Author's Note : Poor future Cloud is about to encounter the first of the issues he has to tackle. I'm aware that part of the story is very non-cannon and out of order, for which I am sorry. It does impact on the story, I'm not (just) doing it to be difficult, I swear.

Difficult Questions

Cloud, 22

Cloud had been waiting for this moment all day. His routine guard duty had dragged on, teasing him with the promise of more memories. His past held more fascination for him then the present, which was dull and hopeless.

Part of him realised that his past was even more hopeless, because it lead to a future he could not change. He knew, in his head, that nothing good could ever come of reliving it. Seeing what happened was not going to change the outcome.

Yet his heart wanted what it wanted. No matter what his head told him, he looked forward to shedding light on his shadowy past. No amount of forced pessimism could quench his inexplicable joy.

Another reason he wanted to retreat to his dreams was to escape his current dilemma. Thoughts that Cloud had purposefully buried had resurfaced to torment him. Possibilities he discounted suddenly seemed all too likely.

The morning had started off normally enough. Even Yuffie's presence as he walked to work hadn't really disrupted his routine. She had been oddly quiet, probably thinking about the upcoming meeting.

They had walked upstairs, both needing to see Reeve. Strangely, Vincent had arrived before them. He had walked out of Reeve's office, offering Yuffie a rare smile.

"I've arranged a meeting for you. You should find everyone is more then amenable to your suggestions."

Yuffie had thanked him enthusiastically and walked into Reeve's office.

"You're not normally the sort to do this kind of thing," Cloud had said. "Since when are you interested in the affairs of Wurtai?"

"I'm not," answered Vincent bluntly. "I am, however, familiar with the workings of large corporations. Yuffie is not. She is far too young and naïve to deal with these politics on her own, so I decided to make things simpler for her."

Cloud had been surprised, but not overly so. Despite their differing personalities, Vincent seemed to feel some sort of protectiveness for the youngest member of Avalanche. He wasn't quite sure exactly why, but figured it was none of his business.

"Do I want to know how?" Cloud asked sardonically. Vincent shook his head.

"You are also too inexperienced politics to fully comprehend the necessity of my actions."

"And too naïve?"

"In some ways," Vincent's voice was abruptly serious. "Or perhaps you're just afraid…"

"Of what?" asked Cloud, a hint of anger in his voice. What could Vincent possibly be on about?

"Of the future. Of what that future might hold for you."

Cloud shivered. The dreadful portent in those words touched a place deep inside his mind, summoning thoughts which he had kept hidden for fear of what they might mean.

"Speak clearly," Cloud said brusquely.

"You're afraid to live," Vincent said. "Or rather, that'll you will be stuck, like me. Because of what Hojo did." Cloud was furious at Vincent for voicing these thoughts, but he could see how hard it was for Vincent to say these words. Cloud had to know why he was talking about these things now.

"I know the feeling. Looking around and wondering when it will all fade, until the only thing left is you. Looking at a world that's changed and wondering how long it will be until its utterly unrecognisable."

"That's not going to happen. I'm not like you. What happened to you..that was different." Vincent raised an eyebrow.

"Nevertheless, you acknowledge the possibility, don't you? What about the people close to you? Have you talked to them about it?"

"You know I haven't," said Cloud. "Why add another burden to their lives?"

"As you wish," Vincent said. "You can hide behind your excuses if it makes you feel better." Cloud was about to argue the point when Vincent turned and left without another word.

Remembering the incident made him feel angry and unsettled. He was angry at Vincent for bringing up a painful topic and unsettled because he knew the ex-Turk had a point.

Tifa knew what had happened to him, but she didn't fully understand the potential consequences. He knew that it would affect her, too. She had made her intentions clear with him, even if they had never spoken about it directly. If he didn't age, if he was near-immortal, where would that leave her?

Cloud groaned and rolled over. The thought of talking about this issue made him feel tense and nervous. He felt as if a monster was bearing down on him, waiting just out sight. He couldn't do this, not tonight. He wasn't ready...

