What the heck was my brother's archenemy doing at my door so late in the night? And why was he being so familiar with me? He seemed like he seriously hated all of us from our little group. I hadn't known him well but he didn't seem very friendly to me and since my brother didn't like him very much, I tried not to get involved with him too much. I would have loved to be friends with him, only Kaiba seemed like the kind of guy who didn't care much for having friends.

"I thought we could go out for a little stroll tonight. I knew I said I'd call yesterday but things got kind of crazy and I didn't want you to think I'd abandoned you," he replied.

"Um, I'm not dressed," I replied, puzzled beyond belief. Why on Earth would Kaiba want to take a stroll with me? For a brief second I noticed his eyes on my legs and the look of appreciation there before his eyes returned to mine.

"Can I come inside, then?" I stepped aside purely out of courtesy. My mother had always taught me not to leave people at my door, even if I didn't want to speak with them. I closed the door behind him and he turned and stood there in the tiny foyer.

"Um, how do you know where I live?"

"Well, I did a tiny bit of investigating. You never really formally gave me your address so I figured since you'd already seen where I lived and what was going on, I should know where you lived." He stroked his thumb over my cheek but before I could lean out of his hand, he dropped it.

Nothing he was saying was making any sense and for a moment, I wondered if I was having one of those crazy dreams that weren't supposed to be making any sense at all.

"Serenity, who was it?" Duke asked, walking in, wearing just his pants. My face coloured immediately and I noticed the betrayed look flash onto Kaiba's face, though I couldn't ascertain why. "What the hell is he doing here?"

"I'd like to ask the same question," Kaiba replied, voice and eyes utterly cold. My head was starting to spin. The phone rang. "Let it ring. I deserve an explanation and they can leave a message." I was frozen in place, confused as to what right Kaiba had to be here and to be angry. The phone rang again. "I'm waiting."

"She doesn't have to answer you," Duke shouted at him.

"And she has to answer you?" The phone rang for the final time and the voicemail message played. 'You've reached Serenity Wheeler. Please leave a message after the tone'. Beep.

"Sarazuka, it's Doctor Aran. I wanted to know if I could come over for a bit. We didn't really do a lot of talking in bed last night about what we would do next so I thought we could try to sort that out ASAP. Please call me as soon as you get this message, and I hope you documented so that Serenity and Anasara know. This will come as quite a shock if you don't. I love you. See you later."

My knees contacted with the floor as I sank down. I couldn't look at either of their faces or at my own self. I just looked at the floor through my now tear-filled eyes. I knew what was going on now. That was what I got for having neglected to read my journal for the week. I shouldn't have gotten so caught up in my own life. I knew I hadn't been in control Sunday or Monday. I knew it was dangerous. But still I was stupid.

"Serenity, what on Earth is going on? Who's Sarazuka and Anasara and why do they need to know about you and some Doctor Aran? Have you been sleeping with him?" Duke asked.

"Anasara? You told me that was a name closer to you than Serenity when you were screwing me. Was that some kind of ridiculous joke? Do you use different names with all your bed partners?" Kaiba said, voice chastising and frozen.

"No freaking way. She's been fucking all three of us?" Duke asked.

"Seems so. I knew something was up with you having changed so much. I was such a fool. You thought it would be a fun game to give me your virginity and then just screw the rest of people in town after you told me you loved me?"

"She told you she loved you?" Duke shouted. "Wait, virginity? You broke her?"

"She told you the same thing, didn't she? Wow. What a whore. I can't believe I was tricked by you. Seems that looks can certainly be deceiving."

My mind didn't want to process what they were saying but it did. Each of the bits and pieces were fitting together, without me having read my journal. It seemed that Anasara and Sarazuka had been neglecting to write everything honestly in the journal. And I, who had been sleepy so many nights hadn't been paying closer attention, even though I of all people knew that they could play games when they were ready. They had taken it too far this time, playing with my heart, the hearts of three men and my body. My lips couldn't protest.

A knock sounded at the door and, for the sake of fanciful thinking, I wished it was Death himself come to claim me. How could I live knowing what I had done, what they had done as me?

