AN:/Wow, finally a new chapter! Sorry for the delay, but exams got in the way. Ah that rhymed, didn't it XD I'm so cool...
Haha anyway, CHAPTER 37! You might not be happy with this one, but it had to be done...sorrrrry
The night went worse than James had thought possible.
Remus had been moody before the transformation, so the wolf was practically hysterical.
Sirius was in a strange mood, distracted. He hadn't been paying attention to Remus, and had earned a nasty looking scratch on his arm because of it. He then retreated to the shack, no doubt crawling up and having a nice little nap.
Then Peter, who usually helped a little by running around the wolf's feet and confusing it, claimed he'd eaten too much at dinner and felt sick. He had stayed hidden safely behind a rock for almost the entire night.
So James felt like he had had to keep Remus out of trouble all by himself; playing and kicking and chasing and fighting all night long.
And now, as he lay collapsed on his bed, he was exhausted and sore and annoyed. Sirius and Peter shouldn't of left him to do all of the work. When they decided to become Animagus to help their friend, they'd agreed to do everything they could to keep him safe.
But it seemed James was the only one who remembered that.
Thoughts swam around in his head; the funeral was tomorrow. But he didn't feel scared or worried…perhaps he was just too tired to. Dimly, he realised that the Lycanthropy obviously hadn't passed on to him. That was good.
There was no time for any more logical thoughts. James was soon deeply asleep.
The next day, Lily didn't see any of the marauders around school, and it took her a moment to figure out why.
The funeral.
She felt almost annoyed that James hadn't come to see her before he left school, but then Lily reminded herself that she didn't want anything to happen with James.
Not yet, at least.
She hoped he was all right though. She knew he'd had a late night with the full moon and everything.
It would be hell, getting up and leaving school and facing all of those who suddenly acted like they knew him and knew what he was thinking when all James probably wanted to do was sleep.
Lily herself was having a rather uneventful Sunday. It was just after six o'clock. The weather was atrocious, rain splattering the paths and soaking anyone who dared to step outside. She was sat at a table in the common room, reading the Daily Prophet.
A frown was slowly forming on Lily's face, lines creasing her forehead.
It seemed the writers at the newspaper had given up trying to conceal the worrying happenings in the Wizarding World. Snarling faces of wanted witches and wizards lined the front page, offering a sizeable amount of gold for anyone with information on their whereabouts. There was an article about the increasing numbers of reported use of Unforgivable curses.
Times were changing. It was all finally happening. Everything Lily had been dreading and worse. She felt a feeling in her gut and realised it was fear. What if someone she knew was murdered? James's parents were gone already. For the first time, she wondered if anyone would come after James. Perhaps they wanted to kill off the entire family. Finish the job.
The thought made her feel sick.
Lily rested her head in her hands, staring down at the grains of wood. It was all too much to handle.
She suddenly felt scared for her parents, hundreds of miles away, blissfully unaware of the approaching terror. Lily knew it was unlikely that they would be in any danger, but it still made her shudder.
Not wanting to read anymore, Lily left the paper and stood up. She stretched her arms out, feeling anxious. Her breathing was becoming shakier.
She needed to calm down before she had a panic attack.
There was no one sitting by the fire, so she walked over and sat on her favourite chair. Lily closed her eyes and set her head on the armrest. The fire was warming the top of her head, and she counted to 10 in her head.
After calming down, Lily kept her eyes closed. She willed herself to fall asleep so she could forget everything for a little while.
"Lily!"
She felt herself being shaken awake. Lily opened her eyes and rubbed them, James and Sirius coming into focus above her.
"Oh…hey." She said thickly. "What time is it?"
She looked over the boy's shoulders and saw it was dark outside.
"About 9 I think." Said Sirius. He was wearing all black robes and a small smile.
Lily nodded, looking over at James, who was also dawned in black wizard robes. He'd obviously tried to comb his hair but it had failed miserably.
"Alright?" She asked them.
They both had slightly red eyes.
James nodded.
"Honestly, I'm fine."
