sentence for some time. Her head was elsewhere, wrapped up in thoughts of the small, dark haired boy who lived down the road from her, and how much more boring her summer would be without their regular, cherished days at the old park around the corner.
"Earth to Lily?" Hestia giggled.
Lily looked up, startled. It appeared her friends had finished their game. Alice, the loser, had singed off a whole eyebrow. She was staring moodily at Hestia.
"Fix it, now! I don't know the right spell and if we get to King's Cross we won't be able to use magic! It'll have to grow back naturally!"
Hestia smirked. "Can't Al! My wands in the bottom of my trunk."
Alice groaned. "Lily?"
Lily grinned. "Same with me."
Alice put her head in her hands and let out a loud wail.

"What the bloody hell was that?"
Frank Longbottom had opened the door.
Alice looked up, turned a suitable colour of red, and shoved her face into her knees.
Hestia laughed and then stood up, moving to the door of the compartment.
"Do you mind, Lily?" Hestia asked. "I'll be back before the train comes in. I'm going to find Amos." She giggled.
"No not at all. Have fun." Lily smiled.
Hestia left and Lily turned to see Frank sitting beside Alice. He had his arm slung over her shoulders and was whispering into her ear.
Feeling horribly like she was intruding, Lily decided to leave.
"Bye guys." She said walking out. Alice and Frank didn't even acknowledge her.

Why did all of her friends have bloody boyfriends and she didn't? Why didn't she have someone to kiss goodbye, with promises of letters everyday?
She herself had had her first kiss, but it was not something she liked to talk about.

It had been this time two years ago, on this exact day in fact. For some unknown reason, Lily had found herself stuck in a cramped compartment with Alice, Hestia, Marlene, Remus, Peter, Sirius and James.

Lily herself, a geeky, shy thirteen year old had been trying to read whilst pressed between Sirius and James. Things had begun to go wrong of course, when Sirius suggested they play spin the bottle. The three anxious girls had excitedly agreed, hoping very much to get their first kisses off the four most popular boys in school. Lily though, had different views; the very thought secretly repulsed her.
Peer pressure made her do it.

After Remus and Hestia had kissed, sloppily at that, Lily was persuaded to join in.
So, she spun the bottle, praying that it would land on anyone but James. It had spun for an age, finally stopping at…

Sirius Black.

She remembered looking up, terror shining in her eyes, as the attractive boy leaned closer and closer to her red-cheeked face.
She just had time to see James' face-looking horrified-before Sirius blocked him with his head.
She had done nothing as Sirius kissed her, waiting for it to be over…counting the seconds until she could return to her novel. When he leaned back, Lily had returned to her book and refused to look at anyone for the rest of the journey.

Now, at the age of 15, the memory made her cringe unbelievably. At least Sirius had refrained from talking about it. In fact, it seemed the marauders had gone to great lengths to keep it a secret; as far as she knew, the only people who knew were the ones who had witnessed it.
Lily continued to walk down the narrow hallway, occasionally looking into the windows at people laughing with their friends. She saw James, lounging across the seat. He was sleeping with his head across the window. The other boys were sat on the other side, laughing at the crude doodles drawn across the sleeping boys forehead. Lily smiled before walking on.

She had almost reached the top of the train, when a door opened rather suddenly. Lily groaned. The person she'd been so carefully avoiding had stepped out; Severus.
His eyes lit up when he saw her. "Lily I-"
"Save it, Snape." Lily sighed.
She made to walk on, when the same door opened once more.
"Mudblood! What do you think your doing at our end of the train?"
Lily gulped.
Avery and Mulciber stood before her, with sick grins across their faces.
She reached into her back pocket, only to remember it was packed away.
Seeing her come up empty handed, Avery raised his wand.