"Serenity, Sarazuka, Anasara, it's Doctor Aran Morton. I'm coming in, alright?" The door opened and we all looked to see Doctor Morton come through the door. It took him all of two seconds to look around and assess the scene. "Serenity?"

The tears began pouring out of my eyes and I wished that death would come to claim me. I didn't care how; I had already shamelessly allowed three men to claim me one after the other, one way or another.

"So, you're the second man she's been with, huh?" Kaiba said, dully.

"What's going on here?" Doctor Morton asked.

"It seems the person we thought was Serenity has been telling us all that she loves us and then getting us to nail her."

"Wait a minute. You're Seto Kaiba. And that's Duke Devlin. And, I've not been with Serenity, I've been with Sarazuka."

"What does she have to do with us?" Doctor Morton looked back at me and the tears never stopped falling from my eyes. Who I was, who I hoped to be, who I had been was all ruined thanks to those three people I was. I should have killed myself when I had the chance, when no one knew and when no one was hurt.

"Serenity, you never told them, did you?" Doctor Morton asked. I had to get out of their sights. I had to get to that journal. I had to get to the bottom of this and hope that those two disgusting other selves of mine had told the entire truth. I forced myself to my feet and ran into my bedroom, locking the door behind me.

"Serenity," the three voices called behind me.

"Just leave me alone. I need to know the truth," I shouted through the door, going for the journal.

"Serenity, I'll explain to these two boys," Doctor Morton said.

"You know what's going on?" Kaiba asked.

"I'm afraid I'm the only other person besides Serenity that knows the truth. See, I'm here psychiatrist."

"And you've been screwing her? That's not very professional, Doc," Kaiba retorted.

"Say what you want. You don't seem to understand it yet."

"Then spill. You can't freaking leave us hanging when we all find out we've been having sex with the same girl. She just put on an expression like she doesn't know," Duke interjected.

Meanwhile they were arguing, I flipped through the pages with Sarazuka and Anasara's writings, trying to look at them through the filter of what I knew now.

Mon Oct 11 - Anasara

I had an unexpected customer today. We had a stroll and despite his usually bitchy attitude, he's probably just misunderstood, I realise. We had a walk and we talked about a few things and for some reason, I felt like I actually wanted to see him again. I wonder if he'll come by the minimart again.

Tues Oct 12 - Sarazuka

Doctor Morton came in for painkillers today and he joked about me being his secret cure. I must say I kind of liked that but Doctor Morton is such a flirt sometimes I can't be sure if he's serious. We had a bit of a walk and I did something rather fun but then I walked him to the office because I was so bored and there was about nothing else to do. I wonder if...

"She didn't know, it seems. Sarazuka and Anasara are alternate personalities of Serenity. She's been schizophrenic for ten months now," Doctor Morton said.

"You're kidding," Kaiba said.

"Oh, shit. You mean—" Duke exclaimed.

"Each personality must have singled us out. Serenity must not have been paying close attention to her journal. Tell me, exactly what happened. I'll start with you, Kaiba." As I read, my mind processed what I already knew, what I had brushed off and ignored stupidly. And as I read, I heard Doctor Morton explaining what I had tried so hard to keep hidden. If only I had prevented the problem. If only...

Fri Oct 15 - Anasara

He came in again today and I was pretty pleased. He's not all that bad as people think. We talked quite a lot since he came after work and I found out some rather interesting things about him. Serenity shouldn't mind me having a conversation with him, it's not like he knows it's not her anyway. But still, I feel just a tad bit guilty for deceiving him. He might be an amazing tin man but I don't think that heart of ice could handle the truth. I really shouldn't make this more than this, though it's nice to have a friend.

Sat Oct 16 - Sarazuka

So, I saw the Doctor again today. We had a casual conversation. Teasing him is so fun. He teases me right back and he knows everything I'm thinking because he's my psychologist. He's really interesting.

Mon Oct 18 - Anasara

Talking to people you can relate to is always nice. If only I could do it more often...

