A couple of days later, Haley was home from the hospital, along with her new baby girl. Allison Penelope Scott had a shock of red hair on her head, and her eyes were still the non-color of a new born's eyes, but Nathan hoped they would turn brown like her mothers. Nathan insisted Allison looked nothing like him, so, in effect, she must look exactly like her mother, which he had been hoping for, but Haley insisted she saw a few features of Nathan in their newborn daughter. Peyton thought her newest neice was just adorable, no matter who she looked like.
Although, she could be just a bit biased, considering she was the Godmother. Peyton was honored to receive the title for the little girl, and she had spent a lot of time at the hospital, and then at the Naley house, so she could spend as much time as she could with her Goddaughter already. Brooke had been named Godmother to Brianna Elizabeth Scott because Haley had known how much Brooke had always wanted to be a Godmother to her daughter, and she hadn't been sure that she would have another girl.
Of course, Peyton hadn't minded, and she still didn't, because she was the little girl's real aunt anyway, and Brooke was only the aunt in name, but that didn't mean Peyton wasn't extremely pleased to be the Godmother anyway. She was Robert and William's Godmother as well, because Brooke was Godmother to all her girls, while Haley was Godmother to her three sons, and Brooke was also Godmother to James, but she liked being Godmother to a baby girl Scott. She enjoyed the prospect that Allison could have her mother's talent for singing and they could bond over that.
Currently, she was at the Naley house, and she was holding her two week old neice/Goddaughter while Haley took a moment to relax. "Thanks, so much for this, Peyton. I just need a moment to sit down, you know. It's been completely hectic since we got her home, with midnight feedings, and the like. I really appreciate this," Haley said, thanking Peyton profusely for probably the twentieth time. Haley looked so tired. She had barely slept since she had the baby, and Peyton was happy to help her, though she was getting tired of being thanked every few moments.
With a stern look sent to Haley, she looked back down at her Goddaughter again. "Tell Mommy that I love to take care of you, because I'm going to be the best Godmother ever. Yes I am, yes I am," she said in a baby voice. In her regular voice, she continued. "Seriously, Hales, it's no big deal. You know I don't mind helping you with her. I haven't had a baby in my house for sixteen years. It almost makes me want another one," she said, then she raked her eyes over Haley's haggard appearance. "Almost," she added.
Laughing, Haley leaned back into the couch, closing her eyes for a moment of much-needed rest. It didn't last long, though, before the front door opened, and they heard footsteps approaching. "Hey, where's my sister-in-law and my newborn neice?" a voice called, and Peyton closed her eyes as Haley opened hers, hoping it wasn't the guy she thought it was, but knowing that voice anywhere. Sure enough, it was Lucas who entered the room just moment's later. His eyes went to Peyton immediately, as she opened hers and avoided looking at him. "Oh, Peyton, you're here," he said, clearly surprised.
Doing her best to not show any reaction, Peyton just shrugged. "Of course I am. I'm here to spend some time with my Goddaughter and convince her mother to come out with us tonight, because she hasn't left the house since she had her daughter. Seriously, Hales, you have a babysitter lined up and everything. You can leave her alone for a couple of hours," she couldn't help but add. Haley said nothing, but looked subtly convinced. "Anyway, I have to run. I have things to do at Tric," she said, giving Allison a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, Ally," she said sweetly, handing the baby back to her mother. "See you, Hales," she added casually, making a bee-line for the front door.
His eyes on Peyton, Lucas followed her. "Peyton, wait, please," he called. She stopped, but she didn't turn to face him. "Can we talk, please?" he asked, and she slowly turned around. He figured that was as good as it was going to get. "I just want to know where your head is at. It's been two weeks already, but judging from your reaction to my presence, you're not sure," he answered his own question while Peyton stayed silent. "Listen, don't leave because of me. I just need to have a quick word with Nathan, then I'm leaving," he said to her.
Shaking her head, she took a step back. "No, it's cool, I needed to go anyway. I'll just..." she was going to add 'see you later,' to that, but, if she had her way, she wouldn't. So she didn't finish her statement. She just turned and left the house, heading straight for her car without looking back. Lucas watched her go, until he could no longer see her car. Peyton didn't drive far, though, before she stopped, pulling over to the side of the road and parking her car. Her emotions were confusing her. She had wanted to throw herself into his arms when she saw him, but at the same time, she still wanted to hate him for hurting her the way she had.
