All of this drama between her best friend and his wife was really getting old. Haley was tired of Lucas working to win Peyton's affections, only to be shut down, making both of them unhappy. She had initially promised herself that she wouldn't get involved, because it was between Lucas and Peyton, but there were things that Lucas obviously wasn't telling Peyton, so she had to be the one to tell Peyton the whole truth, because if there was one thing that Peyton deserved, it was the truth.
So she headed over to Peyton after Peyton had turned Lucas down. She knew that Peyton had gone for one of the twins bedrooms, because they had left so recently, so that was where she sought out the blonde. It turned out she was right, and she found Peyton in Kerri's room. She entered slowly and sat on the bed next to Peyton, who was sitting with her back against the headboard, clutching the teddy bear that Kerri had slept with for so many years tight to her chest. "Peyton, I think it's about time you learn the whole truth. Beginning with how it all started," she said before delving into her memories.
FLASHBACK
Lately it had become a regular thing to find Lucas at her house after practice. She wasn't sure when he had started spending more time at her house than his own, but her best guess was it had started gradually when he had sent his book back in to all the publishing houses. She could still remember the night he had come over to tell them that he had resubmitted his book so it could be edited, and that he and Peyton had gotten into a tiff over it. Her opinion of that first fight was that Peyton had been shocked, and Lucas had overexaggerated, but the fighting between them had continued since, which had resulted in him spending more time at her house.
Still, she could tell something was different about tonight. She had a feeling it was another fight, but she also believed it was probably worse in some way. So she sat him down on the couch to make her best friend talk to her. "An editor picked up my book today. It's going to get published," he said, staring off into space in a way that told her that wasn't the real news. She held her congratulations as she waited for him to continue. "It was the same editor who wanted to publish it last time. Lindsey," he said, still not looking at his best friend, or even smiling.
Gently, Haley asked him to tell her what was bothering him, because she knew something was. He should be happy because of the news he had just told her. "When I told Peyton, I could tell she got a little jealous over the idea of a woman as my editor. It seemed like something else was bothering her, though, so I asked her what the matter was. She then asked me if I was going to have time to edit a book and still coach. She asked what I was going to do about touring for the book. Innocent questions, I know, but something about them," he paused, remembering the fight that had happened after.
Avoiding Haley's gaze, he continued only after she gently asked him to keep going. "I didn't tell her this, but it feels like she's not being supportive of me. I'd support her in anything she wanted to do, and it just feel like she isn't 100% behind me with the whole book thing. We're supposed to be there for each other and I just feel like she doesn't believe in me," he stopped, realizing how much like a woman he sounded. He shook his head and finally looked at Haley with hollow, hurt-filled eyes. "Nevermind, it's nothing," he faked a smile and then got up, going to the backyard where Nathan and the kids were gathered.
END FLASHBACK
After that, he had never mentioned it again, but Haley could always tell every fight tore him apart a little more, and made him feel worse. "He felt like you weren't supporting him, Peyt, and, even more than that, that you didn't believe in him. You know, all he ever wanted was for you to be completely happy for him that his dream was finally coming true. He loved you, and you were always his number one dream, but he wanted his work out there, to be appreciated, and he always wanted your approval," Haley said, watching Peyton for reactions.
The blonde was good at keeping her emotions off of her face, but she saw the hurt in Peyton's eyes at the fact that she had hurt Lucas so. It was then that Haley realized that believing in Lucas had never been a problem of Peyton's. "It wasn't that I didn't support him, Haley, and you've got to believe me," she said. "I was just scared, I think, because even then, I was worried that he was publishing the book because I wasn't enough for him. It was my insecurities and stupidity that caused all this," she buried her face in her hands to hide her devastation.
Even though Peyton was trying to hide her emotions, Haley could still sense them and knew that her blonde friend was now blaming herself for the destruction of her marriage. She knew that it wasn't completely Peyton's fault, though. It wasn't like she had asked Lucas to cheat on her. "Don't do this, Peyton. Don't blame yourself. You didn't force him to cheat, he made that decision all on his own. You didn't want this," she said before delving into the next memory.
FLASHBACK
Entering her quiet house, Haley was surprised that no one was home, then she remembered where everyone was. Nathan had taken the boys overnight to a basketball game in Charlotte, and they had taken Brianna with them, giving Haley some time to relax in a quiet house. She had purposefully declined what could have been a whole family trip so she could stay home alone to de-stress, and because she had been feeling sick a lot lately. She was going to head upstairs to take a bath, and a pregnancy test-unbeknownst to Nathan-but she had to pass through the living room first.
The form on the couch made her jump, until she realized it was Lucas sitting in her darkened living room-because she had stayed late at school, grading papers, and it was already dark outside-with the stench of alcohol so strong that she could smell it even in the doorway. She slowly walked around the couch, and it was the fact that he didn't even flinch at her appearance that told her how upset he was. Well, that, and the alcohol. She didn't have any in the house, so she knew he had to have been drinking quite a bit for him to give off so strong an odor of it.