Wed Oct 2o - Sarazuka

I find it so odd how people get headaches so much. I've never really had one so I don't know what it's like. Maybe it's their jobs. How strange. Or maybe the headaches are the excuse to come into the minimart. I suppose I'll never know that either.

I had passed them off as cryptic little messages that I couldn't understand and to some extent I was right. Only now that I knew what I knew did any of it really make any sense. They had each been seeing Kaiba and Dr. Morton frequently, developing close relationships. Closer than was comfortable. Closer than I liked.

Fri Oct 22 – Anasara

I can give a guess as to why I've been making more regular appearances these past few weeks. It's like I want to be here.

Like there's nothing wrong with being here. Like I'm a real person.

Maybe I wish I had a body of my own.

Tues Oct 26 – Sarazuka

We've been with Doctor Morton a long time now. He seems to care a lot about us. He's a really good doctor. But he needs some more free time. Perhaps with someone.

Wed Oct 27 – Sarazuka

I really don't hate the minimart anymore.

Fri Oct 29 – Anasara

Sorry, Serenity. I have somewhere to go on Sunday so you definitely won't be in control. Neither will you, Sarazuka. Just so you know.

Sun Oct 30 – Anasara

So this is what love feels like. I can't believe I gave into something so illogical, so sudden, so...irresponsible...so delicious. I was hanging out with Kaiba today and he took me home. I never knew skin could feel so good, that pain could feel that good. Call me irresponsible for using a body that's not just mine any way I wanted but I have a right to live just as much as the other two do. I have a right to know what sex with someone you love feels like. Never mind I deprive Serenity and Sarazuka of knowing what it feels like to give up your virginity to someone. I can tell them all about it. I have no regrets. At least I'm sparing them the pain for when they want to get into someone's bed.

Something exploded inside of me and the tears came before I could do anything to stop them. Anasara had wilfully destroyed me, knowing full well that I didn't want to do anything of the sort. Her notes were cryptic and almost secretive. How in hell was I supposed to realise what was going on? Doctor Morton hadn't known anything about her relationship with Kaiba either. That malicious bitch had whored me out.

Mon Nov 1 – Sarazuka

There is no point to lying. Serenity is going to want to know. I was nearly attacked by some idiot today and Doctor Morton rescued me. He allowed me to stay at his house and after a bit of confusion, he told me that he loved me. When I saw that look in his eye, that sheer desire, I knew I had to let him take me. I always thought it would hurt more. Either my other two thirds had done something very reckless and not said a thing, or I'm just a natural at this...My glance at the preceding page tells me that it is the former. And if Anasara is taking the love that she wants, so am I. Aran's hands all over me made me melt. It was the best feeling in the world.

I dropped the book on the bed and turned to the door, slamming my fist against it as I cried, in turmoil, in pain, hating who I became every time Serenity blacked out. How could they do this to me? They knew it would kill me. Why did they do it? It was simple. They had said it themselves. They thought they deserved lives of their own.

"But you don't have your own lives!" I shouted at nothing.

I looked in the mirror, seeing the two sides of my face as halves of the faces of those damn parasites that were eating my life.

"I hate you. Both of you. You ruined my life." The last thing I thought I saw was them just smiling malevolently at me right before I blacked out.

Anasara

I stepped out of the room and closed the door behind me, the noise alerting my three guests to my emergence. They had been silent. I smirked at them. They had no shitting idea what was going on. They couldn't handle it. Except maybe Doctor Morton. I took a seat on the three-seat couch, on the other side from Doctor Morton. I gave Duke a long stare but then focused my attention on Kaiba. His expression was stony but I could tell he was so confused beneath it.

"You don't love me very much now that you know I'm a schizo that screwed two other guys, do you? No, you only liked me when I was the changed Serenity. Love really does stand for nothing in this world," I said to him, smirk still in place. His eyes narrowed for a second.

"You can't make a judgement like that," Kaiba said. "For someone who knows me so well, Anasara, you certainly gauged me wrong." I laughed.

"Be serious, Kaiba. You can't still try to profess that you love me."

"Why not?" Doctor Morton interrupted. I shot him a sharp look.

