A few days later, Peyton was home in her bed, while Lucas fixed her breakfast. She had had a shower in the hospital, and she had been forcing herself to take showers everyday since, because she knew she'd have to start working on the small things first, if she wanted to get her life together again. She was a little worried, though, because Lucas was going to have to leave her today, for the first time since she'd taken the pills, and she was scared of being without him.
For the most part, he had spent every minute by her side, except when he was cooking for her, or when one of them were in the shower. Of course, she knew he had his own life, and he couldn't be with her constantly, but she had gotten used to his presence the past few days, and when he was with her she almost felt normal again. Although, she didn't know if that was his doing, or the pills the doctor had prescribed her, but she had a feeling at least half of it was just Lucas.
When she had seen the counselor at the hospital, she had Lucas by her side, and she managed to open up a bit. At least, she said enough for the doctor to tell her that she was clinically depressed, and to prescribe her an anti-depressant. She really hated the fact that it had come down to uppers to making her feel better, but, as Lucas said, if that was what it took, then that was what it took. He tried to tell her she probably wouldn't have to be on them forever, but with the way she felt when she was off of them, she wasn't so sure.
Breaking her out of her thoughts, Lucas entered the room, carrying a tray. He set it on her lap, then went to the other side of the bed, so he could sit next to her on it. Though she wouldn't mention it to him, she had come to think of it as his side of the bed. She was on the side she used to sleep on in high school, and he always sat on the other side. He had even taken to sleeping with her at night. Nothing had happened, he hadn't even kissed her yet, but still, she felt comforted by his presence, especially when she was trying to go to sleep.
As she looked at the food, she didn't want to eat, but she would, of course, because Lucas also said she was never going to get better if she didn't eat. She knew it wasn't that simple, but, once again, it was the little things that she had to start with. So she picked up the fork and put a bite of the french toast he had made into her mouth. She had to admit, she couldn't really taste it, nothing had any real taste anymore, but still, she smiled at him like she could taste it.
As soon as she had finished as much as she could stomach, Lucas handed her the little pill she needed to take with the last of her apple juice. She grimaced before putting it in her mouth and swallowing it, allowing the rest of the juice to coat her throat as the pill went down. He leaned over and kissed her forehead before getting to his feet, taking the tray with him. "I'm going to leave as soon as Haley gets here, but I'll be back just as soon as I can, okay?" he told her for probably the twentith time that past hour.
Instead of getting frustrated with his constant reassurances, she felt, well, reassured. She was glad to know he was coming back and, honestly, she was kind of glad that Haley would be here while he was gone. Even if she couldn't be around him, she was glad to know that someone would be there. She knew she would get tired of basically being babysat eventually, but she knew for now she would have to deal with it. "Thank you, Lucas," she said, giving him a smile.
For a moment he just stared at her, amazed at how far she'd come in so few days, and for a moment he wasn't overwhelmed by how far they had to go, he was just glad that he got to spend all this time with her. "You are so amazing Peyton. Really, you are, and you're going to realize it one day. You're going to change the world. You've already changed mine," he admitted, the words coming out of his mouth before he could think about it.
They just stared at each other for a moment, both of them knowing they were in love with the other one, but neither of them able to say it, both of them telling theirselves that it would be too complicated to start a relationship right now, that they just had to be friends. The tension in the room quickly turned things awkward, though, and Lucas quickly retreated, before he could do something like kiss Peyton, and possibly ruin all the progress she'd made.
As Lucas was finishing the dishes, the doorbell rang. He called that he would get it, even though they both knew that, and headed for the door, knowing it was Haley. His petite brunette best friend had a cheery smile plastered on her face, but he could see the worry in her eyes that she was trying to mask. "Hales, she's not going to try to off herself while you're here. She's on her anti-depressants, and while she's on them, she's almost normal. She just needs to take one step at a time and try to get out of this hole she's fallen into. Treat her normally," he said.
Letting out a small sigh of relief at Lucas's first statement, she nodded, knowing that he was right. Treating Peyton like some mental patient would help no one. Besides, she missed the woman she had once called one of her best friends. She wanted to treat her that way. "You're right. That is why I brought Jamie. I thought he would cheer her up, since she always seems to make me feel better when I'm down, and he seemed to be doing the same for her," she said as she stepped past Lucas and into the house, Jamie following behind her.
The little boy bounded into the house. "Uncle Lucas," he shouted, launching himself into Lucas's arms. The boy caught him offguard, but Lucas managed to not let him fall. "Hey, Jimmy-Jam, you be good for your mom and your Aunt Peyton, okay? I'm trusting you here," he said to the boy as he set him down. Jamie looked up at Lucas and made a circular motion over his head, indicating that he would be an angel before he ran off into the house.
Sighing, Lucas watched after the boy for a moment, before shaking his head and returning his attention to Haley. "I'm going to go up and say goodbye to Peyton, and then she's all yours. I'm just going to go to my meeting, then stop by my house and grab some things before coming back. I'm running out of clothes that you brought me, and I need to check my mail and stuff," he said, noticing the look that passed over her face. "What?" he asked, knowing she was about to tell him something he might not want to hear.
