Author's Note: Thank you for all the great feedback, makes me smile. Yes, I heard your requests for another chapter this weekend, and I've granted them. If you guys want more after this, well, I might just post chapter 12 this weekend too!

You guys have my heart!

In this chapter you're going to see the uglier side to Kim.

Chapter 11: Kiss Me.

Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love

-Ed Sheeran

Olivia's POV:

When Olivia woke up she didn't know where she was at first. There was a pressure on top of her, when she looked down, she caught side of the blonde hair. She was at Amanda's apartment, with her student on top of her. God, what was she doing?

Olivia knew she had feelings for Amanda, but it was so wrong. This could effect Amanda's future, she couldn't let that happen. Amanda snuggled further into her, and Olivia sighed. It was like all her self control just vanished when Amanda Rollins was near her. She was falling in love with Amanda, but she had to face the truth: Amanda was her student. She was supposed to be Amanda's mentor, she would be taking advantage of Amanda if she let anything happen. She couldn't take advantage of Amanda, she cared too much.

She needed to get up. She needed to leave. Unwrapping her arms from around Amanda, she scooted out from under her body. Amanda clutched at her, and that made it even harder for her to leave. You have to, she reminded herself. She finally got free from Amanda's grip, and stood up. Amanda looked so beautiful in her sleep, Olivia almost got swept away again. Shaking her head, she quietly grabbed her purse from the floor.

Amanda whimpered and her heart clenched in her chest. Olivia bent down and placed a soft kiss on Amanda's forehead. God, she needed to get out of here before she did something that she'd regret.

Gathering all of her strength, Olivia backed away from Amanda's sleeping form and headed for the front door.

She kept telling herself not to look back, if she did, she'd never leave.

~0X~0X~0X~0X~0X~

Amanda's POV:

Amanda missed the warmth immediately, she'd heard Olivia leave. She felt extremely hurt that Olivia had just left, no note or anything. With a groan, Amanda sat up and stretched her back muscles. She'd picked an amazing couch, it had been comfortable. Then again she had been on Olivia, not the couch. Amanda had enjoyed being held by Olivia, it had melted all her worries away. Now that Olivia had left, she felt strange. She missed the older woman.

The phone rang in the kitchen, and Amanda ran to answer it. It might be Olivia, maybe she forgot something.

"Hello?" she said excitedly.

"Amanda?" Kim's voice rang out. Not again, Amanda thought. "Kim, I told you. I have no place for you."

"Amanda, I know. I'm not calling about that" Kim said, sounding impatient.

"What do you want, Kim?" Amanda sighed into the device.

"Can you meet me, I need to talk to you," Kim said. Amanda could hear loud music in the background.

"Kim, I don't think that's a good idea. It's already past 10, getting late," Amanda rationalized. She really didn't want to see her sister, Kim would just make her feel worse.

"Please, we're sisters," Kim yelled. Amanda could hear the music getting louder and louder, almost swallowing Kim's voice whole. "I'll text you the address, just show up."

Kim hung up. A few seconds later her phone received a new message, Kim had sent the address. Amanda was already dressed, she could just go see what Kim wanted. She'd be in and out.

~X0~X0~X0~

When Amanda first saw the building her sister had sent her to, she'd done a double take. The place was huge, but it looked to be falling apart and old. Music was blasting out the front doors, and people were entering and exiting as they pleased. Amanda had a bad feeling about this, but she pushed it back.

Stepping into the building, Amanda was shocked. The place was packed wall to wall, lights were flashing. The air reeked of pot and alcohol. The smoke was so thick, Amanda coughed when she entered. God, what was Kim doing here? Amanda knew she should turn around, but no matter what Kim had done to her, they were still sisters. Amanda entered the crowd.

She was packed in, people were bouncing and grinding all around her. Amanda could feel herself start to sweat. There was a tap to her shoulder, Amanda spun around. Her sister was standing before her, and she didn't look too good. Kim was sweating, her eyes darting around madly. Kim held up a red cup and offered it to Amanda. "Cheers!"

