Thousand thanking letters to SadEcho for patient editing and beta reading :)
I do not own One Piece, just love to mess with characters in my own way.
Warnings: Minor foul language
Because of what happened, now they are forced to face the ultimatum. Which choice will Luffy pick up in the end?
The mutual sharing of intimidation, taunting, and teasing between Zoro and the uninvited guest was abruptly interrupted by a squeak from the rubber captain, who managed to return the atmosphere almost immediately back into a more normal state.
"My hat!" Luffy reached out with his arm, snatching the headpiece right off from the red hair, dusting it off before placing it back into its rightful place. After another few seconds filled with the completely dumbfounded expression of said redhead, and a few sighs coming from the crew, the situation began to develop further.
"So, now that everyone has calmed down, can we move back to business?" the redhead asked casually as if the whole ordeal until now had never happened, reacting to another change in atmosphere. "Where did I stop ..." A dark-skinned and weathered hand ran through the top of the red drying hair, messing it up in the progress "... Ah, I know. Two things: Why did you decided to maim my ship and who's in charge here?" the redhead demanded, his tone of voice clearly hinting that the owner won't let the matter go so simply, eliciting a snort of disgust from Zoro.
Without a word, the majority of the strawhats hands pointed silently at Luffy, except for one when ...
*SMACK!* The rubber head hit the lawn hard and snapped back to its place with one huge bump at the back and another forming on the forehead.
"Naaamiiii! What was that for?" The rubber captain began to complain about being hit. Red eyebrows shot upwards in complete shock, not only at the unusual scene of whatever was happening, but also at how the woman managed to snap the other two devil fruit's users out of their exhausted states like a flick of the fingers.
"Never again will you ask me if you can steer the Sunny... or I'll raise your debt so high that even your bounty won't cover for it anytime soon!" the enraged navigator sputtered with rage. Her trembling fists hinted that it was not the best idea to complain to her right now. Unless that person wanted to be indebted to her for the rest of their life and maybe even further. Or undergo a death of electrocution, personally delivered by her, on the spot, which was also one of the options.
"Hey, are you sure he's the captain?" the redhead asked uncertainly, turning his generally dumbfounded and suspicious face on the crew; not really getting the meaning behind the violent behavior towards said person. Judging from past experiences, this said something entirely else about a captain's position aboard the ship than what was just witnessed.
"Sure he's the captain! Our most idiotic, and crazy, captain in the whole Grand Line!" Nami snapped towards the daring redhead, who, slightly taken aback, held the dark-skinned hands up in defense, surprised at the proud undertone behind that seemingly angry answer.
"No offense miss, I was just asking ..."
Zoro's lip twitched with huge satisfaction. So even that daredevil was helpless in front of a raging Nami, he concluded, while feeling unbelievably smug inside. Leave it to sea witch when it comes to scaring the shit out of people.
"Well, that would clear the first point ..." the redhead sighed tiredly. "Really, let the beginner steer and you can expect the calamity." A chuckle escaped from his lips at the irony of the statement, though the rest of the bystanders probably didn't understand. Not yet. "Not that it was much different just a few years ago for me." the redhead added mentally, remembering his own past.
"I'm sowwwy... " Luffy incoherently mumbled an apology from around another half dozen of bumps and a new fat lip, "but it was all because of the bird who stole my hat ..." he tried to justify himself, knowing fully well that the part about not telling anyone about his little trip was solely due to his own guilt.
"Wait, a bird ... ?" The red-haired head rose up in attention, snapping out of his memories when the pieces began to fit together.
"Who is that?" Chopper asked cautiously, looking at the strange redheaded guest. He had gone to hide, startled by Nami's outburst, in the opposite direction, behind Brook again, who just shrugged in uncertainty.
"I don't know." the skeleton answered quietly, but looked apparently interested by the whole situation. "But someone really crazy! Yohohoho!" musician whispered in a low tone.
"Some weird freaking lunatic who dared to challenge and push Zoro to the point that he snapped." Usopp squeaked quietly, not wanting to drag any unwanted attention onto himself as he was carefully hiding behind Franky's impressive frame.
Chopper's eyes went even wider at such answer, that made the little doctor wonder why both of the participants were still fine and alive without any obvious injuries. Everyone knew more than well how wild, violent, and dangerous Zoro could be when properly stimulated.
