A month later, found Peyton and Lucas still in much the same situation. He was still staying with her when he could during the day, and leaving her with Haley, Nathan or Karen when he had to leave the house. He was still sleeping in the same bed as her when they went to bed, and neither of them had confessed their feelings to the other. She did seem to be doing better in the day-by-day, though. They had gone to the Rivercourt yesterday, and she was eating all her meals without complaint.

It was one Sunday when she decided she needed to take another step in the direction of moving on with her life. She wanted to go get her things from the house in Savannah. Alone. Her only problem was how to present this idea to Lucas in a way that would make him say yes. She wasn't sure how she was going to do it, but she had decided that it would happen today. She thought about it all morning long, and finally decided to just tell him what she planned on doing. She could drive on her own now. She could just go.

Currently, he was sitting in the living room, playing a board game with his little sister. She had gone back to work at the Cafe this week, as soon as her cast his come off, but it was her day off, and Lucas was babysitting his little sister today, because he had nothing to do, and he thought it would be good for the three of them to hang out today. Peyton had to admit that she loved the tiny brunette. She almost reminded her of Jenny a couple of years ago. Jenny was also stubborn and extremely cute. Lily was also all Karen, though, and you could definitely see the Keith in her.

With a smile, she entered the living room and took a seat in a chair opposite them. She had been cooking lunch while they had played their game, and she was finished with lunch now. "Hey, Lils, why don't you go wash up for lunch, okay, and you two can finish your game after we eat. I promise, I won't allow Lukey to cheat while you're washing up," she promised when Lily hesitated. Lily accepted Peyton's promise, and bounded from the room. Peyton sighed as she watched the small girl go.

From his spot on the couch, Lucas watched Peyton. He knew she had something to say, so he decided to just wait for her to say it. She looked down at her hands and bit her bottom lip. "Listen, Lucas, I've thought about this a lot, and my counselor agrees with me," she began. He waited, wondering if he was going to like what she had to say. She looked up at him, her green eyes imploring. "I need to go to Savannah and pick up my stuff," she decided to just tell him, and wait for his reaction.

Of course, his reaction was to say no. She saw that in his face, and so she continued. "I need to do this, Lucas, and I need to do this on my own. I miss Jenny, even though I've talked to her on the phone, and Nikki has brought her to see me. I need the rest of my stuff, too, if I'm really going to be living here, I need my old stuff, to make it more like normal. My leg is healed now, and my counselor really thinks that this will be good for me. I'll be fine, I promise," she said, looking down at her lap again.

After taking a moment to think it over, Lucas was ready to give his answer, but Lily came back down the stairs, so they got up and went to the dining room, to eat lunch. They talked and laughed like normal, but Lucas was quieter than normal, and Peyton knew he was thinking over the whole situation. As soon as Luly finished eating, she wanted to go back to her game with Lucas, but he told her to go in the living room and watch some T.V for a few minutes and Peyton knew she was going to get her answer.

The two of them began to do the dishes, with Peyton washing and rinsihg and Lucas drying, since Peyton's old house didn't have a dish washer. He dried a few dishes in silence before he decided he couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, Peyt, you can go. I understand that you need to do this," he said, then changed the subect, letting her know it was closed. "So, have you called your brother yet?" he asked, referring to the note she had found from Ellie in one of her records, which was years old, and said she had a brother.

Shaking her head, she bit her lip as she rinsed another dish and handed it off without looking at him. She was nervous about calling the number, because she wasn't sure it even worked anymore, and she wasn't sure that he would accept her. She wasn't sure it would be good to let a new person in her life right now either, but both the counselor and Lucas thought it was a good idea. She just wasn't convinced, but she promised in the last session with her counselor that she would.

FLASHBACK

"So, Peyton," the redheaded woman said as she studied the blonde. "Let's talk about the note I know you found. Have you called your brother yet?" the counselor asked, and Peyton sheepishly shook her head. Making a tsking noise, the counselor made a note on her clipboard. "You don't know what's going to happen unless you put yourself out there, Peyton, you know that. Tell me, why haven't you called him yet?" she asked as she looked at the blonde, raising one eyebrow as she appraised her.

