After Lucas dropped Peyton off, he went to meet Brooke, as she had requested in her note. He didn't plan on spending much time with her before going to pick up some groceries and then going back to Peyton's, to make sure she took a shower, and ate in a little while. He just was curious to see what Brooke wanted. He pulled up at the Rivercourt, as per Brooke's suggestion, and found her sitting on a bench, looking out at the river with a peaceful look on her face. She didn't move as he walked up to her and sat down.
The longer Brooke stayed silent, the more he wondered if she even realized he was there, or if she was so into her own world, she didn't notice him at all. Then she spoke, making him realize she had been aware of him all along. " I was an idiot, Lucas, and I'm sorry," she began, and he was sure he knew what was coming, but she didn't give him a chance to interrupt. "If I could take it all back, I would, at least, I think I would. It's hard to tell what I would do, even knowing what I know now," she said, still not looking at him.
This time he managed to get a word in before she could continue. "Listen, Brooke, I love you, and a part of me always will, but I just don't think I'm in love with you anymore. I don't feel the same way as I used to, and I don't have time for your mind games, when Peyton's on a ride straight to rock bottom, so can you get to the point, please, because I have other things to do," he didn't mean to be harsh, but the one thing he had always disliked, was Brooke's mind games.
Still, Brooke didn't look at him, even though she could feel him getting frustrated. She felt that he owed her this much. "We were going to get married here, Lucas. We were supposed to have our wedding, at sunset, staring over this river. I was supposed to get a gorgeous white dress, of Clothes over Bros design, of course, and we were supposed to declare our love for each other in front of our family and friends," she paused, and he wondered where she was going with this.
There was a tear rolling down Brooke's cheek, but it was on the side opposite Lucas, so he couldn't see it. "Then your precious Peyton gets in an accident, and I knew as soon as I got the phone call that you would jump to her rescue, like always. I've always loved Peyton, and that's the truth, but I've always been jealous of her too, at least since you came along, anyway, because I can see every time she's in trouble, you can't help but save her, and I always have to wonder, who's going to save me? I deserve someone who will never hesistate to save me, Lucas, not someone who's always saving another woman," she closed her eyes.
There was silence as Lucas tried to see things from Brooke's side. He realized how she must be feeling, but she opened her eyes and pierced him with a pain-filled look that touched him the the core and sent the words dying in his throat. "So, I'm giving you up, Lucas. I'm letting you save the girl you've always wanted, and I'm moving on. I'm leaving Tree Hill, and I'm going to let her have you, becuase I think you guys deserve each other, and I can finally admit that," she said, not in a mean way, but it was obvious she was hurting.
He had never wanted to hurt her, but that was what he always seemed to do. Before he could reach out to her, though, she shook her head, wiping away at her tears. "No, I'm not yours to save, Lucas, and I think it would be best if you get back to saving her, and leave me alone for a while. I need time to get past this. I'm moving to Savannah, to stay with a friend for a while, and I probably won't be back to Tree Hill for a long time, if I do come back. There are too many memories here, and I can't bear to be around them now," she stood off the bench, but he was still speechless.
For a moment she stood there, staring at the river, as if imprinting it into her memory for the last time, then she looked at him again, more composed than she had been. "I won't be seeing you, but I do hope you can fix things for Peyton. You're right about her downward spiral, and she probably won't make it out on her own. I only hope you can save her, and that she's still willing to be saved," she said before turning on her heel, not giving him a chance to say his goodbye.
It was almost a good thing, because he didn't know what to say to her anyway. He still believed that Brooke would change the world one day. He had believed that in high school, and from the way she had handled things just made him believe it all the more. She was a strong woman, and she was going to make one man very lucky one day. It just wouldn't be Lucas, and he really realized that right then. He stayed on the bench for a long time, thinking about Brooke, and knowing she had been right.
After a while his thoughts moved to the blonde, and he knew Brooke was right about that too. Lucas would never be able to let her go, and he felt bad for hurting Brooke so much, but he knew it was partly Brooke's fault as well, for refusing to see the truth, just like he did. He had never stopped thinking about Peyton over the years, wondering what was going on with her, but he trusted her with Jake, knowing that Jake was the only other person he could trust her with.
Except now he knew she didn't trust herself with Jake, and she needed Lucas to help her, even if she didn't realize it. He left the Rivercourt and went to pick up some groceries before heading back to her house, intent on cooking her some food, and nursing her back to health, no matter what it took. He was going to save her, and he didn't want to let her down. He had done that during their junior year, when he had chosen Brooke over her, and he didn't want to do that again.
When he got to her house, he walked in, the door being open like it always had been. He went to the living room, but all he found was the phone, off the hook, and that immediately set off his sensors. He called Peyton's name, getting no reply as he walked through the house, in the hallway, he saw some vomit on the floor, and he followed the trail, getting more worried by the moment as he called out her name again. He followed the trail to the downstairs bathroom, and opened the door slowly, afraid about what he'd find.