"The owner of that boat we managed to break." Robin offered her explanation, looking amusingly interested. While being on her guard was still in place, overacting like before could only worsen, at least for now, the calm situation. Since the redhead wasn't acting openly hostile, even after being threatened with weapons and given the fact they did managed to destroy his vessel, it was a pure luck that their first encounter in the New World didn't turn into an all out war right from the start. Luffy's challenge to one of the Yonko, Big Mom aside from that, was a chapter for itself. Though Robin certainly didn't think low of her strawhat crew, she was enough of a realist to know that they weren't the strongest out in there in the New World, not yet. But on the other hand, how strong was that redhead when it came to fight? Was it all just a tough act before superior numbers?
"This is turning out to be super interesting." Franky quietly muttered. Even he was completely surprised at how the situation was developing and downright shocked by bold actions towards Zoro. Did they know each other? But deep down he was glad, that in the end the swordsman understood his wish. Sunny was meant as a ship of joy, not a ship of gore and dread.
"Yup. Around this big .." Luffy gestured, showing the approximate size with his hands," and gray and white."
"A falcon?" Zoro asked, raising one brow in an incredulous manner as he remembered the bird he saw not too long ago.
"Falcon like hell." the intruder face palmed, dragging his hand down as if wanting to erase his own face completely. "Magpie in disguise! I swear one day I'll use that kleptomaniac chicken as an emergency food supply!" the redhead suddenly snapped. "Magpie on oranges! How does that sound, eh?!" he screamed louder, looking more than just a little pissed off at something in the sky, from where came an aggrieved, high-pitched whistle that caused Chopper to heavily blush even under his thick fur.
"What's the matter, Chopper?" Usopp asked, still confused. "What did that bird said?" the sharpshooter asked curiously, concluding that from what he heard and could understand, only the bird could have caused the little doctor to blush like that.
"U-Uhm ..." stuttered the doctor slightly, blushing even more. "S-she said ..." Usopp cocked an eyebrow in anticipation.
"Yes?"
"G-go fu ... fuckyourself." Chopper blurted out, shocked by his own vocabulary, covering his mouth with hooves in shame. The only time he clung to profanities was during his happy-go-lucky dance when someone praised him, but this was a bit off scale for little reindeer.
"Uhh." Usopp slightly blushed too, dumbfounded. "Weird relationship," he muttered, looking at the pissed off redhead, who was currently shaking a free fist towards heaven, as if challenging a god. "Definitely weird."
"And that's what I get for trying to settle out a mess that I didn't even create. Thank god this time it was just for a hat." the intruder pointed out sarcastically, rubbing the bridge of his nose in apparent surrender. The redhead had still not forgotten any of the troubles previously caused by the same perpetrator, which had turned out much worse than this time.
"That's not 'just' a hat! That's my treasure!" Luffy immediately pouted, defending the status of his precious headpiece. "I made a promise with him!" The rubberman got lost in his thoughts for a moment, intently watching somewhere behind the straws.
"Okay, okay, sorry about that. My deepest and sincerest apologies for that goddamn chicken." The redhead finally leapt down from the railing and the crew tensed, but instead they saw the figure bowing in a gesture that could have been described as old-fashioned apology. At that moment the crew noticed the long, leather braided, and rolled whip that was hanging down from the redheads left hip. "Hey, that's really a lawn down there! That's cool!" the intruder bent down, showing the genuine surprise and attention span of a goldfish. As he continued staring at the fresh green grass underneath his bare feet, Nami just couldn't suppress the silent sweatdrop, while Robin covered her mouth, stiffing another giggle.
"It's okay." Luffy slid his hat forward, so the brim hid his eyes. "I'm sorry I destroyed your boat." he apologized, though less theatrically and in his usual way.
"Ship." the redhead corrected briefly and Luffy nodded that he understood. "With that, lets get to the second point ... what do I do with this mess." Saying that, the redhead stuck the sageos of his swords between his teeth and flicked out the ragged and faded red piece of cloth. The fabric looked like its best times had ended far too long ago. The redhead shook the cloth open, successfully splashing the nearby crew members in shower of little saltwater droplets, much to their distaste, before draping what was a plain red yukata over his shoulders, despite still being wet. Arms fluidly slid into the too wide sleeves with edges that apparently met the same unfortunate fate as the ends of the redhead's trousers. Like the sleeves, even the bottom line, reaching almost to the ankles, looked sadly tattered and shredded. Leaving the clothing wide open without tying it with anything, it overall underlined the impression of someone poor who couldn't even afford something better to wear. Though a certain bohemian eccentricity definitely couldn't be denied given the huge black crosshair embroidered over the upper back, similar to the smaller red one etched into the black shirt underneath around the same location.
Rustling of weapons filled the air, though this time no one from the strawhats dragged them out redhead chose to ostentatiously ignore them. Pulling the string out of his mouth, he tucked one of the swords at the right side of his sash, while letting the other one hanging freely in his left hand.