"Stay out of this. This is between me and him," I snapped, my attention reverting to Kaiba. "I'm nothing like you were ever expecting to deal with. Now you know I've lied to you by pretending to be Serenity so long. People hate to be lied to."

"In that case, you lied when you said it back to me since you did lie," he replied.

"No, I meant it. I wasn't lying to you. Everything I said to you in your bed, as you sank yourself into me and my tangled web, I meant it all. I just didn't tell you because Serenity like the brave idiot that she is tried to hide her condition from everyone. Only Doctor Morton knew. Every Saturday, he'd have the honour of speaking to the three of us. We come out whenever we want. She's not really in control. She may have been born Serenity, but it is Anasara and Sarazuka that really control this body. She is useless."

"Don't say that about her!" Duke interjected. I smiled sharply at him.

"Hearing the truth about the girl you screwed with isn't fun, isn't it? You're probably too weak to handle this anyway. None of you are. You should stay away from her. Your precious little Serenity that we get packaged with, she's nothing but trouble."

"What do you mean by saying that?" Doctor Morton asked.

"I mean they are both useless and I wish they'd just dissolve. I was not meant to be a part-time person."

"That's a selfish thing to say, Anasara," Kaiba said.

"You don't get by in the world by being generous, Kaiba. You know that. If you don't take what you can, you'll be nothing. You won't hear me apologising for anything, you know. I'm glad I came into existence, glad I met Kaiba, glad I fell for him and glad I let him fuck me until my brain went numb. Whether or not you men got used property is not my problem—"

I would have said more, I would have let out all the venom I had built up, but I felt my conscience slipping. If Serenity hated us, fine. We hated her right back, or at least I did. She was keeping me from my life. And at this point, I had come to just not tolerate that anymore.

Sarazuka

When I took over, we were in the living room and the guys were giving me this wary look like I was a murderer or something. Even Aran was looking at me strangely. It was funny so I giggled.

"Let me guess," I began, "Anasara said too much again, didn't she? She can be so selfish when she wants. It's a shocker that she tried to save Serenity for so long, when all this time she's been wanting to bust out and do what she wants, walk on the wild side." I looked at Aran and smiled. "Like fall for someone and make love."

"You're Sarazuka, then," Duke said.

"Ding, ding, ding. Smart boy. I can see why Serenity would like you. You're so wild and free, nothing like she is. It's what she secretly wants to be, but, no, she thinks she must box herself up in a cage and control everything. She needs to learn to let go."

"I've already told you, Sarazuka. It's not her personality type. She can't do what she's not comfortable with," Aran replied, his expression loosening. I chuckled.

"But she's got three different personalities to take from. What more can she want?" He shook his head at me and half-smiled.

"It doesn't work like that, dear. She's not you or Anasara."

"Maybe she should be me."

"Sarazuka."

"Oh, alright. This is her body, first and foremost. Sure, I break the rules all the time. I go clubbing, I dance in cages and I went to bed with you. But she knew that was bound to happen sometime so shame on her. The most surprising thing is that Anasara of all personalities would beat me to it. Serenity would have done it just to spite me."

"She trusted you, that's why. You just saw it fit to break that trust."

"You weren't complaining when I was in your arms, Doctor," I teased.

"Because you convinced me to let it go. Being in love with you is dangerous."

"Danger is the spice of life. Maybe I should let Serenity get a word in. She's the one taking this hardest."

"You thought she wouldn't?" Kaiba asked cuttingly. I just smiled at him.

"She's weak. She never handles anything well." Before Aran could object, I willed myself back into the subconscious and let Serenity take the wheel. It was her mess to clean up anyway. That was the price she'd pay for secrecy.

Serenity

When I regained consciousness, I found myself among my three former bed partners and all the animosity, shame and anguish returned. I brought my knees up and ducked my head but I knew they deserved answers and apologies. The tears cascaded from my eyes, bitter, angry tears that stung as they left my eyes. I raised my head and wiped the tears from my eyes before looking at them.

"I'm so sorry. All of you. I shouldn't have let this happen. I should have kept away from all of you. I should have been more careful. I should not have let them do as they pleased. I should have taken those pills even if they made me sick. I should have controlled them better," I said, each regret-filled work sticking the stake of shame further into my heart.