It took him a moment for the image to make sense in his mind, and he had to take in each piece of the puzzle separately before putting them together. He took note of the open medicine cabinet, the multiple open bottles of pills, all the different sized and shaped pills littering the sink and ground and, finally, Peyton, curled in the fetal position on the floor, looking like she wasn't even breathing.
As soon as the pieces fit together in his mind, he jumped into action, first kneeling by her and checking her pulse, putting his face next to hers, grateful when he felt a faint pulse and light, erratic puffs of breath hitting his cheek.. Then he grabbed up all the different pill bottles, shoving them in his pockets before lifting her up and running towards his car. He knew he promised not to take her to the hospital, but that was one promise he was going to have to break.
From the ER, once they had swept in and taken her away from him, Lucas called Haley and his mom, confessing what he imagined had happened, and admitting he had no idea what had been the final thing to push her over the edge. Haley, Nathan and Karen arrived right as the nurse was leaving, and he had to tell them that they had pumped Peyton's stomach and the doctor was going to come out and see him soon. He knew the questions would be coming, but right now what he needed was a hug from his mom.
After composing himself, he collapsed into a chair, Haley sitting on one side of him, while Karen sat on the other. He just couldn't believe this had happened, and he couldn't understand why she had done this. He also couldn't be sure she was okay until he saw it with his own eyes, so he was waiting on pins and needles for the doctor to come into the waiting room, so he could hear from the doctor himself that she was okay, and then beg to see her.
The doctor came out and four worried people were soon surrounding him, but it was Lucas whom he spoke to. "Do you know why she did this, Mr Scott?" he asked first, and Lucas shook his head, wishing he did know. He had already told them about the car accident and what he knew about what had happened since, but he also had said she had seemed mentally stable when he left her at home. "Well, we're going to have to keep her here on watch for at least 72 hours before we can let her go. She's still sleeping now, so we can only allow one person to go see her. The rest will have to wait until visiting hours tomorrow, which are from noon to eight at night," he said before leaving, promising to get a nurse to lead whoever was going back to Peyton's room.
The others agreed to allow Lucas to go back to Peyton's room, and promised they would be back tomorrow before leaving the hospital, just as a nurse came up to Lucas to lead him to Peyton's room. The sight of Peyton, looking sunken, with big black circles under her eyes, and lackluster hair and a pale complexion, made him renew his vow to himself. He was going to help her get through whatever she was going through, no matter what it took, and he wasn't going to abondon her again.
Sitting in the chair next to her bed, he stroked her hair, kissing her forehead. "Peyton, I don't know why you did it, but I never want you to feel whatever it is you were feeling when you felt the need to take your life again. I want to be here for you forever, and I was so scared when I saw you on the ground. I thought you were dead, and if you had been, a part of me would have died with you. I want to see you smile again, Peyton. I want to see your green eyes filled with the fire that used to be there, and I want to always be here for you. You can always talk to me, and I'm never going to stop saving you, as long as you let me. I guess I'm saying I love you, Peyton Sawyer. I'm in love with you, and I need you to hold on, okay?" he questioned, leaning over to kiss her forehead.
Of course, he wasn't expecting a response, so he was surprised when he pulled back, and saw a flash of green before her eyes closed again. There was no other movement and for a moment, he thought he had just been seeing things, that his desire to see those green eyes had caused him to imagine them, but then they drifted halfway open, meeting his gaze. "Really?" she could only rasp out the one word, because her throat was sore and dry from the stomach pumping, but he understood that she was asking for confirmation in what he'd just said.
Relief flooded him at the sight of her green eyes, and he nodded, taking her hand and bringing it to her lips. She lifted the corners of her mouth in the ghost of a smile, and her eyes drifted closed again. For the time being, she started to feel something other thatn complete and utter dispair. She felt a hope that, with Lucas's help, she could climb out of the darkness and start living again. She only hoped that her newfound hope didn't turn out to be unfounded. She wanted to be okay again, and she really wanted Lucas to be at her side.
As she drifted off into the land of the unconscious again, Lucas got more comfortable in the chair, planning to spend every hour she had to spend in the hospital with her, because he knew how much she hated the hospital. As he rested his hand on her stomach and his head resting on his other arm, he wondered if she would even remember waking up this time, if she would remember what he said to her, about her. He wondered if he wouldn't prefer it if she didn't remember all that he had said.
LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP
By the next day, Peyton was awake and eating solid foods. She was still hooked up to the IV, though, because she needed to build her strength. The doctors had decided that she could leave after two days of observation, only if she saw a counselor first, and the counselor said it was agreed to that, and she would be meeting with one the following morning. She was currently sitting up in bed, still looking weak an d pale, but considerably better. Lucas was next to her in a chair, and they were sitting in silence, neither one of them sure how to bring up the topic they knew they needed to talk about.
