Thousand huge thanks to SadEcho, since without her support I would probably lost the courage to pull all of this off. :)
Do not own One Piece, just playing with characters in my own way.
Warnings: Minor foul language
Those, who dare to threaten or harm anyone from the Strawhat's crew usually don't live for long ... and those, who dare to provoke Zoro on top of that, will die even sooner. Or... not?
The reaction was instantaneous and within a split of second the intruder was facing all kinds of weapons from swords, to foot, blue staff, a cane mounted with a slingshot, and to the really big arm with a gaping hole in it. But the redhead didn't even flinch, looking with the same unfazed, mildly irritated expression that now contained a hint of morbid curiosity. Either the intruder was completely oblivious of the fact that the whole crew was on stand-by for a fight, or goddamn confident in his own actual abilities. Or both.
"You!" a growl almost spilled from Zoro's lips when he recognized the face much to the brief confusion of the rest of the crew.
Dozens of arms suddenly sprouted out of the railing to try and hold the intruder down. Another set appeared right behind the neck of the redhead in an attempt for a forward strangle. Without any sign of attacking in response, the intruder fluidly leapt backwards out of their reach, sliding back into the water as smoothly as a well struck nail into the wood, with Luffy still at his back, and disappeared.
"Luffy!" Chopper shrieked, jumping out from behind Robin from where he had hidden before. In his alarmed state he rushed over to the railing, jumping over and forgetting he would turn into sack of potatoes as soon as he will hit the water.
"Chopper!" Brook screamed, leaping down to the water too in a desperate attempt to save his nakamas. Devil fruit or not.
"Brook! Chopper!" Nami paled with fear, but maybe if she was a bit faster she could have at least caught this, two splashes resounded from the starboard as the two devil-fruit's users sealed their own unfortunate fates.
"Wait, you idiots!" Sanji screamed, kicking off his boots and throwing off the black jacket before leaping over the railing too.
"I'll slice him into noodles! He will regret ever being born!" Zoro growled, partially with anger and partially with worry, knowing all too well what kind of effect the sea water has on his rubber captain and nakamas who were unable to swim. He did not bother to even kick off his boots or put aside his swords. The swordsman threw himself into the waves head first.
Sunny dangerously swayed on the water surface, steadily rising as the waves became even bigger, causing Franky to rush behind the helm to grasp at the steering to secure the ship at the sea.
Usopp's yelp of shock briefly after alerted that part of crew, who had decided not to get wet, that something was going on again. The sharpshooter stood there, rooted to the ground with trembling knees, pointing right at the surprised and dumbfounded redhead who had silently appeared at the railing on the port side. Luffy was still hanging from the back of person, who was squatting again and for now observing how much the strawhats numbers had gone down.
"Holy shit, that worked better than I thought it would!" the intruder mused in surprise, scratching his head when the sudden movement of the disembodied arms that belonged to dark-haired woman came into sight.
"Continue and Simon will say, that these will stop being sheathed. On the other hand, I'm not going to insist on a fight." the redhead casually interjected, raising the hand with the two sheathed, wrapped in pieces of black cloth, swords to emphasize the warning enlaced behind those words. It was as if the redhead was merely commenting on the weather, not facing an actual danger of attack.
"Then why did you ambush us in the first place?" Robin asked with a smile, though she meant the question as mostly rhetorical. Her arms were still crossed before her chest, ready to attack the second the intruder tried something. From the time she had spent in the company of several different outlaw organizations, she knew better than to trying solving everything through violence, unlike certain others. Sometimes things just worked out best when discussed, willingly or not.
"Who ambushed whom?" the redhead asked, pulling out a genuinely confused look, as if questioning Robin's sanity "If my peaceful appearance here is considered as an ambush then what the hell should I take your actions for? Especially that part with the demolition of my ship?" The mildly raspy voice began to drift into an annoyed tone, but it drove the point home with frightening accuracy. All highlighted with a good dose of sarcasm in those words.
"We didn't do ... wait ... what?" Nami blinked in surprise, not sure if she heard right. "Your ship?" she echoed as she tried to grasp what the redhead was saying. "That little boat?!"
"Yep, that was my ship." the intruder confirmed caustically. "And if you didn't, then what you did? There are heaps of space around with almost nothing to crash into! But nooo, you just have to go straight over me!" the redhead voiced out, clearly with apparent indignation that arouse from the situation. His heavy gesticulation with a free hand caught the strawhats a bit off guard when Luffy let out another, even louder groan, which with a good dose of imagination could be translated as "Meat!" or a "Hat!", causing the redhead to snap at the poor rubber man over it's shoulder.