With big eyes that were trying to play innocent, Haley looked over at her best friend. "How long do you plan on staying, Lucas?" she asked, knowing he didn't have a concrete answer. His look told her 'as long as it takes.' She let out a slow breath before just telling him what was on her mind. "I know she needs you, and you don't mind being here, but you can't stay here forever. You have a life, and a job, and she'll never get fully better if you act as her crutch," she said, not trying to be harsh, but telling the truth.
Rolling his eyes, he didn't even bother to really listen to what she was saying. "Listen, Haley, I know I can't be here forever, but I can be here now, and that's what I plan on doing. She's feeling all alone and I'm not going to abondon her. I'm not coddling her, I'm helping her, and I'm going to save her this time. I'm not going to lose her again," he broke off, thinking of how he was after she moved to Savannah, and thinking of how his heart practically stopped beating when he heard of her accident.
Nodding, she knew exactly where his mind went. she remembered the first couple weeks around her second wedding, right after Peyton left. He had been out of it all the time, and she could tell even then that he was in love with the blonde, but one day he seemed to get over it, and he pushed himself into his relationship with Brooke, and all seemed to be fine. She realized now that he just buried his feelings for Peyton, and had tried to pretend they weren't there.
So, she really could understand why he was so adamant about this. He felt that he had lost her once, and he didn't want to lose her again. She remembered the way she felt when she thought she had lost Nathan, after her tour, and she didn't want her best friend to feel like that. She only hoped that Peyton felt the same way back about him, and she hoped that he could help her, because she had a feeling that if he couldn't help Peyton, he would get lost too. "Just be careful," she finally said.
Like she had moments ago, he nodded, and then made his way up the stairs. He kind of did get what she was saying, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for that blonde upstairs, and he would do anything to keep from losing her again, even if that meant he couldn't hold her, or tell her he loved her like he wanted to. He would have to hide his feelings from her the best he could, and just be there for her until she got better. Maybe then they could be something more, but not before. He wouldn't rush her, and this time he was going to wait for her.
Knocking on the door when he reached it, the first thing he noticed was that she was out of bed. He stepped further into the room, and noticed she was standing in front of her records, pulling a few out and putting some back, but making a pile with ones she approved of. She looked over at him and shot him a deer-in-the-headlights look for a moment before regaining her confidence. "I figure you're going to make me stay up here, but I figured since Jamie is with Hales, I could give him a lesson on good music," she said with a hesitant look.
It was clear she was worried he was going to scold her for getting out of bed, and he kept his face expressionless as he stepped forward, glancing at her pile of records. He shook his head. "Nope, Peyton, I'm afraid you can't do that," he said, then he picked up one of the records as her face fell. "Because a good music lesson does not include the Cure. I'm sorry," he grinned at her as she snatched the record back before he could toss it in the trash.
Hitting him lightly with the record now in her hands, she stuck her tongue out at him. "I don't know how you can't like the Cure. They are so amazing, and if you don't think so, you know less about music than I thought you did," she teased back, setting the record back on her pile before turning back to him. He was almost as surprised as she was that she was teasing him. "I promise not to overdo it. I'll just sit here in bed and listen to some good music with my favorite boy and his mother," she said.
Sticking his bottom lip out in a mock-pout, he crossed his arms across her chest, which she was currently doing as well, but her movement was subconsious. "I thought I was your favorite boy," he pretended to whine, causing her to laugh, which was exactly the effect he intended. His posture also caused her to lower her arms, which was also what he wanted her to do. They had talked about it some, and now every time she did it, he imitated her, and it caused her to stop.
Shaking her head, she stepped closer to him. "Well, you were my favorite guy," she stressed the word for emphasis, "but I guess if you're going to whine and pout like a little boy, I'll have to consider you one, and I'm sorry, but you still fall behind Jamie in that category," she teased, feeling so good because they were able to banter. It had been a long time since she had bantered with anyone, and no one could respond to her teasing like Lucas.
As she came even closer, he lowered his arms and stopped pouting. "Well, don't tell Hales, but you are most definately my favorite girl, and you most definately come before Lily as well," he said, in all seriousness, their locked gazes causing them to notice nothing else in the room as the tension mounted again. Lucas found himself leaning closer to her, wanting to kiss her perfect lips as he noticed her gaze on his lips. They almost made contact, until Haley cleared her throat, breaking the spell that had fallen over the two blondes.
The brunette came into the room, sending a mock glare at Lucas. "Hey, when did I get bumped to second on your list? I'm supposed to be number one, man," she pretended to be upset with him. She crossed her arms over her chest and stuck out her tongue at Lucas, while Jamie came into the room, bounding over to Peyton to give her a hug. Peyton immediately greeted the little boy, overexagerrating her emotions to pretend the moment between her and Lucas hadn't just happened.
Sending Haley a look of thanks, he responded to her mock-anger. "Hey, forget number two, Haley, you're like number four. You come after Peyton, Lily and my mom. Heck, you even come behind that cute little girl in Jamie's class on the days you annoy me," he teased, before deciding to take his leave. He said a final goodbye to everyone and avoided Peyton's gaze before slipping out of the room and heading for the front door.
