Sarazuka

That job that Serenity got for us was a bit of a bore and I would have preferred something more exotic and a little wild to let out all that pent up energy for trying to be so conservative all the time. I felt as if maybe I was expecting something, oddly enough, but then again, I suppose I was always waiting for something to make my life worthwhile. And then, worthwhile walked in.

"Doctor Morton!" I exclaimed as he walked in. He knew I worked there but he seemed surprised, probably because he just came in out of necessity and wasn't really thinking about it.

"Serenity! Or is it Sarazuka?"

"How did you know?"

"Sarazuka, then. It's because Anasara is too passive to call me out so cheerfully. It had to be either you or Serenity. How are you?"

"I'm doing okay. We're journaling like you suggested and things seem to be fine."

"Good to hear."

"What can I get you, Doctor?"

"Painkillers, please. I have this enormous headache. It's a little less now, strangely enough. You must be my secret remedy," he replied, winking. I smiled. That's what I liked about Doctor Morton that made me feel so open with him. He never seemed judgemental or disapproving and he was always very casual, friendly and made jokes a lot, too. Around him I felt comfortable. It wasn't really that embarrassing when I told him I'd snuck into a club one night, got in a cage and danced as fiercely as I could, as I wanted. He seemed very receptive to my confession and even laughed about it with me.

I scanned it and he handed the money.

"I really hope you feel better, Doctor. Maybe a relaxing walk will help, too."

"Good idea, Sarazuka. Will you be joining me for this walk, too?"

"If you want."

"I very much enjoy talking to you, Sarazuka, and would be quite honoured if you'd allow me the pleasure."

"Sure thing, Doctor. I'm almost off anyway."

"Serenity! Get out of here, girl. You're shift is over. You deserve a rest," Andi said, appearing from the back room. I took off my apron and folded it, resting it on the counter. Andi slipped it beneath the counter for me and threw me a smile.

"Bye, Andi. Thank you," I called as Doctor and I walked out.

"Bye, hon. See you later."

"Interesting idiosyncrasies you all have, the three of you," Doctor commented once we were out of the street, just walking.

"What do you mean?"

"Your personality is very playful and wild yet you fold your apron carefully. Anasara probably wouldn't do that even though she's the carefully calculating one. I saw it once when she took off her jacket; she just threw it over the back of the chair. Serenity would probably have folded and put the apron away herself, unlike both of you. It's so very fascinating."

"You sure do understand the three of us, don't you Doc?"

"I try. You're all so fascinating in your own ways. Knowing you all is my pleasure."

"Who's your favourite though?" I asked, trying to get under his skin. He laughed.

"Oh, my dear, you know I can't answer that."

"Sure you can. I won't tell."

"I wouldn't feel right. In any case, I don't have favourites."

"Don't lie."

"Behave yourself, Sarazuka. Anyway, how is the journaling going?"

"It's alright but every time I read anything Anasara writes, I get all depressed and stop reading half-way through so I never really know what's going on with her. Serenity on the other hand, she's really honest but she's...it's like she's afraid to feel her emotions in their entirety. I think she's afraid of the force of them because she's pretty weak. Everything she writes feels so subdued."

"Now, now, Sarazuka, no one personality is weaker than the other. Each one just has strengths in different areas. She can be still and tranquil, Anasara can be contemplative and logical and you can be uninhibited and carefree. We shouldn't really speak about them like this. It wouldn't be fair. I'd be giving you more therapeutic time than them."

"So?" He laughed.

"Come now, be fair."

"Oh, alright. Where are you heading, Doctor?"

"Well, I was heading home but for obvious reasons I shouldn't head there now. Will you walk me back to the office then? I have a few things to do."

"Oh, come on, Doctor. Are you that concerned about having me walk you home?"

"You know the policy, Sarazuka."

"Yes, Doctor."

"Is it really alright for you to be away from home like this? No one waiting at home?"

"No, dear. Just the dog." I laughed. Doctor was allergic to dogs. He didn't have one. We reached the office and I pouted once we stopped at the door.

"Aw, man," I complained.

"Don't worry. I'll see you soon enough, Sarazuka."

"I know. But if you ever need just to hang out with someone, feel free to pass by the minimart again."

"Point taken, Sarazuka. I'm going to tidy up a little and go home. You should head home, too. Goodnight, dear."

"Alright. Goodnight, Doctor." I watched him go in and close the door behind him and it really made me wonder where he lived. Then, the wildest thought entered my head.

He came out in about a half hour and I watched him from ample distance as he started to walk again. When I thought he'd gone far enough, I began to follow, sticking close to anything I could hide behind and feeling the adrenaline rush of it. If I was caught, the Doctor could call the police on me or have me assigned to another psychologist. But the dangerous feeling, like at any minute I could get caught, and how wonderful it would be if I didn't get caught made me think that following him would be worth it. It was so wild. Of course I'd be attracted to it.