"And you, stop groaning into my ear so loud dammit! If you didn't want to end up like this you shouldn't tried to play 'Everything is flying, what have wings' in the first place!" the intruder scolded the boy while shaking the shoulder Luffy was leaning against. But inside that coarse, irritated voice there was clearly a concerned undertone, followed with heavy sigh and face palm. But the captain just groaned something even louder in answer. The redhead decided to slide the completely exhausted Luffy from his back, ignoring how the trio on deck stiffened in alert, and slowly placed him down on the lawn into sitting position to be supported by the railing. After that the intruder continued in a calmer, but still very assertive tone as if he just shook off almost all of the previous irritation. "Either way you look at it, this being just an accident is highly unlikely. So, I'm really very interested in your explanation, since it will determine the next course of my actions."
"And we are really very interested as to what you did to him." a cold and intimidating growl came from the side to interrupt the ongoing debate, causing the redhead's visible eye to temporarily leave the mikan head to see where it came from.
At the railing stood Zoro, towering above the squatting redhead with his right thumb resting on the white hilt of Wado Ichimonji in a silent warning towards the intruder; he better had a good reason for this if he valued his own life.
One green eye slid over the menacing swordsman. All the way from the unusual minty green, cropped, and spiky hair, down to the feet, encased in black, sturdy boots, and stopping briefly at the three swords tucked into the scarlet sash, before the eye rose back up with a daring glare.
The redhead pulled out a completely careless smile, closing both eyes in the process. "First things first. I asked sooner."
Cracking a maliciously amused smile at the unexpected reaction, Zoro was secretly pleased that this annoyance didn't flake out under his glare in the first few seconds. The swordsman flicked a sword out with his thumb with a loud click, digging his predatory-like glare hard into the audacious intruder. Wordlessly he hinted that the redhead would be better off answering right now, unless he wanted something very nasty to happened.
Absolutely unfazed by the threatening glare, the redhead continued that provocatively innocent smile, cracking a green eye half open as if to tease the swordsman. That impish look said exactly what the green-haired man could do to this person.
Zoro's smile popped right into a demonic grin as the swordsman slowly pulled out Wado Ichimonji, placing its edge dangerously near the redhead's neck. Though not initially wanting to resort to this, if that daredevil wanted it this way, he would gladly oblige. There were some unsorted bills between them after all, and why not grab the opportunity when it was right under his nose?
The only sound, that disturbed the uneasy and tense silence was splashing as Sanji climbed back on deck, dragging the exhausted Chopper and Brook up with him. Even the wind disappeared for a while, as if afraid of what would happen next.
"Damn Marimo, what the hell are you thinking?! Throwing Chopper at me like some kind of shitty ball?!" Sanji complained, chewing around his drenched cigarette as he threw both of his heavy burdens onto the lawn. Upon registering the situation he couldn't suppress his smirk. "Ah, so you decided to be usefu ..." the cook's words stopped when he realized the situation and tension in the air. "You idiotic shitty Marimo! You can't just kill him when you want to ask the questions! That's not how interrogation works!" Sanji snapped at the swordsman's behavior towards intruder, realizing another of the Zoro's quirks afterwards. "And stop challenging that bastard, goddammit!"
"Ehehe ... this again? Seriously?" Redhead thought with a successfully hidden spike of amusement, temporarily forgetting about the sword at his neck "I smell a lot of fun ahead!" he decided to stick with what the crew assumed, for now. "If they want it this way ..." This kind of amusement, that was sure to be in the future, just couldn't be overlooked by someone like him.
No one moved a finger. The eyes of everyone still conscious were glued to the green-haired swordsman who towered above the squatting redhead. Zoro was sending out his usual "you are soo screwed" type of killing intent that was reserved for such occasions.
Redhead's face darkened as the fringe shadowed both eyes and the corners of his lips dropped slightly. Avoiding any unnecessary movement, giving off the vibe of utter carelessness. Intruder moved his weight from left leg to right, sliding the left foot to the side and moving just an inch out of reach from the swordsman's blade currently endangering his neck, wrapped in green. While not leaving the squatting position, he did not exactly move away further either.
Taking a firm half step to get the intruder near his sword again, Zoro returned the blade back at its temporary place at the redhead's neck, showing that there wouldn't be an easy way out of trouble the intruder just embedded itself into. Messing with strawhats was never a good idea even with Luffy temporarily out of order, since Zoro was usually more than proficient enough to fill in for him until the captain caught up. He was like really good insurance in case something went wrong, which tended to happened at regular basis. Still the swordsman couldn't suppress a disappointed feeling that had been growing inside of his stomach when he realized how wrong he had initially evaluated the redhead's ability to stand up to him. It left a bad aftertaste in his mouth. He secretly hoped for more fun than just this.
