The following morning was awkward again. Kerr woke up still a little sleepy to find her cheek stuck to Blaise's chest. She peeled it off and sat up holding the covers close to her chest. She turned a little to look at Blaise lying, fast asleep on the bed beside her. Her movement had not disturbed him at all. He looked gorgeous his russet hair tousled and the white sheets just covering his hips. She could see some slight bruising and scaring on his ribs. She hadn't noticed it last night but then she had been rather distracted. She felt regret fill her as she watched him. She knew that this couldn't end well. Just like the first time when she had woke long before him and felt the regret. She had slipped away then and ran from her feelings. She could do it again and she pulled back the covers gently. She slipped out of the bed onto the floor and went to walk across to where bits of her clothing lay on the floor. Before she moved, however, she felt his hand grip her wrist and pull her back onto the bed. She looked round at him to see he was up on his side and looking at her intensely.

'Where are you going?' he asked in a smooth voice.

She hesitated. She could lie and tell him she was going to the bathroom but then Blaise always seemed to know when she was lying. There was very little that he didn't seem to know about her. Was he always so intuitive or was it just with her? She didn't know. She had never asked him and she probably never would. She didn't want to know if he was intuitive with other people especially not if he was intuitive about his ... about Daphne. She didn't want to think about Daphne Greengrass. She had never really known the girl. She had been a Slytherin in her year at school and Kerr had never really known her except to know that she was beautiful.

'Sneaking away again?' Blaise asked her when she did not reply. He let go of her wrist. 'On you go then. I will not stop you.'

He lay back down then and didn't look at her again. Kerr didn't move. She didn't know what to do or say. She didn't want to leave him. If they could stay there, holed up in that little room, forever it would be perfect but they couldn't. They both knew that surely. Blaise had a wife and she was married to her job. People would look for them if they never went back. It was too dangerous for them. Surely he knew that or maybe he was just ignoring the obvious. She sat back down on the bed slowly still looking at him. He did not look back up at her as she wrapped the sheets around her naked body again. Kerr knew that they should at least discuss the situation that they were in but then again she knew that he probably wouldn't want to. Still he'd always been a logical person and surely deep down somewhere he knew that this couldn't go any further. After all, it was just sex, wasn't it?

'I'll not sneak away,' she told him quietly making him look at her, 'but Blaise we need to talk about this. You know how dangerous this is. You are married.' She saw him flinch but ploughed on. 'What are you going to do if she finds out? Being around me isn't safe for you either. Death Eaters are still out there and I am a target ...'

Blaise sat up suddenly and grabbed her round the shoulders harshly startling her. His eyes bore into her and she could see the anger in them. His grip on her arms was bound to bruise her but she didn't register the pain as he stared at her. She just watched him as he stared at her for a moment and she could see that some internal struggle was going on. There was obviously something that he wanted to say or do that he also didn't want to let her know about. Kerr had no idea what it could be.

'If you stopped putting your neck on the line so much you wouldn't be a bloody target,' he told her angrily giving her a little shake. 'You constantly throw yourself into harm's way and you go after major Death Eaters with no back up. It's stupid. I thought you were smart but for over a year now I've stopped myself bursting into your office and giving you a shake to knock some sense into you. You're out of control and you're going to get yourself killed.'

'I will not,' replied Kerr pushing his hands off her. 'It's none of your business what I do at work and you shouldn't be checking up on me. I am perfectly capable of handling any Death Eater that comes across my path. I am the top of my department and very capable. There is no need for you to lecture me especially when it is not your place to do so. No one else is worried about me.'

Kerr wrapped the sheets around her more securely unpleasantly aware that she was having an argument with Blaise Zabini whilst completely naked. She felt very unsure this morning. He didn't have the right to speak to her like that even if there was some truth behind his words. He didn't know anything about the way she worked. She had had more results rounding up stray Death Eaters than anyone in her department or any other department. Nobody should have the right to complain about her work. She put everything into her work and nobody could question that.

'That's because everyone else are morons,' he told her in a furious hiss trying to prevent himself from grabbing her and shaking her again. 'Everyone else is so wrapped up in their own lives and they aren't looking at you. I am. I am worried. You throw yourself into these situations with no thought of your own life. Why?'

