Another week passed during which Peyton avoided seeing Lucas every day, and continued to get closer to Jake. Jake hadn't made any kind of move on her, and she was glad to be just friends with him. Her label was thriving, and she was trying to spend as much time with the twins as she could, because they were leaving for Stanford and NYU in the fall. Madison was headed for California, while Kerri was going to New York and it was hard for Peyton to see her kids packing up and getting ready to leave.
On the other hand, Lucas hadn't left her alone. He was sending her gifts every day, and he emailed her a song every day that was supposed to be telling her how he felt about her. She had to admit, the songs were a nice touch. It was nice to connect with him over music again, and the songs he had chosen so far had gone a long way in softening her up to the idea of taking a chance on him again. The gifts were a nice touch, too. Each of them so far had a special connection to an important moment in their past. She would never admit it to anyone, but she was almost excited to get home and open the gift, and check her e-mail.
It was really disconcerting how even now, just a week after she'd proclaimed she wasn't ready to fall back into Lucas's arms and take him back, she wanted to do just that. He was diligently working at chipping away the wall she had put up, and he was actually managing to make a dent in it, and she wasn't even sure he knew what a difference just a week of presents and songs had made. With every gift she felt some of that pain being erroded away, because it let her know that the past eighteen years had meant something to him, that she had meant something to him.
Currently, though, she was spending the day with her daughters, shopping for stuff for each of their dorm rooms. They were leaving tonight, and Peyton had insisted on doing some last minute shopping before sending them off to live on their own. She had avoided the topic of them leaving all day, but as they loaded the bags in the car, she felt the sudden urge to burst out crying. She pulled Madison and Kerri into a tight hug, startling both of them, though they quickly began hugging her back. "Don't cry, Mom," Kerri said as she rubbed Peyton's back.
Composing herself, Peyton nodded as she pulled back, smiling sadly at her eldest daughters. Madison bit her lip as she looked between her mom and her twin sister. "We're not going to be gone forever, Mom," she said, trying to comfort herself as much as her mother. This would be the first time she would really be out on her own, without even her twin for comfort. They were really going to have to grow up now, and she wouldn't even have her boyfriend for comfort. The guy she had been with on-and-off since her sophomore year was going to a different college. It was enough to bring tears to her own eyes.
Before she knew it, Kerri was crying too, simply because her mom and sister were. The three of them group-hugged again as they all tried to gain control of their tears. It was quite a while before they managed to get in the car and head back to the house, though. By the time they made it to the house, the three of them had managed to stop the tears completely, and were trying to be positive. Peyton's daughter's were going to get to experience the world and explore their passions. She should be happy for them. She was, truly, but she just wished they could do their exploring and experiencing a little closer to home.
By the time they made it back to the house, everyone was already there, which had been part of Peyton's plan, of course, although the tears had not been forced, they had been helpful in keeping the twins away from the house longer to give everyone else a chance to set up. They looked at their mom upon seeing all the extra cars, and despite both of them needing to pack and ready themselves for their departure that evening, they were glad that their whole family would be there to send them off, and they were also secretly hoping their mom and dad would talk, maybe begin to work things out.
Both girls knew what their father had done, and neither of them were happy about it, but they both loved their dad, and they both knew that their mom loved their dad. They just wanted their mother to be truly happy again, and if that would happen with their father, so be it, just as long as he didn't hurt her again. Although, Madison was kind of rooting for Peyton to be with Jake, or anyone except her dad, because a part of her hated her father for destroying their family the first time. She didn't tell anyone that, though. It was something she would have to deal with, but, as long as Peyton didn't take Lucas back, she was going to put off dealing with it.
The girls really enjoyed spending their last day in Tree Hill with their family, even if they had to start packing in the middle of their party. The men helped them get all their stuff packed into two different moving vans, because they each paid to have their stuff driven to their respective colleges. They each were going to be driving their own way across country, though Kerri would be getting to hers first, because she was so much closer. While they were packing their stuff, Peyton was in her bedroom, checking her email and opening the most recent gift from Lucas.
