In the middle of the night, Peyton woke up with a start. There were tears pouring down her cheeks, and she was fairly sure she had just been shouting Lucas's name. She only wished that the kids hadn't heard. She knew it happened occassionally, moreso right after the divorce, but it had been a long time since she'd woken up screaming out the blond's name. More often, she woke up crying, but she had thought the screaming had stopped. Tonight she had been dreaming about Lucas and Lindsey at the mall, and she was really wishing that it was her. She wanted to be the one pregnant with his child, and she wanted to be the one he wanted. She'd been trying to convince herself that wasn't true, but she knew she was just lying to herself.

As she tried to contol the tears, her door slipped open, and her daughter entered the room. Ainsley walked over and crawled into bed with her mother, trying to comfort her as she rested her head on her chest. Peyton didn't say anything, just wrapped her arms around her daughter, and tried to stop the tears. A few moments later, the door opened again, and Seth entered the room, crawling into the bed on Peyton's other side. Marissa and Madison soon appeared in the doorway. Since she was in a guest room, instead of her room, they were on a queen bed, and barely fitting as it was. Somehow, the two other teenagers found their way onto the bed though, sitting at the foot of it.

It was a few minutes before anyone broke the silence. "You're still not over Dad, are you?" Ainsley's voice broke the silence. There was a muffled sound that was unmistakable the sound of someone kicking her, but Peyton didn't scold either child. She didn't say anything, in fact, because the answer was quite obvious. Even with the divorce papers signed, and being processed, she still wanted her husband more than anything and, nothing against her kids, but she wished it was him next to her. She knew what that meant for her and Chase.

Instead of replying to the question, Peyton sat up, realizing that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Almost immediately, all four of them asked where she was going. She looked back at them when she was in the doorway. "Who's up for a midnight game of dominos?" she asked, with a quirked eyebrow. It had been a while since they had played dominos. Actually, it had been years. They used to play it a lot when things were good, because they all loved the game and it was something they could do together. Sometimes they would play in the middle of the night, mostly during thunderstorms, when someone couldn't sleep. Whoever couldn't sleep would come into their parents room, and, to keep their mind of the storm, Peyton and Lucas would suggest dominos. It eventually morphed into a family thing, to play dominos at night during thunder storms.

The teens looked hesitant, and shared a look as if they were questioning their mother's sanity. Honestly, they weren't the only ones. Peyton knew she had just been crying pretty much hysterically, and then she wanted to get up and play dominos? She would question her sanity, too, except, she knew the only way to forget about it was to do something else. So she would put it from her mind and play some dominos with her kids. "Come on, it's a Saturday night, and there's thunder," she prodded. The teens shared another look, then got up and followed their mother to the living room. Peyton grabbed some blankets from the linen closet so they could make a bed on the floor like they used to.

Pretty soon, all of the kids had joined them. They had a set of double-twelve dominos, so it was enough for all of them to play. They all got into it and, instead of playing the game to 250, like they usually did, they played until 1000, because they kept extending the goal, because they didn't want the game to end. It had been too long since they'd had such a carefree time as a family, even if they were missing one member of their family. The sextuplet's birthday party had been tense, but now they were just having fun. The early morning sun was peeking through the window when Peyton finally declared the game over. Marissa ended up being the winner, though Peyton, Ryan and Jessalyn were right behind her.

Everyone was yawning, but none of them really wanted to go back to bed, so Peyton sugested that she make breakfast, despite the fact that it was like five in the morning. It was declared a good idea, and she went to the kitchen, followed by Seth, Kerri, Jessalyn and Ryan, who decided to help her. The others stayed in the living room, moving on to video games while the food was cooked. Peyton moved around the kitchen, trying not to focus on the fact that she wished she was cooking with her husband. Unfortunately, she wouldn't even have a husband soon enough. Unofficially, she already didn't. Officially, she had to wait until she received the papers in the mail. She wasn't looking forward to that.

A few hours later, they were all lounging around the living room, still trying to digest all the food Peyton had made for breakfast. She used to not really be able to cook, but since becoming a mom, Peyton had learned how to make her way around the kitchen. Kerri had the remote and was lazily flipping through the channels while Peyton laid on the couch, her knees brought up so that Ainsley could curl up at her feet. Madison was sitting at the other end of the couch, and Peyton had her head in her daughters lap. Marissa was curled up on the chair next to the couch, with her ever-present cell phone. Jessalyn and Kerri were both lounging on the other couch, while the guys stretched out on the floor.

