Once Lucas saw Peyton's expression, his hand tightened around hers. "Stress-free, remember, we just decided that. Don't go back on your word now," he tried to keep his tone light, but the subject was heavy, and he lowered his voice and pulled her closer, so only she could hear him. "You can talk to her later. Leave it for now. Just ignore her," he whispered into her ear, intently staring at her, while her gaze remained firmly on Brooke.
The crowd got pushed around again, and Peyton's view of Brooke was once again obstructed. She turned her gaze from the spot where Brooke was and looked up at Lucas, trying to decide what she was going to do. He noticed the somewhat lost look in her eyes and took charge, pulling her by the hand through the crowd away from the bar and into her office, closing the door when they were inside and leaning against it as she began pacing, like he had known she would.
Running her hand through her hair, she paced back and forth, trying to figure out the best course of action. Should she go out there and just avoid Brooke completely? She really didn't want to make a scene and ruin the night. What about tomorrow, though, when she had to pick Jenny up? Should she possibly make a scene in front of the little girl? If Brooke was at Jake's tomorrow, acting like nothing had happened, should she tell Jake the truth? Should she just call Jake now and figure out what was going on?
Questions and possibilities raged endlessly through her mind, and she just didn't know what to do. She suddenly stopped pacing and looked to Lucas, who had moved from his spot leaning against the door, and was now sitting on the couch in her office. She walked over and plopped down next to him. "Poor Jake," she sighed out, at a loss for anything else to say. She just had no idea what to do or say in this situation. She almost wished she could call her counselor for advice.
Without saying anything, Lucas draped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, placing a kiss on the crown of her head. He just offered her comfort. She realized then what she was doing. "Oh, God, I'm such a horrible girlfriend. Here I am, worried about Jake, and here you are, comforting me, when it's your ex-girlfriend out there, flirting with every guy in the place. I'm so sorry. How are you doing?" she asked, looking up at him with wide green eyes.
A smile spread across his face, though he knew he shouldn't be amused. It was hard not to smile when he looked at Peyton, though, especially when she had just referred to herself as his girlfriend, which he had been waiting for for years. He reached up to cup her face and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Peyton, I understand, really I do. It's completely fine for you to worry about Jake, and I'm really okay," he assured her.
Smiling back at him, she realized that she had known that all along. "I know," she said simply, and he quirked an eyebrow at her quick agreement. "I knew you'd be okay, because I know you love me, and even if you weren't okay, I'm here for you. I was worried about Jake, because I'm not sure he's completely over everything yet, and he doesn't have anyone to go to for comfort if Brooke does hurt him," she explained.
Of course, Lucas understood, and he nodded when she finished speaking. He knew without a doubt that she was worried for Jake only as a friend, and she felt guilty for causing him pain in the first place, though she'd never admit that outloud. He couldn't be upset with her for simply being a good person. He was actually kind of worried about Brooke. "Are you ready to go back out there?" he asked her.
Still trying to figure out what she was going to do, she decided to just play it by ear, and nodded. She led the way towards the bar and noticed Brooke, still flirting with the bartender, staring at them. "Go talk to her. Make sure she's okay. I don't know what I'd sat to her. I haven't seen her since she left town," she pleaded with him, giving him a puppy dog look and a tilt of the head that he couldn't resist.
Despite his misgivings, he found himself heading towards Brooke, because he had never been able to say no to Peyton Sawyer, and he doubted he would change that, even if he could. She called out a thank you to him and he sent her a smile over his shoulder. He was worried about Brooke anyway, and he wanted to assure for himself that she was okay, or offer him comfort if she wasn't.
The bartender nodded at Lucas as he approached, and tore his attention away from Brooke. He handed Lucas a water, and then headed to the other side of the bar to tend to someone else, though not before winking at Brooke, Lucas noticed. It didn't really make him jealous, but he knew that the wink wasn't because the guy was looking for a relationship with her, and Brooke deserved better than a one night stand.
As Lucas took the barstool next to her, Brooke kept her eyes anywhere but his direction. She downed the first of three shots she had sittin in front of her. He sipped his water and waited for her to acknowledge him first, because he knew that Brooke had to do things at her own pace sometimes. She took a moment to let the alcohol affect her before looking over at him. "Are you okay?" he asked when she met his gaze.
