Gomen, gomen, gomen, gomenasai!!! I know this took an eternity to get up! I know! I know! -bows-
I got a BETA~ We had... some... technical difficulties, is all. Most of which should be good now. Hopefully. If not, we'll work out the kinks. Please be patient!
Thank you all, and most especially xElementFivex for being my BETA and being so nice to my old-fart computer~!
Love you all,
kyo
"A park?" I noted.
"You said you wanted out, but you never said where to. What do you have against parks?" Matt pouted, seating himself on a swing.
"Nothing! I just don't think kids our age normally go to parks. Like... ever."
"What 'kids our age?' This park's actually a popular date spot."
"... I think you failed to win the conversation."
"Yeah, I think you're right." He admitted. "But parks are nice. You don't need to be a certain age to have fun at a park." He chuckled, pushing himself on the swing.
"No, Matt, at a certain point you do get too old to giggle like a school girl because 'Oh, wowie, a swing!'" I assured.
"So what, you just hate swings, then?"
"Would you stop that? And stop swinging!" I bit.
He obediently dragged his feet to slow himself, raising clouds of dust at his heels. "Fine, I'll humor you. What do you want to do?"
"I want you to take off your goggles." I huffed, crossing my arms.
"Aw, Mello, that again? Come on, really? Anything but that?"
"No, just that."
"Liar. I'll do anything but that. There's gotta be something you'd want more."
"Make me L's successor." I demanded. He looked up at me, and I stared him in the eyes. His gaze stayed level with mine for a long moment, before he shifted his eyes down to the ground.
"Why's everyone so dead set on that, anyway?" He mumbled at the dirt.
"What?! That's why we're all here! Why are you here if you don't want to succeed L?!" I barked.
"Do you really think being L is that great? All that power, all that trust and faith put into you. Keeping up with the reputation, hiding away from the world 'cause half of it wants you dead? That's what everyone wants to be?"
"And you don't?! Why'd you even come to Wammy's?! Or at the very least, why are you staying here?!"
"I didn't come here because I wanted to! No one politely asked if I wanted to battle an entire slum of kids so I could waste my life solving everyone else's problems! I'm here because they found me and decided they wanted me. They decided all on their own that I should want this, that I was "smart" so I belonged here!" He muttered furiously, pausing to breath as he ran his slim fingers through his hair again. "I liked where I was, and I miss it. I wasn't an orphan; they just took me away from my mom like it was no big deal. If I could leave, I would. But do you think they'd ever let me? Let me just walk out the door, full of all the information I am. And since I can hack, they don't know what information I might have on me. Do you think they'd let any of us just go? Even the ones who get jobs out of Wammy's, of course they still monitor them. Don't be mistaken, Mello. They don't trust a single one of us."
"You sound completely off your rocker, Matt!" I bit. "Of course Roger trusts us."
"Really? Come on, Mello. If you had to monitor us, how would you feel? Getting all of the smartest kids on the planet and putting them all in one building somewhere in England, just to shove more and more information down their throats and make them all compete to be number one. Would you trust any of us not to get violent? Not to riot, to rebel?" His shoulders slumped as he rested his elbows on his knees and his head fell into his hands. And he looked so fragile. He did just look like an innocent kid who'd been pulled from a happy family life, and thrown into something horrible, a survival game for humans. And we were all competing to be a sullen-eyed slave-to-humanity. My head sunk down my shoulders a bit and I sat myself in the grass in front of Matt.
"What was she like?" I asked, changing the topic. He lifted his face just enough to give me a confused look. "Your mom."
A smile graced his lips. "Mom's the best. She raised me as a single mother, but she was always the best. Even though her son turned out like this," he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "An obsessive, technology geek that can't tear his eyes away from video games and forgot what colour the world was." He slumped forward. "It's only when I describe myself out loud that I realize... I'm really quite unattractive, aren't I?" He chuckled.
I rolled my eyes. "No, Matt, believe me, you aren't."
He smirked. "Awwww~! It means so much more coming from you. So you're admitting you totally have a crush on me?"
"No." I bit. "You have a fan club, I mean."
