Everyday Moments Of Perfection

A/N: Well… hehe. Thank you VERY much to all my lovely reviewers, even though I can't list you—stupid FF rules—I still love every one of you, and you know who you are! Giant Emmett bear-hug for all of you. ;)

Anyway, this is another 'missing moment' and it's basically Jasper right after Bella's birthday party in New Moon when he runs away from the house. For this one I've put in some song lyrics at the beginning because they are just SO perfect for Jasper in this, I think, anyway. And it's a great song. Totally recommend listening to it. :)


~oOo~

"I disappear,
I lost control,
My body's moving, all on it's own.
I watch myself walk away,
A foreign spirit took my place."

"An empty stare, its eyes are dull,
So my essence, it's riding my pulse.
A burst of black, a breath of smoke.
I disappeared,
I lost control."

—'I Disappear' by The Faint.

~oOo~

Jasper put his head in his hands. He sighed—the sound was torn and ragged. What have I done?

He barely remembered the event; it was as if someone else had taken over his body, leaving only a blur in his memories, though the scents and sounds remained disgustingly distinct in his mind. Jasper couldn't comprehend how it had happened. The atmosphere had been warm, friendly and completely calm one second, and then in the next… total disaster. A single paper cut had nearly destroyed their family, and it was all his fault.

The scent had hit him head-on, he had been utterly unprepared for it. It was fresh, and right there in front of his face…

Jasper looked up. He had ran, as far and as fast as he could. How could he go back? How could he ever look any of his family in the face again? Even if Edward didn't try and rip him limb from limb, he couldn't bear the look of disappointment on his family's faces. Oh, look, Jasper's gone and slipped up again… it was only a matter of time…

Jasper felt like screaming. As it was, he settled for punching the ground, a loud crack resounding into the woods on his left as his fist left a huge dent in the earth. Birds flew furiously into the air, cawing indignantly at the loud interruption.

And Bella. Jasper had tried so hard to keep his distance for her sake. He had tried harder than he had ever tried before to resist. For his brother, and for Alice, who already loved her as a sister. Jasper felt pain running through him. He had failed. And Bella had nearly paid the ultimate price.

Jasper growled loudly. How could he have been so stupid? Alice had told him it would be okay, that everything would run smoothly, and as a result, Jasper had allowed himself to relax a little. Just ever so slightly… So stupid! Jasper berated himself.

What was he going to do?

How could he return, and apologise? To any of them?

So sorry that I nearly ripped you apart and drained your blood until you died, Bella. Huh, I'm such a little rascal, aren't I?! Let's hug and move on, shall we?

Somehow… Jasper didn't think so.

Jasper ran his hands through his hair, and gazed out towards the cliffs. He could hear and smell the sea, even from the woods. The waves crashed against the rocks, creating a strangely peaceful sound. Jasper closed his eyes and just listened for a few minutes, trying to calm the turbulence within him. He opened his eyes and sighed when he smelled her scent on the wind. Alice was heading his way.

Jasper didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he could bear the anger and disappointment she was sure to bring, but on the other hand, Jasper didn't want to anger her further by running. So instead, he chose to wait.

Half a minute later, he heard the sound of the leaves rustling as Alice shot past them, coming to a halt behind him. Jasper just waited for the sharp reprove he was certain was coming. He gasped quietly in surprise, when he felt gentle arms wind around his neck from behind, as Alice stood on tiptoes to place a tender kiss on the back of his neck.

"Are you okay?" she whispered.

Jasper just blinked. "Am I okay? Alice… I… Is Bella okay?" Jasper realised that when he had ran, the last thing he remembered was Bella falling, and there was glass…

"She's fine," Alice said, still speaking quietly. Jasper turned around to face her, and saw the sincerity in her eyes. "Carlisle's stitching her up."

Jasper's eyes shifted guiltily, and Alice placed a finger under his chin, leaning in to fix his gaze onto hers.

"You know she doesn't blame you, Jazz."

Jasper looked away. "She should."

"But she doesn't," Alice said simply. "She insisted I tell you that. Even while Carlisle was taking the glass out of her arm, that was what she said to me."

Jasper whispered, "What about the others? What about… you?"

"Oh, Jasper," Alice whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. Jasper clasped her to him, taking in her scent. "I don't blame you. It was my fault… I should have seen that-"

"No," Jasper said fiercely. "No game of mea culpa now, Alice. This was my fault. Mine. My loss of control. My… demons."

"Jasper… the others don't blame you. And Edward… well, he'll come around," Alice said, trying to soften the blow.

Jasper sighed. "I'd guessed that Edward wouldn't be too happy right about now."

Alice looked deep into Jasper's eyes. "Look… your eyes are still golden. My wonderful deep, brilliant gold. You didn't kill her. You didn't drink her blood. You didn't slip, Jasper."

"But I nearly-"

"Nearly… isn't the same. The point is you didn't. If you had, then yes, Edward would have every right to be furious, to want to rip your head from your body. Not that I'd let him," Alice winked, "But the point is… he doesn't. Because… You. Didn't. Kill. Her."

"I tried so hard, Alice," Jasper whispered, his voice raw. The tone brought sadness to Alice's deep tawny eyes. She pulled him closer, bringing her lips to his in a short, but sweet kiss.

"I know," she whispered, her voice equally husky with emotion.

That was enough for Jasper. Right then, he didn't want to try and prove himself to anyone else. He couldn't. But she knew.

She knew how hard he'd tried.

Alice held him closer. There was nothing else she could do. She closed her eyes, even as a new sadness crept up within her. Alice knew the consequences of this would be far-reaching. But all she could think about in that moment was comforting Jasper.

He needed her right then.

Tomorrow could wait.

A/N: Well, that was the missing New Moon moment. Hope you guys liked it! Remember to reeeeeview, and you'll still get a personal review reply from me. Stupid FF rules!!!! Gah!

Much love, Raven. x