Taking the empty bottle of vodka from his hand, she waited for a moment before speaking. "Lucas, how much have you had to drink? What happened? Is it Peyton, or one of the kids? Are they hurt? Was it Nathan or one of my kids? Lucas, you have to tell me what's wrong," she said, her questions coming in quick succession as she considered all the horrible possibilities, as mothers often do. He didn't move for a moment, and that frightened her. She took his jaw and forced him to look at her, hating the sight of his bloodshot eyes. "What happened?" she asked firmly.
Shaking his head out of her grasp, he finally admitted what had been plaguing him ever since it had happened. "I cheated on my wife, Haley. I slept with my editor," his voice was hollow, and there was a pain in it that the alcohol couldn't comfort or hide. She took him in her arms, cradling him as she would one of her kids, as his shoulders began to shake with the dry-sobs of someone truly horrified with oneself. "I never meant for it to come to this. I feel so horrible, like I betrayed my kids, and my wife. Especially my wife. How did this happen?" his voice cracked, but despite the amount of alcohol she knew he'd ingested, he didn't slur his words.
For a moment, Haley didn't know what to say. She was quite horrified herself. Her best friend, the guy she'd known since she was eight, had just cheated on his wife? There had to be some explanation, because this just didn't make sense. He had cheated on Brooke with Peyton, yes, but he had never, nor would he ever-at least, that had been Haley's opinion, before now-cheat on Peyton, because he loved her more than anything. He wouldn't do that to his kids either, not the Lucas Scott she knew.
Then again, Lucas had not been the man she'd seen him grow up into in a long time. Lately, before he started editing his book, he had turned bitter, hating himself for letting his dream die, and maybe some of that bitterness had turned into resentment towards Peyton, which might explain what had happened. Still, she would give her best friend the benefit of the doubt, and listen to what he had to say before judging him. "Tell me what happened, Lucas," she said softly, still holding on to him.
It took him a moment to gather his thoughts, and she almost thought he passed out, but then he pulled back and started speaking, staring at the empty vodka bottle she had set on the table. "Tonight we finished editing the first half of the book. Lindsey thought it was a cause for celebration and she brought out some champagne, but my first instinct was to call Peyton," he paused, his eyes fluttering closed as he remembered the phone call. Haley had to wait as patiently for him to go on.
Another moment passed, and she had to really resist the urge to ask him to continue, but his eyes opened again as his mouth did. "The phone call ended in another fight, and so I decided a couple of drinks with Lindsey couldn't hurt. Really, I couldn't have cared less if she was there or not, but she supported me completely, so I took her with me to the bar. I drank a lot," he admitted, and Haley could believe that. She had personally never seen him this drunk before. She didn't even know if he had ever been this drunk before.
Not noticing her nod of agreement, and the way she crinkled her nose at his stench, Lucas went on. "Lindsey was there, and, like I said, she supported me, not to mention all the alcohol in my system. Plus, she's always liked me, though I've done my best to ignore it before tonight, and I've always felt a sense of attraction to her to," he admitted, looking like he hated himself for it. "Anyway, when she asked me back to her hotel room, we were both so drunk, that I said yes," his voice trailed off and a fresh round of dry sobs came up, until he started barfing.
Immediately running to the bathroom, he emptied his stomach of some of its contents into the toilet. Following in his wake, Haley stopped at the linen closet and pulled a rag out before making her way to the bathroom. She got it wet with some warm water from the sink and knelt by his side, rubbing it on the back of his neck, and then giving it to him to wipe his face when he finished with the vomiting. Then he leaned against the bathroom wall and tried to ignore the pounding that was now going on in his brain.
Haley wanted to tell him he didn't have to continue right now, but he did before she could. "When we got to the hotel room, she gave me more alcohol, and after that, I just blacked out. I don't know if it's because I don't want to remember, or I just had too much to drink, but the next thing I remember, Lindsey and I were lying in the bed together. I left, and went back to the bar, but I couldn't go in, so I bought the bottle of vodka and came back here, where I've been sitting on your couch ever since. I've ruined my marriage, Hales. I don't deserve my wife, or my kids, or anything. There is no coming back from this," he said, finally looking directly at her.
Scooting over to sit next to him, Haley wrapped her arm around his shoulders. She didn't hesitate to answer, because she knew he needed that. "Listen, Lucas, what you did was bad, there's no way to sugar coat that, but there is redemption for you, if you ask for it. Peyton can forgive you, if you ask her to, and you can forgive youself, in time. You're not a bad person, I know that. You just happen to have lost the person you used to be. Find him again Lucas, and, until then, I'll be by your side," she said, because she knew that was what he needed to hear.
It may have been what he needed to hear, but he wasn't going to listen to it. He shook his head firmly. "No, Peyton can't know about this, because, with the way we've been lately, it'll be the end of everything. I can't tell her, and you can't either. I have to put this behind me, finish my book, and then never speak to Lindsey again," he said, more afraid that he might be developing feelings for Lindsey than anything, but he wouldn't be telling Haley that any time soon, because that would mean admitting it.
Before Haley could protest, Lucas starting vomiting again, and not long after that he passed out. Haley set him up in the guest room, and then went to her own room. So much for a relaxing bath, or even just relaxing. She felt more stressed now than ever, and she didn't know what to do. Did she stand by her best friend or tell his wife, who was also her good friend, the truth? Well, her loyalty lay with Lucas first, but that didn't mean she had to support his decision. He had to tell Peyton, and she would convince him of that. Somehow.
END FLASHBACK
With a sigh, she looked at Peyton, who was about to interrupt. "I waited a couple days, then asked if he'd told you yet. He told me he wasn't going to. He could barely remember that night, and he wanted to pretend it didn't happen, in the hopes that it really wouldn't have happened. He needed to do that for you, and so he could keep working with Lindsey, though he kept his relationship with her purely platonic after that. He never wanted her, Peyton, he just wanted the support he thought she offered," Haley said, leaning over to grasp Peyton's hand.
This was almost making Peyton feel better, but Haley wasn't done yet. "When he found out she was pregnant, that was when he knew he couldn't make this go away, that he would have to face it no matter what. He told me," she paused, and then decided to just delve into the next memory, instead of trying to paraphrase Lucas's words. "Well, I guess I'll just tell you the whole thing," she said, trying to offer a helpful smile, but knowing it ended up more like a grimace.
FLASHBACK
Once again, Lucas was at her house, drunk. Haley was beginning to wonder if he was going to make a habit of it, but then, it seemed he already had. She wished that this bad habit had never startted, but she heaved a sigh and sat next to him on her back porch swing anyway, because he was her best friend and she was going to be there for him. He spoke before she could. "Well, I have good news and bad news, what do you want to hear first?" he asked drunkenly, and she took the beer bottle from his hand and set it down on the floor where he couldn't reach it.
For a moment, Lucas opened his mouth to protest, but then he seemed to think it over, and he closed his mouth again. "My book is finally finished being edited. Lindsey left it in the office, with a note on it, today," he paused, shaking his head thoughtfully. "The note said she's pregnant," he said, grabbing another beer from the six-pack he had sitting at his feet, which she hadn't noticed. "This is all my fault, I know, but I thought that with my book finally ready for print, I would be able to get things back to normal with me and Peyton again," he added bitterly as he popped the cap.
Instead of immediately responding, she grabbed the beer from him before he could move it to his lips. "Hey, I know I talked to you about this before, and last time it turned out I wasn't pregnant, but I am still trying, and I won't bring a baby into the world with a drunken uncle. You're better than that, Lucas Scott," she said, meaning more than just the drinking habit he had picked up. He started to protest, but she cut him off. "Just because you've made mistakes, doesn't mean you can't right them. You have a good heart, Lucas," she said, "and I mean that figuratively, considering the HCM," she added.
The teasing didn't affect him. He held his face in his hands and cried. "I wish I could go back, Haley, more than anything, I wish that. I don't want to be with Lindsey, or this baby, but I won't be Dan," he paused. "Peyton's going to hate me, and she should. I want her to. That's why I can never tell her the real truth. I don't deserve her forgiveness, and, given the kind heart she has, she'll give it if she knows the truth. If she kicks me out, Haley, can I stay here?" he asked, looking over at his best friend.
END FLASHBACK
Peyton interrupted, saying she knew about Lucas's love nest with Lindsey, indicating that she thought Haley was lying. "Hey, Peyton, I swear to you, I am being completely honest. Yes, he rented the apartment, but most of the time, except during his weekends with the kids, it was lived in only by Lindsey. He wanted you to think he stayed with her because he knew it would make it easier for you to hate him, but he stayed here when he didn't have the kids. I let him in through the back door every night, and he slept in the guest room. None of the kids knew. No one knew but me, really," she said, honestly.
Taking a moment to study her good friend, Peyton finally seemed to decide that Haley was telling the truth. "I would have forgiven him, if he had been hoenst. We could have been together now. After all the lies, though, I don't know. Especially not since he did sleep with her, whether he remembers it or not," she noticed the guilty look on Haley's face. "Don't tell me he didn't actually sleep with her. Why would he keep this from me? Why all the lies?" she asked, in disbelief.