Kerr was quiet then. She didn't bother to reply and instead stared into the sheets. She knew what he said was the truth. Blaise didn't lie to her and she had noticed it before herself. She was reckless when it came to her work. She didn't care and she knew it. Maybe she believed that in the world she was trying to create she would be obsolete. There was no place for her in a world without Dark wizards. That was her life. She was the one that would bring them all to justice but once that had happened she didn't know what she would do with herself. She had many skills but without dark wizards to be put away she would not use them. As she was building a better world for the next generation she was effectively destroying her own livelihood.

'It's my job,' she said eventually in a quiet voice, 'and it's the way I like to do it. You don't need to worry about me I can take care of myself.'

Blaise didn't bother to respond and instead looked away from her. He hadn't wanted to tell her the things that he just did. He hadn't wanted her to know that he kept an eye on her, that he was worried about her. It seemed sad and a little stalkerish but he couldn't help it. When he had finished Unspeakable training the Ministry was already rife with the amount of things that had happened since Potter, Weasley and Black had become full time Aurors. Mostly they spoke about Black in quiet whispers about how she never left the office and that she was the one discovering new information all the time. Soon the whispers turned to talking about how she never left work and that she was becoming reckless, endangering herself. He had tried to ignore the whispers, tried to ignore her existence but something kept him checking up on her. He hadn't wanted to let her know that he had been doing that. He had known that she wouldn't like it.

'We are being foolish,' she told him her voice full of regret. 'We both know that this cannot go any further. You have a wife and it doesn't matter how much you wish you could reverse time you can't. I was foolish that night. I should have been stronger and I shouldn't have looked for you to comfort me but I really needed you that night.'

He looked up at her and saw her green eyes pleading with him, begging him to understand that she was only acting for their own good and that she didn't really want to never see him again. She just wanted them both to be safe.

'I do not regret that night,' he told her reaching out to rub her shoulder comfortingly. 'I regret that you turned away from me. I knew you were scared especially about me and you ran from that to protect yourself. You grew up differently than the rest of us. You grew up as the complete opposite of me. Even Potter can't understand that upbringing.'

Kerr shuddered. She had been brought up differently like he had said. They were worlds apart when it came to it. He had had luxury and security and a family. She had grown up on the run with her mother and no one else. She had had little money but she had loved her life. She had encountered dangerous situations, been despised by those of the Wizarding world who recognised who she was and had fought against people her entire life. She was quiet, able to blend and fierce when she needed to be. They had grown up in different worlds, she believed too different.

'It makes me better at what I do,' she almost whispered. 'I have done all these things before. I know how to be a shadow but you and I are so different. We live in different worlds. The security and luxury you experienced as child has led you to be confident with a good job a home and a beautiful wife. My life has led me to be a recluse who works too much and enjoys the thrill of nearly dying.'

Blaise remained silent and his hand left her shoulder. She looked at him. The sheets were bundled around his middle his chest on show. Kerr sighed and looked down at her hands. She didn't know how to deal with this situation. She wasn't very good at dealing with her emotional relationships. It was easier with her friends. They all believed in her strength and they never suspected that she might be feeling weak. It was easy to let them believe she wasn't any different than from when they had first met. She supposed she wasn't really different. She was the same. She still had the same strength but now she wasn't sure if that was enough to get her through.

'I understand,' Blaise broke the silence. 'I know that this is dangerous but I'm sick of pretending now. I can't stay away from you anymore. I did what you wanted. I left you alone and I did not try to find you. This last year however has been torture. The Minister telling me that you were his best auror, the one who worked the hardest. I looked into it, discreetly, annoyed by the fact that you still piqued my curiosity and I could see how much danger you put yourself in and ...'

He broke off then and looked up at her.

'It made me angry with you, Kerr. I was angry that you kept risking yourself in situations that you didn't need to. You wouldn't let your friends or colleagues take any of the work. You were always there, always positioning yourself so you were the one in danger. It made me angry with you and scared for you because you seem to be on self destruct mode that nobody could get you out of. Last week when you ended up dancing with me at the Fundraiser I wanted to shake you until your teeth rattled. I wanted to tell you that you need to be more careful because there are people who care a lot for you, people who would be crushed if something happened to you.'

