The days seemed to blend together, making it hard for him to distinguish the difference between night and day anymore. It was like he was on autopilot, coursing through his life with no real aim or reason. He's scheduled to meet with Sam and the lawyers in a matter of hours, but his body just didn't want to move from the couch.
Somehow he had found his way to sit on that couch in the middle of the night, sleep barely within his grasp lately. There was just so much going on in the small town of Port Charles that his mind couldn't shut itself off long enough to get any peace. In the short instances where his mind finally gets to that point, dreams of Robin and his son pop up and he's startled awake before he gets any real sleep.
Sam's son has been returned, after much hassle and confessing, but the important part was that she didn't lose another child. Admittedly, he would have wanted to be there for her, to help her through the situation until she finally got her son back, but she didn't want him there and he didn't blame her.
John McBain. The constant thorn in his side, yet he's able to comfort Sam where Jason has failed and he had to appreciate that on some level. There was once a time where he blamed all his woes on the cop, but - deep down - he knew it was merely projection. He needed someone to hate and McBain was an easy target.
It seemed that the only time he had clarity, the only time he has focus, is with Elizabeth and her sons. The mystery surrounding Ewen has given Jason something to focus on. It has given him a purpose and that purpose is to protect Elizabeth from whatever danger Ewen Keenan presents.
Despite Elizabeth's defense, Jason knows that there's something off with the doctor. He doesn't know what it is or how serious the secret may be, but he knows there is one and he won't stop until he's certain that Elizabeth and her boys are out of harm's way.
Of course, he also wanted to be there for her now that they know Robin's alive. The day they both found out is a day Jason would remember forever. He would never forget the look on Elizabeth's face when Anna told them that Robin was alive. Initially there was a look of relief and happiness. Robin's her best friend, of course she'd be happy she was alive.
But then there was a different look to grace her face when Anna turned and walked away. It was the look that made him weak at the knees, the look that mirrored his own, it was a look of pain and heartache. For, once again, the painful reminder of the loss of their son was brought to the forefront of their lives.
It seemed that everyone was getting the miracle that neither of them were granted. Luke, the son of a bitch that ran down their son, was granted the chance at a future with his daughter. Jason would never wish anything bad to happen to Lulu, but Luke didn't deserve any form of a miracle. He deserved nothing. Yet he got it.
Then there was Carly. His best friend. Yes, he had been glad that Jocelyn survived. It would have been a waste of asking Elizabeth for Jake's kidneys had the young girl died, but - more than that - Jocelyn deserved a future. Even with the love he felt for the little girl, he felt a twinge of jealousy that Carly got a second chance. When her daughter was a death's door, she was granted a miracle.
The list goes on. Sam. Everyone believed her son had died...only for it to be a simple baby swap. Okay. Maybe its not simple, but still...at least she has another chance to hold her son. Jason knows, better than anyone, how long she has wanted the chance to be a mother, but a part of him felt she didn't deserve it either. He hates that part of him, but its there regardless.
After everything that she has done, if she deserved a chance to have her son back, didn't he and Elizabeth deserve that chance, too? Why, after everything they've been through, did their son have to be the only one that couldn't be found alive?
Lastly, there's Anna and Robert. He loves Robin like family, but he still couldn't help but feel jealous of Anna and Robert. They were hardly in Robin's life, Mac had been the true parent, but still they are granted their miracle. Though it could be argued that the miracle was Mac's and boy did he deserve it, but still...why was the miracle granted everyone but not them?
Feeling himself growing tense over a reality that could not be changed, Jason rises to his feet, ready to face the inevitable. Though he holds jealousy for Sam's miracle, he can't be sorry for it because she needed this miracle. With their marriage having fallen apart, Sam needed something in her life to hold close. Her son had to be the best miracle she has ever prayed for.
Walking over to the closet, he reaches up for the gun that has grown to be an extension of who he is, something he donned so easily like a pair of biker boots or his leather jacket. Today, though, it feels like a ten ton object in his hands. Everything seemed to weight him down lately.
Securing it at the small of his back, Jason stands in front of the full length mirror that Sam had hung by the doorway. In respect for their marriage and the end of it, Jason has yanked out his suit - the one he hated more than anything - and shoved himself into it. Knowing that she'd appreciate him not wearing his jeans and leather jacket - his casual wear as she would put it - to end their marriage.