Chuckling, though the sound was as humorless as it was possible for a laugh to be, she downed another one of her shots before turning back to him, her eyes flashing in drunken anger. "Oh, yeah, Lucas, I'm just flipping peachy. I've never been better. Life is just fantastic. Is that what you want to heat? WIll that make you feel better about yourself?" she kept herself from yelling, but she couldn't keep the bitterness from her voice.
Despite the fact that he had expected some reaction like that, he still flinched at her words. She tried slide off the stool to leave, but he grabbed her arm, and due to the alcohol she had already consumed, she stumbled, and he had to catch her in his arms so she wouldn't fall to the ground. He leaned back, away from the smell of alcohol that was as strong as if she had sprayed it on like perfume.
Pulling out of his grasp, Brooke swallowed loudly as she looked up at him, hating herself for the way he just seemed to melt her anger away. If just looking at him didn't do it, his next words certainly did. "I never stopped caring for you Brooke. I'm sorry things ended up this way, but I still want the best for you, and I always will. I wish we could just be friends," he said, his blue eyes burning into hers.
Staring in disbelief, Brooke realized her mouth had dropped open, and she snapped it shut, shaking her head slowly. "I believe those words, from you, really are sincere, but I just can't do it, Lucas. I can't stand to hear those words, from you of all people. Please, just leave me alone," she whispered softly, grabbing her last shot and pouring it down her throat before turning away and moving through the crowd, away from him.
Knowing that she really did need some space from him, he let her go, and a few moments later, he felt Peyton's reassuring hand on his shoulder, rubbing back and forth, moving to his back to rub up and down in comfort as she leaned her head on his arm. "I'm sorry, Lucas. One day she'll come around," she said assuredly, not really knowing if it was true or not or what had happened, but knowing he needed to hear those words.
Instead of saying anything, Lucas tore his eyes off the spot where Brooke had disappeared and looked at Peyton. He put his arm around her, and then pulled her close, into a kiss, which she quickly pulled out of, because they were in a public place. She bit her lip, wishing she wasn't so scared of being affectionate, but she still felt a little weary of being affectionate in public for some reason, despite the talk she had had with her counselor about it earlier.
Respecting her wishes, but wishing that she would stop being so scared, Lucas instead took her hand, leading her to the dance floor. She was glad that he was waiting for her to be ready, even though she didn't understand why she wasn't, but a part of her-the cynical part-wondered how long could it last, how long would he last, before he gave up on her like most everyone else in her life?
Before long, Peyton had to go announce the band, and she was walking back to the bar area, trying to find Lucas, when she noticed Brooke run into the bathroom, looking like she was about to vomit. She was hesitant to follow, but she knew Brooke probably had no one else to hold her hair back, and she remembered all the times she had had to hold Brooke's hair back in high school, and something made her follow the brunette into the bathroom.
Finding Brooke on her knees in front of the toilet in the first stall, Peyton approached and tenderly pulled Brooke's hair out of the way before anything could splash on it. She stood there, hunched over her once best friend, until Brooke had emptied the contents of her stomach, then she stepped out of the stall, got a few paper towels and got them wet before returning to wipe Brooke's mouth and forehead.
Neither said anything as Brooke gathered herself and tried to make sure she wasn't going to vomit again. Peyton just waited, wondering if Brooke was going to start yelling when she gathered the strength, or if she wasn't going to acknowledge her at all. Peyton wasn't sure which she would prefer. She was partially anxious for whatever fight was going to come, so they could just get past it already.
When Brooke finally opened her eyes, she stared at the woman across from her for a few minutes, neither breaking the lingering silence. "What are you doing Peyton?" Brooke finally asked. Peyton opened her mouth, but Brooke cut her off before she could speak. "No, I mean what is this? Why are you here with me? Weren't you the one who said we hadn't been best friends in years? What is this?" she didn't sound angry, just curious.
Staring back with the same intensity, Peyton realized that they were feeling each other out, trying to figure out what the other was thinking, and planning on doing. They had never had to wonder what was going on in the other one's mind before. She broke the eye contact and put her face in her hands. "I used to wonder what happened to us, Brooke. Why did this happen? Why did we let it?" she spoke into her hands.