Just as Kerri settled on a movie they all liked to watch, there was a knock on the door. Peyton sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, because she'd been on the cusp of falling back to sleep, and stood, stretching her arms over her head as she made her way to the front door. She was wearing a pair of sleep shorts and an old tee-shirt of Lucas's which she hadn't given him back, though she probably should have. She had a whole box of his stuff that he had left when he had officially moved out, actually. A bunch of little things, which, for her sanity, she should really consider giving back to him. She knew it did her no good to hold onto his stuff, and it would probably be a clensing experience for her to give it back. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. She thought maybe, just maybe, one day he'd come back to her, and at least then she'd still have some of his stuff.

Of course, that was irrational, but she couldn't help it. She missed her husband. The little things that he would do and say, and the big things too. It was hard living every day without him, knowing she'd have to live this way for the rest of her life. She wasn't entirely sure she'd ever be able to fogive him, but she knew she might give it a try, if he expressed to her that he wanted one. She loved Lucas with all of her heart, and he'd always have a piece of it, even if he didn't want it anymore. There would always be a connection, because of their kids, but she knew she'd love him forever anyway. She had known it at eighteen, and she still knew it. She just wished he did too.

Shoving the thoughts away, well, to the back of her mind, because thoughts of Lucas never really went away, she opened the front door. Chase was standing there, with a big grin on his face. He held out tickets to her favorite band, and she grinned too, but her mind flashed with thoughts of Lucas, and all the concerts she went to with him. Immediately, she remembered the Cure concert that they never got to go to, and she internally winced, as she remembered the guy standing in front of her. Everything led to thoughts of Lucas, and she knew she could string Chase on no longer. "Listen, Chase, these are great, but we have to talk," she said, stepping outside and closing the door behind herself before walking over to the porch swing and sitting down.

Hesitantly, she could tell, Chase followed, the grin sliding off his face. He seemed to be bracing himself as he sat next to her. He didn't speak, waiting for her to speak what was on her mind. "Listen, Chase, you're a great guy, and you're good to me, too good to me, really. I don't deserve it," she held up a hand, to stop his protests. "One day you're going to find a great woman, one who does deserve all the love you can give, someone who can love you back with her whole heart, but it's not me. I'm really sorry," she said, and she truely was, "but my heart will always lie with someone else. I wish I could change that, but I can't," she said, as a tear slipped from her eye. She hated that she had to hurt Chase, but she wouldn't lead him on anymore.

The brunet next to her seemed to understand exactly what she was saying. He didn't really like it, but he knew it was the truth. He had been hoping that he could help Peyton get over Lucas, but obviously, that was not the case. He handed over the tickets anyway. "No, I get it Peyton, I do. You keep the tickets, because I don't really like the band anyway. It was good while it lasted. I only hope that you can get over him before the next person comes along and thinks he can help you, only to get his heart broken. You're an amazing person, Peyton Sawyer, and anyone who can't see that is a fool," he told her, ignoring her protests as he leaned over, kissed her cheek, and dropped the tickets into her lap before getting up and walking away.

Only the one tear slipped down Peyton's cheek, and that was how she knew for sure that she'd never be able to love Chase the same way she loved Lucas. If the tears weren't there, the love wasn't either. Not in the way she wanted it to be. She had meant what she said about him finding a great woman one day. She only hoped that woman was more deserving of his love than she was. She sat outside for a few more minutes, until long after she lost sight of his car, and then stood, headed back inside to her kids, trying to make sure there were no outward signs that she had just broken up with Chase.

Of course, since they were half Lucas too, they immediately knew something was wrong with Peyton. Every one of them sat up straighter and paid attention when Jessalyn asked what was wrong, and Kerri even turned off the TV. Peyton took her seat on the couch, rolling her eyes slightly, even though she yelled at her kids for that all the time. It was something they got from her. "You guys are too much like your father sometimes," she muttered under her breath, referring to the fact that, prior to everything going downhill, Lucas had always known when something was wrong with Peyton. "Chase and I broke up," she added at normal volume, when she realized that they wouldn't give up.