Reverting his one-eyed glare back to reality, the picture before Zoro made him frown. Redhead was still carelessly squatting like nothing had happened, but he was now an inch out of range again. As if he was completely oblivious towards what was happening and what was sure to happen next. Zoro began to feel his irritation growing deep within his head. He never let his prey escape. Especially the kind that dared to even think about harming his nakama.
With a deep frown, openly showing off his assumed mental and physical superiority, the swordsman made another half step, emphasizing it with a loud stomp on the railing. It surprised him a little that he didn't even hear, nor felt, the redhead move for the second time. He felt his suspicion accumulating as he spotted the brief, faint smile on the redhead's lips when he moved. But he wasn't the only one who was beginning to wonder what the hell was happening. From a brief look at the rest of his crew, similar confusion was etched in most their faces who were equally unsure what to do.
Despite the legends that had been circulating around the world, the strawhats weren't ones to go into meaningless fights. It was usually Luffy who decided which fight they would pick and which one just wasn't worth of it. But now, with their captain temporarily incapacitated, uncertainty slowly crept into their minds. No one wanted to upset Luffy by making the wrong choice.
If the intruder had been more aggressive, it would have been clear what to do. But until now, despite the strawhat's reactions of the intruder's sudden appearance, there was no sign of hostility towards the crew and even an attempt for a peaceful deal had been made. Of course, real intentions were still hidden somewhere in the thick mist, which only Luffy seemed to be able to see through. And if Luffy wasn't there to see through the mist, then no one else could. The only way to investigate was to get it out of the perpetrator itself, hard way or not.
Returning his glare back down again, a vein in Zoro's forehead literally popped out in full beauty when he found that annoying redhead relaxing a fucking inch out of his range for the third time in a row. The pirate smirked with the impish curiosity of a child that just decided to test where the patience boundary of its parents lies.
Head propped on the left palm, the green eye mischievously looked towards Zoro with something the swordsman translated as the excitement of a child who had just spotted a familiar shape under the Christmas tree, wondering if it was that desired present they had wished for.
The redhead patiently waited for what ever could possibly happen next. Stunned looks coming from Franky, Nami, and Sanji face, together with the terrified expression of Usopp, and decorated with subtle giggle that escaped from Robin's lips, suddenly hit him with a realization right between his eyes.
Zoro stared hard down into the green eye again. Redhead's look only confirmed to him that those weren't random actions at all. The mere ridiculousness of the entire situation right now was simply too much. On top of screaming 'obvious provocation' out loud only served to make Zoro feel like a pissed off bull teased by a huge piece of red cloth, which he somehow had obliviously managed to overlook until now.
That redhead had obviously been making fun out of him from the very beginning and he had foolishly let himself be caught in it!
That was something Zoro's ego couldn't quite stomach and suddenly the swordsman remembered Mihawk's opinion about 'the true nature of redheads', which the warlord had mentioned a few times during Zoro's stay at Kuraigana. Only once had his former master warned him so straightforwardly in such a serious tone, giving out the feeling it was based based on his own unfortunate experiences, to watch himself for anything that happen to have red hair. That was, if he didn't want to aim for a constant headache in the future. Only now he felt a brief spark of understanding towards those wise words. If he had only known that it was for the last time...
Cracking out his trademark predatory crooked smile again, he decided to step up the game for real. A game that could only work out if played by a pair at least. Pleased on the inside that his instinct wasn't too far off this time either, Zoro's face darkened and his eyes slightly narrowed.
"Running away?" said the swordsman, deciding to throw in his own tease into the action, pulling off the most taunting smile in his arsenal.
"Like what does it look?" the redhead asked casually, observing for the green-haired man's reactions and probably trying to predict the next course of their personal game that just started.
"Like you are turning tail already." Zoro grinned confidently, sure this would set the redhead literally on the fire. It worked almost every time ... almost.
"You are half blind. Your other eye probably needs a good checkup too." the redhead politely offered him the possible solution. It caught Zoro a bit off guard. Not that the swordsman would show it on the outside, but inwardly it felt like a kick straight to his ego.
"Then what are you doing?" the swordsman asked in low, dangerous taunting voice, which suitably framed his overall, dangerous as hell impression. If that redhead wanted to play with him so much it would be according to his rules. And he will make sure to enjoy every bit of it. At least until the intruder decided to attack in any way.