Taking a deep breath, Peyton slowly let it out, biting on her lip. "I don't know. It's just, it's been so long since Ellie came into my life. I don't know if the number is even still good, or if my brother would want to hear from me if I did," she shrugged, and the counselor continued to look at her, and they both knew that wasn't the whole truth. "Okay, okay, I know, that's not the whole truth. I'm scared, okay. I'm really scared to call him, and I'm scared that he'll come into my life, and then leave, and I won't make it through the abondonment of another family member of mine," she amended.

With a nod, the counselor wrote something on the clipboard before looking back up at her patient again. "Everything is a little bit scary, Peyton, or at least it has the potential to be. It's how we deal with those fears that matters. I think you're strong enough now. I want you to at least call him before our next session," she said, and the blonde reluctantly nodded. "Are you still recording your thoughts one your podcasts?" she asked, bringing up a new topic and looking at her curiously.

Biting on her lip, Peyton slowly nodded. She was hesitant to really answer. "I actually mentioned my brother problem. Once I call, I'll probably continue to update on it, if anyone's listening anyway," she said with a shrug, as she looked down, suddenly becoming very interested in her finger nails. She hadn't really told Lucas about the podcasts yet. She planned on it. One day, when all her issues were dealt with, and not quite so embarrassing. And maybe when she had moved on, and married someone else, if that ever happened, because she kind of mentioned her feelings for him in them.

After studying Peyton for a moment, the woman spoke. "Well, let's examine that, shall we. You'll mention your problems to a bunch of people you don't even know, and yet you feel you can't talk to anyone you do know about your problems," she said. Peyton opened her mouth to speak, but the woman held up a finger. "No, you speak to me only because you have to. Not because you consider me a close enough friend to talk to. There is a difference. Tell me, Peyton, why do you feel you can't talk to your friends?" she asked.

The tone told Peyton that she already knew the answer, she was just waiting to hear what Peyton had to say. Peyton crossed her arms defensively across her chest. "Well, it couldn't be the fact that the one person who was supposed to be my best friend, the one who had promised me that she would always be there for me, just dropped me as soon as a guy she deemed worthy came into her life? Or could it be the fact that the man I pledged my life to forever, the man I was supposed to love 'till death do us part, just didn't work out. What is supposed to make me believe that any kind of relationship, or friendship, will ever truly last?" she asked, surprised by the words that came out of her mouth.

It took a long time for the woman to consider Peyton's word before she replied. Peyton just sat there, nervously biting her lip, wondering what was coming next. "Some relationships, some friendships, just end Peyton. There is no why and there is no reason to believe that everyone is going to leave you," she said, and from Peyton's change in expression, she knew she'd guessed right. "You still have that fear, don't you? The fear that everyone in your life will leave you, that Lucas will eventually leave you," she cocked her eyebrow at the blonde.

Blowing out a sigh, she finally realized that was correct. She was scared that any day now, Lucas would realized what a nutcase she was, and go running as fast as he could to get away from her. That's why she didn't want to get her heart involved. "Everyone else has. Brooke, Jake, Anna, even Larry in his own way. I just don't think I could take it if I told him how I felt, and he told me he felt the same, and then he left. It'd be much easier if I could just deny my feelings until he finally leaves. I don't deserve him. I'm broken, and I don't even know if you can fix me," she said softly.

The timer went off, signaling the end of the session. Peyton jumped to her feet, ready to run out of there, but she was stopped by a voice. "You're not broken, Peyton. A little damaged, yes, but you will heal, I know it. You're too stong and stubborn not to. Look at how far you've already come, and I think you're going to go a lot farther," she said with a smile. "As for Lucas, sometimes we need someone to help us through it, and I think Lucas is in this for the longhaul. Even if he's not, sometimes we just have to take a chance and see how things go," she added.