He was thrashing around in water, trying desperately to get free. The liquid around him felt oddly thick and sticky. The familiar acidic burn filled him with horror. Mako. He was drowning in mako.

He couldn't see, couldn't even tell if his eyes were open or closed. He had no sense of up or down. He should have been dying, but he was still alive, struggling in a trap from which escape was impossible.

Strong arms caught him and pulled him to a surface he couldn't find. He gulped in air gratefully, revelling in the feel of wind on his face. He was placed gently on the firm ground.

He tried to open his eyes, but they were as heavy as lead. He groped around, trying to find something to hold onto but found nothing. He tried to move, but his legs were paralysed.

He opened his mouth to scream, but he couldn't even do that. He was a prisoner of his own body, just barely able to sense the world but completely unable to react to it.

"Sssh…It's all over, Cloud. You defeated it, twice. Remember? This is just a dream." Zack's voice dispelled the panic rising in his chest. It had been so much better, before, when Zack had been there. He had been the single point of light in the darkness.

"You can let go, now." Just like that, the ground dropped away from under him. He reached out, but again found nothing. He was falling.

"No. Not today. Today, you're flying."

Cloud, 16

Cloud woke up with a start. He had been dreaming about the fall at the bridge again. Every time, he was convinced that he would die, but every time he woke up. He lay down for a few minutes, waiting for his heart rate to slow.

As he began to calm down, he tried to remember what he was supposed to be doing that day. From memory, all he had was a simple guard duty that evening. He had a feeling that he had been looking forward to it, for some reason.

Then he remembered. Zack was coming home that afternoon. He had been gone for five days now, off on a mission. Since his departure, Cloud had been counting down the days until he came back. Things just weren't as good when Zack wasn't hanging around…

Since they had first met, a scant two weeks ago, Zack had become a major part of Cloud's life. They managed to meet often, usually 'by coincidence' as Zack so blithely termed it. Mostly they just chatted briefly in the corridors, but twice they had managed to have proper conversations.

It had been a shock, when the SOLDIER had been called out on a mission. It was only when he was gone that Cloud realised just how much he enjoyed their stolen moments. It seemed like his days had gotten bleaker, because Zack was no longer in them.

He supposed at first he had been too shy to talk to him properly, because of Zack's high status in the army. Now that Cloud knew him a little better, he realised that Zack was so much more then a First Class SOLDIER.

He had this way of bring joy to the people around him. He was like a sun, radiating energy to everyone close to him. Even when he was being serious – which was fairly rare – his inherent goodness shone through.

Just the thought of his best friend brought a smile to his face. Deciding he was thoroughly awake, he got up and readied himself to face the day.

He checked his phone to see if there were any updates from Zack. He was relieved to see that, as of yet, their travel plans didn't seem to have changed.

It had been good luck for him to score the exact shift that would allow him to see his friend the soonest. He hadn't even had to change shifts, like he'd been intending.

After getting ready he still had a lot time to kill, so he decided to go down to the library. Only, every time he tried to sit down with a book, he found himself unable to concentrate. It was physically impossible for him to sit still.

He was bored out of his mind. The clock hands ticked slowly away, each second grinding on his already taunt nerves. He couldn't believe he'd managed to work himself up into such a state.

He spent the first half of the day restlessly going from one room to another, trying to find something to do. An hour before his shift started he gave up and got his gear ready.

He had been stationed out the front of Shinra, one of the most boring shifts in the whole building. There had never been an attack on the front of the building and Cloud had no doubt there never would be. Honestly, who would be that stupid?

The people who had been on the morning shift had been delighted when Cloud had shown up a whole forty-five minutes early. Not that Cloud blamed them. Any other day and he would have been dreading this shift.

Cloud kept his eyes firmly fixed on the crowd. Intellectually, he knew he was unlikely to miss Zack coming home. The SOLDIER was pretty distinctive, after all. Still, he remained focused, mostly because he was physically incapable of relaxing.

The only time he looked away was when the other infantrymen arrived.

