A/N: I'm sorry guys, but the next chapter will be the last I post of events that happen to me… For I must return my friends game. :( But! I finally got Assassin's Creed I, and I'm playing it currently! So I'll be adding any bloopers I find in Assassin's Creed. WOOH ALTAIR! *slapped* BUT! If there are any events that happen to you in ACII, or ACI for that matter, you can send them to me and I'll add them to the respective bloopers. :D Thank you all for reading, reviewing, and making me feel good because these made you laugh! So let's continue with DarkenDepths' ideas/events, shall we?
Misadventures of the Eagle: Pt. 2
Of Horses
"Another eagle, another viewpoint." The Eagle of Florence looked at the eagle soaring around a tower at a townhouse in Tuscany. He rode up to it on his horse, jumped off and scaled the tower. After synchronizing the viewpoint Ezio climbed down to the ground. "Now, where'd my horse go?" Ezio didn't see his horse. He jumped when it whinnied, and he looked on the roof.
The horse pranced around on the roof.
"Ma cosa? How'd you get up there?"
Of Boats and Gondoliers
"Alright… you're not jumping off this time…" Ezio swam in the water, approaching a boat. He grabbed the edge of the boat and held on, pulling himself against it. His cape drug in the water as the gondolier failed to notice the assassin taking a free ride. "Heh… Got ya…" Ezio muttered. His arms grew tired, and with out thinking he climbed onto the boat. The gondolier yelped and jumped into the water, drowning. "Fuck!" Ezio growled and took the oar.
Of Rocks
Ezio, avoiding the guards, jumped onto the chandelier. The guards who had stormed Lorenzo de'Medici's palazzo growled and began throwing rocks at the assassin. "Ha, you missed me!" He dodged the rocks, threw knives and killed the guards. He crossed to the other chandelier, and a guard jumped from the ledge to the chandelier. Ezio jumped away onto the other one and looked back. Said guard was picking up rocks and throwing them at him. "What the? Where are you getting those rocks? From your ass?" He threw a knife and killed the guard. "Weirdo."
Of Angry Guards
Ezio spotted his next codex page and walked up to the four guards doing as their name said. Guarding it. Ezio attempted to poison a guard, but he was shoved backwards.
"You know what we do to troublemakers like you? We bring out Bruno the donkey." The guard growled, glaring at Ezio.
"Bruno? Ha." Ezio muttered, then walked up to the guard again.
"You need to learn the skills of survival! Part one: You don't even take a shit without permission while I'm on guard!"
Ezio sighed. "Must you tempt me?" He walked up to the guard, tired of the games. "What about when you're not on guard?" He stabbed the guard with poison and walked away, watching the fun unfold.