END FLASHBACK

Pulling her car to a stop, Peyton looked at the house she used to live in. She hadn't seen it since the accident, but the grass appeared to be mowed, and it seemed like the white paint had been freshened, which she had been complaining needed to be done. Jake had never been one to mow the lawn though, so she had to wonder, who had done it for him? It wasn't her business anymore, she reminded herself forcibly. They weren't married. She had no say in who mowed his lawn.

Getting out of the car, she walked up the front porch and then hesitated for only a moment before knocking on the front door. There was a few beats of silence, then she heard steps coming toward the door. Suddenly, a second set of lighter steps came running past the first one, and the door swung open to reveal Jenny, who beamed up at Peyton when she realized who was at the door. "Peyton!" she called, throwing herself into Peyton's arms just as Nikki came into view.

To be honest, Peyton wasn't all that surprised to see Nikki there. She had almost expected that now that she moved out, Nikki would be around more to help out with her daughter. "Hey, Peyton, come on in," she said, and Peyton had to admit, she sounded sincere. Peyton followed Nikki into the living room, still holding Jenny and listening to her babble on about what was going on in her life. What really surprised Peyton was the fact that Brooke was sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine like she lived there.

It took Peyton a few moments to realize that Brooke did live there. "Jake is the friend in Savannah?" she managed to get out, finally drawing Brooke's attention to her. The brunette took her feet off the couch and closed the magazine her eyes wide as she looked at her once-best friend, at a complete loss for words. Peyton nodded quickly, not giving Brooke a chance to respond. "It's none of my business anyway. I came to see Jake. I need to get the rest of my stuff," she said, setting the little girl down and turning to Nikki, ignoring Brooke.

The tiny brunette looked up at Peyton with eyes that were quickly filling with tears. "You're really leaving?" she said, before she ran off to her room. The three adults heard the door slam, but none of them could move, all of them surprised by Jenny's outburst. Peyton had thought that Jenny had understood, and that she was okay with things. Jake came from the other part of the house when he heard the door slam, and stopped short at the sight of the blonde in his living room. He had not expected Peyton.

Shaking her head as he opened his mouth, she pushed past him. "No, Jake, I really don't have time for any excuses. I don't give a damn about who you're screwing. I care about that little girl, who is apparantly heartbroken right now. So save it, and if you wouldn't mind gathering the boxes and putting them on the porch or something. I would appreciate not having to spend any more time than necessary in the house with you and the woman you're shacked up with," she said, anger getting control of her for a moment.

Her words caused Jake to stop in his tracks and she left him on the stairs as she made her way to Jenny's room. She knocked on the door gently, trying the knob when she got no response, and finding it open. She leaned in the door way for a moment, watching as Jenny sat at her small desk, a piece of paper in front of her, on which she was drawing, as tears rolled down her cheeks. "You know, for a second there, I would have sworn you were my daughter, with the way you stormed off like that," she said casually.

The little girl stubbornly kept her gaze down, but she could tell she had the girl's attention when she asked what Peyton meant. "Well, I had that same attitude when I was your age. Also, the drawing thing is all me, too. Your dad has musical talent, and I've never seen your mom pick up anything relating to art," she said assuredly, knowing she had Jenny's attention now when the little girl put down the pencil. "You're not scared that just because some paper says I'm not your mother, that will mean I'm not going to be involved in your life, are you?" she asked, taking a seat on the small princess bed.

The tiny girl made her way over to the bed and sat down, sniffling as she nodded slowly. She kept a safe distance from Peyton, with no contact whatsoever, but Peyton knew she was softening. "Well, I haven't seen you since that last day in Tree Hill, and you said we'd see each other more. I guess I always thought you weren't really going to take your stuff. If you take your stuff, and daddy gets with someone else, then it means you're really never coming back," she said, rubbing at more tears that slipped from her eyes.

Without hesitation, Peyton pulled the little girl into her arms. "I'm so sorry Jenny. You're right, things really aren't going back to normal, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. I promise you, you're still my favorite little girl of all time. I'm just going through some hard stuff, and your daddy and I need to stay away from each other to heal for a little while, you know, because we lost the baby. I promise, from now on, I'll find a way to see you more often, okay, no matter what, and I'll be a part of your life for as long as you want me to be," she promised, hoping she could keep that promise.