"Fan club? So what? So do you." He shrugged a bit.
"What?" I asked in disbelief.
"You didn't know? I thought you did. Isn't it more shocking that I do? I'm surprised enough people know I exist to form a club out of." He let out a breathy laugh.
"You laugh a lot, even when you're obviously not humored." I muttered. His laugh faded out quickly.
"I... guess I do. I haven't heard you laugh once, though. Have you ever thought maybe you just keep better company?"
I rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah, right. That's it. Say, getting back to that colour thing," I added. He groaned, displeased. "C'mon, Matt, just take off your goggles. What's there to be embarrassed about? We're at a park in the middle of the freakin' night. I'm the only person here. What are you so scared of?" He flinched away from the word 'scared' like it had bitten him. At first I thought it might have hurt his pride, and he'd retaliate, and I'd end up getting my way. But instead he rubbed his arms.
"Just drop it, Mello." He begged.
I blinked. "You are scared." I realized. "What the hell of?!"
"Shut the fuck up, Mello. It's none of your business." He snapped.
I clenched my jaw, trying not to bite back. Instead I turned my back to him and sat like that. "Do you remember anything? Like the colour of the sky?" I muttered.
"It's black, dipshit. It's almost midnight."
"It's not black. It's blue, just almost that dark. What about the harsh cerulean just before night time? The crystal blue of a cloudless afternoon? Or the pinks and blues of sunrise, or orange, yellows and reds of sunset? What about the green of the grass, or leaves in autumn, or the blue shadows of fresh snow? Colourful flowers and butterflies? Don't you ever wonder? Do you know what colour my hair is? Or my eyes? Or yours?"
"My hair is red." He muttered. "I remember. It's blood red."
"Your eyes?"
"I remember. I have Mom's eyes, so of course I remember. But I'm not telling you." He huffed.
I held my tongue. "What about me?"
"Y-you're... hair is... dirty blonde? Your eyes are... probably... hazel?" He guessed.
"Pfft!" I let out, quickly covering my mouth.
"I was wrong? What colours?"
"I'm not telling you." I repeated back, looking up at the starry sky.
He sighed, deflated. We sat in complete silence for a while, only the sound of Matt shifting awkwardly once in a while. I, honestly, had gone back to concerning myself with exactly how we were going to get back to our room. Suddenly, Matt's hand touched the back of my head, making me flinch - having totally thought he was going to hit me. So it surprised me when he suddenly ran his fingers though my hair, a lot more gently than when he did it to his own messy hair. "Silver blonde." He murmured. "It looked a lot darker."
It took my brain a second to put together his sentence before I spun around, my mouth already open to say words I was pretty sure would come to me when I saw him. But they didn't, because I was too startled. Speechless, looking like an idiot with my mouth open. Because I was almost sure that by the time I turned around his goggles would already be back on his face. But instead I met actual eyes. Green eyes, to be exact. Emerald eyes, a perfect complementary to his crimson hair.
"And your eyes are blue.... They looked darker, too." He stared intently, looking almost angry.
I couldn't help it. I started to laugh, and for the life of me I couldn't stop. He grimaced, already reaching to his neck for his goggles again. "N-n-no!" I gasped through my laughing, grabbing his wrist. "No, I'm sorry. It's just, th-the marks." I laughed. "It left marks on your face... it makes you look like a raccoon, if you coloured it. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it! Don't put them back on."
He frowned again, his free hand reaching up to feel the ridges under his eyes. "If I sleep without them, I wonder if it'll be gone by the morning...?" He murmured.
"Would you go to class without-"
"No." He answered. "Actually... about class...." He murmured. I frowned at him already. "I don't really want to go...."
"Matt." I bit. He flinched.
"Y-y-y-yeah, I d-didn't think s-s-so." He stuttered out, freeing his other hand to rub both his eyes. "It looks so...." He paused, looking up at the sky, confusion clouding his beginner eyes.
"Different?" I prompted.
"Real." He spat the word like there was something wrong with it.
"Yeah, Matt, this is the real world. Not some video game." I rolled my eyes.