Amanda took the cup and held it awkwardly. "Kim, what did you want to talk about?" She yelled, trying to make sure Kim heard her over the music.

"Drink's first, Manda! Where are your manners, toast with me!" Kim shouted, holding her cup up for a toast. For the third time that night, Amanda went against her gut, and drunk from her cup. It was obviously very strong alcohol and Amanda coughed as the liquid slid down her throat.

"God, Kim. What's in this?" she pointed to her cup. Kim shook her head and smiled, jumping up and down with the crowd. "Let go, Amanda!" Kim yelled.

"No, Kim. Look at me!" Amanda yelled, grabbing her sisters arm. "Kim!"

What kind of drugs was her sister on? "Kim, what are you on?" Amanda continued.

"Amanda, I called you here so we could spend some time together. Enjoy the party, sis," Kim laughed, tossing her head back and pumping her fist up.

Amanda shook her head in disbelief. She moved to exit the crowd, when the first wave of dizziness hit. The music was pounding in her head, her world was spinning. Amanda stumbled.

"Kim," Amanda yelled, holding her head with one hand. "What did you give me? God, what was in that drink?" She dropped her cup, and heard the liquid splash all over the floor.

"Just relax, Amanda. You'll be alright," Kim dug in her pocket and pulled some type of pill out. Amanda shook her head and tried to concentrate, her thoughts were fuzzy, it was like she couldn't form any coherent thoughts. Kim suddenly pulled her head back, and dumped the pill down her throat.

"The fuck?" Amanda mumbled, trying to hack the small pill back up. It was stuck in the middle of her throat, but it was too far down to come back up. Amanda had to swallow. Why had she trusted Kim? The music grew louder. Her vision started to blur. Kim was bouncing up and down, laughing madly. Amanda knew one thing, she had to get out of here. Her legs felt weak, like every time she moved, they would snap.

"Amanda, enjoy it!" Kim yelled into her ear. Amanda clutched the side of her head and pushed past her sister, moving further into the crowd. She needed to find the doors. The air was getting thicker and she felt like she was suffocating, her head was spinning. Colors were flashing all around her. Laughter echoed all around her. Amanda felt like she was going to puke. There was a ticking noise vibrating around inside her head. God, what had Kim done to her?

Somebody pushed her, and Amanda stumbled. You need to focus, Amanda thought. Find the door. She managed to think clearly for a moment, her eyes scanning the building. She could see the door. Amanda stumbled towards it, pushing her way through the sea of bodies. Amanda fell on top of somebody, they quickly pushed her off. She couldn't hear anything, except the faint pumping of the music. She felt like she was far away from her body, looking down. It was like watching a really bad movie.

The crowd surged, and Amanda almost got swept away again. She kept fighting, her body growing weaker.

Finally she stumbled out into the fresh night air. Her sister had tricked her, her sister had drugged her. Amanda almost fell down. She felt like she was drowning underwater and nobody was there to save her. Tears streamed from her eyes, but she forced herself to keep walking down the street. She needed to get to the Subway, needed to get home. All Amanda could think about was her sisters betrayal. Her head got fuzzier, it was like she wasn't in control of her own body. Amanda kept trying to fight it, to push the fog from her mind, but it wouldn't go away.

Just find home.

~0X~0X~0X~0X~

Amanda snuggled further into the warmth that surrounded her. Her head was pounding, and she was still a bit fuzzy, but she felt better. She must've made it home. When her eyes opened, she jumped back. Olivia Benson was standing in front of her, and she looked pissed. Olivia still looked extremely beautiful when she was mad.

Why was Olivia here? Was she hallucinating?

Without thinking, Amanda said the first thing that popped into her head. "Are you real?"

Olivia's eyebrow arched, and her jaw clenched. Amanda looked around. She was in Olivia's house, back in Olivia's bedroom. How did she get here? She rubbed her head and groaned, God her head felt horrible. What happened last night?

"Please, tell me I'm dreaming," she whispered to herself, glancing back to Olivia.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Olivia asked, her voice eerily calm.

