Ever since N left the monastery a second time she had become numb to it all. Overwhelmed by emotion Maya shut down. She pushed everyone away. Most days she could be found in the library, mediating or the occasional walk.

Pulling a book off of the self Maya looks at the cover, "Great Kairu Warriors of the Renaissance…" Sitting down at one of the tables she begins to read. To busy reading she did not notice someone walk in.

"Hey," Ky coughs so Maya would notice him.

"Oh!" Maya jumps, "Didn't see you there…"

"You really like reading don't you?" Ky chuckles, trying to keep their fading conversation going.

"Yeah," Maya nods returning to her book, "it's fun."

"Maya, are you all right?" Pulling up a wooden chair next to Maya Ky sighs, "You've been kind of distant lately…"

Flipping the page in her book Maya replies curtly, "I'm fine."

Furrowing his brow Ky mutters, "You don't sound fine…"

Not wanting to continue the conversation Maya stands up. Grabbing her book and returning it to the shelf she protests, "I said I was fine." With that she heads to the door.

"It's because of N, isn't it?" His bright blue eyes follow Maya. Without waiting for a reply he continues, "I knew she was evil. When everyone else warmed up to her, got used to her barbaric behavior I did not. I saw her for what she truly was, a monster."

Every step she took felt like she was walking on glass. Stopping in the middle of the room Maya shakes her head, "Ky, you don't know what you are talking about."

"I do know what I'm talking about. You saw her turn into that, that thing! You saw the way she tore up the monastery," Ky snaps.

"Shut up!"

Ky stood up so fast that the chair he was sitting in fell over, "you need to realize what N really is! The monster she truly is. How can you defend that monster?"

She shakes her head. "Ky, you're wrong about N…"

"No I'm not," taking a step closer to Maya he continues, "You Saw what she did to Boaddai, how she attacked me." He pauses, as if trying to construct a sentence, "You think N is the greatest person in the world. But she's creepy, evil, and a monster. So just forget about her and focus on your real friends-" Something hard hit Ky in the forehead. Blood trickled down his forehead to the bridge of his nose and dripped onto the floor. Before he had time to realize Maya had thrown a book at him she was gone. Silence fell deep in the room.

Just then Mookee walked in his orange back to Ky, "Hey, Ky, I just saw Maya walking from here. She looked pretty upset-" Mookee saw the blood on Ky's forehead. "Ky, what happened?!" his voice squeaked.

"Uh, I'm fine," Ky nods. "Just hurts a bit."

"Come on," a small orange hand grabs Ky's, "We should get that taken care of."

Even though N's mood had changed for the better she still had bad days. Relapsing from self harm and Lokar's severe training style did not help. Fortunately most days it did not interfere with their training, but even then there were times when she refused to get out of bed. As annoying as her mood swings were Lokar understood her emotions.

Lokar stood in the middle of the training area. "She is late," he thought out loud, "She knows I do not tolerate this kind of behavior." Making his way from the training arena to her room he so graciously provided. Knocking on the wooden door he sighs when he receives no answerer. Scowling he tries once more, again no response. "This is ridiculous…" He spat opening the door. Instead of finding an idle N he found something else. She lay on the bed curled into a ball her face masked in her palms, fully dressed but emotionally unstable. "Kenway?" Lokar asks still hovering in the doorway.

"Go away," she mumbled behind her hands.

"What is wrong?" Lokar walks cautiously into the room.

"I said leave me alone!" she hissed unmasking her face while staring him in the eyes with a mix of hate, anger and pain. Her eyes were bloodshot. It was obvious she had been sobbing long before Lokar came in.

Making his way over to the corner of her bed he sits down with a sigh, "You're relapsing again, haven't you?" Something in his voice made N feel like he actually cared; like he is actually concerned, even if it's only a little.

"They were itching… so I scratched… I couldn't stop…" N sniffled, "I'm sorry. I know you don't like it when-"

"Nox," Lokar spoke over her. They way he said her name calmed her somewhat, "it's okay, quitting self harm isn't easy. Trust me, I know…"

Rolling over on her back N looks at Lokar in the eyes once more. "You do?" she sniffles.

Instead of wearing his usual cloak he wore robes very much like the Redakai's only his was black and red. His hood was down revealing his deep blue hair tied back in red ribbon. Meeting N's gaze, "Yes, I do."

With a sniffle N rolls back on her side, resting her head on Lokar's lap. Lokar hated doing this comforting thing. He always got closer to her than he wanted to. She stirred feelings in him he'd rather not have. Feelings he long since buried. As he ran a hand through N's silver hair he sighed. Moments passed and Lokar kept stroking her hair, he knew she liked it… and her hair was soft.

"I know you are using me…" her weak voice breaking the silence. The soft touch on her head stopped abruptly and was replaced with a small amount of pressure.

"Nox…" He pauses exhaling sharply through his nose. "I…"

"Please don't lie to me. I've had enough of people's lies…" N mutters.

"If you think I am using you, then why do you stay?" Lokar asks even though he all ready knew the answer.

"Lokar, we both know why I'm here." Closing her eyes she lets out a small, hollow laugh.

"What is so funny?" he had to ask.

"Nothing," she chuckles.

"You like books right?" Lokar tries to change the subject.

"I do," N nods.

"Come with me then," standing up he heads for the door. Not wanting to be left alone again she follows.

"Wow…" N stares around the large room. Mahogany bookcases lined every stone wall. Each one had a different design carved into it. Magnificence glowed from them. Each shelf was packed with books of all kind. "You have a rather large collection here, Lokar…"

Lokar let out a throaty chuckle, "Yes it is. The cases are hand crafted. I quite like them, the craftsmanship is beautiful. It took me some time to find anything worthy to hold my collection. But that is nothing compared to how much traveling across the universe to get some of these. But each one was worth it…" Lokar moves over to one of the shelves. He drags a long purple finger over the spin of one with such care as if it was his own child. "Some are worth more than ten galaxies. Nox, I trust that if I let you use my personal library you will take care of them." His voice was so stern, like he was giving her his life.

Her eyes lit up. Not sure if she heard him right she stutters, "You're really going to let me-"

"I'm giving you access to my personal library," he clears away any doubt N had, "do not betray my trust, Nox."

"Really? Wow… Thanks!" N's excitement irradiated through her body. There were few things that could cheer her up, no matter how much she was down in the dumps: Books and Maya. Suddenly a wave of sadness washed over N. She realized just how much she really missed Maya. How much she left behind.

"Nox, something is wrong. I can sense it. I thought this would cheer you up…" as much as he'd hate to say it, he liked it when she was happy.

"Nothing… It's just that I really…"

"You miss Maya don't you?" Lokar sighs. That was one thing he could not fix.

N nods.

Walking over to her he places a hand on her shoulder, "You will see her soon enough. Perhaps if she saw you-"

"If you're thinking I'll convince Maya to join you, forget it!" Every ounce of joy left N as she went on to defend her friend. "I will help you get back at the Redakai, but the second you bring up anything that can hurt her that is where I draw the line."

"Fine, I can get Maya without your help," Lokar snaps. "But may I ask why you care so much about her, why you would still protect her even though she turned her back on you?"

N frowns, "Maya never turned her back on me. Everyone else did, even Boaddai…" regret filled her voice as she said the last word. "He wouldn't have taken me in as a student if Maya had not been there. He would never have told me that but I knew, able to tell a lie from a truth… Most of the Redakai didn't like me. To be honest I think only Maya did… She was different. She didn't judge me. The first one, really. I was a freak, outcast, alone… and she was too. But we were freaks together, and it was okay. A very merry band of misfits... That's why if anyone hurts her they'll have to deal with me!"

Frustration ran through Lokar. How dare she try and keep his granddaughter away from him! No one was going to get in his way. He shoved N up against a stone wall. She cried out in surprise as he pushed her back by her shoulders and whimpered when her back slammed into the hard stone wall. She hadn't see Lokar this angry or do anything like this since she was little. Her eyes stared fearfully into Lokar's ominous orange ones. Suddenly his eyes softened. It was like he couldn't decide how to feel.

"I… You make me so angry… Nox…" His voice hid something. But N knew. He was in pain. She wasn't sure why but he was. "I don't want to hurt you…"

"Nothing stopped you last time…" Her eyes dropped to the floor, "You weren't afraid to hit me then…"

"Last time…" his grip on her shoulders tightened, "That was different. You were my prisoner. Now you are my… student. And I will treat you as such. But you… you make it so hard to discipline you."

"I am not a child!" N struggled to free herself from Lokar's grasps. "You don't need to discipline me."

"Then stop acting like one!" Lokar's grip on her shoulders would most likely bruise after this. He could hear the small breaths coming from N. Using his right hand he grabs her chin forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Just know this; I do not like hurting you…" releasing his grip he steps backwards staring at the teenager in front of him.

It took N a while to find her voice, and even then it was still soft and flimsy, "Then why do you?"

Once more Lokar exhaled sharply through his noise. Clenching his fist he struggled to hold his temper. All in one swift movement Lokar had N up against the wall once more, his hand capturing her chin and the other holding her head in place as he placed his lips on hers pushing her further into the wall, her back flush against it, and his body pressing into hers. N gasped bringing her palms to try and push him off of her. Her strength was no match for Lokar's; instead this made him roughen the kiss. A blush crept across N's cheeks. She found her own arms snaking their way around his neck, and her lips soon moving in sync with Lokar's.

Slowly Lokar pulled away, resting his forehead on N's. He could hear her hard breaths mixed with his soft one.

"L… Lokar?" N mumbles unsure how to react to Lokar's sudden outburst.

With great speed and strength Lokar griped N's neck. Feeling her claw at his wrist he leans towards her and breaths in her ear, "This never happened, this means nothing, do you understand me?"

N gasping for air left her unable to say much, "… Yes…"

"Good," he releases N and rushes off, his dark blue hair whipping behind him.

N could only stare at the bookshelf at the opposite wall. Trying to resister what just happened. Lokar kissed her. What more is that she wasn't sure if her heart was pounding because of fear or excitement. But if she was sure of one thing she kind of liked it. And that scared the crap out of her, not to mention it was her first kiss. How could she make out with the man who is (a) nearly twice her age (b) her best friend's grandfather and (c) Lokar was the man how kidnapped and tortured her for 2 years of her life. He ruined her childhood, how could she kiss him?

Lokar slammed the door behind him and made his way to his bathroom. He ran his hands under the cold water and splashed his face with in. Staring at himself in the mirror, he sighs, "Lust." Slamming his fist down on the sink he curses. "She is nothing more than a weapon to me. That's all it has to be. Lust…" Running a hand through his own deep cobalt hair he lets out another sigh. His true love was, and will always be Ellotoys; there will be no other woman in his life. Yet it still hurt him when N agreed it meant nothing to her… How could he betray Ellotoys like that? "This won't happen again," he hisses to himself, "I won't let it."