Chapter 18: Conflict

Sometimes I wish I could sleep, if just so I could dream. In dreams is when we work out our issues. But without sleep, I can't dream and therefore, my problems and the problems that face my family are left to be mulled over in my head, bouncing off other ideas and generally creating turmoil.

As the primary creator of the Cullen family, as well as the oldest member, I took on a patriarchal role. I looked out for the family, put the safety and privacy of the family above my own desires, and always was available, should any one seek my guidance or support. With such a large family, problems arose frequently.

The foremost was always the constant battle against our thirst. After almost three centuries of controlling my thirst, I was very good at the "vegetarian" lifestyle. My body still reacted. The thirst still burned in my throat and venom still pooled in my mouth when I was faced with blood, but I could control it with ease now. My family, unfortunately, wasn't so adept.

Between 1950, when Alice and Jasper joined us, through the end of the millennium, we were moving a lot. When Emmett became over enthusiastic and slipped, or when Jasper, who tried so hard as it was, reverted to his old lifestyle, we were constantly on guard. If someone slipped more then once, or multiple people did, we waited for the heat to die down a little, and then moved on. The result was an erratic lifestyle. Sometimes Rosalie and Emmett would live with us; sometimes they would prefer to be alone. Jasper and Alice were the same way sometimes, but not as often as the other couple.

Esme, after losing her child (that was why she tried to commit suicide), had found her place as an adoptive mother. She kept the teenagers in line, on the occasions when they got out of hand. Like I was the father figure, she was the maternal counterpart.

Regular baseball games helped us enjoy time as a family. After the first game, Esme declared herself the official umpire, letting me join the kids to play. Everyone looked forward to the games and after 1970; we no longer had to rely on Rosalie to make us a new bat.

By abstaining from human blood, we were able to form real bonds of love and family, rather then just truces out of convenience like every other coven we came across. The love Esme and I, Rosalie and Emmett, and Alice and Jasper shared was a true love. While Esme and I did not enjoy an ideal love life, we made the best of the time we did have together. That was how we came to talking about Edward, one cold winter in February of 1982.

The teenagers were out on a hunting trip, a sort of anniversary gift to us. It was our 60th wedding anniversary, which would have been a big deal had we been humans, than it was as we were immortals. The teenagers had still insisted on giving us the weekend to be alone and then Alice was planning a party that Monday night, which was the real date of our anniversary.

Esme and I walked at a leisurely pace through the snow-dusted forest. We were in the back country of Montana, outside Helena. It was a good location for our family with plenty of wildlife. We walked in silence, hand in hand, just enjoying each other's company. The forest was completely silent as all the animals had the good sense to hide when they caught our sweet scents.

I could tell something was bothering Esme as we made our slow progress through the white-blanketed trees. It was not her body language or expression that gave her away, but the deep look in her eyes that I had learned to read like the words in a book.

"What's troubling you?" I asked.

Esme sighed. "I'm just thinking," she replied, looking down at the forest floor.

"About what?" I inquired politely. I had learned very quickly that patience was the key, not just to conversation, but everything. People did things on their own time.

Esme was silent for a while. "Edward," she admitted.

I knew Edward was often a subject of worry for Esme. Of all her adoptive children, he was often the most withdrawn, but also the most thoughtful. Reading others' minds made him more attuned to what others felt, rather then was he felt.

I waited in silence for Esme to elucidate. She always did. "Edward just is always by himself. Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper all have their companions, as I have mine." She smiled up at me and I could help but grin. Her beauty still struck me, even sixty years later.

"But Edward, he's always alone, and he's never really shown interest in girls, anywhere we've been. I'm worried Carlisle. What if he was too young? What if you changed him when he wasn't ready? I just can't bear to see him so…lonely." She trailed off, her gaze falling once more to the ground.

But I raised her face, turning her chin so that she was once more looking at me. "We have…all been very…lucky to have found…our soul mates…as we have," I told her between kisses. "Except maybe Alice and Jasper. Their meeting was going to happen, no matter what." Esme laughed her musical laugh, the laugh I always longed to hear.

"Edward will find his companion in his own time," I reassured my angel.

"You're right," Esme replied. "And when it happens, I will welcome the lucky girl with open arms, no matter who she is or what she looks like!"

I leaned down to kiss my angel like I hadn't done out of courtesy for a long time, not that Emmett and Rosalie extended that courtesy to any of us. And with neither of us needing air, it went on for a good ten minutes before we finally started back to the house, walking a little faster now.

We got back to find the house not as empty as we'd hoped. The teenagers were back, and a flurry of activity.

"Carlisle," Edward called me as soon as Esme and I were within hearing range of the house. We ran inside to find Edward pacing, Alice sitting motionless as she tried vision after vision, Jasper arguing with Emmett in hissing whispers, and Rosalie staring out the dining room window, as still as Alice.

"What's going on?" I asked. "You're back early."