Seeing him was just confusing. It had made her heart race, like it used to, and a part of her had really wanted to jump him, then the more rational side of her had held her back. If she got back together with him-well, actually, the proper word was when, if she was being honest with herself-she didn't want it to be about sex, or anything physical. She wanted to be with him because she was emotionally ready to give her heart back to him, and while her libido was practically demanding she be with him again, she wasn't sure her heart was ready, and so she was confused about how to feel when she saw him-how to act around him.
Wanting to get out of there before Lucas walked by-because she knew he hadn't driven, because his car hadn't been there, so he had to have walked-Peyton started driving, just in time to get a text from Brooke, telling her to head over to Tric. With a little trepidition, worried that Brooke would take one look at her and immediately know something had happened, Peyton headed in the direction of Tric, deciding she definitely needed this evening out at the night club to clear her head. She wanted to be with Lucas again, of course she did, but she needed to be sure of his feelings first, and, more than that, she needed him to be sure of his feelings.
As soon as she arrived at Tric, she saw Brooke's car, glad that she was already there. She wanted to talk to her best friend and finally be honest with her, because she hadn't told her anything about what she was feeling towards Lucas; she hadn't even told Brooke that Julian had broken up with her, or anyone really. She also wantedt to have a drink though. She knew that wouldn't clear her mind at all, but she really wanted a night away from her confusion, and right now she was feeling angry at Lucas for the feelings she was having. She went straight for her best friend first.
Because Brooke's back was to Peyton, Owen reached over and tapped Brooke's arm before pointing her in Peyton's direction. The blonde wasn't really mad at Brooke, though she imagined she must look it as she stalked over. She just really needed to confess to her best friend what had happened. She stalked through the crowd to Brooke and grabbed her arm before yanking her away from everyone else, without so much as a word to anyone. Brooke looked mildly surprised by her attitude, and amused as well. "Geez, P. Sawyer, what crawled up your ass and died?" she teased, cocking an eyebrow at her best friend.
Not amused one bit, Peyton crossed her arms over her chest, and signaled for the bartender to bring her a shot of vodka. Peyton's alcohol of choice when drinking shots was something along the lines of schnapps. She hadn't liked doing shots of hard alcohol for a long time, but today she needed something stronger. She downed a shot and then another before telling the bartender to leave the bottle. Brooke was still eying her, wondering what had made her best friend wig out so badly. "I'm in love with him," Peyton finally said, turning to pour herself another shot.
This did surprise Brooke. Her jaw dropped open and she had to ask for clarification, just to be sure. Peyton turned back to Brooke sharply, sending her a sarcastic glare. "The frickin' Easter Bunny," she snarked, downing the shot she had just poured, taking her total up to three in the same amount of minutes. "Lucas Scott, of course. Who the hell else would I be in love with?" she said in a quite nasty tone of voice as she pinned her glare on Brooke again, wondering how Brooke could even ask that question.
Hiding her laughter, because she knew it would do nothing more than aggrivate the already beyond pissed Peyton, Brooke didn't hesitate before replying back. "Well, I was kind of hoping you meant Julian, because at least that would be unsuspected," she retorted, wondering if Peyton was more pissed at herself for what she was feeling, or at Lucas, for making her feel it. She knew that would wear off soon enough though. Peyton shot her a look that was pure venon, but turned to the bottle in her hand instead of saying anything.
The brunette wasn't done, though. She grabbed the bottle from Peyton, forcing her best friend to face reality instead of hiding behind a bottle. She had to admit the whole situation was somewhat amusing, though, especially considering what she knew. She really had to force herself to be serious as she took in Peyton's expression. It would be easier if she was dealing with the weepy Peyton, instead of pissed off Peyton, because pissed off Peyton was most stubborn, but she was going to force her best friend to listen. "Of course you're in love with Lucas, sweetie. We all knew it, and it's about time the two of you realize it again yourselves," she could tell Peyton wasn't listening.
Grabbing for the bottle, Peyton refused to listen to her friends words. Not because she knew they weren't true, but because she didn't want them to be. She wanted to be able to hate Lucas for scorning her, but she had never been able to hate Lucas. She had never been able to do anything but love Lucas, and Brooke knew that as well as she did. Brooke set the bottle down and put her arm around Peyton's shoulders. "You had to face it sometime, Peyton, now tell me what happened today to make you face it," she coaxed, knowing something else was going on.
Sighing, Peyton realized Brooke knew her far to well to put this off. "Okay, fine," she all but growled before starting the story. "Julian left me two weeks ago, the day Haley had Allison. I went to the Rivercourt to draw. Lucas went to the Rivercourt to play basketball. We didn't talk, but we were both at the Rivercourt for a while and it was nice. No yelling, no fighting. Like I said, nice," she paused for a moment, smiling. "Then I tell him I still love him, he tries to kiss me, and I run off before he can," she finished, condensing the story as much as she can to annoy Brooke.