The song was 'Sorry' by Buckcherry, and Peyton let it play while she opened the small box. Some of the gifts had been bigger than others, but everything so far had been significant to a moment in their relationship. He had sent her some of the confetti that had rained down on them when they won the state championship one day, and he had sent her the red tee-shirt that he had been wearing when they had first spoen another day. Today's box was small, and she opened it to find a concert ticked to a Cure concert they never got to go to.
With a smile, she put the ticket onto her vanity mirror, taping in the corner, in between a picture of her and Brooke, and a picture of her kids. She leaned back in the chair she was sitting in and smiled as she remembered the time spent with Lucas on that day. It had been their last day before she went to L.A, and they were supposed to go to the concert, but they had lost one of the tickets on the drive there, and so they had ended up parking in a nearby parking lot and listening to the music on the ouside, sitting on her car. It had been the best concert she'd ever not gone to.
When the song ended, she played it again, revelling in the message and the time she got to spend alone, thinking fondly of her relationship with Lucas. She knew it wouldn't be long before someone noticed her absense, and she really loved that he was apologizing. He had never really done that since he had screwed up, and while she knew he was sorry for what he had done, it was nice to actually hear the sentiment, even if it was only through a song. Plus, she loved the band Buckcherry.
Just like she imagined, soon enough someone is knocking on her door, interrupting her alone time. She turns off the song and closes her email and then calls for the person to enter. Ainsley slips the door open and slips into the room. She closes the door behind her, after asking her mom for a minute, and then settles onto the bed. Peyton waits for her to get to whatever she wants to talk about. "Mom, I know what Dad did is pretty bad, but, can you please be honest with me? Do you still love him? Do you want to get back together with him?" she asked, leveling her mom with a look.
For a moment, Peyton wants to run away from this conversation, but then she remembers that she told her kids she would talk to them about anything, if they asked her, so she forced herself to stay where she was. She knew Ainsley, maybe more than any of her other kids, hated what their father had done to her, and she didn't want that, not at all. 'Listen, baby, no matter what happens between me and your dad, he will always be you dad, okay. You can't be mad at him for what happened, because you only get one father," she said, moving to the bed as well and placing her hand in her daughters.
That wasn't what her daughter was looking for and so Peyton took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay, yes, I still love him, and I always will, okay. I don't know how to stop that. That doesn't mean we will get back together and that doesn't mean we won't. You have to understand, your father is the man I've loved since high school. He's always been the guy to save me, the one to make me happy, and the one who fixed my heart when I was broken," she said, thinking off all Lucas had done for her.
It wasn't just about that, though, and they both knew that. She sighed, thinking. "I can't get him out of my head," she admitted, with a humorless laugh. "I still feel him in my heart, and I know my heart will never be mine to give away again, because it'll always be his. So it's pretty much, I get back together with him, or never truly love anyone else, ang right now, I don't know which one I would prefer. Love isn't always enough, and I have to decide whether or not it is in this case," she said.
Ainsley took this moment to interrupt. "How can you ever trust him again? He broke your heart. You still cry at night sometimes, and I know you don't want us to know that, but we do," she said, leaning over and comforting her mom. "On the other hand, though, you guys have us, so you'll always be linked, no matter what," she was mainly talking to herself, but then she looked into her mom's eyes. "It's not about us. It's not about what anyone else thinks you should do, or even what you think is right. What do you feel, in your heart, that will make you happy again?" she asked.
There was silence as she thought about this. This was a question she had asked herself many times, and she still didn't know the true answer. "I have gone back and forth. I've fallen apart, as you know," she nudged Ainsley's shoulder, "and I've been angry, really angry," she thought about when she had destroyed a bunch of pictures of him. "Some days I want him back, and some days I don't give a damn," she said, apology in her eyes for the harsh use of the word. "I've felt it all, baby, and I guess when I figure out the answer to that question, is when I'll know what I'm going to do," she finished.
The two leaned on each other for a while, before there was another knock on the door. Ainsley stood, and looked back at her mother. "Listen, I'm going to support you with whatever you do, because you're my mother, and I want you to be happy, and I can speak for every one of your kids when I say that, because we kind of had a meeting about this, and I was selected as the one to come talk to you," she confessed, opening the door to find Sophia standing there. She left the room, leaving her mother and best friend alone.