"Alice had a vision," Edward explained. "The coven of four in Helena is combining with another coven of three to try to get rid of us. They see us as a threat."

"A threat?" Esme gasped. "Why? We don't drink human blood?"

"They're worried about our numbers," Edward explained. "We're quite large and with us three," he gestured to Alice, Jasper, and his self, "they want to get us out of the way, before we grow anymore."

I cringed away from the idea. I hated violence and killing other people, even in self-defense.

"Can't we handle this some other way?" I asked.

Edward shook his head. "I doubt it, but if I could get close enough, I could be sure." Edward fell thoughtfully silent. "Alice's vision was so concrete though. So set. I don't think they'll listen to any diplomacy. Not like that group in Indiana. Perhaps Alice could tell for sure?"

All eyes fell on the shortest member of our family where she sat like a statue. Alice didn't move a muscle for a moment, her eyes not looking at the same world that we saw.

"Alice?" I asked tentatively, praying that there would be some other way to end this conflict. "Do you really think we'll have to fight?"

Alice was still motionless and I honestly wasn't sure if she'd heard my question.

"Yes," she replied. Her one word rang through the room, ominous. But Alice ignored our lack of reply. "Every possibility I can see results in a fight. Jasper's ability doesn't work on one of their people. No matter what we do, they will fight. They are set in that much."

"What are we waiting for then?!" Emmett asked, much too enthusiastic. "Let's crush those guys! They don't know that we know about their plan right? They'll think we're unprepared."

"We are unprepared," Jasper said dryly. All set of butterscotch eyes turned on my newest, but oldest and most experienced, son. "Woefully unprepared," Jasper emphasized.

"How can you say that?!" Rosalie demanded. "You don't really know us! You haven't been here that long!"

"Rosalie," I scolded. She glared at me for a moment. I returned my normal, caring look and her expression softened a bit.

"I know what you feel," Jasper said. This wasn't news to us. We all knew Jasper was gifted. "You feel enthusiastic, confident. But that can't replace skill otherwise I'd be dead long ago." He met each of our eyes in turn. It was almost unsettling to have your own gaze turned back on you.

"What do you suggest?" I asked. I was resigned to the fact that we couldn't avoid this disagreement. The others were too enthusiastic about it and both Alice and Edward assured me the other covens' minds were set.

"I can teach you some tricks. We can work with the fact that we have strong ties, stronger then they'll have anyway. And Edward's and Alice's gifts will give us an edge. I think we can win but we have to be careful and smart. "

So Jasper led us away from the house to a clearing in the woods, smaller then the one we'd used for baseball only the week before. He taught us techniques for offense and defense. He taught us how to use each other to succeed. Last of all, he told us how to eliminate a vampire, thoroughly.

"As you all know, we're practically indestructible. But that doesn't mean we can't be killed. To kill one of us, we have to dismember all parts, and then every piece has to be burned. Just because it's not attached to a body, doesn't mean it can't cause trouble." Suddenly Jasper, as an example, pulled his own hand off with a grunt. It made a horrible, high-pitched keeling noise, like nails on a chalk board. The hand was severed at the wrist, right at the joint. Every reaction in me yelled to reattach it. The surgeon in me knew a person would lose the hand if it wasn't reattached quickly and properly. Rosalie and Emmett lurched forward, like I did, as if to help. Esme yelped and buried her face in my shoulder. But Edward and Alice looked unconcerned. They'd flinched when Jasper had done it, but they didn't seem to think Jasper needed immediate medical attention. Or rather, they knew Jasper didn't need immediate medical attention, Edward by Jasper's thoughts, Alice by her visions of Jasper's future.

"See?" Jasper said. He held up the dismembered hand with the still attached one and it waved. There was a moment of silent shock, and then Emmett exploded into laughter. We all looked at him, and then Jasper, like they'd just told us pigs could fly and the sky was bright green.

Jasper placed his wrist back together and within half a minute, it was reattached, the vampire venom knitting it together better then stitches could have. I let out an involuntary sigh of relief and Esme took her face from my shoulder cautiously. I wrapped my arm around her, holding her close to me as she calmed down.

"I think that's all for now Jasper," I suggested. "Thank you." He nodded curtly. I'm sure he wanted to say more, but after his demonstration, I don't think it would've been a good idea. As it was, on the way home Emmett chattered with Jasper, talking about techniques for beheading. I tuned out their gruesome talk as I ran with Esme. I did not like the idea of fighting one bit, and I definitely didn't want my angel fighting. I couldn't even imagine her, dismembering a vampire, even a hostile one. And what if something happened to her? The people we would be fighting would be fighting back. And even though we had Edward and Alice and Jasper, there was the distinct possibility someone could get hurt, or even lost. I didn't want to think about it, but I knew it could happen.

Tell me what you think! It's not strictly Stephanie Meyer's idea, I know. Review and tell me your thoughts!

-Wish