Finally, Lucas could stand the silence no more. "Peyton, I want you know you can talk to me about anything. I'm not here to judge you, I just want you to get better. I want to help you get better. You can't believe how hard it is for me to sit here, knowing there's nothing I can do to make things better for you, when I would do anything for you," he stopped himself from continuing because, upon awakening this morning, Peyton hadn't given any clue that she remembered what he said the first time she woke up.
Of course, the words were still echoing in Peyton's mind, three in particular, but she wasn't sure she could believe them, and she didn't want to give him a chance to take them back, so she wouldn't bring it up. She knew he meant what he had just said, and she reached over, looking at him. "Lucas, you really have no idea how much you are helping, just by being here," she paused, afraid to continue, but knowing she needed to. "I wasn't intended to kill myself. I just wanted the pain to go away," she broke off again, and Lucas scooted closer, waiting for her to speak.
Glad that he didn't interrupt, Lucas's presence gave Peyton the courage to go on. "When you dropped me off, I had a pounding headache. It was making me nausous, and I literally felt like my head was spliting in two. Before I could go take a couple aspirin, I got a phone call. It appears my dad's boat has gone missing again, and they found a body near where it was last seen. The body had a wallet on it, and in that wallet was my dad's ID. It's him, Lucas, he's gone, really truly gone," she began to cry.
Wanting to do more, Lucas moved to sit on the edge of her bed, wrapping her in his arms, but still saying nothing, because there was nothing to say. There was nothing to say to fix this, and he was sure she wouldn't believe it if he said it was going to be okay. "I guess I just felt like everything was being taken from me. First my daughter, then the home and life I've been living for the past five years. Even my car was taken in that accident, and you know what that Comet meant to me," she paused, knowing that wasn't the point, but she was stalling what she had to say next.
Rubbing her back, he waited for her to continue, wondering if he was going to find out what happened a week ago, when she laid on that couch and decided not to get up again. "Then, last week, Jake told me he wanted a divorce, following that by telling me that we were never married. Our who marriage wasn't real, and that hurt more than I thought it could. Then there was yesterday, and pile on the phone call about my dad, I just wanted my headache to go away, so I took some pain pills. I didn't mean to take so many, but I'm so tired of feeling pain," she sobbed into his chest.
It took Lucas a moment to think through what she said. He had to wrap his mind around the fact that she had Jake had never been legally married, before he could realize that she was talking about something else too. "Wait, what else happened?" he asked, and she blinked up at him, as if she had said too much, or she didn't know what he was talking about. "You said, 'Then there was yesterday,' and then added what happened to your dad, so what happened yesterday before the phone call?" he clarified, honestly curious. The only thing that he could think of that could have happened to her would be something involving him, because he was the only person in contact with her, as far as he knew.
Biting on her lip, she looked up at him, realizing the mistake she made. She hadn't meant to admit that to him, but then, she decided, he had admitted his feelings to her, she might as well do the same for him. "Okay, I have to admit, I was jealous of Brooke. I mean, here you were, helping me, but as soon as she leaves you a note to meet her, you drop me off at my house and go off to meet her. I guess I just kind of realized you'll always put her first, which is fine, you know, because you were engaged to her, of course," she tried to make it sound like she wasn't hurt by it.
There was a moment of silence. "I didn't know you saw that," he finally said, but she couldn't tell what he was thinking from that. If she could have, she would have gotten off the bed and turned so he couldn't see her face, but as it was, all she could do was look down at her hands. "Peyton," he said, tilting her chin so he could look at her face. "Brooke wanted to tell me that she's moving to Savannah, to move on with her life, because I've always wanted to save you, and I don't ever save her, apparantly. I told her that was true, and I don't love her the same way I once did," he told the blonde in his arms.
For a moment, Peyton really couldn't believe it. That made her feel a lot better than he would ever know. "Well, if you want to save me, I could definately use your help. I need you, Lucas, I don't think I can get out of this hole on my own," she buried her face in his chest again, tears flowing down her cheeks still as she thought about how far she had fallen in just a matter of weeks. She felt like she was drowning and everyone else had abondoned her, except for the blond guy next to her, who was offering her a life preserver.
Holding her tightly against him, with one hand at the back of her neck and the other arm wrapped around her back, Lucas took a few deep breaths, letting her cry, because he knew she probably needed it. He didn't know how he was going save her, but he wouldn't stop until she was okay again. "Don't forget, Peyton,, I'm not the only one here for you. My mom, and Haley and Nathan all came to the hospital when I called them last night, and they all want to be here for you too. We're all going to get you back to normal, together," he said, assuring her, and maybe, just maybe, she could try to believe him.
A/N: So, ya'all seemed excited to figure out what happened to Peyton, and what Brooke wanted to say to Lucas. So, please, let me know if it lived up to what you were expecting. Reveiew, please, if you have any comments, ideas, criticisms or anything.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.