Lily smiled.
"That's great."
She ran a hand through her hair and smoothed it down.
Sirius looked over his shoulder.
"Going to head up."
He turned and disappeared up the stairs.
Lily sat up, crossing her legs.
James sat down beside her and smiled his crooked smile. He put his arm over her shoulders and Lily stiffened.
He didn't notice.
After a moment of silence, James turned to look at her. Lily stared at her legs but he put his hand under her chin and tilted her face up. Lily felt herself shiver as he ran his hand up her face.
She stayed still, her hands clenched.
James leaned in. This wasn't what she wanted, was it? She'd said to Marlene that they should be friends first and not rush into anything. And friends don't kiss each other.
As he neared her face, so close that Lily could see the amber flecks in his hazel eyes, she turned away and moved back.
James froze.
"What's wrong?"
Lily sighed. "I'm sorry. I just…" She had no idea how to finish that sentence.
"You just what?" He said.
"I don't…I don't know, James."
"Don't know what?" Said James, his voice suddenly sounding anxious.
Lily looked down at her hands.
"This…us. I think…well, I want us to be…to be friends. Just friends."
James's mouth fell open.
"I was planning to tell you. I want to be your friend, James."
He stood up suddenly.
"What happened? Did you talk to anyone?"
Lily shook her head. "What? No. I just, to be honest; I don't really know you all that well. And I don't want to rush into anything."
There was a silence between them.
"Are you joking?" James said, his voice quiet. "I thought-"
"I know." Lily interrupted. "I-I changed my mind."
His face fell, lines creasing his forehead.
"What if I don't want to be your friend? Don't I get a say in this?"
"There's nothing to discuss. I'm sorry, okay?"
"I just had the most horrible day of my life, Lily. And I just kept thinking, at least you will be here when I get back. You got me through it. And now you're telling me this?!"
Lily felt her eyes tearing up.
"I know the timing isn't perfect…but-"
"You can't just snap your fingers and decide you don't like me anymore!"
His voice was rising. Already the occupants of the common room were looking over at them excitedly.
"Of course I like you, James. I'd love to be your friend."
James shook his head, his ears going red.
"Bloody unbelievable."
"I didn't think you'd make such a fuss!" Said Lily, trying to keep her voice steady. "We were never going out, were we?"
"I was going to ask you!" James shouted. He lowered his voice. "Right now actually. Was going to ask you to come to Hogsmeade on a proper date."
Lily looked down at his feet, unable to look into his eyes.
"I'm so sorry." She said, again. "Can't we be friends?"
James took a deep breath and shook his head. His back slumped.
"Why not?" Said Lily, the lump in her throat becoming more painful as she blinked the tears away.
James walked over to her in two big strides and kneeled down close.
"Because I think I'm in love with you." He whispered. This close, Lily could see that his eyes were glistening. "Please." He said, so quiet that only Lily could hear. "Don't do this, Lil's."
Lily felt a hot tear spill onto her cheek. She wanted so badly to just say okay. Agree and go to Hogsmeade. They'd probably have a wonderful time, as well. But she just couldn't.
It was all too fast!
"I…I'm sorry." She said for what felt like the fifteenth time.
James clenched his jaw.
He stood up and walked back a step.
"James!" She said, standing up. "Can't we just be friends?"
He scratched his forehead.
"I don't think so, Lily." His voice was so defeated that Lily wanted to take it all back.
Lily walked closer to him, but he stepped back.
"I guess," he said. "I guess that things will go back to normal."
Lily shook her head, tears falling freely now.
"No! I don't want that to happen." She grabbed his arm. "Don't make that happen."
James shrugged her off.
"This was your decision, Lily."
James turned his back on her and took a deep breath. He then walked over to the boy's stairs.
"James, please!" Lily shouted, nearly hysterical. How could she have screwed things up so badly? "Talk to me!"
James didn't look back. He walked on up the stairs.
Lily stood there, crying herself out. She was aware of the Gryffindors staring at her but couldn't care less. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut?