You have my permission not to love me. I am a cathedral of deadbeats and I'd rather burn myself down than change the locks.
Some bridges you crossed on your own, no matter who drove you to the edge. There's nothing more annoying than cold logic and reason when you've got a good fit going. Inside us all are pieces of that which makes the negative. Demons are neither good nor bad. Like most people, they have many faces. It is that inner essence, or drive, if you will, that we all have that guides us through our lives. Sometimes those voices that drive us are whispered memories that live deep inside and cause us such pain that we have no choice except to let it out and to hurt those around us. But at other times, the voice is love and compassion, and it guides us to a gentler place. In the end, we, alone, must choose what path to walk. No one can help us with it. And Allison had gone down that path and fell right into the ditch. But she knew she wouldn't be able to live in the darkness for long. It would be damn near impossible. Every faction conditions its members to think and act a certain way. And most people do it. For most people, it's not hard to learn, to find a pattern of thought that works and stay that way. But our minds move in a dozen different directions.
The next day, Klaus found Hayley in the bathroom. His knuckle came up to hit the door, hearing the water shut off a moment later. "Hayley?"
"What do you want Klaus?"
"May I come in?"
There was a moment of silence, the sound of clothes falling and then a body dipping into the water.
"Come in."
He turned the knob and opened the door, her body was submerged underneath a tub of bubbles, preventing him from seeing anything. When they met, something inside both of them had changed, and whatever that was, it made them need each other. For reasons unknown to him, she was his exception, and as much as he had tried to fight his feelings, he was infatuated with her.
In an odd move for Klaus, he sat down, ankles crossed, indian style on the floor next to the tub, just watching her.
Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman's love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you've acted out, no matter what crazy thing you've done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren't any more words left to say, encourage you when you're at rock bottom and think there just isn't any way out, hold you in her arms when you're sick, and laugh with you when you're up. And if you're her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you're dusty, encourage you when you're down, defend you even when she's not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you're not saying anything worth listening to.
If he made that statement out loud, he would surely fall to pieces and be puddy in her hands, waiting to be molded. And despite his past, Klaus still couldn't be molded to someone else's needs.
"What are you thinking about?" Hayley questioned after a moment of silence.
"I'm not sure...I'm not sure what I am anymore. I just know there's something dark in me. I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it, but it's there always, this dark passenger. And when he's driving, I feel alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I don't fight him, I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the dark passenger tells me? Because lately there are these moments when I feel connected to something else... someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things... people... who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me." The words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them. Some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. Everyone hides who they are at least some of their time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply that you have to be reminded it's there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are all together.
"I'm turning over a new leaf." Hayley said quietly. "I know what it's like... not knowing if you're this or that.. I... I just know what it's like to be a black sheep."
He chuckled. The tip of his finger caught her under her chin, and it was enough to still all her movements. "Tell you what. If you need help with that, if you need someone to shut you up, or even if you just need to walk on the wild side every now and then… I'm your guy."
Hayley gave him a small smile. Deep down, she didn't think Klaus was so bad. She refused to acknowledge that little pull in the pit of her stomach every time he came around. She knew what it meant. She knew too much.
He had no illusions about his addiction to her. She had her fingers sunk firmly into his heart, and could do with it what she wished.
Silence fell between them for a moment before Klaus spoke again.
"How is it?"
Hayley looked up at him, raising an eyebrow as Klaus nodded his head toward her abdomen.
"Oh. Good." Hayley replied, nodding her head slightly. "I'm sorry... about wanting to get rid of it." Her hand grazed her stomach as she forced her tears back.
"It's okay." Klaus whispered, looking down at his hands.
Love, he realized, was like the daggers he made in his forge: When you first got one it was shiny and new and the blade glinted bright in the light. Holding it against your palm, you were full of optimism for what it would be like in the field, and you couldn't wait to try it out. Except those first couple of nights out were usually awkward as you got used to it and it got used to you.
Over time, the steel lost its brand-new gleam, and the hilt became stained, and maybe you nicked the shit out of the thing a couple of times. What you got in return, however, saved your life: Once the pair of you were well acquainted, it became such a part of you that it was an extension of your own arm. It protected you and gave you a means to protect your brothers; it provided you with the confidence and the power to face whatever came out of the night; and wherever you went, it stayed with you, right over your heart, always there when you needed it. You had to keep the blade up, however. And rewrap the hilt from time to time. And double-check the weight. Funny...all of that was well, duh when it came to weapons. Why hadn't it dawned on him that it was all the same?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry this took so long, I would of had my computer a week ago but when I went to pick it up, I had to take it back in again because Best Buy had busted my screen during shipping and it took them FOREVER to check it in to the service center but only less than 3 hours to replace the screen and then like 2-3 days to ship it back to the store so I could pick it up. asjkdfljaskldf. I WENT BONKERS AND IM SO SORRY THIS IS SUPER LATE AND THANK YOU, to all the followers that favorited and followed this story, waiting for the update. :) 3