Lifting her head, she looked into Brooke's eyes again. "Now, I don't care how we got here anymore. That doesn't matter. I just want our friendship back. I miss my best friend, and I don't care if you're dating Jake, and I hope you don't mind if I'm in love with Lucas, because he makes me happy, and I hope Jake makes you happy. I only want you to be happy, Brooke," she said sincerely, and Brooke was shocked into silence.
Since Brooke didn't say anything, Peyton went on. "I mean, that's why I stayed in Savannah in the first place, you know. I wanted you to be happy, and I knew Lucas was making you happy, and I didn't want to ruin that, and I thought Jake could make me happy. So I buried my feeling for Lucas, for you, and I stayed with Jake, and made my life with him, for you," she said, this time waiting for Brooke to speak.
The anger in Brooke's response shocked both of them. "Don't do that, Peyton. Don't try and place the blame on me. I didn't tell you to hide your feelings and I didn't make you go with Jake. Don't you dare even try to say this is all my fault," she threw the paper towels Peyton had given her to the side and stood, wanting to storm from the room. She stopped before she could go far because the room was spinning.
Due to Brooke's stopping, Peyton was able to get to her feet and move in front of her, to stand between her and the doorway before Brooke could run away. "Brooke, I didn't say that. Don't twist my words, and don't try to say it was all my fault either. I was placing the blame on no one, I was simply explaining my reasons, and don't try to twist things to put your mind at ease for shutting me out," she crossed arms over her chest defiantly.
With her hands up and rubbing her temples as she tried to stop the spinning, Brooke couldn't snap out a retort fast enough before Peyton continued, in a softer tone. "I just want us to go back to the friendship we had before, Brooke. Please, can't we at least try to do that? You used to be like a sister to me. I've already lost so many people, don't be one of them," she pleaded, meeting Brooke's eyes when the brunette managed to regain her composure.
Closing her eyes for a moment, Brooke opened again. "I just don't think that is possible, Peyton. We're not the same people we used to be. Too much separates us now, and too much has happened that I haven't accepted, that I'm not sure I can accept." They both knew she was talking mostly about Lucas. "I'm truly sorry, but I don't think we can ever get the friendship we once had back," she pushed past Peyton, and Peyton let her go, because other women were coming in to use the bathroom.
Once she was out of the bathroom, Brooke turned back, and the anger had returned to her eyes, though she kept her tone indifferent. "By the way, maybe you should get your facts straight before you assume things. I'm not dating Jake. I'm renting a room from him, once I get the money to pay him rent. He's dating Nikki, and you'd know that, if you bothered to ask anyone, instead of, once again, thinking whatever you want to think," she turned to walk away.
Something in Peyton snapped, and her own anger at Brooke was coming forth. "Damnit, Brooke, don't act all high and mighty. It looked pretty incriminating when you moved in with him, and I wouldn't put it past you to sleep with my ex just to spite me. I mean, you knew I was into Lucas when you went after him, and don't even pretend you didn't," she saw Brooke turn towards her again, but she didn't let the brunette speak.
It was like someone had broken down a dam, and all her anger at Brooke was spilling out now. It felt kind of good actually, because ever since she had gotten depressed, she had felt nothing but despair and numbness. She was actually feeling anger now, and she knew that was a major breakthrough, though she didn't give much thought to it then, because she was too busy yelling at Brooke.
Stepping closer, she tried to keep her voice at a normal volume. "Don't even try to say that things wouldn't have gone bad if I had stayed, either. If I had told you about my feelings for Lucas, you would have hated me anyway, and you know it. You probably wouldn't have broken up with him even if I had asked, which I wouldn't, because I, unlike you, have put your feelings before mine always," she had tears of anger in her eyes, but she didn't let them fall.
Surprising herself, she went on. "So damn you for not being able to forgive me for finally doing something that makes me happy. If you can't accept that, then that's your own personal problem. As much as I wanted your friendship back, I won't give up Lucas for you again. It looks like you get your wish, Brooke, because as of now, I'm done trying to change my feelings for you," she paused, the fire of her anger burning out as she realized what she was saying.