While Ainsley and Peyton had their mother/daughter talk, Seth was in the front yard with the guys, who were just finishing up loading up Madison and Kerri's stuff in the respective moving vans. He approached his father. "Hey, Dad, do you got a minute?" he asked his father, running his hand over the back of his neck in a nervous habit he had picked up from Lucas, his other hand shoved into the pocket of his blue jeans. Lucas was amazed at how much Seth looked like him in that moment as he nodded. "Can we go to the backyard?" he added, looking around at all the people.
Confused, and wondering what this was all about, Lucas nodded, and the followed his son through the house and to the backyard, where they sat on the back porch next to each other. It had been a long time since Lucas had sat on the back porch with one of his kids, on the cusp of having a talk, and he relished the feeling. "So, what's on your mind, son? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" he asked, looking over at the blond, wondering if his kids really knew that. It was no secret most of them sided with Peyton.
Looking down at his hand, Seth took a moment to gather his thoughts. Ainsley had been elected to talk to their mother, see what she was feeling, and he had volunteered to talk to their father, to make sure his intentions were pure. "Listen, Dad, it's no secret that what you did to Mom was an asshole thing to do, and I know you're saying you wish you hadn't, but still, you did it. I guess I'm just kind of trying to figure out why," he said slowly, looking up at his father as he finished speaking.
Nodding, Lucas realized he should have known this was coming. He kind of wished that it would have just been a normal father/son conversation, about a girl, or a class or something, but he knew that he needed to have this talk. "Seth, I have always loved your mother, okay, and don't ever think I ever stopped. I never did, and I hope you, as well as her and all of your siblings know that. It's just, complicated, okay," he said, but even as he said that, he knew it was a cop out.
That wasn't right, and he continued before Seth could say something. "Your mother and I sacrificed our dreams for each other when we got married. She knew that was going to happen when I proposed in L.A, but she married me anyway, and maybe I should have listened to her. Maybe if I had listened to her then, and allowed things to stay the way they had been going, instead of forcing marriage onto her, then we would still be together now, and we wouldn't be having this conversation, but oh well, you can't worry about the what-if's, right?" he asked rhetorically.
Taking a deep breath, he delved into the heavy topics, knowing his son could take it. "Lately, meaning before the book deal, and affair, and everything, I guess I started feeling kind of resentful towards Peyton, becuase I never got to live my dream of becoming an author. So I sent my manuscript to the publishing company that had wanted to publish it the first time, hoping I would be as lucky the second time. I guess a part of me always felt that Peyton didn't support me in that decision, and that made me feel like she didn't believe in me," he cut himself off, realizing how he was sounding.
Just for confirmation, he looked over at Seth. "I'm not making excuses. There is nothing to excuse what I did, and no way to justify it. I guess I'm just telling you the reasons I felt I had," he said firmly, and Seth nodded. "Anyway, when I started editing with Lindsey, I felt that she did support me, and that, son, really does feel good, to have someone truly believe in you," he rubbed the back of his neck, like Seth had moments before. "It just happened, and then I knew I had to tell your mother, talk to her, but she kicked me out, with good reason," he trailed off, not wanting to get into details.
The pair stayed silent as Seth swallowed this information. "For the record, Dad, I don't condone what you did, or the pain you caused Mom, but I guess I can see it from your side a little better now," he said, sending his dad a smile, which Lucas returned. "Still, I understand it, but if Mom decides she doesn't want to be with you, I'll surpport her, because, while you'll always be my dad, I'm on her side in this," he said, finished with the conversation, but his mind now on some other issue.
Able to tell taht something was still up with his son, but unsure whether or not Seth would want to talk about it with him, he stayed seated on the porch, trying to figure out what to say. "Hey, son?" he asked, and Seth looked up. "If you have anything you need to talk about with me, I am still your dad, and I do know a thing or two about being in high school, even if I was in high school a long time ago," he joked, but there was a serious undertone to his comment that he meant. He wanted his sons to talk to him.
After a moment of hesitation, Seth decided it was okay to talk to his dad about this. "Okay, so I kind of have a girl problem, which I know you know a lot about," the jab was more teasing than anything, which Lucas was glad for. "I like this girl, who is admittedly, a little younger, but that's not the real problem. The problem is she's a close friend of one of my sisters, and she actually had a thing with one of my brothers. It was only a fling with them, but I don't know if he would be okay with me asking her out. I don't even know if she's interested in my like that," he admittted.
Lucas thought a moment, figuring easily who the girl was. "First of all, you're talking about Sophia, right?" he asked, and Seth looked surprised that Lucas had figured it out. "Well, for one, Sophia and Ainsley have been best friends for years, so there's the close relationship with your sister, and I also know that she had a fling with Ryan at the start of the summer," he said, and Seth was even more surprised that Lucas had known that. "Hey, the adults like to gossip, especially about what our kids get up to," he said, with a laugh.
Seth laughed too, but then waited for Lucas to continue. He wanted to hear what else his dad really had to say on the subject. "In all seriousness, tell Ryan how you feel first, and ask him how he feels about it. Then, if he gives the go-ahead, tell Sophia how you feel, but make sure you talk to Ryan first. I know a lot about fighting with brothers as well, and if you go behind his back and go out with her, it'll only cause problems you don't want to deal with," he said, remembering the times he and Nathan had fought.
A moment of consideration later, Seth nodded, and then did something that surprised both father and son. He gave his father a hug. "I do love you, Dad, even if you do screw up," he smirked the famous Scott smirk at his dad, and then stood. "I guess I'm going to talk to Ryan, then," he added before heading into the house to find his brother. Lucas watched him go, and he was really glad that he had gotten a chance to have a father/son moment in his son's life. It had been too long since the last one.
As Ainsley left Peyton's room, Sophia stood in the doorway, looking nervous. Peyton gestured for her to enter the rest of the way and close the door. Sophia did, and she slowly approached the bed, and hesitantly perched on the edge next to Peyton. Peyton was curious as to why she was so nervous. Sophia had never been nervous to talk to her before. "Hey, Soph, I'm your Godmother, remember, you can talk to me about anything. There's nothing you can't say to me," she assured the teenager.
Taking a deep breath, Sophia nodded. "Yeah, I know that, Aunt Peyton," she said, but it took her another moment before she relazed and got more comfortable on the bed. "Okay, I'm just going to tell you, because I need advice, and I don't feel right going to my mom, and I've always been able to talk to you about anything," she said, pausing again, before just blurting it out. "I think I like your son," she said quickly, and Peyton became confused, because, last she had heard, Sophia had been the one to end things with Ryan, not that Ryan had put up much of a fight. "No, not Ryan. Seth," she clarified.
This made more sense. At least, it made more sense why Sophia was so nervous. Sophia took another slow breath in and out before explaining more fully. "I've liked Seth for a while, actually, but I knew Ainsley wouldn't want me dating her brother. So I started that fling with Ryan, knowing it wouldn't go anywhere, and hoping that it would help me get over the feelings I've been developing for Seth. I know, that was wrong, but I kind of explained to Ryan when I boke up with him, and he said he understood," she said, because Peyton had been about to interrupt.
Nodding, Peyton waited for Sophia to go on. "Anyway, it didn't work. I still have feelings for Seth, and I'm pretty sure he'll never return my feelings, but I'm tired of not knowing, you know, and I'm tired of him not knowing, and Ainsley. I know she's going to hate me for it. She flipped out when I started that fling with Ryan, but you can't help who you like, can you?" she asked, sending her aunt a look, because she knew that Peyton still liked Lucas, even if she didn't want to.
Of course Peyton knew exactly what Sophia was talking about, and not just because of recent events, either. She had never been able to help feeling what she did for Lucas, and she had wanted to, ever since high school. "No, you're right. You can't help who you like. I couldn't help who I liked back in high school, and I still can't help it. So, I'm going to tell you this. Go talk to Ainsley, tell her everything you told me, and if she's really your best friend, she'll let you tell Seth how you feel," she suggested. "Hey, at least you know you won't be repeating history. It's not like she can like Seth and/or go after him," she couldn't help but add with a grin.