FLASHBACK
Ever since Lucas had signed the divorce papers, he had been depressed, and Haley didn't know what to do for her best friend. She kept on telling him to just tell Peyton the truth, but he kept insisting that it was better for Peyton this way. Haley had to keep herself from getting involved. Lucas had kept off the bottle though, ever since she had told him she was pregnant again, and he had told her that he would be better, for his youngest neice or nephew. Which was why she was surprised to find him sitting on her couch with a beer in hand.
Disappointed, she smacked him in the back of the head and, when he was distracted, grabbed the beer from him. He looked up at her, and the despair on his face almost made her give it back. Almost. She sat down on the couch next to him instead. "Lindsey drugged me. She roofied my drink when we made it back to the hotel. I passed out before we did anything, and she's not pregnant with my baby. She never was, because, for one, we never slept together, and for two, she hasn't actually been pregnant for a few months now," he admitted.
Shocked, Haley sank back into the couch, almost tempted to tip the bottle back herself, but the thought of her baby stopped her, and she set the bottle down on the coffee table instead. Then she turned to her best friend and pulled him into a hug. She hugged him for a long time, and then pulled back and asked for the full story. "Well, it started like this. Apparantly, Lindsey fell in love with me when she read my book the first time, and she always wondered what would have happened," he began the story.
As Lucas spoke, he eyed the bottle on the table. "When I sent the manuscript back in, she figured it was fate, and spent the whole time trying to seduce me, while I thought she was being a friend. When she finally managed to get me drunk, I still didn't want her, so she drugged me, but she couldn't take advantage of me, or so she said, but that didn't mean she couldn't let me think we had slept together. She had a one-night stand, and then figured out she was pregnant. She figured this was the one way she could have me, even if the baby was in no way mine," he added bitterly.
It appalled Haley how low this woman would sink to get a man who was obviously in love with another woman. "A couple months later, she miscarried, and she knew I would cease to have any contact with her if I knew. So she pretended to still be pregnant, hoping that with enough time, I would fall in love with her. I didn't, and she realized that, and today she decided to tell me the whole truth, because she said she couldn't live the lies anymore," he finished finally, desperately wanting to take a drink, but holding back.
Eying the bottle herself, and then looking at her best friend, Haley pushed the bottle towards him. "Okay, you can have it, but this is the last. You definitely deserve it after this," she teased, only half-joking. He declined, much to her surprise. "Look, Lucas, this is great, isn't it? Now you can be done with Lindsey for good, and get Peyton back. You didn't cheat on her, and you don't have another child. Be honest with her, finally, and you guys can get back together," she said earnestly.
Shaking his head, Lucas reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. "No, Hales, I'm in too deep with my web of lies. I can't tell her the complete truth now, but I can tell her that there isn't a baby, and there hasn't been for a while, and I'm going to try to win her back. I need Peyton. I'm miserable without her, and our kids, and I don't want to live without them anymore. I don't think I can. I'll win her back, someway," he said, determination burning in his eyes.
END FLASHBACK
Shaking her own head, Peyton could not believe this, but a part of her could. She knew that Lucas had been trying to protect her. He knew it would hurt her worse to know that this had been more her fault than she would like to admit, and that all of this happened for nothing. So he did what he thought would protect her, and he tried to get her back anyway. "I don't want to believe this, but it sounds so ridiculous, it has to be real," she sighed, pausing. "I wish he would have just been honest with me in the beginning," she admitted.
Nodding in agreement, Haley put her arm around her friend's shoulder. "I felt so bad for not telling you the truth, every day I wanted to tell you, but it was Lucas's truth to tell. It wasn't my place. I didn't even tell Nathan, because I knew he would tell you the truth for sure, after beating Lucas's ass even more. I told him the whole time to tell you, but I think part of him was scared you still wouldn't want him. I can tell you this, though, every single day, he's never stopped loving you," the brunette said.
Leaning her head on Haley's shoulder, she took all of this in. She didn't know what to think anymore. Everything she had believe, every reason she had for the divorce, and not getting back together with Lucas, had just been thrown out of the window. She did have one question that she couldn't get out of her mind, though. "Hales," she asked, looking up at her friend. Haley waited for whatever Peyton had to say. "Why did you tell me now? I mean, I get why you didn't tell me throughout this whole time, so why now?" she asked.
After a moment of thinking over the answer, Haley just shrugged. "I'm tired of seeing the two of you hurting, and you deserve the truth, Peyton, and both of you deserve to be together. I just didn't want this dance between the two of you to go on anymore," she answered, not entirely sure that was the right answer, but that was all she could come up with. Peyton thought about it, then she seemed to accept that answer. She leaned over and hugged Haley, whispered a thanks in her ear, and then left the room, knowing what she needed to do.
A/N: So this was my flashback chapter and I hope y'all understand everything now. It's not really confusing to me, but I know a writer's mind is different than the readers in regards to a specific fiction. So, let me know if you have any questions, and I will do my best to answer them.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.