"Suck up," one of them muttered. Cloud wondered who he was. It was not like they could recognise each other, not with the helmets. Maybe that was why they felt safe insulting him out on in the open.

Cloud just shrugged and returned to his vigil. The others continued to chatter amongst themselves, loudly gossiping about anything and everything.

'Worse then the old women at home,' Cloud thought wryly.

"I notice they don't make SOLDIERs do this," said one of the older boys. "No, it's always us. Always getting the short end of the stick, just 'cause Shinra's stingy with mako. If we had right treatments we could probably be as powerful as the general."

Cloud mentally scoffed at this, but he didn't say anything to them. From what he had seen of Zack, SOLDIER was about more then the mako. That kind of strength came from dedication and hard work.

"Yeah, and they use Shinra's science as excuses to lord themselves over us. I mean, who do they think they are?"

"That's not entirely true. You get the occasional fraternisation."

The implications of that made Cloud blush. He knew exactly what they were getting at. He'd had similar accusations thrown at him when people noticed that Zack talking to him.

No one dared suggest anything while Zack was actually around, of course. They waited until Cloud was alone in the dorm to make their comments. He was pretty sure they didn't actually mean anything by it, but it annoyed him all the same.

"Sssh…The lieutenant is over there, you idiot!" Cloud turned his head to look at the crowd only to realise the guard was right. Furthermore, he was walking with the General.

Zack looked relaxed, as always. From where he was standing, Cloud could just make out the grin on his face. He was talking away about something weird, Cloud guessed.

Sephiroth looked politely disinterested, but Cloud swore he caught the General's mouth curl up into a slight smile.

The relief he felt at seeing Zack come home was palatable. Until he had arrived, Cloud hadn't realised just how worried he had been that Zack would somehow disappear out of his life.

As they came closer, the infantrymen snapped to attention. Cloud watched the two SOLDIERs wistfully as they entered the building, taking comfort in the fact that now he knew that Zack was back on time and uninjured.

Just as he resigned himself to a boring night, he heard his PHS message tone. He checked it, unsurprised when he saw it was from Zack.

Hey there Chocobo, just arrived back at Shinra. I'm going to be a little while, sorting through mission briefs and meetings and even more meetings after that. Looks like we're both busy until around dinner time. Maybe we can catch up then? If you're interested, I'll meet you out the front at 6.

Cloud read the message twice, trying to figure out how Zack had known that he was working until that night. He was positive that the SOLDIER hadn't recognised him before.

'Maybe he checked the rosters? Though if he was going to go to that much trouble, he could have just asked me.'

The PHS received yet another message, also from Zack. For someone stuck in a meeting, he was sending a lot of messages. Cloud hoped for his sake he was being subtle about it.

Ps. Your shoe laces are untied. I'm surprised you haven't tripped over them yet.

Cloud looked down and, sure enough, his left shoe lace was completely undone. He grinned as he bent down to tie them. So he had recognised him, then.

Cloud toyed with the idea of messaging him back, but decided not to. Zack might decide to blow all meeting protocol, but Cloud didn't want to be responsible for the young SOLDIER getting caught messaging under the table.

He waited patiently for his shift to be over. He was finished at five, which gave him plenty of time to get ready. He showered and threw on his only casual outfit. He wondered where exactly Zack was planning on going.

He had purposefully arrived a little late, not wanting to seem overeager. He had half-expected Zack to be late and was a little surprised to see him waiting. He had been standing by himself in the shadows, his eyes closed. The soft wind played through his messy hair.

In that moment he looked so serene, Cloud had just stopped and stared. He was memorised by the lines of his face and the sharp contrast between his pale skin and raven hair.

Zack opened his eyes and called out. Cloud jolted out of his revere, feeling embarrassed at having been caught staring.

"You ready to go?" Zack asked, smiling warmly.

"Go where?" asked Cloud.

"Out to dinner," Zack replied vaguely.

"Sure."

They walked together through the busy Midgar streets. Cloud had only been around here a couple of times. Normally, he hated the crush of people and the excessive noise but tonight it added to the feeling of adventure.

