CHAPTER 2: I'M HOME

I opened my eyes and found myself in a meadow. I knew this place, it was where Dean took me on our first date. I closed my eyes and breathed in.

"Cas," I heard. I opened my eyes and turned quickly around to see Dean. I started to cry and then threw myself at him. He opened his arms to catch me and pulled me into a hug. Tears flowed freely down my face, and Dean pressed my head farther into his chest for his shirt to catch my tears.

"I'm sorry," I cried, "I'm so sorry! I couldn't live without you!" I sobbed and grabbed onto his shit and pressed myself impossibly closer to him. I continued to cry and repeat how sorry I was; and Dean let me. He swayed us and held onto me tightly, whispering soothing words into my ear. Dean pulled away enough to look into my tear drenched eyes. He smiled and leaned into kiss me. I pulled him down faster than I had expected and our teeth hit; neither of us seemed to care though. I sure as heck didn't. Dean pulled away smiling.

"No!" I whimpered. He laughed and I stared at him. More tears slid down my face. Dean saw and immediately wiped them away and cupped my face. He looked into my eyes.

"Cas, hey, what's wrong?" He asked me softly. I shook my head and hugged him, resting my head in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around me in return and rested his cheek against my head.

"I just missed you so god damn much, Dean. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, everything I did reminded me of you. Every move I made hurt. I could feel the hole in my chest expand every second of the day and every time my heart beat it caused me physical pain. Dean," I lifted my head to look in his eyes, "that night, when Michael shot you he killed two people. I'm not alive if you're not; if you're alive, so am I. I just can't live without you." I cried and buried my head back into his neck. I felt Dean wrap his hand around the back of my thighs and lifted my legs up and around his waist.

"It's okay, Cas," Dean soothed me. I tightened my legs around his waist and snaked my arms around his neck. He bent down and put his hands out to break the tiny fall he had to make to sit down. I shook myself with a sob and Dean squeezed his arms around me, "Cas it's okay. I'm not mad at you," Dean tried to calm me down. I kissed his neck making him chuckle. He unwrapped my legs and laid me down on him. Our legs fell in a pattern: his, mine, his, and then mine.

"Dean, I missed you so much. I felt so empty without you," I whispered. I put my head on his chest right where his heart was and heard a bump bump bump. I smiled and closed my eyes. Dean rubbed my back and played with my fingers on my right hand.

"I know, I was pretty lonely up here without you. But I had an advantage, I could see you whenever I wanted to. I wanted to get a message to you to tell you I was okay and that you should move on from me but—" Dean started. I cut him off by sitting up to straddle his waist. He watched me and put his hand on my hips. I waited until he looked into my eyes.

"Dean, there was no way I would ever move on from you. Nor would I want to," I told him. He sat up too, moving his hands behind him to lean back on.

"I knew you would say that," he smiled, "but it doesn't matter now, were together and that's all that matters." Dean ended it with a kiss. I moved my hand to cup his face and he moved his to my waist. We kissed and in flurry of movement that I couldn't help but feel a bit dizzy with, I was looking up into his green eyes. I smiled and moved my hand to Where his neck and shoulder met. I was lost in his eyes and didn't see he was crying until I felt a tear his my cheekbone. I brought one hand up to his cheek. He moved his head to my hand.

"Dean?" I asked. He brought one hand up to cup the hand I had on his cheek.

"I'm sorry," he said and blinked rapidly to clear the tears. "I just missed you. So freaking much, Cas." he chuckled, "I can't tell you how much I wanted to come back and wrap my arms around you and tell you everything was okay." He leaned down and kissed me passionately. I kissed back and let every emotion that I had bottled up inside me for the past year flow into him; he did the same for me. We continued to kiss for a while when he pulled away suddenly and smiled.

"What?" I asked. His smile grew.

"Just think: it's you and me; forever. We can do whatever we want whenever we want. We can go visit family, friends, hell—We can even go to Europe if we wanted to." Dean told me. I smiled at him.

"Forever?" I asked. He smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, forever." he confirmed. His smiled softened and he searched my eyes, "but for now, it's just us." He whispered and kissed me. I kissed back hungrily and things escalated and we were lost in love, passion, and bliss. I was half asleep on Dean's chest afterwards; he was playing with my fingers again and humming some random tune.

"I love you, Dean." I said lifting my head to rest my chin on his chest and looking in his eyes. He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I love you, too, Cas." He said. I smiled sleepily and lifted myself to kiss him on the lips. "It's you and me, Cas..." He whispered against my lips.

"Forever?" I asked.

"And for always." He replied. I smiled widely and put my head back down on his chest, right above his heart and was lulled into sleep, happier than I had been in forever, by the beat of his heart.