We didn't do a lot of walking. Soon, he was in his house and he locked the door behind him. I memorised the address and walked away, smiling to myself. I was quite fascinated by the Doctor. If I ever really needed someone to talk to, I knew that Doctor Merton wouldn't turn me away, even if I came to his house. I whistled loudly as I walked in the middle of the road, doing pirouettes every so often.

Luckily for me, I found that Doctor Merton came by quite often for painkillers and other basic needs. I soon learnt that he was a great sufferer of headaches and he admitted on many occasions that being around me seemed to help with the pain. I felt very complimented by that and we often took walks together and just talked shop. It occurred to me that I was getting unhealthily attached to Doctor Merton but a little danger was good for one's life. Following the rules was overrated anyway.

His visits became regular and I was so pleased about that. But then, one night after I walked him to the office and was heading back, a tall, troublesome looking guy approached me. His aura was ominous and I could tell that there was just a bad feeling coming from him.

"Baby, you looking for a ride home?" he said, voice deep and thick and disgusting. It wasn't the seductive type of deep, it was the scum type.

"No, thank you. Goodnight." I tried to step around him and walk away very quickly but just as I'd gotten behind him. He grabbed my arm and turned around.

"Baby, I don't think you get it. I was gracious enough to offer so you're getting a ride home, alright?" It was obvious what he was really talking about—there wasn't a car in sight. I got scared. A little danger was one thing, but this was too much. I just stood there for a few seconds, looking at him and calculating a bit all at one. The suddenly I struck out at his stomach and without a milliseconds lapse, turned on my heel and ran as fast as I could.

My mind was thinking about whether it would be a good idea to go home or if I should have attempted to run to somewhere else. It occurred to me that Doctor Merton's office was closest and I made a split decision to go there. Maybe if the guy saw that I had a guy with me he'd back off. Even if I could just run fast enough to get away from him so he couldn't find me, that would have been fine. Soon enough I got there and I hammered desperately at the door, waiting for him to answer, praying and praying hard that I would be saved and saved soon.

A few seconds later the door opened and I pushed past Doctor Merton with all my strength. Just as I had turned to have him shut the door, I noticed my assailant pulling up the rear.

"Lock the door!" I barked. He obeyed quickly, a questioning look on his face. I ran up the stairs to his office where myself and my other two personalities would sit and be examined and soon after Doctor Merton came behind me.

"Sarazuka, what's the matter?"

"A guy was chasing me and I didn't know where else to go." My voice was flustered and I couldn't stop pacing nervously.

"What did you do? Did you provoke him or anything?"

"No, I didn't provoke him! He just tried to attack me and he was going to rape me and I just hit him and started running as fast as I could. Please don't let him get me, Doctor Merton, please."

"I won't let him get you. Stay here as long as you like." He put a hand on my arm and it managed to reassure me enough to stop my pacing. I took a seat, took a few breaths and after a few moments, I was calm again.

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Just as long as you're safe. Let me go down and check if he's gone."

"NO! Stay here, please! I can't let you get hurt!"

"Alright, dear. There's a back way. We can sneak out quietly and then I'll walk you home."

We ventured carefully out the back entrance and walked carefully. But the bad feeling returned and I became afraid again.

"Doctor, I know I'm asking a lot, but I'm afraid to go home and be alone—"

"Of course you can stay with me for the night, Sarazuka. We can't let anything happen to you, especially since what affects you affects the others, too."

"Really? I'd be so grateful."

"Come on in," he remarked as we reached his door just then. He locked it behind us and then he turned and led me to sit on his plush brown sofa. He wrapped the blanket draped on the back of the couch around me and his arms came around me, to help me get warm and calm again.

"Thank you so much, Doctor Merton. I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you."

"Once you're safe, once you're all safe, I'm fine."

It occurred to me that once again, he was talking about the three of us, like his concern and his company wasn't so much for me. I felt hurt.

"You only care about the three of us together, don't you? One of us isn't any more special that the other, are we?" A confused expression crossed his face.

"What do you mean?"

"All this time, I kind of thought we were bonding and I thought that the fact that I was in danger really was horrible to you. I see that I was wrong now. I'm no more special than the others. Our phenomenon was the only thing that interested you. How could I have been so stupid to fall in love with you?" My tears formed in my eyes and fell as quickly as they came. I felt stupid for feeling that way and felt doubly stupid for having admitted it out loud. I sobbed and felt Doctor Merton's arms tighten around me. I was confused and I looked up at him.

His lips came down on mine unexpectedly and my lips allowed his access out of sheer surprise and my messy emotional state. As an anime character had once said, "It's easy to kiss a crying girl". The kiss was intoxicating to my body that wanted him so much and it made me feel to cry with joy. But I was confused. Content to feel it just for the moment, I let him kiss me.

"Thank goodness," he said once he drew back, holding me to him. "Thank goodness you feel the same way."

"Doctor?" I asked, confused as hell.

"I love you, Sarazuka. Spending time with you had made me realise that you're the wonderful girl I've always been hoping for."

"You...love me?"

"I do, I really do."