It helped that the crowds instantly passed to let Zack through. When Cloud went out on his own, he was normally jostled by the uncaring masses. Now they were able to walk side by side with no difficulty whatsoever.

"They've given me another mission tomorrow," Zack said." They might as well announce they're desperate for manpower. It had better be easy, or I swear I'll quit."

"You won't," Cloud said, trying to mask his disappointment. "Otherwise you'd have to get a boring office job." Somehow Cloud just couldn't imagine this happening.

"True. It's good thing you're coming along, then. You'll stop me doing anything rash." Cloud blinked.
"I'm coming?"

"Sure you are. They haven't told you yet?"

Cloud shook his head.

"They must have been planning on dragging you out of bed tomorrow. Lucky thing I told you first."

"Unlucky for everyone else," Cloud added.

Zack stopped suddenly. He was standing in front of a small, brightly lit shop with a cheerfully painted chocobo sign on the front.

"Chocobo burgers? They don't actually serve chocobo meat, do they?"

Zack laughed at Cloud's horrified expression.

"It's just a cute name. Seriously, you've never seen one before?"

"No…"

"You're such a bogan."

Cloud protested this, but Zack had already walked through the door. Cloud followed him through the crowded shops. Everyone from family groups to gangs of teenagers were milling around the shop.

"It's the place to go. Plus, they give away free toy chocobos with their meals."

"Of course they do," Cloud said drolly. They joined the long queue.

"I seriously don't believe you've never had a Chocobo Meal. You poor, deprived child."

"They didn't have them in the mountains. And I'm pretty sure they didn't have them in your village, either."

"That's true," said Zack. "I must admit, I too experienced my first Choco-burger at a late age. That's why I know the pain of such deprival."

Cloud scoffed at the dramatic speech, but he had to admit he was a little curious about the contents of this so called Chocobo-Meal, even if he was a little dubious about ordering a meal that came with a toy.

After they finally made their way through the massive line Zack placed his order and payed for it. Cloud had tried to pay him back, but the older boy wouldn't stand for it.

"Keep it and buy yourself something pretty," Zack had teasingly suggested.

The meal was made suspiciously quickly compared to what Cloud was used to. They sat down at an outdoor table. Cloud studied the contents of the meal, unsure if anything on his burger was even vaguely organic.

"I think the toy is the most edible part of the meal," Cloud concluded. "Though the box comes a close second."

"Trust me, it may look dodgy, but it tastes amazing."

Cloud dubiously took a small bite of the burger. He chewed it slowly.

"You have a point," Cloud admitted. "But I'm amazed that you would eat this. I thought you were supposed to stick to a strict diet?"

"That would be boring," Zack whined. "I can't let Shinra rule all of my existence, right?"

"Right," Cloud said. "I guess this can be our secret, then."

"We're two rebels, sneaking away from Shinra to participate in forbidden activities."

There was a hint of suggestiveness in the way Zack had emphasised 'forbidden' that made Cloud blush.

"That wasn't what I meant and you know it," Cloud said quickly.

"Ooh, am I corrupting you? Your mother would be scandalised."

"Mum would be happy that I made a friend. I don't think she'd care if you had scales and claws, as long as you were willing to tolerate my presence." Zack's expression grew morose and Cloud cursed his own thoughtlessness.

"Would you care?" Zack asked finally. "If I was a monster?" Cloud considered his words more carefully this time.

"Only if you started acting like one," Cloud said. "Only if there was no way of you ever coming back." Zack's grey eyes stared straight into his with an intensity Cloud had never before experienced.

Zack considered the words for a while before smiling. Any hint of depression completely disappeared from his face. Cloud was relieved. He must have given the right answer.

"So until then, we'll be friends?" Zack said.

"It's not going to happen," said Cloud stubbornly. "So I guess we'll be friends forever."

"Until the end of time," Zack agreed solemnly.

Walking back to his room that night Cloud decided that he like Chocobo Burgers after all, even if their burgers tasted like cardboard.