It took Brooke a moment to really catch up with everything Peyton said. Then she turned to sare sharply at Peyton. "What do you mean you left before he could kiss you? Peyton, you love him, he's madly in love with you. What the hell is the problem in that?" she asked, when she was able to get some words out. She couldn't believe how stupid her best friend was being. Yes, what Lucas had done was bad, but they loved each other. They should be able to work it out. She just wanted to see Peyton happy again.
It wasn't that simple, though. Peyton had always been slow to trust, and now that Lucas had betrayed her, she was going to be even slower to trust him again. "He slept with another woman, Brooke. He got her pregnant, and he left me. He broke my heart and I won't let him do it again. I won't allow myself to be hurt by him again," she had started yelling and she had to lower her voice again, because she was beginning to draw stares. "I just don't want to get hurt. I want to know that he truly means what he says. I want him to fight for me," she turned away to wipe at the tears that formed in her eyes.
The brunette looked away for a moment, because she knew what Peyton was talking about. She, too, remembered a time when she had wanted the same broody blond to fight for her. She only hoped Lucas would give it his all this time. "In his defense, he didn't leave you. You kicked him out before he could," she said, holding up her hands in surrender as Peyton looked over at her. "I know that's not what you want to hear, though, so I'll say this. If he loves you like I know he does, he'll fight for you, and Peyton, you've still got to be willing to open your heart to him sometime," she wrapped her arm around Peyton's shoulders.
A few moments later, the two were interrupted by Nathan and Haley, as the couple came over to check on their blonde friend, who had taken the opportunity to grab the bottle back from Brooke and pour herself another shot. "Hey, what's going on? You come over and grab Brooke, start drinking mercilessly, and now it looks like you're about to cry. What did my idiot brother-in-law do now?" Haley asked as she stepped up to Peyton's other side and Nathan stood behind her, also concerned for the blonde.
Scowling, because Brooke took her bottle again, and handed it to the bartender as he walked by, Peyton turned to Nathan and Haley. "He cheated on me, and he made another woman pregnant and he left me," she said, and Nathan and Haley shared a look, because that had all happened a long time ago. So they were wondering what was going on now, and Brooke just cocked her head towards Peyton, letting them know they should wait for the blonde to finish. "Worst of all, is he makes me love him still," she added, crossing her arms over her chest.
The couple shared a look like they wanted to laugh, because usually it was a good thing to love someone, but they knew where Peyton was coming from, so they managed to stay silent. At least until Peyton finished by telling them about the almost-kiss. "Wait, you told him you loved him, and then when he tried to kiss you, you ran?" Nathan asked, shocked amusement on his face. "That is so typical Peyton," he added with a laugh, which was appreciated by not one of the women around him, least of all Peyton.
All three women glared at him and he held up his hand in a 'what?' gesture. "What? You told him you loved him. It's natural for a guy to want to kiss the woman he loves, especially when she tells him she loves him. You had to know he was going to kiss you. And then you ran, like you ran in high school. Like you ran from his proposal the first time. Although, I guess he was running, but you did say no. You guys have to admit, both of you have a bad habit of running when things don't go your way," he finished.
Neither Brooke, nor Haley knew exactly what to say, because Nathan kind of had a point, and neither of them wanted to point that out and risk Peyton's wrath. The blonde, was staring at Nathan, a sort of awed look on her face, which turned angry fast. "You are such an asshole. Seriously," she said, sticking her tongue out at him childishly. "I really don't know why I'm your friend," she shook her head, still staring at him. She was only partly serious, and they all knew it, and Brooke and Haley were enjoying watching Nathan dig a hole for himself.
With the Scott smirk on his face, he lifted his shoulders carelessly. "You know you want me, Sawyer. You're just sore because you broke up with me and I was snatched up by my beautiful wife," he draped an arm over Haley's shoulders, and all three women were wondering where he was going with this. "It's okay, you can admit it. You only wanted Lucas because he's a Scott, and you couldn't have me," he was only joking, of course, but the absurdity of it got Peyton to laugh, which had been what he was going for.
All of them laughed at Nathan, actually. Peyton stepped back. "Oh, no, guys, I think I'm getting pushed away by Nathan's ginormous ego," she said, a faked surprised look on her face. She laughed as she reached over and whacked his arm, none too lightly, but, because he was a basketball player who kept in shape year-round, it didn't hurt him. She was grateful that she had her friends to make her laugh, though, and she decided that since she was already at Tric and drinking, she might as well stay and hang out with everyone.