The joke went over Sophia's head and she crinkled her nose as she thought about that, then sent her aunt an 'You must be crazy,' look. She reached over and patted Peyton's leg. "Well, you are right about that," she said slowly, as if she were trying to placate a crazy person. Then she leaned over and hugged Peyton. "Thanks, Aunt Peyton, for your great, albeit a little weird, advice. I guess I better go find Ainsley now," she said as she stood and headed for the door, closing it behind her and leaving Peyton alone in the room again.
Once the moving vans had left, the twins took their time saying goodbye to their families, hugging everyone, lingering on their mom, and sharing tears with her, while telling her not to worry. They even each gave their dad a hug, and let him hold them for a minute. He was also sad about his babies leaving the nest. After they had said goodbye to everyone else, they took a few minutes to say goodby to each other. By then they were both in tears, and they got in their cars to drive away.
Standing in between Jake and Brooke, Peyton had one arm around each of them, as she tried to control her own tears. Brooke rubbed her back comfortingly, and Jake let her rest her head on his shoulder. Then they both muttered some kind of excuse, and walked away, and Peyton looked up to see Lucas approaching. She wanted to turn around and walk away, but he opened his arms, and she couldn't help but lean into them, letting him hug her. She really needed a good Lucas hug, no matter what she was feeling towards him right now.
With one hand on the back of her head, and the other arm wrapped around her back, Lucas held Peyton as she fought to stop crying. He kissed her curls and whispered comforting words to her, the type of soothing nonsense that one uses to make someone feel better. She pulled away and looked up at him, and he wiped her tears. "Peyton, it's their time to live their lives. That doesn't mean they're abondoning you, or they won't need you. They love you. It's just time for them to leave the nest. It's time for us to let them go," he said, staring in her eyes. "I love you," he suddenly added.
FLASHBACK
Jeke and Peyton are sitting on her couch, watching a movie, because she wanted to avoid what had been on her mind since the day Haley had gone into labor. He knew what she wanted to avoid, but he couldn't allow her to do it anymore. "Listen, I know we talked a couple days ago at Tric, but you were pretty drunk, so I'm assuming you either don't remember the conversation, or you still haven't decided what to do about Lucas," he said, taking the remote and pausing the movie.
Partially to avoid the topic, and partially just because she wanted to know, Peyton changed the subject. "Why are you here, Jake?" she asked, and he opened his mouth to give the reason he had been stating since he'd arrived. "No, I want the real reason. I know you didn't just come because Jenny's in college now and you wanted to get back to your roots. Tell me honestly. Why are you here? Is it because you want to get me back? Are you still in love with me?" she asked, because it had been on her mind since he had said those words at Tris. "'It's hard losing you.'
Heaving a deep sigh, Jake closed his mouth again. He wasn't sure what to say to her, and she could tell. "Peyton, it doesn't matter how I feel, because I know you're completely in love with Lucas, and you always will be. Sure, I waited for you to come back, but you never did, and I know it was the right thing, just like the right thing for you now is to be with Lucas again. I'm here to be your friend. I'm here because Brooke called me not too long ago, and told me about your problems, and I realized I wanted to be here for you," he said, reaching out to tuck a curl behind her ear.
For a moment, she just held his gaze, trying to decide what to believe. Then he opened his mouth again, and she knew that he was going to go back to the previous topic, so she cut him off. "I know I love him, and he loves me, sure, but what if love isn't enough, Jake? I mean I don't know if I can trust him again, with my heart. I loved him so much, I would have done anything for him, and it wasn't enough then. Why should I believe it could be enough now?" she asked, voicing her real fears.
To her surprise, Jake had a response ready. "You guys went through a hard time, but you're Lucas and Peyton. It was always destined that you would be together. Don't give up on that now. If you don't know if you're ready to trust him again, then take it slowly, I'm sure he won't mind. He'd do anything for you-"
With a loud snort, Peyton cut him off. "Oh, yeah, he'd do anything for me. You mean like cheating on me, and not fighting for me what I kicked him out of the house. Or, what about when he moved in with another woman, or got her pregnant with his child? Yeah, those things were really for me, Jake," she snarked, then felt bad for snapping at him. "I'm sorry, I just, I don't know what to do. I don't want to love him anymore, I just, I can't help it," she said, burying her face into her hands.
