Chapter 4

I'm sorry, I planned on writing a LOT but something (quite a lot) happened, and I just couldn't. + the stacks of homework I have… it's all way too much. I also had to study for my exams…

Ps: this story has become more personal than before so I don't know if I'll be able to write this for much longer. I don't think it'll become more than 10 chapters. But I'm not sure, I'll see how I the writing goes.

Pss: I wrote this after a very tiring day so I'm sorry if well… the chapter sucks. I wanted to give you something since I'm able to write, for the first time in over a month.

Javi took Ryan home, and gave Lanie a ride since Lanie didn't feel like she could drive. Lanie and Javi both didn't want to be alone so Lanie spent the night with Javi.

"At first, when I saw Ryan and Gates passing me, I was mad. Mad that he told Gates. But then…" he looked down at his feet, with his elbows still rested on this knees. "Then I realized that Ryan might have been able to save her. And now- now she's in that hospital bed, broken. Literally broken."

"Hey, Javi. It's okay. I understand why you would be mad, but it was the right thing to do for Ryan. He was afraid of what might happen, and what actually happened was much worse than what any of us could have thought of. It's normal to be angry, scared, sad and a whole bunch of other feelings. But direct them towards the people that caused this, not to Ryan, not to Gates, not to yourself and not to Kate. And I'm just saying to her because I know she went after Maddox and you just wanted to help her, so I also know she did a stupid thing, but the consequences were far worse. So now let's just go to bed, get some sleep, and take a day or two off." Lanie said as she stood up.

"Oh, I'm not going to take a day off. Far from it." He said as she stood up and she turned around to give him a questionable look. "I'm not taking a day off until the people who caused this are behind bars, for good."

Lanie looked at him, and knew this wasn't the right time. She just took his hand in hers and they went to bed together. Just holding each other, for the comfort they both wanted and needed so bad.

Rick was left behind in the hospital. Partially because he didn't want to leave, and because he came here by himself so he would have to drive home by himself too.

Everyone was gone now, so he went up to her room. He knew he had told himself not to go see her until she was better but he couldn't help himself, he had to know she was okay. See for himself.

He took a deep breath before opening the door to the dim light room.

She looked so pale… and all those tubes didn't make it any easier on his eyes. He hated seeing her so fragile. It was almost as bad as when she was shot. Maybe even worse. No, defiantly worse. Because this time he didn't try to save her, he wasn't there to help. To do everything in his power to defend her. This time, he left her to die. To fall down a building, crying out for him, to die.

That was the only plus point about this. She survived. And he thanked the gods for that. Or whoever it was that controlled death. Faith.

When he finally snapped out of his thoughts, he took place in the chair Ryan sat in before and watched her. He didn't say anything, didn't reach out for her… he just watched her.

It went on for hours. Him watching the machine pumping air into her lungs, and letting it out again. He had traced every wire to every machine. He knew what everything was for. What every machine did, what time was between the beeps of the machine, he studied everything. He knew every single detail of the room.

Finally, the beeps of the monitor, and the sound of air being pushed into her lungs lulled him to sleep.

His dreams weren't any better than reality. The first nightmare was the scene playing in his head. Ryan and the team behind him rushing across the roof, Kate calling out and eventually, her falling down. He woke up, scared that he lost her, but was settled seeing she was still breathing. Well, the machine was breathing for her, but she was still alive.

His second nightmare wasn't any better. Though this time it was him failing to grab her. Him seeing her face as she realized she was falling, and going to die.

He could see it in her eyes. She didn't want to die. She wanted to be saved but he couldn't, and it broke him.

He, of course, woke up again but this time it took him longer to realize she was okay. It also took him longer to fall back asleep. While he was awake, a nurse came to check on her, so refill the fluids and medicine and a lot of other stuff he couldn't think of right now. The nurse, surprisingly didn't kick him out for staying the night. She understood and even gave him a blanket.

Once he fell back asleep he had a dream. An actual dream that was nice. It was him and Kate, together for real, not just partners in crime. It was nice. He dreamed of him being able to kiss her without having to worry about it just being undercover to save their partners. Or her pulling away from a special moment like they shared in LA. No, this time he could kiss her freely and protect her. And make her see how dangerous this case was. But of course it didn't last long because he was woken up from his dream when the sun beamed through the blinds.

When he woke, it was hard to accept that it had just been a dream. That is wasn't real because he wanted it to be real so badly.

Well, he might have not shown it to her that he wanted it, but that didn't mean he didn't. He still loved her, he just didn't understand why she had to lie. And why she got mad at him for trying to protect her.

But well, it had all happened and now he just had to focus at what was literally in front of him. Kate and her health. Her getting better.

But he feared that, when she woke up, she wouldn't forgive him for not being there. But then again, it wasn't really his fault… It was all just so confusing. And so many things could happen. Either good or bad.

Right now, he had to get out of the hospital. Kate's father would be here any second seeing as he drove all night to get here. So Rick stood up, folded the blanket, took one last look at her and walked out of the room, back to his home.

Jim arrived at the hospital right when he saw Rick walking out of the hospital entrance.

"Rick?! Is she okay? What room is she in?" Jim asked.

"She will be and room 407." Rick answered as he just walked by knowing Jim would just want to see Kate.

And he was right, with a thanks, Jim walked through the doors up to Kate's room where a nurse was again checking on her.

The nurse asked who he was and he told her he was her dad and Jim asked the nurse a few questions.

When the nurse left, he went to sit on the side of the bed and took one of Kate's hands in his bigger hands. "Oh Katie…" he sighed.

This case had caused them both so much pain and sorrow… It was time this all stopped. Problem was that they weren't able to, he wasn't able to.

He stayed a few hours with his little girl until he had to leave again. "I'll be back soon Katie." He said as he kissed her, still pale, forehead. Over the past few hours, he had talked to her about the cabin. Just random stuff that weren't really important but he just said it because he didn't know for sure if she would hear it or not. If she didn't, she wouldn't have missed much, but if she did, it would be nice.

Two more days passed of Kate being held in a coma to recover from surgery. They moved the next one a day for safety risks. In the mean time, everyone but Rick had come to see her again. They had all spent a few hours with her just watching her, talking to her or watching tv while casting a glimpse at her once in a while.

When Kate first came it, they repaired all her chest injuries like 3 broken ribs and they had to remove one. Her collar bone had also been broken which they also fixed then.

Now they would repair her both legs, one more damaged than the other, and her hip fracture that was actually not as bad as they first thought it would be.

In the second surgery they would repair her left hand, wrist and arm. Doctor Torrez said that because they would do just that in the second surgery it would be soon after the first. They thought a lot more would be wrong, but surprisingly, that was not the case. The only reason they had to wait is because they didn't have enough time. It would already take long and they didn't have enough staff so they would have to give their staff a break for an hour or 4 and then Kate would go back for just her hand, arm and wrist.

Dr Torrez also told them, Espo, Ryan and Lanie, that Kate had been very lucky not to have hit her head. She fell a certain way so that her leg broke her fall on the side of the dumpster, her body turned and she fell on her arm that broke the fall of her head on the concrete, then her hip and other leg followed. It was still terrible, but the dumpster saved her life. Otherwise she would've been dead. And there wouldn't be a fracture to heal. Only broken hearts.

I had no idea where to leave this chapter, and I didn't want Kate being in a coma take too much chapters so I decided that next chapter would be after the surgery, and probably Kate waking up.

I actually wanted to do that now, but I'm feeling really sad and depressed and I think that if I write in the state I am now, I might kill Kate instead of meaning to save her… And I know you guys don't want that now, do you?

Once again, Sorry for the long wait.

Sorry.