A knock at the door pulls him out of his current thoughts. He assumes its Diane, wanting to meet beforehand to do some final touches on her side before they meet with Alexis and Sam. Though the pain was starting to numb out, Jason wasn't at all looking forward to actually signing the papers. Diane, on the other hand, seemed to be thrilled and he wouldn't even dare ponder why.
"Diane, I've said what I had to say in regard to the..." Jason says as he opens the door, stunned into silence when he finds, not Diane, but Elizabeth on the other side.
"Sorry." Elizabeth says softly, taking in his anxious appearance. "Its just me."
"Sorry...I could have sworn you'd be Diane wanting to..." Jason shakes his head before opening the door further to allow her entrance into the penthouse. "Come on in."
Accepting his gesture, she walks past him, undoing her coat and sliding it off before removing her gloves. The days seemed to be getting colder and he was glad she was taking precautions to ward off the cold winds. As he shuts the door, she makes her way over to the wet bar, knowing he'd be offering it to her anyway.
Over the last month they've grown comfortable with each other, making themselves at home in each other's places without either of them offering anything or making pointless gestures. Making herself a drink, she pours him a glass of water, as well, before walking back over to him.
"I remembered." she gives as an explanation, understanding filling his eyes. "I want to be there for you, if you'll let me."
A part of him wanted to say no, she shouldn't be there for the end of his marriage, because he didn't want her to see what he'll look like afterwards. He wants to say no, but a bigger part of him needs her there. It wasn't even a question of whether or not John McBain will be there. He's always there. Was it wrong for him to want some support, too?
"Jason?" she looks at him intently, wondering what must be running through his mind in that moment. This being the third divorce he'll be going through.
Sure, Brenda wasn't even a question, he didn't love her and their marriage had been one of convenience, but still...it was a divorce. Then there had been Courtney, he did love her - as much as she wish he didn't - she knows he did and the end of that marriage had been hard for him. Knowing he had hoped she was the one. The one to accept his life and the way he lived it.
"What about the boys?" he voices, wondering where they were since today would be her first day off all week.
"Cameron staying at a friend's house for a birthday party sleepover." Elizabeth explains, smiling slightly as she remembers how excited her son had been. "And my gram has pretty much claimed Aiden for today. Since its my first day off, she wants me to have time for myself."
"You should do it then." Jason encourages, knowing there wasn't much time that Elizabeth ever spent for herself. "I'll be fine."
"Sure you will." Elizabeth shakes her head, wishing he'd drop the act. "I want to be here for you, Jason. Please let me."
"Okay." he concedes, not having much energy to fight her on it for much longer. "You win."
"Jason." she sighs, picking up her things. "If you really don't want me there, just say so, I'll understand. Today is about you and Sam...I wouldn't want to cause any unnecessary stress for you."
"No...I want you there." Jason admits, grabbing his suit jacket, admitting the next sentence on a hushed tone. "I need you there."
With the words spoken, she guides him out of his penthouse, down to parking garage, and into her parked car. Elizabeth would have allowed him to drive his SUV, but she knew that he wouldn't have it in him to drive after the meeting with Sam and the lawyers.
As they're driving a news report comes on over the radio, Jason tuning in at the mention of Michael's girlfriend Starr Manning. It was no secret now that Michael and the girl have gotten increasingly close over the last few months, their relationship out in the open for all to see. Something he hoped didn't come back to haunt the boy he'd always consider a son.
Listening to the broadcast, Jason's heart swelled with pain, forcing himself to look over at Elizabeth. Yet another child has been brought back to life. Only it wasn't their son and they both knew it would probably never be their son, but they still dared to hope.
Apparently Starr Manning's daughter, Hope Manning Thornhart was found and taken before the car exploded. The not-so-dead Victor Lord Jr. had taken her, leaving the father for dead and walking away with his "granddaughter" as the car went up in flames.
A whole history and background is divulged over the open airwaves, but neither Jason or Elizabeth heard any of it. Jason's anxious hands had reached up and shut off the broadcast, allowing the silence to settle over them. Neither would speak of the hurt they felt, knowing full well that no words needed to be spoken.
The hurt is something they will grow used to over time as more and more children are lost and come up found again. There was no use it talking about it or using pointless words to mask the pain. They both know what they feel and they'll allow each other to feel them. Knowing that no amount of words could ever make it right or easier. Only time will tell if the hurt will dull or remain as vibrant as it is in that moment.
"You gonna be okay?" Elizabeth questions as they walk into the law firm, slipping her hand in his for strength.
"Yeah...I think so." he admits sadly, giving her hand a soft squeeze before releasing it. "You'll wait out here for me?"