"Uh. Huh?" Amanda said dumbly, tilting her head. She couldn't really focus on anything with the pounding in her head. "How did I get here?" Amanda asked, ignoring Olivia's question.

"I was heading to work this morning, and I found you passed out on my lawn," Olivia said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'll ask again. What the hell were you thinking, Amanda?"

"Oh, God, on your lawn," Amanda groaned, rubbing her temples. "I'm so sorry, I'll pay for any damage I did."

"Amanda, what were you doing?" Olivia asked, her voice raising a bit.

"I was trying to go home, must've took the wrong train. Sorry bout that," Amanda murmured, clutching at her head. God, it felt like rocks were being tossed around in there.

Olivia suddenly grabbed her arms, and looked her in the eye. "Are you not understanding me? I want to know what the hell you think you were dong last night?"

"I don't-" Amanda stammered, trying not to look at Olivia. How was she supposed to tell her that she'd been high as a kite, and that her own sister had been the one to drug her?

"Amanda, were you drinking?" Olivia asked, she sounded livid.

"Not really," Amanda admitted. It was true, she'd only had a few gulps out of her cup. She wouldn't have been effected if Kim hadn't spiked it.

"Were you doing drugs?" Olivia kept the questions up.

"Yeah," Amanda said reluctantly.

"What did you take, Amanda?"

"I don't really know," Amanda blushed, looking down.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Olivia yelled, her body going tense. Amanda's head protested at the loud noise, and she grimaced.

"Yeah. Sorry about your lawn. I need to go home, I have work later," Amanda said, moving to climb out from under the covers.

"Amanda, don't you dare get out of that bed," Olivia's voice was so low, so threatening. Amanda stopped moving. "If you think you're going anywhere, you're wrong. It's Friday and you've already missed school, you think I'm going to let you go back and party the weekend away?"

"Olivia, you really don't understand," Amanda tried, moving to get up again.

Olivia softly pushed her back down, warning her with her eyes. "I think I understand plenty, Amanda. I found you face down on my lawn this morning, do you know how sca -worried I was?" Amanda shook her head, lowering her eyes. "I didn't think so. You're going to stay in that bed, you are going to drink some water, and then you are going to talk to me about what happened last night."

Amanda tried to protest, but Olivia silenced her with a hand.

"That's not an option."

Olivia sat down on the bed next to her, and handed her a bottle of water. "Start at the beginning, Amanda."

"After you left, I got a call from my sister," Amanda sighed. She really didn't want to tell Olivia about Kim, but she didn't want Olivia to think she used drugs either. "She asked me if we could meet up and talk. I said yes."

"So you met up, and got high together?" Olivia asked, her voice questioning.

"No! God, no. When I got there, I realized it was a party. Kim let me walk right into the middle of a rave, Olivia. I found her, and we started talking, next thing I know I'm dizzy and there's a pill down my throat," Amanda bit her lip, trying to keep the tears at bay. "Olivia, I'm so sorry about your grass, I was trying to get home and I must have taken the wrong train, I don't know."

"Amanda, I don't care about the grass. When I saw you," Olivia's voice broke and she turned her head away. Amanda felt horrible. She raised her hand and cupped Olivia's cheek, making the older woman look at her. "Olivia, I'm so sorry."

Her thumb was wiping Olivia's tears away, and all she could think about was how beautiful Olivia looked in that moment. Without thinking, her hand went around to cup the back of Olivia's neck, and she pulled the woman closer. Their eye contact was shooting heat through Amanda's body, and she couldn't look away. Olivia's face was inches from hers, and for a moment, neither of them moved.

Then Amanda leaned forward, and brushed her lips softly against Olivia's mouth. Olivia didn't pull back. Olivia's lips were so warm and soft, Amanda needed more. Her fingers slipped into Olivia's long dark hair, and she pulled Olivia even closer, their lips finally melding together. She groaned at the feel of Olivia's lips. They were so soft, just as perfect as she imagined.

She could feel Olivia's hands on her sides, and she smiled. After a moment she deepened the kiss, swiping her tongue across Olivia's bottom lip. Olivia's hands went away and she pulled back.

"Amanda..."