"I never looked at the world that way... well.... But, I mean, it just seems so much more like something... I have to deal with. Like there's no avoiding it." He muttered harshly, before his eyes suddenly softened. "It is still blue." He noticed. "And was the moon... always that pale?"
"It hasn't gotten any paler." I rolled my eyes.
"Hm...." He pursed his lips, displeased by something. "I don't like this place." He decided, and before I could stop him, his goggles were back on his face and he was standing. "We should head back before someone notices." He decided. I looked up at him from the ground, frowning. "Unless you wanna sit out here all night on your own." He offered. I quickly got to my feet.
"Are you sleeping without them?" I asked.
"Probably not." He answered bluntly, starting to walk. I sighed, feeling utterly defeated and completely ready to get home to my bed. "But it wasn't a total loss. I got to see you, and you even laughed for - well... at me." He smiled, looping his arm with mine. "Now come on!" He urged, breaking out into a sprint. I tried to keep up with him. Once we were closer to Wammy's his arm suddenly left mine and he was ahead of me in seconds. He kept charging forward, and I quickly realized he wasn't going to stop. Not in the traditional way. Nope, he ran, bracing himself to an abrupt halt against a window, making a loud thump sound.
"M-M-Matt!!" I grabbed the collar of his vest and yanked him back. "Are you fucking stupid?!"
The window was thrown open. "Fuck, was that you?" A black haired, very Japanese looking boy peeked his head out. "Mail?" He whispered. I gripped Matt's vest, ready to bolt, but he freed himself from me and skipped up to the window.
"Yusuke, sorry to bother!" He chirped.
"Fuck you, "sorry!" It's 3 in the fucking morning. Normal humans sleep at this time, you know?!" He bit. "What on earth are you doing?!"
"We went for a walk." Matt jerked his thumb back at me, making me flinch. The boy's hand went to the bridge of his nose, but didn't find the glasses he must have usually worn when it wasn't "3 in the fucking morning," so instead he squinted into the dark.
"Your girlfriend?" He guessed.
I snapped. "Listen, mother fucker, wanna say that again you little shit?!" I bit harshly, taking a few long strides closer to the window, but Matt quickly held up his hand to detain me.
"Boyfriend?" The boy blinked. I opened my mouth to snap back again, but Matt beat me to it.
"Roommate." He corrected.
"Ah, good. For a second there I thought you were cheating on me." He grinned, patting Matt's red hair.
"Yeah, yeah. Say, we can sneak in through your window, right? 'Cause you love me oh-so-much." Matt smiled sweetly.
"Of course, my love. Anything for you." He returned, stepping aside.
"C'mon, Mello." He tugged me to the window, urging me through. We quickly snuck back to our room, and I made it that far. I made it until Matt was taking off his vest, actually.
"Okay, what the fuck was that?" I finally asked.
"Hm, you mean with Yusuke? Er... "Yoji," I guess...." I nodded. "He's a childhood friend, actually. That "love" thing is just a joke between us, so don't be jealous." He smirked. I frowned back. "When we were, like, 4 we promised we'd get married 'cause we were best friends and, y'know, girls were icky and all that." He laughed. "Although I do wonder if my mind-set has at all progressed, seeing how now I just avoid everyone." He shrugged.
"Childhood friend?" I murmured.
"Yeah, y'know. Everyone has that friend from kindergarten they grew up with that knows every little embarrassing detail and waits every second of everyday for you to go out with someone so they can tell them all your completely embarrassing stories 'cause they just love to fuck with you. That's Yusuke."
"I grew up in orphanages." I reminded. "I don't have those kinds of "friends.""
"Oh... lucky." He mumbled. "Believe me, it's not fun to have one of them."
"Isn't it weird to be that close to someone? I mean, with that whole "love" thing. Isn't that really... unnatural?"
Matt cocked his head. "Is it? I dunno.... Want me to vow to marry Mello, too?" He tried to throw his arms around me, but I quickly dodged.
"No, I'm good. Now get to sleep. We have class tomorrow."
He pouted, slinking off towards his room and pulling his shirt over his head at the same time.