Unperturbed by her abrupt change of moods, Jake just rubbed her back comfortingly. "It's okay, Peyton, and it's that right there why you can't give up on him. You love him, no matter how much you want to hate him, you love him. Love is enough, okay. Just try starting over with him, if you don't want to rush things. He gave up a book deal for you, when you guys first got married. You both sacrificed a lot, maybe more than you should have, but now you've both reached for your dreams, and maybe now you're ready to be a couple again, and this time you'll be stronger than before," he told her.
After taking a moment to think about what Jake had said, Peyton picked up the remote again. "As nice a sentiment as that was, I'd really like to finish the movie," she said, about to turn back towards the screen, but something stopped her. "Thank you, Jake, and thanks for being my friend," she said, smiling at him. Then she tucked her legs beneath her on the couch, leaning over and resting her head on Jake's chest as she pushed play again on the remote. Jake tensed for a moment, but then relaxed beneath her, putting his arm on the back of the couch behind her.
END FLASHBACK
Upon hearing those three words coming from Lucas, Peyton's anger suddenly flared up and she stepped back further, completetly out of his reach. She remembered the conversation she had with Jake, but there were things-feelings-she needed to bring up with Lucas before they could be anything again. "I don't want you saying that to me," she said, shaking her head at him, wrapping her arms around hersef. "You can't mean it, not after what you did, and I don't want to hear it, because it doesn't help me," she continued.
Now the adults were trying to usher the children and teenagers inside, because they knew a long-awaited, much-needed confrontation was going to happen between Lucas and Peyton, and the younger ones didn't need to witness it. Peyton was passed noticing who was around, though. "I loved you, Lucas, so much, and you threw it away for someone else. I used to feel so close to you, now I don't know what was real and what wasn't. What happened, Lucas, did you change your mind? Well, I didn't. At least, I didn't before," she cut herself off for a moment, trying to control her emotions.
The tears still managed to slip down her cheeks as she looked back up at him, tears making her green eyes glisten. "I gave you everything I had, and it wasn't enough, and I just need to know why, Lucas. I mean, you broke my heart, the least you can do is tell me why. What did she have that I don't? Did you feel like you could talk to her? We used to talk about anything, but towards the end, we barely talked at all. And I have to admit, stupid me, I still didn't see this coming. So, can you just tell me, what did I do wrong, so I don't make the same mistake twice," she waited for a response.
It took everything Lucas had in him not to take her in his arms, and confess the whole truth. He had allowed her to believe what she did because he figured then she wouldn't be able to blame herself, yet she was still blaming herself. He hated himself for causing her the pain in her eyes, and wished he could lessen it, even a little bit, but he still couldn't tell her all of the truth, not without hurting her even more. "I'm so sorry, Peyton. It wasn't your fault, you have to believe me. It was nothing you did. I know you loved me, and I still did what I did. I was stupid, and I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me, but you can't blame yourself," he said, holding his hands in his pockets so he didn't reach out to her, because he knew she wouldn't receive it well.
Nodding slowly, Peyton turned to leave, done with the conversation. She just wanted all of it to go away. She really wanted to just be with Lucas again, but she didn't know if she had it in her. She glanced back at him, giving him one last chance to do anything, say anything that could make a difference. She wasn't sure what it was she wanted him to say, but she gave him a moment to say it. He didn't open his mouth, though, so she had to sadly turn away, heading back into her house.
Just as she turned away, he decided to take the advice someone had given him. He was going to give it one last fighting chance, and then, if she still turned him down, he was going to let her go. "Peyton, wait," he said, and she slowly turned to face him again. "I love you with all my heart, I've never stopped loving you, and I never will. I forgot that for a time, and I want to spend the rest of my life making that up to you. Will you please, please, just consider going on a date with me. We can start over, and maybe I'll get it right this time," he proposed.
Hesitant, Peyton just didn't know what to say. She once again remembered Jake's words, but it was different now. Yes, he had suggested she and Lucas just start over, but would that really change anything? She didn't want to try again and fail, and a part of her was tempted to just walk away and not look back at Lucas and his offer, but she knew that was the scorned side. Her heart told her to accept this second chance for them, because everyone deserves a second chance, but she wasn't sure she had the guts to.