It was Kareoke night at Tric, and Peyton froze as she heard the name that the announcer called out for the first singer. She looked at her three friends, wondering which one of them knew about this, so she could kill them. Haley and Nathan looked as surprised as her, and Brooke just grinned at her, waggling her fingers at her friend in a gesture that told Peyton that Brooke had planned this. She glared at her friend for a moment, before looking towards the stage, at Jake Jageilski, who was now standing there.
It had been years since she had seen Jake. She hadn't seen him since before Haley and Nathan's second wedding, and she remembered when he had sang his song for her, the song that he had written, 'Someday'. He was singing that again now, onstage, for Kareoke night, and it took her right back to that moment from oh-so-many years ago. She watched Jake as he sang, staring straight back at her, and she didn't even notice when Lucas entered Tric, but he saw her, and he saw how she was watching Jake, and he couldn't help but feel a little jealous.
As soon as Brooke saw Lucas, she drifted away from Peyton and Nathan and Haley and headed for the blond. His eyes were on Peyton, of course, but he did see her as she approached, and he began watching her warily. He wondered just what Peyton had told her. "So, what are you going to do?" she asked him, rolling her eyes when he just continued to stare at her as if he didn't know what she was talking about. "About Peyton. You have to fight for her Lucas. You can't just let her go. We all know you two are meant to be together, you just have to prove it to her that you know it now, and you'll never let her go again," she clarified.
For a moment he just continued to stare at her, as if he honestly didn't know. "Geez, Lucas, you are going to fight for her, aren't you? We all know how stupid you were letting her go, don't continue to be stupid by not doing anything now. You've got to prove to her that you're not going to break her heart. Prove to her that you've realized the mistake you made and you know that you can't live without her. Tell her that you never want to live without her again. Do something, because if you do nothing, and wait for her to trust you again, she's not going to. You'll only end up losing her," she said, before moving away from him.
Realizing that Brooke was right, Lucas decided to come up with a plan. He was going to make her trust him again if it was the last thing he did. He watched Peyton, who was watching Jake sing, and realized he had his work cut out for him. Lucas couldn't believe Jake was back in town, and he wondered if Jake was here to get Peyton back. If he was, Lucas didn't know what Peyton would do. She might just run from him and hide behind Jake, and he wasn't sure how to stop it. He knew he was going to have to do something big to get her back. He now only had to figure out what that something big would be.
A little while later, Peyton was sitting with Jake, in the middle of her family and friends. She had seen Lucas, but he had kept his distance so far, and she was kind of thankful for that. She was taking the time to get to know Jake again. Apparantly, because Jenny was in college and living her own life now, he decided it was time for him to get back to his old life, and his home had always been in Tree Hill. So he was finally moving back. He had also heard about Peyton's divorce and had offered his sympathies. Peyton hadn't wanted to linger on that particular topic, though.
The next person was announced, and Peyton's eyes widened as she watched him go onstage. She could not believe Lucas was up onstage, doing kareoke. She never would have expected it, ever. For a moment, she thought she was so drunk she was imagining things, but from the shocked faces of those around her, she knew she wasn't seeing or hearing things. The song that he chose to play was 'Another Try,' by Josh Turner. It was country, and Peyton was surprised that he knew it when he dedicated it to her. She listened to the lyrics as he sang them and she was touched by the gesture.
However, she was not touched enough to start trusting him again. Only because she was drunk, she got up on stage not long after him with a song of her own. The song she sang was 'Love Drunk,' by Boys Like Girls. She finished and nearly tripped off the stage, but she got the point she wanted across. Right now she was still tired of hurting because of him, and she didn't want to be hurt anymore. "Do you really mean that, Mom?" Ainsley asked when Peyton got off-stage, but she walked away before Peyton could come up with a response, so Peyton went to find Brooke, who was with Owen, Jake, Nathan and Haley.
The adults were sitting at one end of the bar, sipping alcoholic drinks-with the exception of Nathan and Owen, who were choosing to drink water-while the teenagers sat at the other end of the bar, drinking soda because of the bracelets on their wrists that labeled them underage. Peyton took a barstool, still thinking about what Ainsley said. Was she completely against the idea of ever being with Lucas again? Her heart was still hurting from the last time, but if he actually fought for her, would she turn him away? She wasn't entirely sure, and a part of her hated Lucas for making her love him so.