"At first, I originally wanted to ask you for wood for repairs and service from a shipwright, if you happened to have them, and also hitch a ride." the redhead began to explain in a casual, mildly assertive tone while crossing his arms before his chest. "However...that was before things turned out as they did ..." The reproachful he glare shot at the innocent looking falcon that was sitting on the upper rear yard rustled its feathers without any further interest about what was going on down there. "Right now, that doesn't sound quite ... right. Given the state my ship is currently in, I think I'll be satisfied with just hitching a ride. Take it or leave it." the redhead outright stated.
Looking at the dumbfounded expressions of the strawhats was more than a little unnerving. Especially given the fact that the deep silence that followed certainly didn't help the situation either. A mixture of "are you kidding", "what the hell are you talking about", "this can't be happening", and one particular "no way in the hell" looks slightly undermined the redhead's sovereignty. The pirate showed a brief moment of uncertainty, much to the satisfaction of the crew, especially a certain green-haired swordsman, who began to feel like looking forward to any kind of struggle the redhead would be put through, leaving him gleefully satisfied.
"Is there any problem with that?" came the honest, yet slightly careless, question towards Luffy who blank-faced stared at the redhead before tilting his head forward to hide his eyes behind the brim again.
"What makes you think that we will agree?" Zoro sneered towards the demanding intruder when his captain remained silent, catching the chance to make Redhead's life harder in payback.
"I'm afraid that won't depend on you, but on your captain." the redhead immediately threw back. "But given the fact that you are all caring yourselves around in an odd manner, and to such an extent that even the devil fruit's users jump straight into the sea to save another one, the stupidity and futility of such actions seem like a common occurrence."
"What does that have to do with anything?" the swordsman frowned, not really understanding such an answer. Caring about each other was as natural as breathing. But he couldn't deny the fact that sometimes certain members went to futile lengths in this matter. Still, he couldn't see how it could be used against them when no one was currently under the direct influence of the intruder.
"As I said earlier, I don't mind playing 'Simon says' and have some fun with you. But given the fact that there are at least four devil fruit users on board, if not more, in addition with the total count of two confirmed and considerably good swimmers, there might be more of you than that, then for now I believe that there are nine of you in total. I'm wondering how many of the rest of you, who didn't fall into any aforementioned category, will be able to effectively fight in the oncoming storm. Or even if you can survive, so to speak. At least two of you are needed to keep the anchors from drowning. That leaves six people out of nine. So there are only three of you at worst for me that might be able to oppose me; none left to fight me in worst variant for you. I think I can handle that, or at least manage, to get myself out of here alive in all possible scenarios."
The redhead appeared to be rather talkative when asked in a right way, much to the ever growing shock of the crew. With what the redhead just said, did that mean the whole ship was taken as a hostage? What happened to his peacefulness?
They had anticipated almost everything at this point, but definitely not this detailed description of such a tactic and the facts that managed to leave most of the more intelligent strawhats speechless once again. How many times had the redhead managed to accomplish that in their short time together now? On top of that, revealing the plan of attack to such a wide range of potential enemies just didn't make any sense in the slightest. Instead leaving them all feeling like complete idiots.
Or was this just another way to plainly demonstrate sovereignty and confidence? Or even straightforward shamelessness that showed how far the redhead had underestimated them?
Not thinking about the first or latter, with a sardonic tone, Zoro decided to push his luck a bit more, secretly hoping for a good chance to strike back when he wasn't allowed to speak through his sword.
"In such waves and a oncoming storm?" he returned the intruder's words back. "You will drown like an anchor too."
"Not really, it wouldn't be the first time I've had to fight like this." the intruder just shrugged it off like nothing, overlooking how the jaws of half crew literally hit the floor at such bold statement.
"I would really like to see that." the swordsman chuckled darkly as an answer. He could not deny the genuine honesty, but it was clearly bordering pure insanity at best and not only in his opinion. There was the possibility it was just overly high self-confidence. This or the complete insanity that was already synonymous with this weird entity.
Given the fact that the strawhats alone were more than often considered insane, even within their own crew, and in the short amount of time this particular encounter had dragged on, the redhead being marked as a complete lunatic by people like the strawhats was a feat in of itself.
"If you are unlucky enough you will. Though I must admit, it would be easier if I managed to claim this ship. But even my ambitions don't go that far when it comes to it." the redhead aimed for Zoro with those last words. Even bystanders could see the sparks literally forming between both participants as they wordlessly responded to each other's hidden taunts again.
