Everyday Moments Of Perfection

A/N: Hope everyone had a great Christmas! I'm so happy because I got a Swarovski necklace, so I decided to update… :). Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

This little drabble is about the first time that Alice slipped. Because it's not just Jazz who has trouble, no matter how much glossing over that fact Stephenie Meyer might do.

Alice looked at her hands.

They were crimson.

Alice just stared at them, her eyes empty and blank; just watching the scarlet liquid congeal and drip off her hand with a poignant blankness that she didn't understand. She felt her shoulders shudder as sadness overcame her. But she couldn't cry – she couldn't ever cry.

That was the first time Alice cursed the day she became a vampire.

That was the first time Alice ever called herself a monster.

She stared at the limp body in front of her, the child's eyes just as blank as hers, staring up into the midnight sky with unseeing eyes, still wide with dying horror. The child's face was ghostly pale, as white as Alice herself. Her golden curls were matted with dried blood, her neck twisted at a strange angle, the bone snapped in two with one careless flick of Alice's finger, with one single moment when Alice had lost control.

The red and white striped skipping rope lay useless; still entwined in the girl's hands.

The child had skipped past Alice, completely innocent with a large toothy smile on her face, completely unaware of the danger she was in. Alice had been on her own, going from the car to the woods to hunt, and she had turned around.

The girl's scent had hit her in the face like a ten-tonne truck.

The rest had been a blur apart from the sweet sensation of the clawing burning in her throat dying, like putting ice-cold water to a fire. And afterwards there was the extreme regret and sadness for this one human life, snuffed out as easily as a candle flame by her hands.

Alice was scared of herself. Her little finger could kill a human being. Could end a human's life forever.

As she stared at them, her hands shook with this sudden realisation, and Alice froze, refusing to move a muscle, her eyes focusing on her hands and not moving from them, as if they would suddenly jump up and attack her.

Alice cried silent, waterless tears as her crimson eyes filled with grief.

~oOo~

That was how Jasper found her.

He took in the girl's limp body and Alice's shaking form in one sweeping glance and pieced together what had happened with his analytical mind. Not to mention he could feel the grief and regret emanating from her tiny form miles away. In a second, he was at her side.

Alice flinched away from his touch as he stretched out his arms to her.

She barely registered the brief look of hurt and shock on his face and croaked, "No. Don't come near me, Jasper. I'm a monster."

Jasper shook his head instantly. "No, Alice. Never."

Alice's head turned to fix Jasper with a stare that was filled with rage, revealing her scarlet-hued eyes to his golden ones. "I killed a human being. A child. How can you even stand to be near me?! I can't stand to be near myself!"

Jasper looked at Alice with pity as she crawled away from him, towards the trees. He was a blur of speed, catching her before she could disappear and cradling her in his arms.

"Alice, you're the most beautiful, wonderful, strongest person I know. You slipped up, it happens. Yes, you'll grieve for her, it's natural, but I will always love you and protect you, no matter what you do."

Alice just looked at Jasper as if he had grown another head and struggled to release herself from his grasp. He held her gently, but firmly in his stony arms, clasping them around her and muttering, "No, Alice. It's okay…it's okay…."

"It's not okay!" Alice screamed, falling against Jasper and trying to push him away, but her arms weakened with every push until eventually she slumped against him, dry-sobbing into his chest, her arms conversely locking around him tightly, like an anchor.

Jasper whispered with emotion as he held her to him with crushing strength, "You were always there for me when I slipped, Alice. Through all my moods and tantrums and grief… you were always there. And now you think I'm going to let you go? You think you're a monster?" Jasper looked at her with an intensity Alice had never seen in his tawny eyes before, and she could hear his voice waver with the strength he put into his tone, his Southern accent emerging, "Not a chance in hell."

Alice met his eyes, then pulled Jasper to her tighter, sobbing into him.

Jasper held Alice all through the night, until the stars faded with Alice's sobs and the sky turned pink, signalling the imminent sunrise.

They stayed for a few more minutes, Alice clawing at the earth with her hands. Jasper tried to help, but Alice refused to let him, so he just stood and watched her.

At dawn, they stood, hands clasped firmly in each others', one strong and ice-white, the other small and brown with dirt, and walked away from the rough, unmarked grave of the child, into the woods.

Hope you liked the little look at Alice's first slip-up. Once again, I hope you had a good Christmas and Happy New Year!

Raven. x