Kerr looked at him anger blazing in his deep blue eyes. She bit her lip. How was she supposed to respond to that? She could never believe that one night would have this effect on him. That night after the Battle of Hogwarts ended she had spent time with Harry, Ron and Hermione just taking a moment to take in the reality that Voldemort was finally gone. Then Harry had gone to Ginny to let her comfort him and Ron had turned to Hermione. Kerr was on her own and she had spent time with the Weasley's but the sorrow surrounding Fred's death was too much for her. She wanted to forget and she had wandered through the castle to discover a silent Blaise sitting in a ruin battlement looking down at the grounds. She couldn't remember now what they had spoken about but she knew how it had ended. It had ended in the darkness and quiet as they breathed heavily together and shared harsh kisses that pushed out the pain if only for a little while.

'What did I do to capture your attention?' she asked him.

'Nothing,' he told her. 'Everything. I have no idea. It was well before that night. That first day you arrived at Hogwarts with your black hair and moss coloured eyes and the fierceness that radiated. The way you didn't understand anything about house rivalries and how elated you were to play Quidditch. The way your face lit up when you laughed at something Potter, Weasley or Granger said and how overprotective you were of them all. The way you lashed out at anyone who insulted them or you or your family and how you had no qualms about throwing your wand away and getting into a fist fight. It was the way that I could tease you and sometimes you wouldn't know how to take it. The way you found me hilarious and yet irritating. I'm not quite sure when it started but that night just put everything in motion.'

Kerr swallowed and brushed a hand through her hair although her hair just fell back into her eyes. He loved it when that happened. The first time he had seen her do it had sent a strange feeling through his stomach. He didn't know what it was but he loved it. It still happened now whenever she brushed her hair back, her hair that had a mind of its own and was constantly irritating her, just like he was.

'It's been four years,' she said softly.

'Four years of waiting for you to come to your senses,' he told her. 'I won't lie to you. Daphne is wonderful, beautiful and we are somewhat happy but she isn't you. When I look at her I know she is beautiful with long blonde hair and big grey eyes that seem so innocent. She never complains about my long hours and she never fights with me but when I look at our life together I don't want it.'

He put his arms around her waist and drew her closer to him holding her to his body and feeling the slight chill of her pale skin against his.

'What do you want?' she asked softly.

'I want you,' he told her gently. 'My life is perfect, a dream. My house is spotless and everything is well organised. With you I am different, our life would be different. It would be full of laughter and maybe a little danger. We'd never make the bed, everything would be in disarray and we would fight, probably a lot but we would be happy.'

'You want us to fight?' she questioned.

'Of course I don't,' Blaise said shaking his head slightly before he rested his cheek against her hair. 'We will though. After all I'm a Slytherin and you're a Gryffindor, we are meant to fight. We will fight because you are stubborn and so am I and because I'm irritating and you have a temper. We will fight because you are fire and I am ice.'

'We are so different,' she said with a sigh as he kissed her bare shoulder. 'Surely this could never work. Believe me when I say that I want this but I know that it's wrong and that it's dangerous. You're a target as well for stray Death Eaters and aspiring dark wizards.'

Blaise was surprised at that and he looked at her curiously which made her laugh, a bark-like laugh that he loved.

'You aren't the only one who does some checking up,' she told him with a slight shrug. 'I couldn't help myself.'

He smiled at her squeezing her to him.

'We can enjoy this weekend,' he told her seriously, 'and then if you decided that the cons outweigh the pros then you don't have to see me again. I will admit that I am married and I can't give you my devoted attention but I don't think you need a serious relationship just yet and I can't leave Daphne yet.'

Kerr growled slightly at the sound of Daphne's name making Blaise laugh at little.

'You know I think you would have liked her.'

Kerr looked at him one eyebrow raised as if to say that was unlikely.

'Shall we maybe go and get some breakfast or rather lunch then?' she asked him.

'First,' he said lying back down and pulling her down on top of him, 'kiss me again.'