He brought his lips back down to mine and I was full of joy that my previous worries escaped completely from my mind. There was only me and him at the moment. Me and him and our mutual emotions and this embrace of arms and lips. My arms wound themselves around his neck and his hands were sliding up and down my back in a soothing, seductive way. Abruptly, he pulled back and I could see the passion dancing in his dark brown eyes. He looked more beautiful than ever with his dark brown hair, his fair skin, his angular face and his almond-shaped eyes. He took my hands in his and looked at me.

"Sarazuka," he said.

"Take me. I'm yours." He smiled and after one more kiss, we stood and he took me by the hand and led me to his bedroom upstairs.

Perhaps it should have bothered me that I was about to give my body to a man sixteen years my senior, but I was in love with him and that negated anything else that could possibly make me think anything but enthusiastic thoughts. He took off his glasses and then took me into his arms once again and let his lips crash down upon mine. He was pushing me back until we contacted with the bed and it took my feet from under me so that I fell on the blanketed softness. He wound his feet with mine and shifted so that we were in the centre of the bed, continuing to kiss my lips for a long moment but then he broke the kiss and began to unbutton my shirt and open it so that he could see my chest.

His lips skimmed over my breasts briefly and then whispered lightly over my stomach, making his way down.

"I'll make you forget everything that scared you tonight," he said softly. He unbuttoned my jeans and unzipped them, kissing the little triangle of skin newly exposed and fuelling the passionate flames I felt for him. He removed my pants from my legs and then got rid of his own sleeveless sweater, belt and shirt. His hands roamed over my legs and I felt my stomach clench. He came back to kiss my lips, his tongue flickering over my lower lip ever so often. His hands were working to get behind me to the clasp of my bra and after a few tries, it came free and he freed me from its cover and its sight. Just as soon as the barrier was gone, his lips came to cover one peak and a moan escaped my lips, rocking me with sweet, sensational pleasure.

"My beautiful Sarazuka," he whispered as he switched his mouth to the other. My hands were around his biceps and I was clutching him tightly, feeling like if I was to let go, I would fall and drown in the pure, pleasurable river and lose myself.

After he had deemed himself done with my chest, his lips ventured to my neck while he pressed his hips to mine, revealing to me that he was just about as ready as I was for him. I gasped with the sensation and my head turned to the other side as a reflex, away from the immaculate creature on top of me, sweetly torturing my body. I forced my head to flick back and I drank in the sight of his body covering mine, all the hard, smooth, chiselled lines that made him up.

"Doctor," I gasped.

"Right now I don't want to be your doctor. Call me as you would your lover. Call me Aran." He stopped to look me in the eye and I smiled at him and tried out the sound of his name on my lips. He seemed to like it and kissed my lips in response. His hips contacted with mine again and it occurred to me that we weren't yet naked. As if reading my mind, he bent down and removed his and mine and allowed our bare skin to touch as he covered me again. He went back for my lips and feeling every spot where our bodies were up against each other, touching sweetly, seductively, heated and getting moist, it drove me crazy. Just as soon as he released my lips, I said, "Aran, take me now. Please. I can't wait."

His arms came around me again and held me tightly for a moment, kissing my lips again but then I felt him at my entrance, slowing slipping in. It hurt. My body was trying to stretch to accommodate him, but I realised that the pain was bearable and I had thought that it would have hurt more, especially when he broke me. Soon, he was within me as much as he could go and I cried out, in pain and pleasure swirling so entirely that I couldn't see the line anymore between them. I opened my eyes that had shut all by themselves and he was looking at me with a concerned look on his face, probably realising that I was in pain.

"It won't hurt much longer," he promised. His hands drifted down my arms and he wove his fingers with mine as he withdrew again for quick re-entry. The pain was becoming evidently less and the pleasure was beginning to take the reins, forcing another cry from me as he filled me completely. His rhythm was slow and sweet, my body getting the entirety of the sensation of him being in me, feeling him at every point, feeling exposed and not afraid and absorbing the heady sensation.

Eventually his name became my chant and his response was mine in return, the sounds of our names blending together in the air as the sensation of pain dissipated and purest pleasure taking its place. We reached the height, feeling him more than ever, yet wanting him still more than ever while being drowned wonderfully by the pure ecstasy washed over me again and again. When finally he withdrew, he remained where he was atop me, hands still intertwined and I was happy. Purely and utterly happy.

After we caught our breaths, he looked at me with a look of pure and utter appreciation and care and I smiled back at him. He unlaced his fingers from mine and placed himself to the side of me, his hand drifting to me hip and resting.

"And how does that make you feel?" he asked, chuckling. I came closer and snuggled to his chest, closing my eyes and tired from the excitement of the evening.

"Very, very good, Doctor Aran. Very, very good."

"I'm glad."

"And you? How does that make you feel?"

"Undeniably euphoric."

"I'm glad."

"This might complicate things as your psychologist, though."

"I don't care. We'll think about that later. Right now, let's just rest." He kissed my forehead.

"Yes, let's just rest."