Once they heard the front door close, and Lucas's truck drive away, Peyton began playing her records, telling Jamie the story of how she got each one, and answering his questions when he had them. She knew Haley was watching her, wanting an explanation for what had just happened, but she honestly didn't know what had happened. She had wanted so badly to kiss Lucas that, for a moment, she had almost lost her control. She knew she couldn't allow that to happen again.
After a little while, they made lunch, and set Jamie up in the living room playing video games while they watched from the couch. Since Jamie was so engrossed in the game, it gave Haley a chance to give Peyton the interrogation they both knew was coming. "Just get it over with, ask your questions and I'll try to give you the answers," she sighed as the two women sat on the couch, pretending to watch Jamie play the game.
Haley was quiet for a minute, but decided to not even pretend she didn't want to ask questions. She had been watching Peyton carefully all day, trying to figure out what was going on through her mind. "How do you feel about Lucas?" she asked, catching the blonde off-guard, as she had figured she would. Peyton had been expecting a question about her mental health, but Haley was more worried about the mental health of her best friend.
For a moment, Peyton couldn't say anything, because she had honestly expected Haley to question why she had done what she did, or anything similar to that subject. The last thing she had expected to be questioned about was her feelings for Lucas, but she could see where Haley was coming from. She didn't know what to say, though. Just as she was about to open her mouth and give some vague answer, Haley cut her off. "Peyton, don't give me some BS answer about how you appreciate his friendship. I know that. I want to know how you truly feel about him," she said, giving her a no-nonsense tone of voice.
That made Peyton pause again, to reconsider her answer. She really didn't know what to say. She loved him, yes. She was in love with him, yes. She also knew he was in love with her. She just didn't know how to make things uncomplicated. "Look, Haley, things are complicated. He just got out of an engagement with Brooke, who was supposed to be my best friend, and I just got out of a marriage that was tecnically never legal. I don't know what's going to happen now," she said, trying to avoid admitting how she really felt.
The brunette just sent Peyton a look that said she knew exactly what she was trying to do. Haley knew that Peyton was still avoiding the topic, and she wasn't going to let her off that easy. "None of that answered my question. I know how he feels about you. He's felt the same way since the eighth grade, even if he didn't always acknowledge it. Now I want to know how you feel about him. I want to know if I can trust you with him, because the last thing I want is to see either of you hurt," she said.
Blowing a piece of hair out of her eyes, and then biting her lip, Peyton considered what Haley said. "Yes, I love him, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I am in love with Lucas Scott, and I have been head over heels for him since junior year. Even when he chose Brooke over me, I loved him, and even though I loved Jake, I was still in love with Lucas. I have been and always will be in love with Lucas Scott, and I don't think I would stop it, even if I could, and I can't. I've tried," she tried to joke, but they both realized she was completely serious.
On the TV screen, something blew up and they both cheered for something, although neither of them really knew what. Jamie got excited, so they got excited for him. It was a few minutes before Haley spoke again. "Then it'll all work out," she said finally, causing Peyton to look at her sharply. "If you love him like you say you do, and he loves you like I know he does, then it'll all work out for you two. True love always works out in the end," she clarified. Peyton didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything to that.
Not too long after that, Lucas arrived, and Haley and Jamie left the house, Haley giving him a pat on the arm as she left and sending him a look that let him know she knew something he didn't know. He didn't ask, though, because he knew she wouldn't tell him. Well, that, and, he really wanted to see Peyton. So he just went inside and started looking for the blonde, finally locating her in her room, with a record playing, as per usual.
The smile that lit up her face when she saw him made it all feel worth it. It made his whole day brighter and he knew that if he could see that smile every day of his life, he would never get tired of it. He would never get tired of her, he knew, and he couldn't wait until the day when he could tell her just how much she meant to him, but he knew that if it was meant to be, it would be, and he was sure it was meant to be. So he would just have to wait, and take it one day at a time, until she got better.
As she watching him approach, Peyton knew that she would never get tired of the feelings he inflicted in her at just the sight of him, and she knew that though she was scared right now of getting into a relationship, Haley's words gave her hope that it would all be okay one day. Lucas would make it okay, and one day they'd have their time, but for right now, she was just going to focus on one day at a time, and trying to get the rest of her life in place first.
A/N: First off, let me say that I am super duper sorry. I really meant to update long before now, but I am having computer issues. I need a new one, really, because my internet decided it didn't want to work, but I don't think I'll get a new one any time soon, so I'll have to settle for fixing my internet…somehow. Anyway, onto the chapter comments. I thought I would add some Paley friendship in this chapter, and I had Jamie in there because I love him. So, Lucas and Peyton are getting closer together. I have some major plans with them. You all will find out soon enough. I also have some plans for Jake. He's not completely gone yet. He will be in and out throughout the whole fic, I think. Same with Nikki and Brooke. Anyway, let me know what you think, please, please, please. I will resort to begging.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to One Tree Hill.