With another small sniffle, Jenny pulled back to look Peyton in the face. "Well, that'll be forever, you know," she said confidently, after seemingly deciding that Peyton really was telling the truth. Peyton chuckled and nodded, deciding in that moment that she didn't care what was going on between her and Jake, or Jake and anyone else. She'd find a way to spend more time with the little girl, even if she had to go through Nikki. She pulled Jenny into another hug, and Jenny hugged back, both of them satisfied with the talk.

After telling Peyton everything that had been going on at home, including the fact that Brooke had moved in, Jenny reluctantly agreed to let Peyton get her stuff and go, only after making Peyton promise that she could come stay with her in Tree Hill some weekend soon. Peyton had promised, and as she closed the door behind her, she wondered about what Jenny had told her. The little girl hadn't specifically said her dad and Brooke were together, but that didn't mean they weren't. Peyton hadn't been able to bring herself to inquire.

On her tiptoes, which she knew was immature, but she wasn't ready to face Jake after yelling at him like that, and she didn't want to face Brooke at all, she made her way to the front door. She was hoping that Jake had done as she had requested and gotten the rest of her stuff on the porch. He had. There were boxes covering the porch, but Peyton was surprised to find Nikki out there too, looking somewhat repentant. She didn't understand the guilt in Nikki's eyes, but then realized it must have something to do with Brooke and Jake. Maybe she was feeling guilty for not telling Peyton?

Before Nikki could speak, Peyton held up a hand. This had just seemed to cement it further into her mind. Brooke really had come here to be with Jake, and Jake had apparantly wanted to be with her too. Peyton had to force herself not to be hurt, because she, after all, had feelings for Lucas, who was Brooke's ex. She should have expected it even, with the way Brooke and Jake were acting in the hospital. Even though she told herself all those things, though, she really couldn't bring herself to believe them. Not right now. Not yet.

So instead of having this discussion with Nikki, when she didn't know what she was feeling, Peyton cut the brunette off. "It's really okay, Nik. It's not your fault, and I don't blame you," she said honestly, because she really couldn't expect Nikki to tell her this. Her loyalty should lie with the father of her child before her friend. Nikki looked surprised by this, but Peyton didn't let her speak. "Seriously, it's okay. Do you think you can help me load these so I can get out of here?" she asked, changing the subject.

Hesitating briefly, Nikki finally nodded, but Peyton had already grabbed a box and was walking toward her Comet, so there was nothing for Nikki to do but grab a box and follow. She was surprised Peyton had taken the news so well, when she had been yelling at Jake just minutes ago, but she could also tell that Peyton didn't want to talk about it, and there was no forcing Peyton to talk about something she didn't want to talk about. So Nikki and Peyton worked in silence, until all the boxes were in the car.

Then Nikki couldn't keep silent anymore. She hugged Peyton and before Peyton could cut her off, she spoke. "Are you really sure you're okay with it, Peyton?" she asked, her eyes searching the green ones, looking for some answer Peyton wasn't sure about. The question took Peyton by surprise, Nikki could tell, and Peyton paused as she tried to think of the right response. Nikki waited patiently, not wanting to push the blonde, because she knew she wouldn't get a straight answer if she did.

Biting on her lip for a moment, Peyton forced herself to slaken her jaw and let it go. Her counselor had told her to finally get rid of the habit, if she could, by stopping whenever she realized she was doing it. "I, um," she paused, finally settling on the truth. "Well, no, I'm not really okay with it, but what can I do, you know? I mean, I'm not married to him, and I really never was. So, while I don't know if I'm okay with it now, I'll have to be, and really, I don't blame you, Nikki. I meant that," she said before turning and walking down the walk to her car.

A/N: So, tell me what you think. I thank everyone who reviewed last chapter. I don't have much time to write a long A/N for this one. I just hope you liked it, and I hope you'll review.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.