"Still, your probably very carefully prepared plan is forgetting that we aren't in the water, but aboard our ship." Nami decided to step in, smirking as she exploited the obvious fatal flaw, making Usopp, Brook, Franky and Chopper wondering, how, for goodness sake, they managed to end this kind of debate.
She had witnessed only one person who could slice a ship into two, though Zoro could probably pull that off too now, if he wanted to. The green-haired swordsman was at least one whole size more in terms of plain muscles, though the redhead didn't appeared scrawny either, he was nowhere near Zoro's muscle mass. However, Hawkeye for example, certainly didn't look like the world's best bodybuilder either. Appearances could be very baffling. Even she had been considered as weak and not a threat. That was before she pulled out her magic of thunders. Around that time, enemies usually realized how badly they had evaluated her destructive potential. This could very easily be the same case.
"Didn't I said, that first thing the Simon will say will be destroy this ship first?" the redhead scratched his head, uncertain, but not fazed overall. "Sorry, I forgot. That would have to be the first thing to do apparently." the redhead revised as if discussing what to make for dinner. This highlighted that already apparent insanity even more. The feeling of complete idiocy already planted inside strawhat's consciousness grew dynamically. They began to feel like the redhead had made a sport out of deriding people like this, much like Zoro had experienced before.
"How many of you are there anyway?" Nami warily questioned. She finally decided to withdraw since one didn't need to be an outright genius to see the cruel truth behind that plan. Especially when laid out in such a simplified manner. The navigator certainly didn't want to take that risk, just in case the intruder wasn't bluffing. As impossible as it sounded, they were in The New World on The Grand Line, where anything could happen, straight impossible and crazy or not.
"Looks like he's alone." Sanji's voice reached from the upper deck. Just now everyone realized, that he was not present from the time he had almost set Zoro on fire with his chuckle. But that was just his style; investigating at his own danger and alone, as he proved in the Water Seven. No one was really surprised that much.
The cook stared hard at the redhead with a slightly frowned expression, playing with a cigarette between lips. Something about the redheaded male was a bit off, but he couldn't put his thumb on what the hell that was. It wasn't the "what the hell is that" feeling, but more like when you can't see just what is lying plainly right under your nose. That had been making him feel a bit uneasy from the moment he spotted this annoyance on the railing for the first time. His thoughts were interrupted by an all too familiar voice.
"The hell, were you were slacking off, idiot cook?" Zoro grunted out. It was far too long since their last verbal battle and that needed to be checked right away. And the win might kick up his wounded ego a bit, if he tried hard enough.
"I was checking on our back, you shitty ungrateful marimo." the cook spat out in the same manner. "Did you really think that he would be here alone, damn idiot?" he pointed out.
"Don't be too cocky, number seven. Did you actually find anything interesting, dartboard?"
"You should stop doing useless things for a change, shitty swordsman. If you don't count the fact that he's obviously here alone, then there's nothing else that you would ever understand with that peanut-sized brain of yours."
"I'm useful all the time, unlike you, Nosebleed-kun."
"Like hell, shitty marimo."
"Shut up, ero-cook."
"You could just ask me, I would have told you." the redhead casually and carelessly mixed into verbal battle before Nami could say something. Whether intentionally or not, the redhead had continued to literally wave a big red flag shamelessly right before Zoro's nose.
Said man shot him another death glare, hinting that he certainly had not forgetten about him. But unfortunately, that did not affect the intended target in the slightest.
"Though I'm not completely alone, when you take it one way or another. Don't forget that chicken up there." the redhead said as he pointed up at the rear mast. "Which reminds me that another one is on the way, though I don't know when exactly he will catch up with us." The intruder scratched his head again while pulling out the worried undertone.
"Another lunatic will show up?" Usopp whispered in terrified disbelief. It was already too much for him, but this new information completely floored him. Person. Sailing the Grand Line. In the New World. Alone. Or thee people if you counted the falcon and the other that was mentioned, not that it made much difference to him.
That much insanity was too impossible to even think about!
"Okay okay, cut the chatter! Back to the topic." the redhead decisively cut the talk. "So, captain, what will it be? All out war, or the deal?" he offered both hands, squatting at Luffy's level since the rubber man had not moved for the entire time, which was surprising, considering his hyperactive tendencies .
The captain looked up at the others extended hands with another blank-stare. Redhead's right one was empty, while in the left one the pirate held a sheathed sword; handle pointing towards the right palm and ready to be unsheathed at anytime. All gazes of the strawhat crew turned towards both of the crouched pirates, waiting for the answer intently. They were ready to draw out their weapons and attack at a moments notice should Luffy decide to attack.