"You couldn't have done anything about it, Serenity. This isn't your fault," Duke said.

"It is my fault! I knew they were dangerous and unstable. I knew they had to be kept away from the world. Instead, I opted to try to control them without using the treatment. All that journaling and counselling did was confuse me more."

"Serenity, you need to calm down. Everything will be alright," Doctor Morton said.

"Nothing will ever be alright. I have done a great injustice to all of you by making you fall for people who aren't even real."

"They are real—" Doctor Morton began to protest.

"They aren't real. I'm not real either. People who share a body can't all be real. They're all just elaborate problems."

"Serenity—"

"I don't want to hear anymore, Doctor Morton. I'm sorry for all the trouble we've caused. I would like all of you to leave now."

I forced myself up and headed for the door and held it open. They got up to follow, reluctant and determined.

"You can't run from this, Serenity. You have to deal with it properly," Kaiba said.

"I won't talk about this anymore. Please just leave." They began filtering through the door, probably realising that I couldn't take it anymore. As soon as he was the last one through the door, Kaiba turned.

"This isn't over," he said. I slammed the door in his face and locked it, letting my pure grief take me as tears and sobs shook me. I was in control, not them. I would do now what I knew I should have done so long ago.

I headed to my room before the others got any bright ideas and picked up the orange bottle of pills. There were about twenty pills in there. One everyday was the dose. Had I taken them every day, my body would have become acclimatised to the agony eventually, right?

I went to the kitchen and thankfully found a half bottle of wine from the last time Joey had been here nearly four months ago. Apparently, all this time, Anasara and Sarazuka had taken me for a fool, controlling me and giving me grants of freedom. They made me think I had them under control until my control was taking from them the thing they really wanted. I poured a full glass and looked at the bottle. I could start tomorrow.

I drank half the glass of the dry wine and felt how utterly unpleasant it felt to drink all that it one go. It couldn't compare to how unpleasant it was to live with two other people pretending to be you. My eyes hit that bottle again.

Why start tomorrow what you can start today?

I opened the bottle and tipped it into my hand. Six came out. I jiggled them in my hand and heard them hit one another. One a day, the label said.

I threw back my head and flung them into my mouth and took a big gulp of wine with it.

Why try to fix problems when you can just eliminate them?

I tipped the bottle into my hand again, another eight spilling out and in seconds they were making their way down my throat with a rich helping of red wine. My glass was almost empty.

I poured the last six into my hand and held in the other the glass once the pill bottle was on the floor. I looked at my pitiful reflection in my blackened TV screen and held up the glass.

"Cheers, bitches." When the last of the pills was gone, I headed to the medicinal cabinet and smiled upon the bottle of drowsy cold syrup I had. I brought it back to the living room with me and poured its contents into my wine glass, drinking all of it in one go. Hell, here I come. I was already there now, anyway. I finished off the bottle of wine, its taste not as horrible because of the remnant drops of cold syrup in the glass. Unfortunately, that was the last bit of alcohol I had in the house. I started feeling sleepy and I laughed, the delirium catching up to me.

I was in control. No doubt about it this time. I lay down on the couch, mind getting foggy, staring up at the ceiling and patches of memory I'd never seen before came up. Kaiba laying on top of me, hips pressed hard onto mine. Doctor Morton kissing my stomach.

"You sluts had a real good time. Good for you." My mind continued to cloud, taking my vision with it and memories of the sweet touches of my most beloved Duke came to mind. It occurred to me briefly that when Joey found out that I was dead, he'd be heartbroken. But Mai would make all that go away in due time. Once he didn't know the whole truth. While we were taking turns to be selfish, it occurred to me that I should not have cared if he found out. I was about to fall unconscious, about to leave the world that would be better off without my nuisance and I began to feel a dire sense of happiness. I was in control. I was doing good. I was also high on medication. I laughed a small laugh, lost in euphoria and feeling that I was just about to fall over the edge. Falling, falling, falling.

Hell, here we come.