"Waiting." Came the immediate, careless answer, with honesty that was bordering on bold insanity and underlined with a subtle mischievous taunt hidden inside, that made Zoro's heart jump in excitement. At least he didn't need to worry that his opponent would turn tail anytime soon, given the intruder's behavior up until now.
Taking a whole, properly emphasized, step forward to make sure it would take more than just crawling to get out of his reach, the swordsman was now standing right behind the redhead as close as possible. He had adjusted the blade to a new position but still aimed for the neck.
"For something in particular?" Zoro had decided for himself beforehand, that despite the ways the redhead had been throwing the answers at him, it would not get the better of him. Not in a million years. It was a simple question of pride.
"Yup." The intruder tilted his head down, sliding under that deadly sharp piece of metal to pop back up, with just the most necessary of movements, over to the safe dull side. The redhead avoided another attempt at cornering, almost immediately sweeping away any of the swordsman's attempts at staying calm.
"Care to share?"
"Mhm." The redhead hummed in agreement, still observing the swordsman with that curiously wondering look. As the black eye slightly twitched, something flashed through that green gaze. But it was so fast it made Zoro wonder whether it was just for the plain intention of making him snap, or something else, which he probably wouldn't like either.
Lowering his head near the intruder's, he decided to take another step further into that battle of patience.
"Do I need to beat it out of you?" he whispered in a menacing tone. At least knowing what the intruders intentions were could help the crew decide their next course of actions. If threatening methods were the only way then he didn't really have a problem with it. As long as it worked out.
"Oh, no, not in the slightest!" the redhead mincingly reacted with passion at such a threat, waving it casually off with his free hand. But the mischievous and taunting undertone didn't loosen in the slightest. "Maybe you are just asking the wrong questions?" the intruder offered politely, shrugging it off in obviously faked uncertainty.
This time it was Sanji who couldn't suppress a chuckle, not counting Robin whose smile had been widening almost all the while. The cook found himself just barely resisting the urge to send the redhead a thumb up since the whole scene was far too satisfying considering how Zoro was getting a taste of his own medicine for all those witty remarks up until now. And in such concentrated form. Not that he himself had been falling too far behind when it came to that. But doing it and looking at it being done by another were two far different things. It was like when you cook for yourself to eat. But food that has been cooked by someone else tastes better every time.
Almost screwing the idea of staying as calm and composed as possible, at this point the green-haired man wanted nothing more than to stomp the redhead eyesore through the sea bed right into the opposite hemisphere of the world.
Flaming red with anger in a similar shade of the hairs near his face, the swordsman completely overheard Usopp's terrified high-pitched squeak caused by the waves of pure dread he was giving out. All of this was catalyzed by the sound Sanji just made. Up in the sky a peregrine falcon decided it had had enough fun with its stolen object and dropped the no longer interesting item from its claws.
"So you won't tell us voluntarily?" the swordsman growled, clearly stating that his patience was rapidly thinning out. It wouldn't be wise to push him any further. Screw his damned pride, at this moment he needed, no, wanted, to get the answer out of that daredevil. Despite having superiority in numbers, that carelessness and boldness the redhead had been displaying all this time had begun to unnerve everyone by at least a fraction at some point.
It has to take a huge chunk of courage, or even bigger a piece of confidence, to behave like this before the mostly pissed off pirate crew who were in stand-by for a fight, with an even more pissed off swordsman on top of all that. Or it could have been the complete obliviousness and lack of self-preservation, which had been bordering with pure insanity. It didn't make that much difference, considering it was Zoro who had been pushed to his patience limits of all the possible people.
"I will." The redhead politely smiled like the sun, making Zoro's eye to twitch again. He was beginning to get fed up with this screwed up game; from the initial excitement there was almost nothing left. All that was present was growing frustration, rising irritation, and running out patience and anger that built up deep inside of him, endangering to sweep away everything as soon as the dam would rupture. But he couldn't get the interest in the redhead's possible swordsmanship out of his mind, which was still a great unknown during this whole time. You could call it a professional deformation since every swordsman in the world was infected by this type of curiosity more or less.
"Then spit it out, right now." Zoro growled from between his gritted teeth, pressing the blade firmly against green scarf so it slightly cut the fabric apart to emphasize his already clear words. Redhead didn't moved an inch now, but for a second the green eye lost its playfulness and curiosity, fading into blank poker face. Just that brief moment sent strange shivers up Zoro's spine as the green eye deeply stared down to his black one.
"You are no fun, Greenie." the redhead suddenly pouted with childish disappointment, pulling out first-class duckface and reverted the glare aside to emphasize his sudden lost of interest.