With Peyton still lost in thought, the other adults continued their conversation, at least until Lucas went to the stage again. He tapped the mic and began to speak, looking directly at Peyton. "I'd like to dedicate this song to my ex-wife," he said, causing Peyton's head to snap up at his voice. She met his eyes as he continued to speak. "I made a lot of mistakes, but I've never stopped loving you, and I'm willing to do anything to prove that to you, even if we have to start back at the beginning again. I will do anything to make you see that I'm never going to stop loving you, and I'll never hurt you again. I'm going to love you forever, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. It's you I want beside me when my dreams come true, and I don't want you to forget that," he said before he started singing the song 'For You I Will(Confidence)' by Teddy Geiger.
It was sweet, and the sentiment was nice, but Peyton couldn't stand to be watched, especially while she was thinking about his words. Her buzz was suddenly gone and she slipped off the stool and headed for the back parking lot. She didn't know what she was going to do. She did love Lucas still, but did he love her still? That was what she wasn't sure of. She wanted to be sure of the fact that he would always be there for her and never hurt her again, because if she allowed him to pick up the pieces of her heart that he broke, she didn't think she'd be able to stand it if he broke it again.
As she was getting in her car, the passenger side door opened and she was surprised to see Jake there, getting in next to her. "Are you sure you're okay to drive?" he asked her, and she just sent him a look, a classic Peyton look that said she was fine and she knew that wasn't what he was really here to say. "Listen, Peyton, I know Lucas hurt you, but maybe you should give him a second chance. It's hard losing you. It makes a guy realize just what he's lost, and if you really love him, then you shouldn't waste time not being together," he said.
For a moment, she focused on his words, 'It's hard losing you.' Like he was talking from experience. She suddenly wished, if only for a moment, that she had never left Savannah. Maybe she and Jake would still be happy now, if only she hadn't given up on him. She almost wished that she hadn't loved Lucas, but then she knew that she did love Lucas, with all her heart, and Jake would have never had her whole heart. As the memories of the past eighteen years went through her mind, and at the thought of her eight children, she realized she wouldn't change anything at all.
Still, though, no matter what he said, and no matter what the past was, she had control of her future. "What if he does it again, Jake? If I wasn't enough for him the first time, what makes you think I'll be enough for him the second time around? How do I know he really loves me as much as he says he does? I don't want to get hurt again. I won't get hurt again, and I won't put my kids though the second break-up of their parents. I have them to think about too, you know," she said, wishing she knew what the future would hold if she took Lucas back.
Nodding, he reached over and rubbed her back lightly. "You never know what's going to happen until it happens, Peyton. You have to go there to come back. You can't live your life by 'what if's?' If you love someone let them go, and if they come back, they were always yours and if they don't, they were never yours in the first place," he broke off at this point because she looked up at him with an incredulous look. "I could throw cliches at you all day. The point is, if you truly love him, don't hurt yourself more by being afraid to let him back in. You never know until you try," he added with a smile.
If only it were that simple. They both knew it wasn't, but there was one issue that Peyton had brought up that he couldn't help but reply to. "Don't you think your kids would love to have their parents back together? Isn't that the dream of every child of divorce? Besides, I'm sure that, more than anything, they want you happy, and if you're not happy without Lucas, they know that. You have do to what's best for you, and your children will always support you in your decisions," he said and she leaned over and rested her head on his chest as she continued to think. She was actually glad to have Jake for comfort. It made things a little bit more bearable.
A/N: I'm super sorry!! Seriously, I couldn't be sorrier. I hope y'all forgive me and still review this chapter. I hope you're still reading this. I've been horrible about updates, but this really isn't my fault. It was my internet this time. Not that it's an excuse, but still, I'm super duper sorry. This chapter was kind of a transition, just to introduce Jake into the fic, because I do have plans for him, and my plans for his storyline will elongate this fic, I hope, because I'm almost running out of ideas. This one might not make it that much longer, actually. Still no good Leyton, really, but they'll get together soon, I promise. I have a chapter written, either the next one, or the one after that, which will explain things from Lucas's point of view, because I think I have some people who are confused about Lindsey's role. That'll all be explained soon enough, I promise, so if I don't answer the questions you leave in reviews, it's because I know the answer will come up in an upcoming chapter. Anyway, please let me know what you think. I'm not going to promise a certain date for my next update, because I don't know when I'll be able to get to my friends computer again, but I'll try to update after finals, which are this week. Tell me if you like this chapter, or if you don't, or if you hate me for taking so long to update. Even if you want to talk about this weeks One Tree Hill, or something, just review, because I love every review I get and I really appreciate you guys for sticking with this fic while I've been so bad as an updater. Thanks.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. I also don't own any of the songs I used in this chapter, but you should listen to them. They're really good.