As the silence stretched on, Lucas decided it was going to take a little more than that, and if she really wanted a romantic speech, he would give it to her, if it would get her back. "Peyton, I can still remember what you wore that first day we talked by the river," he started, and she finally met his gaze,. "You were all tortured artist that day. You were all punk-rocker chick with your black Ramones concert tee, and leather jacket, and, of course, your standard black converse, and I remember thinking how sexy your chickeny legs looking in those tight dark jeans," he paused, as if picturing her in his head.
Then he grew serious again, and looked back into her eyes. "More than that, though, I remember thinking, 'Hey, even though she's being a bitch today, this amazing woman is talking to me, and maybe one day, we'll be able to look back on this story and laugh as we tell our children about it.' Every word you said to me still rings in my head, and I can still remember the way you took my breath away, because you still take my breath away every time you look at me with those striking green eyes of yours," he paused, reaching over to wipe away the tears that still lingered on her cheeks.
Surprising the both of them, she didn't back away. She was mesmerized by his words. "I'm so stupid for not realizing it sooner, but it's true, Peyton, I can't live without you, and I'd like to think it's not so easy for you to live without me. We have so much time to figure out the rest of it. We can take things one step at a time, because I know we're meant to be, and in the end, nothing is going to change that. With us, Peyton, two really is better than one, and it always will be," he said confidently, taking another baby step closer to her.
Peyton still doesn't know what to say, or do, and it'd okay, because Lucas will go on for as long as necessary. "I know every look you have, from sarcastic, to blissed out happy. I know the way you roll your eyes when I compliment you, because you think you don't deserve it, and I can still remember the way you taste. Peyton, you take my breath away with one touch. You make my heart race, still. When I'm sitting around, thinking about all I've lost, all I have to do is close my eyes, and picture you, and I know we'll be together again one day, and that makes everything okay," he puts his hand on her cheek.
Letting her eyes drift closed, Peyton allows herself to be lost in the moment because, honestly, the words he's saying right now are pretty good. "You and me, Peyton, True Love Always. That's what we have, and I know no matter what we go through, or what happens, or how many guys you date while we're apart, none of it matters, because it's you, Peyton. It was you when we were in high school, and it's still you. Every book signing I went to this summer, I wanted it to be you that was next to me, and I know for the next book, if there's a next book, I'll want you then, too. You're my dream come true," he paused, as if realizing something.
Her eyes stayed closed as he took another step closed, brushing her hair out of her face and running his fingers through her curls. "I have a dream, Peyton, when I'm sleeping. In this dream, I go back to the first time I slept with Lindsey, and every time, every time Peyton, I come home to you, and we make up, and I never cheat on you, and we're happy. That's my dream, and I know I can't change the past, but if I could I would take that day back, every single time," he confessed. "That's my dream," he repeated.
That snaps her out of her dream-like state. "That's just a dream, Lucas, because you're right, you can't change the past, and you'll never be able to," she said, taking a step back again. She was with him, until he brought up Lindsey, because, no matter what he said now, he had still cheated on her. He had carried on an affair with another woman, even if he didn't want to be with that woman anymore, that didn't mean he could just come back to her and she would just accept him with open arms. "Sorry," she said, because she really was, and she turned away again.
It was then she realized that Haley, Nathan, Brooke and Jake were on the porch. She had assumed they had gone inside with everyone else. They were far enough away though, that they couldn't hear what Peyton and Lucas had said, at least, not when they weren't yelling. She brushed by Brooke and Jake, who tried to stop her, and went inside, slamming the door behind her. Haley watched Peyton disappear into the house, and then she looked at her best friend, who's heart was breaking all over again.
A/N: This is one of the longest chapters I think I've written, in a long time. I hope y'all enjoy it. Thanks for the reviews for last chapter. I hope you liked this. There was Leyton interaction, and even if it wasn't good, I promise it'll lead to something good later. The next chapter will be done with a lot of flashbacks, looking at things through Lucas's eyes. The truth will finally be revealed. I have a big surprise planned, and I hope y'all will enjoy it. Review this chapter, and I'll get it up even quicker.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything involved in One Tree Hill.