Instead of taking the words back, though, she went on, in a somewhat softer voice. "If you don't want to be friends anymore, fine. If you can't accept that I'm with Lucas, and we're happy together, I don't want to be friends anyway. I'm sorry for hurting you, really, I am, but it's past time for me to make myself happy, and if you can't understand that," she paused. "Well, that's it then," she turned and walked away, looking for Lucas.
Though she really wanted to call her counselor to talk about what happened, Peyton knew she couldn't. She couldn't call her counselor for every little thing. She needed to learn to completely handle things on her own. She just needed Lucas, and she would be okay. She knew that he was all she would ever truly need, and she was pretty sure that he would always be there for her.
Stopping in her tracks, she came to a sudden realization, that had nothing to do with Brooke, or Jake, or anything that had just gone down. She knew in her head that Lucas wasn't going to leave her, but her heart had been spurned so many times, it wasn't sure, and that was why she was holding back her affection. She wanted to be done holding back, though, because she knew Lucas was the only one she wanted, the only one who would truly make her happy.
Continuing to look for him, she allowed herself to think on what had just happened. Nikki was dating Jake. She realized that it made sense now, the whole encounter with Nikki and Jake that day. They both thought she had realized the truth when, really, she had just jumped to conclusions. She had just thought that Jake and Nikki would never get together again. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.
Spotting Lucas, she made her way through the crowd, feeling the smile that always spread across her face when she thought of him or saw him. She noticed all the women trying to dance with him and she noticed the way he ignored them, like he didn't even see them. He was looking for her. She suddenly was filled with the certainty that she was truly his, and he was hers, and nothing was going to change that.
When she reached him, she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a deep, passionate kiss, not caring who saw, because she knew the truth now, and she finally believed it, completely. She pulled back with a mischeivous grin. "Lets go back to my place," she said, taking his hand and pulling him toward the exit, ignoring his raised eyebrows. She wouldn't be able to explain it right if she tried.
It was like when that proverbial dam had burst in her, releasing all of her anger at Brooke, it had released her other emotions too. She wasn't entirely sure if that was because she had taken her pill today, combined with her personal breakthrough, but she didn't want to stop taking the pills again and find out that it was due to them. She had decided today that she would have no shame in taking them, and if they helped, they helped.
Part of her wanted to call the counselor to discuss this personal breakthrough, but she needed to prove to herself that she didn't need the woman to discuss everything that happened in her life. She knew that part of really getting better meant being able to handle life's curveballs, the good and the bad ones, on her own. She was going to take Lucas back to her house, and deal with Jake and Brooke and Nikki, tomorrow. One step at a time.
Following her out to the car, Lucas got in the drivers side, at her insistence, but as he began driving, he turned to her, questioning her, to make sure she was really okay with this. She smiled at his concern. "Yes, Lucas, I'm sure. I've been ready for this moment pretty much since I was sixteen. I think it's about time. In fact, I would say this moment is long overdue," she assured him, squeezing his hand in hers.
Stopping the car in front of her house, he went around and opened the door for her, giving her one last chance to back out. "Why, Lucas Scott, if I didn't know any better, I would think you were the one who was afraid," she challenged him, laughing when he began tickling her stomach, and they both headed for the house, neither noticing the figure on her porch until he was standing in front of them.
Both of them straightened, taking in the unfamiliar male, who had blonde hair and blue eyes. She looked to Lucas, who stepped slightly in front of her, wanting to protect her. She took his hand stepped up right next to him, asking the guy who he was. "Peyton Sawyer?" he asked her instead, and she slowly nodded. His eyes swept her up and down, as if he were assessing her. "I guess I'm your brother," he finally said.
A/N: Kudos to the reviewer who guessed that Jake was dating Nikki and not Brooke. I was truly surprised that someone had figured it out, because I was trying to make it so it could really go either way, because I wasn't sure whether I wanted Jake with Brooke or Nikki. I have decided now, though, to go with Nikki. So, tell me what y'all think of this chapter. Be sure to leave lots of reviews, and I'll try to work on the next chapter for y'all.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to One Tree Hill.