By now three other girls were surrounding them and the teacher was on her way. Before anyone had managed to get there in the first place, Chloe had turned Beca's arms over as best she could to hide the marks. Beca wasn't saying anything, instead she was just holding tight onto Chloe and not taking her eyes off her. "Can you guys give her some air and just go and find where the teacher is?" Chloe asked, anxious to get rid of the other girls. They slinked off and once more, the two girls were left alone. "We have to get you up," Chloe said. She pulled Beca to her feet, and took one of her arms before directing, "Here, hang your sweater over this arm while we walk and I'll hold your other arm for support but cover it at the same time." Beca nodded and did as she was told. They managed to walk half way down the path when the teacher appeared behind them.

"Are you okay, Rebeca?" she asked. It was a stupid question seeing as Beca was pale white and had just collapsed, not to mention the annoying use of her full name. Nonetheless, she nodded and managed to say, "Fine, just got a bit hot." The teacher pressed her hand against Beca's forehead before explaining, "I don't think it's anything serious – you're just terribly overheated. Go straight to the nurse." The two girls slowly walked down in the direction of the medical office but before they reached it, Chloe pulled Beca into the girl's bathroom and locked the door.

After checking that the cubicles were empty, Chloe sat Beca on the floor with her back resting up against the wall. She grabbed some tissue paper and wet it before laying it on her forehead, and did anything she could in desperate attempts to try and cool Beca down. "The nurse doesn't know that you're overheated. If I can just cool you down here, we can put your sweater back on for a couple of minutes while we go and get a slip for you to go home.

Beca nodded weakly, and after about ten minutes she agreed to pulling her sweater back on. They walked into the office, and Chloe did all the talking. "Can I get two slips to go home," she began putting on a weak voice, "We're both feeling sick, I think we had something really dodgy for dinner last night." Without a care in the world the nurse handed over the slips and waved them away. Sometimes, having a crap matron had its benefits. By the time Chloe ran down to PE to grab their clothes and they got on the bus home, it was lunch time. Just as they walked through the front door Chloe took Beca by the hand and led her to the sofa.

They sat down and it was almost like a trigger started the tears falling down Beca's face. Chloe leant forward, her heart breaking in two, and she held Beca for so long. Even when she pulled away she kept her hand resting on Beca's knee. "Why?" she asked, "Why did you do it?" Beca refused to look her in the eyes as she listed three things that came to mind: "Self-hatred. Love." On that word she looked up and held Chloe's gaze before continuing, "Because it's the only thing I can do, and it's one step away from suicide."

Now it was Chloe's turn to cry. "You said before, that you liked me before all of this happened. But just how much did you like me?"
Beca's voice broke as she replied, "So much that it hurt. I already knew how to hurt myself physically, but the way I felt for you scared the hell out of me. Knowing that I couldn't be with you made me hurt from the inside, which confused me so much. I then sort of turned the emotional pain into a physical pain – something which I actually understood."
"And what about the…the…" It was almost impossible for Chloe to say the word; it became lodged in her throat. Eventually she closed her eyes and said it quietly, slightly dreading the answer. "What did you mean about suicide? Have you tried…" She couldn't continue and burst into tears.

Beca held her and then explained, "Not yet. But I have a box… It's where I keep everything like bandages and stuff. And it's also where I keep a load of pills that I've slowly collected. There's enough there to kill me or do some serious damage, but I haven't had the guts to take them. And ever since I have been with you, I haven't wanted to. I haven't cut in two weeks, which is amazing for me." They spent the next few hours just curled up in each other's arms when Chloe said, "Are there any more?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are there any more cuts, other than the ones on your arms?"
"…No."
"You're a shit liar Beca, you know that?"

She hesitated for a moment, but then Beca decided that it was safe enough to confide in Chloe about the rest of her injuries. She rolled up the end of her shorts to reveal more cuts on her thighs, and then edged down the top of the shorts to reveal cuts on her hips too. Finally she moved her shirt out of the way and showed even more on her collarbone. It was all too much, and Chloe got up and ran to the bathroom, where she threw up.

The sight of her friend - the sight of her girlfriend hurting herself like that made her feel sick. What was even worse was that some of those scars were there because of her. Beca walked into the bathroom just as Chloe spat out some mouthwash into the sink, and the brunette handed her a glass of water to rinse her mouth out with before leading her up to the bedroom. Despite the fact that it was only late afternoon, they both lay on top of the bed and Chloe put a protective arm around Beca. "Promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Never hurt yourself again."

Beca stayed silent, because she knew that was one promise that was nearly impossible to keep. Noticing the silence Chloe continued, "At least promise me that if you ever feel like hurting yourself again, come to me first?"
"I promise," Beca replied.
"Do you pinkie promise?" It was something silly, but it meant a lot to the two of them. Beca wrapped her baby finger around Chloe's and repeated, "I promise."
"Good. Because you know that if you break that, you'll have to buy me a million chocolate bars?"
Beca nodded and smiled. "I know."