"Of course." she says without hesitation, spotting John McBain off to the side, sitting in the waiting area with Sam's son. "You can do it...you're strong enough to do this."
"I hope so." he replies, suddenly pulling her into a warm embrace, needing the strength she could provide, afraid to make the final steps in ending his marriage. "Thank you for coming with me."
"Nowhere I'd rather be." she whispers, allowing him to hold her for a moment longer before watching him walk the distance to the conference room with a heavy heart.
Admittedly, she never wanted their marriage to happen, but she also didn't want it to end like this. In spite of her feelings towards Sam, she wanted their marriage to work because, first and foremost, Jason deserved to be happy and she thought Sam fulfilled that. What she's witnessing right now was the furthest from what she had wanted for him. It was the last thing she wanted for him.
"Hi." Elizabeth greets John McBain, holding out her hand. "We never officially met, but I'm Elizabeth Webber."
"John McBain." John smiles tentatively as he shakes her hand, being sure to support the baby's head. "Nice to officially meet you."
"You, too." she gestures to the seat across from him. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all." John shakes his head, taking his seat once she does. "So...you're friends with Jason Morgan?"
"You could say that." she smiles slightly at the term friends...almost impossible to think of her and Jason as merely friends. "He really seems to like you."
"Jason?" he says disbelievingly, causing her to laugh.
"No...not Jason." Elizabeth shakes her head. "The baby."
"Oh...yeah, the feeling's mutual." John laughs his somewhat nervous laugh, having never spoken to Elizabeth, in length, before now. "He's a good kid."
"I'm sure he is." Elizabeth agrees, touching the baby gently. "You can tell me if I'm overstepping, but I've been wondering what she decided to name him..."
"Nah...its fine." he assures, readjusting the baby as he gently rocks him to sleep. "She named him Daniel Jack McCall...we call him DJ for short."
"DJ...strong name for a strong boy." Elizabeth comments, gently touching the baby's hand, bringing her memories to her son - causing her to retract away from the baby.
Not normally one to talk so much, besides with his soon-to-be ex-wife and Sam, John was surprised at how easy it was to talk to her. Sam has told him some of the history between her, Elizabeth, and Jason, but he didn't draw any conclusions from their past. Sitting there, talking to the mother of three - now two - John found that he genuinely liked her.
Before they know it Jason and Sam exit the conference room with their lawyers, clearly it had been an emotional meeting, both wondering how their next meeting will go. Today was simply about laying down the details of the divorce, the next meeting will be to look over the final document and sign the divorce papers.
Jason and Sam were both physically hurt to see the source of comfort for each other. Sam's being John and Jason's being Elizabeth. Neither voiced it, of course, merely shaking hands saying goodbye to their lawyers before moving on. Sam takes her son from John, cradling him in her arms as they move to leave.
"It was nice talking to you, Liz." John says as he secures the diaper bag strap on his shoulder.
"Yeah...you, too." Elizabeth replies, turning to Jason when John and Sam walk away. "You ready to get out of here?"
"Since the moment I walked in." Jason says, ignoring the fact that she and John seemed to hit it off okay. "I feel like going for a ride...wanna come with me?"
"Sure." she smiles slightly, linking her arm with his as they head out of the law firm. "I'd love to go for a ride."
Alexis and Diane watch in silence as both couples leave the building. Alexis's heart went out to her daughter, but she knew that things happen for a reason. Having come close to death's door, once again, she has learnt to let things be. Diane links arms with her, a playful smirk on her face as she suggests they go out for drinks.
As John and Sam make their way into their apartment, Jason and Elizabeth straddle his bike before taking off as fast as they can go. Its been a long while since either of them have been on the back of his bike and Jason just wanted to relish in the moment. Putting the pain behind him and accepting what is, they both take off in search of the wind. Jason needing to find it in the most desperate of ways and his comment from years ago still stands true...he only ever sees the wind when he's with her and that's exactly what he needs now. The Wind.
A/N: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! A MILLION TIMES THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!
Honestly, I've come to really enjoy this one. I start writing and I just can't seem to stop. As you can see, just these two chapters are longer than most my chapters...I guess my muse just can't help but write profusely for this one. Seeing as me and my muse pretty much can't really accept what they're doing on the show. I admit, things are pretty much more interesting that they have been in a while and they're giving us our Liason fix, but still...
Anyway, let me know what you think. Can't wait to hear from you.
- ROCkER