"Fight!" flashed through Zoro's mind, his hand inching towards Shuusui's handle. On top of having some unsorted bills with that redheaded pain-in-the-ass from an earlier encounter, he felt the insatiable urge to get back at that ass for daring to sneak past all of his walls. This would be a great opportunity to sort out everything. Not mentioning that oh so appealing challenge and fun which he hoped the redhead would provide during the actual clash. Even if the redhead excelled at being obnoxious and annoying, Zoro's professional pride and instincts kicked in again. Not everyone who happened to fight with a sword was worth of Zoro's interest, but his instinct somewhat promised him that this might be too amusing to be left out. Especially after that octopus's failure at Fishman's Island. And during the fight he was sure to keep the redhead busy enough to to make him finally shut up.
"Deal, please, be it a deal!" were the ideas of Nami, as she gripped her Clima Tact tighter, just in case. They needed to be as fast as possible, because her instincts were screaming "Storm!" for some time now. She knew better than to underestimate them. If the redhead was strong enough to back up that threat, then being without their ship it would be unthinkable and leave them with little chance of survival on these harsh waters.
"Oh almighty God, please, I beg you, let it be a deal so we don't need to fight with that scary lunatic pirate!" Usopp prayed silently, his grip on Kuro Kabuto tightened so that his knuckles almost cracked. Through his past two years he had gained some courage, so he was not a complete coward anymore, but some things were still too much on him. Sometimes it felt like he was the only human in the strawhat crew full of monsters.
"Fight." Sanji smirked to himself with barely suppressed malice, tapping the tip of his shiny boot on the deck, remembering too clearly that the boat of this obnoxious, straight crazy, redhead was the cause behind the injury of his beloved Robin-chwan. Weird feeling aside, he was looking forward to sweet revenge and a lesson of good manners that he fully intended on teaching. But he might be a bit merciful in exchange for biting the Marimo in the ass in such an amusing manner earlier.
"Deal ... Luffy, please ..." Chopper plead inwardly, sharing Usopp's insecurity on top of his peaceful nature. But if Luffy ordered them to fight, even if he wasn't on the first line, he definitely would not let anyone be seriously wounded or, god forbid, killed! Even if that meant jumping straight into the sea again.
"I wonder, how this fight will turn out? That would be interesting to know." Robin mused for herself, smiling subtly. Thank goodness no one could hear her thoughts, since she was almost legendary inside the strawhat crew for her macabre presumptions and speculations the she told out in a straight and calm manner. This particular thought would have undermined the moral of even the most secure members. However, her morbid predictions never really tuned out to be true. But you couldn't be too sure on that every time.
"We can't let Sunny go down just like that! A deal would be better than a direct encounter for sure." Franky stated to himself. He worried for his child. The blue-haired shipwright just couldn't bear it if anyone would harm his nakama in any way, which also applied to the Sunny. An enraged cyborg was everything but nice. Silently he steeled himself for a possible clash.
"Yohohoho, maybe I should write a new piece, 'Silence before the storm'!" Brook chimed, preparing for the battle, in his thoughts that were constantly running towards composing music. His soul of an artist kept bugging him even in the afterlife.
Uneasy silence affected the musician in an interesting way. It was framed by the sound of wild waves, beating loudly towards the Sunny's hull, together with whistling wind in the sails that pounded hard into the ears of everyone present. During the course of the passionate debate, no one but Nami had noticed the storm coming. Right now, it was more than ready to hit in full force.
When Luffy put his hand of top of his hat, shifting it out of his eyes, still bearing that unreadable blank expression, everyone felt like an overly taunt string. Everyone knew that if Luffy choose to fight, they must be as fast as possible to minimize the possibility of any damage done to them. If the things turned sour, weapons needed to be prepared to strike, appendages ready to hit, abilities available for immediate use.
Luffy's dark brown eyes met with the green one that patiently waited in expectation for just a second. The choice had been made. One rubber hand inched dangerously close to both of the offerings. Nami subconsciously stiffed a breath and Usopp's knees even stopped their rattling for that second.
"Deal." The rubber palm firmly squeezed its opposite piece and both faces lit up with wide, understanding grins and pleasure, followed by many sighs of relief. And maybe two, just a liiiitle bit, disappointed grunts as the hand with the sword safely dropped down.
Blinding lighting from the sky, followed by deafening thunder confirmed the deal was struck.
Illustration: none planned for now
I hope you had at least half of the fun, while reading past two chapters, as I had during the writing. Looking at how they turned out in the end, I realized, that I'm really screwing with characters in a nasty manner ... naughty, naughty me! I'm beginning to pity the Strawhats for being unlucky to catch my attention :D.
Jitt