Zoro felt like he had just announced to a young child that Santa Claus simply doesn't exist, which proceed right into feeling that he's not aiming for the title of the best swordsman in the world, but for the biggest asshole under the sun instead. Then, the swordsman's patience finally ran out.
His calloused hand shot forward and down to grab the redhead harshly around the neck as Zoro bent slightly down while not moving his blade from its place.
"You goddamn redheaded pain in the ass! You will spill it out this instant, or I'll gut you like a fish!" Zoro yelled, pissed off beyond belief, making Sanji secretly wonder how exactly the intruder managed to hijack Zoro's berserk buttons with such accuracy in such a short time.
"Hey, you don't need to be so tense, you know ..." the intruder innocently commented honestly, clearly wondering what made the swordsman act in such loud and angry manner. This only succeeded in adding to Zoro's growing mount of steam. It also kindled Usopp's already huge fear, and Robin's personal amusement, along with Nami's shocked disbelief.
A hard stare drilled into the side of the green haired head, disturbing the swordsman thoughts as he realized who was staring at him like that. Surprisingly, it was Franky. It took a second for Zoro to realize why the cyborg was treating him like that. Of course. He smacked mentally himself. The shipwright wouldn't appreciate having Sunny decorated with fresh blood just in case he would rip redhead in two if it could be avoided. Truth to be told, two little redheads would be probably even worse, when just one proved to be more than enough.
Upon realizing that, another idea struck him hard. Luffy would be pretty pissed off if he harmed the intruder, given the fact that the redhead wasn't directly threatening or overly intimidating until now. Zoro remembered the beating he suffered from his captain and also a bit later from Nami at Whiskey Peak. Although it had been due to a misunderstanding of his actions, which later proved to be justified. Upon knowing that Luffy would probably find out this whole absurd theater as extremely amusing, Zoro decided to try calm himself down for now, pulling out sour grimaces all the way through that process inside his head. It made him secretly wonder if it was that red-headed pain in the ass's favorite past time to play with people's nerves like that.
"I'm waiting for you to take back your inappropriate, ten-against-one-bet that you made the moment you decided to point your sword at me," the redhead finally answered with genuine honesty and that annoying careless smile again "I'm not the one to take on such meaningless gambles like this one." he tilted his head to the side and watched, how it left most of the crew completely dumbfounded and shocked even more, if that was already possible. Whatever they had anticipated definitely wasn't anything like this. The feeling was like the redhead had just signed his own execution order by adding the last possible drop to the swordsman's already full goblet of patience.
The straw hat, that had been gliding down out of the sky for some time now finally landed; askew on top of the messed up red-haired sod.
Zoro's body instantly froze along with two other persons on board.
At the redhead's words, Luffy's eyes blew wide open, finally snapping the boy out from his slumbering state. It had been a long time since they had heard something very similar, and in one case even longer than that, but it was etched into their minds like carving on the stone. Luffy's head snapped up, seeing the still crouching redhead who now had his prized possession on top of those red locks.
"Shanks!" the startled yelp escaped from the rubberman's lips as his partially clouded mind suddenly offered him a not so different picture from the past. In his surprise he didn't even registered the partially surprised and partially confused look the redhead briefly shot him. None of which escaped the sharp eye of Robin. Luffy at last grasped what was going on upon seeing what was happening at the edge of Wado Ichimonji.
"Zoro!" This time it came off as more alarmed. Luffy locked his gaze with Zoro's in silent communication with him. Understanding what his captain was wishing for, the swordsman finally, yet reluctantly, retracted his blade. After seeing the intruder still squatting with that careless body language, he couldn't resist the urge of having the last word. Very slowly he directed the tip of Wado inside its sheath, pressing it carefully inside as metal ground against metal. All in an intimidating, warning manner.
'Next time you won't be so lucky.'
Green eye lit up with straightforward curiosity following those two brief clicks. The redhead menacingly flicked one of his own swords out with a thumb, deftly clicking it back into place. Their one-eyed glares met, the tension between them rising to unbearable levels, almost eliciting small sparks, as the corners of the redhead's lips tugged up into smirk. This made up for the undesired answer, making Zoro's eye twitch again upon realization that his actions were mistaken for a challenge. Or translated as challenge intentionally, which was more likely the case.
'That sounds like fun.'
Illustration: You are no fun ( jittuse dot deviantart dot com slash art/You-are-no-fun-377905637 )
Dividing that behemot of the text from before into two separate chapters looks much better I think.
Poor Zoro .. maybe he should take Mihawk's advices more to the heart ... *muhehehe*
Jitt