All of them looked at her, as if they had expected it. Ansley and Madison both leaned into their mom. There were a few murmured sympathies, and then they all focused on the TV again, as if, not only had they expected it, they had wanted it to happen. She realized they probably just wanted their mom to get back together with their dad. She just wasn't sure that would ever happen. She wasn't even sure it should. Sure, there were eight very good reasons for it to happen, but she didn't have the heart to tell them that he had picked someone else. They weren't enough, or, Peyton wasn't enough. Either way, he just wasn't going to come back.

Still trying to get her mind of Lucas, Peyton turned her attention to the TV. All nine of them watched TV for a long time, before Marissa got up to take a shower. Madison claimed she had a date with her boyfriend, and she followed Marissa out of the room. Both Martin and Ryan said they were going to go to the Rivercourt, and they headed upstairs. Kerri took Madisons recently occupied spot on the couch as Jessalyn went to her room. Seth went upstairs to retreive his notebook before he returned and took up in the chair, writing whatever it was he wrote.

A little while later, all her kids were out of the house, doing their own thing. Sophia came over, and dragged Ainsley to the mall claiming that they hadn't been to the mall in a long time, when, in reality, they had gone just a couple days before. Sophia was exactly like Brooke as a teenager. Well, except for the obsession with sex. Sophia dated, quite more than her father would like, but she didn't sleep with guys the way Brooke had in high school, much to the pleasure of both her parents. The guys had walked to the Rivercourt, so Seth used the truck to drive to his best friend's house, and then maybe to the music store. Jessalyn had taken the girls car, since Ainsley and Sophia had gotten a ride from her mom, and Marissa had been picked up by her friends, and Kerri had also left the house.

Wandering around the house, Peyton didn't know what she wanted to do. Well, she wanted to crawl into bed, and stay there until her husband came back to her, but that wasn't something that was likely to happen. So she settled for watching a movie, except as she was walking back to the living room, she noticed the little corner she'd dedicated to pictures from her wedding day. Every other picture of Lucas in the house she'd destroyed, or gotten rid of. If the teens had wanted any of them, they had better have stolen them before, because she had gone after them on one of her angry days, and not a single one of them had survived. Except the wedding pictures.

In the beginning, she tried to tell herself that it was because she wanted to remember the day, but she knew it was because she couldn't let go. She didn't understand it, really. He looked so happy in the pittures, and she knew she was happy. How could that have changed so drastically? The pictures were old, now, of course, they'd been on display for eighteen years, but she couldn't believe that her marriage hadn't long outlasted the pictures. She had thought she and Lucas would get past the statistics. Sure, most parents of sets of multiples get divorced, but she had thought they would beat that.

Now it was obvious that they hadn't, so there was really no point in keeping the pictures up any longer, right? She could give not one or two, but eight reasons that proved they should be together. Their kids, she had always thought, were proof that they were destined to be together. They had always wanted a buig family, and when they thought they would be stuck with only three, and they ended up with eight, she had thought that was perfect, and meant they would last forever. She had never expected that they wouldn't even last two decades.

With that last thought, she decided it was time to put away the wedding photos. She went up to the attic and took a box that was almost empty, moving the stuff somewhere else, and went back downstairs, and finally packed away the photos from her wedding with Lucas. She was going to make a conscious effort to get over him, and that was going to be helped by the fact that he was leaving for his book tour as soon as the school year ended. He had destroyed her belief in happy ever after, but she decided she was going to find it again. She was going to prove Ainsley-and the rest of her kids, not to mention herself, really-wrong. She planned on getting over Lucas Scott.

A/N: Yeah, this chapter is kind of short, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't think of anything else to do. I am going to have to put this fic on hiatus for a while, because though I know where I'm going with this, I'm not going to have the ample time to write that I thought I would when I started this fic. I will gladly continue writing when I have more time, as long as I have people who still want to read this. I'm sorry for those of you I'm disappointing, and thank you to those who have reviewed this fic, and put it on alert and favorites. I only hope you still want to read it when I am ready to continue.

Disclaimer: I own nothing in relation to One Tree Hill.